Secret Passages AU
by MantaI-305Apollo'sChariot
Summary: Anna realizes 18-year-old Elsa is trying to attempt suicide after their parents' shipwreck, and breaks into Elsa's room to stop her. Now Anna knows about Elsa's magic since the room is covered with ice. How will this change the future? AU divergence from my story Secret Passages from chapter 23 onward. (Can be read alone, but may reference previous events from Secret Passages.)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Thanks you for clicking on my story!**

**If you've read my Secret Passages story, you know 18-year-old Elsa attempts suicide in chapter 23 after the parents' shipwreck. Here...what if _Anna _broke into Elsa's room herself instead of getting Gerda to help and discovered Elsa's powers then? So, diversion from canon in that Anna finds out about Elsa's magic three years before the coronation.**

**Also, depending on how fast time goes by in this timeline, OCs and plot points from my main Frozen timeline may or may not occur, with differences of course.:) And, obviously, Hans's actions will be different since Anna and Elsa will react differently by coronation time three years later.**

**On to the story!**

_"_Do you want to build a snowman?"

Elsa could barely hear Anna's last question and quiet sigh, but it was clear enough to Elsa's sharp ears. She rested her forehead on her knees on top of her crossed arms. _Yes, I do, but why did you ask me that, Anna? There's no snow on the ground outside. Just leave me alone. I wish I could leave and disappear forever. Anna could take care of Arendelle as long as someone helped her. She doesn't need me. I'm useless for anything and everything besides hurting the people I care about. I should just relieve everyone of the trouble and leave myself. _Elsa found herself slipping off her gloves and holding a sharp shard of ice against her wrist.

_I should at least tell Anna good-bye. I can do that. She doesn't need me-I hurt her. But I know she still cares. _Elsa squeezed her hand into a fist. "Goodbye, Anna..." she whispered. Her terrified eyes darted around the room. _I don't want Anna to be the one finding me. I'd hurt her more. _Elsa felt more trapped than ever. Where could she go to die where Anna would not see her?

_I don't know what to do. Go away, Anna. I can't let myself exist any longer. I'm just a danger to you. _Elsa's fingers clenched around her makeshift weapon as she jerked it across her wrist. It didn't hurt at first, and somehow she felt disappointed that she was so numb right now. She deserved for it to hurt, because she had hurt Anna and her parents were dead.

Anna jumped to her feet on the other side of the door. She'd been talking to Elsa for awhile now, and _that _was the only thing she said? _Elsa is depressed. She's going to-no. I'm not letting her do that! _"Elsa! Don't you dare! You _promised_!" She banged on the door as hard as she could. "ELSA! Let me in!" she howled. "DO NOT DO ANYTHING! You _PROMISED ME!_"

Elsa retreated to the opposite corner and curled into a ball, silently waiting, silently letting the tears come, finally. The magic inside _hurt. _It sparked painfully in her chest, wanting its owner to let it out. Ice crackled beneath Elsa even as she struggled to hold it inside. _It's taking so long. I want to go. Anna will be safe and I'll be nothing. I can end this finally. _

_But I did promise Anna. I did. I broke another promise. _Elsa stared at her arm through tear-filled eyes and threw her shard of ice away from her. Red and purple streaked the ice around her, and it vaguely crossed Elsa's mind that she wasn't sure if the red on the ice was from her being scared or from blood.

Elsa was still just sitting there in a ball, her eyes now screwed shut, when she finally grew aware of someone near her. The loud incessant Anna-pounding on the door was gone. It was quiet. Too quiet. She didn't move. Maybe the someone would just finish her off. That would be okay. _I can't even die right._

_...you promised Anna. Elsa, you promised not to do this. Why? Why did you try anyway?_

_I hurt. I'm so tired of hurting and I don't want to hurt anyone again and I don't deserve to be here in the first place. _Elsa put her hands over her face. _Stop it. You'll get ice in the hall. If Anna sees- _Elsa slumped to her side, feeling dizzy. A familiar voice nearby made her open her eyes again. _Anna...? No I must be imagining things._

"So _this_ is why you've been in here for so-Elsa! Elsa, no!" Anna gingerly picked her way through the rest of the maze of ice in the freezing room. There was Elsa in the corner, looking very small and tired, and here was the explanation for all the secrecy. Her big sister had ice magic, and she obviously couldn't control it. This was weird, very weird, but somehow Anna didn't feel all that surprised. Or disturbed. It explained _everything. _It even explained the cold drafts emanating from Elsa's room and Elsa's _I'm dangerous, I can't be around you _comments. She shivered. _Do I get help or do I do something myself? Myself. Myself, I'm not leaving Elsa. I'm never leaving her again. I don't care what's weird or different about her. She still just needs help. _Anna hesitantly bent to touch Elsa's shoulder, trying her best to ignore the puddle of blood beneath Elsa's arm. _She's so cold. Almost too cold to touch..._

The older girl flinched slightly but didn't really react. Anna bit her lip. Then another thought struck her, _a blanket! I can put a blanket on her. _Anna slid ungracefully over to Elsa's bed and yanked the comforter off. She wrapped it around Elsa's freezing body and just scooped her up. "I got you, Elsa," Anna whispered, tears filling her eyes. "I got you and I'm never letting you go again. I love you. I'm gonna keep you safe, even from yourself. I don't care about the ice, I don't care one bit." She struggled to her feet and carried her cold Elsa bundle awkwardly into the hall. _I'm going to protect her, I don't care what it costs or if she's 'dangerous' or what, I don't care. _Anna wondered if whatever strange abilities Elsa had were hurting her somehow, but something deep inside told her that probably wasn't the case, and that Elsa's issues had very little to do with her magical powers and everything to do with just her very normal human self. "You're going to be okay, Elsa. You're safe now," Anna whispered, thinking that she was also going to keep Elsa safe from herself if she was going to hurt herself, so there.

_I don't know what's happening. Am I...dead already? Can I stay here in this dream forever? I feel like Anna is holding me and the ice isn't hurting and wanting out. _Elsa's head drooped against Anna's shoulder. There was nothing to fight any longer. Staying in this weird limbo was not bad. She couldn't really move squished against Anna, but somehow she also just felt safe and _peaceful. _She was never ever peaceful. This felt peaceful. This was nice. Elsa stayed in the strange place between awake and unconscious for a long time. Someone gave her something sweet and chocolatey to drink awhile later, and she swallowed gratefully. The sense of _safety _and _peace _did not go away, and she was vaguely aware that someone _loved _her and wasn't going to leave her alone or throw her away or abandon her again.

Likewise the ice stayed oddly at ease and did not torment her any longer.

* * *

"-lsa...? Elsa, please say something. You're scaring me." Anna's voice sounded very far away. "I'm scared you won't wake up."

_I don't want to wake up, that means I'm not dead and I will have to get away from Anna. I can't let myself hurt her again. _Elsa clenched her fists, and the wound on her left wrist pulled and hurt. She kept her eyes closed, trying to go back to the happy place, but it was no good. This was real and she was not dead, and Anna was there.

_Anna found me and she saw the ice, _Elsa thought in horror. _What have I done?! _Elsa's blue eyes flew open and there was Anna _sitting next to her _and this wasn't her room _it was Anna's _and what if she lost control again and the ice, it might _come out _and it could _hurt _her little sister and she needed to get out of here. "I...I'm so sorry!" she blurted, and tried to get up, her gaze darting around the room in terror, her body shaking all over. Ice tingled in her fingertips and frost spread over the bed as Anna held her still. "Don't touch me! I d-don't want to hurt you!"

Anna reluctantly let go, and she felt like crying as she watched Elsa bolt out of bed and stumble to the opposite corner of the room, nearly tripping several times over things Anna had left all over the floor. Icy footsteps followed Elsa, and she stayed in the corner trembling, her eyes screwed shut as she spoke that stupid _conceal don't feel _phrase to herself. _But she didn't leave the room. That's surprising and...good. "_Elsa, it's all right, I promise. I'll stay over here if you want me to, okay?"

Elsa stared at Anna in surprise, her focus on the old mantra broken. She slowly nodded. _Anna doesn't sound like she hates me. She _did _see the ice, didn't she?_

"Can you maybe let out a _little _bit of ice on purpose? I wanna see your magic, and I sure have no idea how it works, but there was _so much_ ice in your room. It must hurt to hold it all in." Anna paused, then added, "And I'll stay here if you don't want me close. Cross my heart." She looked perfectly calm and at ease mentioning Elsa's powers, and Elsa found this awfully confusing.

_Why isn't Anna scared? She doesn't sound remotely disturbed at all. _Elsa gulped. "I...why aren't you scared of me? Why didn't you just...let me die?" she whispered. _I shouldn't even exist. Especially not this close to Anna. _Elsa realized something else, to her great surprise. Anna knew _nothing _about Elsa's magic, but she knew that it hurt her to hold it in too much. Why did Anna know that? Why was she being so understanding? Why wasn't Anna looking at her differently? But no, Anna just stood there and acted concerned but otherwise like everything was normal.

"Because I love you," Anna said plainly, "and I don't want you to live in pain, or let you go and kill yourself, either. Look, I don't understand why you and Mom and Dad kept this a secret. But I know now, so _please _let me help." _I'm not letting her go. Not ever. I'll question her about the magic later when she feels better, not now. _"I love you, no matter what is so-called wrong with you or what you've done."

Elsa was silent, but she relaxed ever so slightly and took a baby step away from her corner. _Anna's not lying to me. She doesn't care what's wrong with me. _A tiny bit of the emotional pain that was always with her now faded, replaced with the knowledge that her little sister knew her secret and did not hate her for it. Anna _loved _her. The icy footsteps did not dissolve, but they melted to puddles instantly.

Anna smiled at Elsa's reaction. "There you go. Do you...how are you feeling now?" she asked hesitantly, unsure she wanted to know the answer even if Elsa was willing to talk. What if Elsa attempted that again? What if she still _felt _like doing it again? _I don't want Elsa living like that. How much must she have been hurting to want to just...die?_

Elsa's expression clearly said she was mulling it over, but she finally just said, "I don't know."

Anna sighed. _Of course it won't be that easy to just...make her okay again. Elsa's traumatized and that's going to take time to heal. I know that. I just have to make her see that she's safe and loved, even if she makes mistakes. "_What do you want me to do for you? To help you feel better? Can you answer that?"

Elsa turned away and looked down at the floor. "You c-can't fix me. I'm broken," she said softly. _Nobody can fix me. Anna might love me, but she can't make the ice go away and she can't fix the rest of me, either._

_Yes, she can. Elsa, she was _holding _you and you felt safe and at peace. The ice didn't even want out. You know that wasn't a dream. You just weren't completely conscious. _"I...I'm sorry. I must sound horrible. I know now that y-you...rescued me. I think, I think you were holding me."

"Hey, it's okay. Well I mean obviously trying to...get rid of yourself like that isn't okay, but it's okay to not be okay." Anna paused, waiting for a response from Elsa, but Elsa just stared at her with those pained blue eyes and didn't answer. "What if I bundle up myself and then wrap you up in a blanket? Can I hug you then?"

Elsa hesitated but then shook her head. "I don't want to hurt you." _I can't let Anna do that. Why on earth would she even want to?_

Anna thought a minute and then grinned. "What if I get you the metal gauntlets from one of the suits of armor downstairs? Then can I give you a hug? I don't think holding your magic in helps you anyhow, and they're probably miles too big, but maybe those would help temporarily to make you feel better about being close to somebody else."

To Anna's surprise, Elsa's pale face lit up with delight, and she nodded. "I think that I would like that very much," she said. _I know I can't go around wearing armor gauntlets, but I also know that would be safe. It's like a...not cruel and awful version of those metal shackles in the dungeon._

"Do you feel well enough to come downstairs with me? It's like, the middle of the night. Gerda helped me take care of you but then I told her to go to sleep. Cause I can stay up with you."

Elsa nodded again; her wrist and arm ached and stung quite a lot, but that she could easily deal with. Besides, she was eager to please Anna after breaking that promise. Going downstairs with Anna would please Anna. Promises were important. _I have probably lost Anna's trust. I need to earn it back._

"...are you just saying yes because that's the response you think I want, or are you really feeling all right?" Anna questioned carefully. Something deep inside her warned that Elsa could probably easily be manipulated right now because she just wanted her family to _approve _of her and care for her, no matter how much she tried to stay away. With their parents gone and Anna knowing her secret, Elsa was probably desperate to not chase Anna away.

"...My wrist hurts, but I'm all right, I think," Elsa clarified, trying her best to be honest. She bit her lip hard when Anna scowled. "I'm sorry-I don't know how to explain..."

"Elsa, you don't have to apologize for that," Anna said firmly. "The _only _thing you owe me an apology for is breaking your promise. Nothing else."

"I didn't warn them about the storm-I was _selfish, _it's my fault Mom and Dad are dead!" Elsa blurted. _Now Anna will probably hate me. She shouldn't be so nice, I don't understand. I can't even go away now. Why did I promise Anna that? No. Stop it. I'm glad Anna saved me. Maybe I can have another chance._

_You don't deserve it._

_No, but I have one all the same._

"But Elsa, you _know _they wouldn't have listened to you. It wouldn't have made any difference. Look, I love our parents, and I know you do too, but you've got to see that...that making you feel like this isn't okay." Anna moved closer to her, and she was glad Elsa didn't back up.

"They had to protect you from..._this,_" Elsa said in disgust as she pointed at herself. "Mom and Dad didn't _make _me feel this way. It's just..." she trailed off and stared out Anna's window. _I could have been allowed to trade notes with Anna under my door. I could have been encouraged to talk to her through the door, _a little voice told her. _We could have been doing that since we were little instead of being scolded for it._

Anna's voice was gentle but firm when she replied. "You're not a _this,_ Elsa. You're still just Princess Elsa, heir to Arendelle's throne and _my _big sister. That weird magic you're so scared of doesn't matter to me. It's pretty amazing, actually. I just don't understand why it was such a big secret. Or why I don't have magic too! Did we have a horrible accident or something when we were little? Or is the magic itself, like, slowly...killing you or something and being around people makes you sick?"

_"_Yes," Elsa said simply, her voice shaky. _Anna is smart, smarter than she realizes._

"Which one?" _It must be the first..._

Elsa gave Anna a tiny hint of a smile before running out of the room and down the hall to her own room. Then she stopped short in the doorway. Much of the ice had simply _vanished. _There were still jagged icicles in a few places, but the corner where Anna had found her was completely thawed, and the ice grew thicker the farther away from the corner it was. _Anna did that? Does Anna have magic too? Or did she... _"She _fixes _me," Elsa whispered. The ice should have been the worst where she herself had been, and yet it was the opposite.

"Hey, it looks like you thawed most of it, Elsa! Good job," Anna praised from behind her, peeking over Elsa's shoulder. Elsa shook her head and began writing her explanation for Anna's previous two questions on a piece of paper at her desk. Anna tiptoed around the room, fascinated with her sister's magic and the fact that Elsa's room-aside from the icy mess-was completely neat with nothing out of place. The candle on Elsa's desk cast a flickering sheen on the ice, and Anna thought it was pretty.

Elsa stood up and hesitantly held her paper out to Anna awhile later. _Please understand. I could explain it on paper, but no way could I explain verbally. _She clasped her hands behind her back as she watched Anna light the kerosene lamp on the nightstand and start reading.

_'Anna, I'm sorry. I can't talk about this, so I wrote it. You are right. We did have an accident when we were small. We used to play with my powers in the ballroom. When we were 8 and 5, you woke me up to play because you saw the northern lights. We went downstairs to play like always, but...something happened. I was making snow piles for you to jump on, and they were just getting taller and you were jumping faster and I couldn't keep up. I missed and I hit you in the head. The rock trolls healed you, but they had to take your memories of my powers away. I'm so sorry. I'll understand if you hate me now.' _Anna glanced up at Elsa and touched her own white streak in her red hair. "That's how I got my white streak!" she exclaimed. "Cool. It really is like it's having part of you with me all the time." _Except, how can Elsa think I'd hate her for that?! We were little kids. Sounds like just an unfortunate accident._

Elsa was incredulous at that reaction, but she immediately relaxed. Anna knew the worst thing she had done and still she didn't seem to care. Elsa did not understand that, but it did make her feel much more at ease. _There's nothing else I can tell Anna that would chase her away. _She just stood there with her hands clasped behind her back, waiting for Anna to finish reading.

_'As for your other question, yes in the sense that it's killing me _inside_. It makes me feel sick that I can't be the sister you deserve, or the daughter Mom and Dad deserved. I have missed you so much. I'm so tired of this. It is not literally killing me, although you were right: it does hurt to hold it inside all the time. If I could get the magic out of me somehow, I would. I hate it.' _Anna hesitantly looked up at Elsa when she finished reading. "You should not hate it. It sounds like little us just had a horrible accident. ONCE. How did an accident turn into you being...isolated in here for years? I don't get it," she said, clearly puzzled. _She was just a little kid! Same as me. I mean, we fell and got hurt loads of times before...this. Does this mean poor Elsa basically got permanently punished for an accident? No wonder she's all sad and frightened and...hurting. "_That's not right, and it isn't fair! Why weren't you taught to use your magical abilities better, or, you know, if nothing was working, just _remove _them so you'd be okay again? You _are _sick, Elsa. Even I can see that. You're hurting and struggling to live. What you did to yourself just proves that!"

"...Can't you see I'm just a lit fuse ready to...to explode? I'm dangerous," came Elsa's quiet reply. "I _hurt _you!" _Anna is crazy! She is acting like I'm just a normal girl, and I'm not. _"And...I can't have it..._removed. _I wish I could, but it's part of me. I'm stuck with it," she said quietly. "I'm sorry I am like this..."

"You're not dangerous. You had an accident _ten years ago _when we were _eight and five. _And then you and our parents decided it was a peachy idea to make all of that magic stay in. With that conceal don't feel nonsense." Anna took a few steps closer to Elsa, and the older girl flinched and backed up a few steps. "Elsa...I know you're scared of hurting people, but what if you knew you could let the magical ice out on purpose without hurting anyone? Wouldn't that, like, make the pressure of keeping it inside less?"

"I can't control it!"

"Maybe you can't control it now because there's so much inside you that it leaks out. Like if you fill up a bottle too far, it overflows. You've been bottling up magic ice and storing it up for ages, right? Must be an awful awful lot!" Anna's face lit up when Elsa actually moved a tiny bit closer and her tense shoulders seemed to relax a little. Not a lot, but still. _Elsa already seems better. She still looks sad, but she's not all terrified anymore._

"Why...why does that actually _make sense_...?" Elsa darted over to her dresser, yanked the drawer full of gloves open, and tugged a second pair on over the ones she was already wearing. Then she pulled the heaviest blanket off the top shelf in her closet and wrapped herself up in it. She hesitantly edged closer to Anna. Surely with her extra precautions it would be okay. The ice was not agitated at the moment; she wouldn't explode and hurt her baby sister.

Anna smiled reassuringly. "It's okay, Elsa. I'm right here whenever you're ready and now that I know your secret, I can help." _I might not remember anything about Elsa's magic, but I'm SURE that being isolated in her room made everything worse for her, not better. That I do know. And... "_Hey, isn't it sort of linked to your emotions somehow?"

A silent nod.

Anna moved a bit closer within an arm's length of Elsa. The older girl stiffened and eyed Anna warily. "And the magic ice stays in better when you're feeling better? You don't look _happy _now, but you don't seem so scared anymore, and I don't see any more ice coming out, even if you're all tense and staring like a wild cat." She hesitated before adding, "I think you need some fun, nice things to distract you. Or something."

Elsa was looking down at the floor now, clutching the blanket she had wrapped around herself. _I should make Anna go away. I'm not doing what Mom and Dad always told me I should do. That's bad. I _shouldn't _be happy. They are gone and not me. But...Anna is being so nice to me. She knows what's wrong with me, she knows what I did, and she's still not leaving me._ She cringed away from Anna when she felt a gentle touch on her shoulder, but she couldn't bring herself to make Anna leave, even if she felt like it was awfully selfish to let her stay. Anna just _being _there made her feel more like a normal girl; it was like Anna didn't even see everything wrong with her or else didn't care. "You shouldn't touch me," she said finally.

"I don't care if your magic makes you dangerous 'til we figure out how to help you control and use it properly. I love you just the way you are." Anna resisted the urge to just give Elsa a hug. That would probably chase her away all over again.

_I can't do that. I wouldn't be doing what our parents wanted me to do, and they're gone! That's disrespectful. _"You need to leave me be and go back to your room," Elsa said after a moment. _But...I don't want her to leave! Anna helps. I don't feel so lonely with Anna nearby. I don't feel so...horrible with Anna here._

"I'm not going to leave you for a second right now! I don't trust you to not...hurt yourself again. So no. Besides, why are you saying that anyhow? Obviously you don't want to be alone." Anna watched Elsa just curl up in a ball as small as possible on her bed. It struck her that Elsa probably lay there like that often by herself, listening through the door.

Elsa didn't answer, but she also did not try to make Anna leave again. She felt exhausted and mostly she just wanted everything to stop hurting. And she missed their parents, however much she had struggled unsuccessfully to be good enough. There was a tiny part of her now that wondered _will everything be okay now since Anna found out? _That tiny bit of hope, usually stuffed down to nothing, felt stronger now. Elsa still had the uncomfortable feeling of too much magic inside her as she always did, but it wasn't overwhelming her now, either. Like Anna had mentioned the idea of the bottle being full to bursting, Elsa felt more like her 'bottle' cap was _just _able to screw on rather than needing all her willpower and strength to just hold it on the top and _still _leaking ice out. "I think...I think you are right," she whispered finally.

"Good. Um, about which part?" Anna sat on the edge of Elsa's bed, close but not too close.

Elsa instantly scooted over to the opposite edge of her bed. "The...it...it...leaking out because it...wants out because there...there is too much inside," she said hesitantly; then cringed as if Anna would scold her for expressing that. _Stop it, Elsa. Conceal, don't feel._

_But Anna doesn't mind...me. She won't leave._

_You can't risk hurting her. And how do you know she won't? She could change her mind. Why should she even _want _to stay with you?_

_I trust her. _Elsa scrunched her eyes shut.

"Hey, you don't need to be scared of how I might react, all right? Let the magic out if it wants out. I could even go out in the hall while you do it if you're still scared of hurting me. I'm _sure _Mom and Dad didn't mean for you to be hurting like this. They were just kind of dumb and...and somehow didn't realize it." Anna did not try to touch tense, frightened Elsa, but she did move a little closer.

"Don't call Mom and Dad dumb!" Elsa protested. "They were just trying to protect you."

Anna sighed. "Leaving you like this is dumb. I'm younger than you and I can see you aren't okay. Mom and Dad are-were-grownups supposed to love and take care of us. That's why they're dumb! I can say that and still love them." She hesitated before gently patting Elsa's shoulder. Elsa flinched again but didn't say _Don't touch me. _"Did you _ever _try something besides just that ridiculous conceal don't feel stuff? Cause obviously it doesn't work."

Elsa shook her head. "I...I just wanted to make them happy. But I...I'm..._never _good enough. Never. I can't do it right. And...and I didn't want...w-want...to let him know...that I..." Elsa's shaky voice broke and she curled into a tighter ball, her fingers squeezing her injured wrist. _Stop it. I can't tell Anna that. She shouldn't listen and-_

_But Anna _loves _you. She won't think badly or hate you for being...broken. Hasn't she shown that already?_

_I don't want to hurt her!_

_Is that all, or are you just scared of Anna seeing what you really are?_

Anna couldn't stop herself any longer; she reached for Elsa and just held her close, ignoring the bitter cold and Elsa's protests that Anna not do that. "You're not going to hurt me, and if you do, we will go see the funny rock trolls you wrote about," she said firmly. _"Also. _Elsa, just look. The magic mess you're making right now isn't dangerous. It's a bunch of snowflakes and soft snow. No sharp poky icicles or anything like that."

Elsa instinctively jerked away from the unfamiliar safety of Anna's arms, unwilling to risk hurting her. _Anna is right, though. _Soft powdery snow covered the entire bed and part of the floor, and fat snowflakes floated around her, but no ice was leaking out. And instead of scolding her about the mess she had made, Anna just looked curiously at her and smiled. Elsa stayed quiet, but she smiled back a tiny bit. _Thank you, Anna. I know it's selfish, but I...I'm almost happy right now. You know what's wrong with me and you still love me just the same. That...makes me think _maybe _things can be different. Maybe._

The snowflakes stopped falling, and although Elsa couldn't feel it-yet-the temperature rose as well. Her blue eyes stared at Anna in wonder. "They...they are gone," she whispered.

Anna nodded. "They went away when you smiled, Elsa," she said quietly. _She has to be happy to be able to control it. Probably at least sort of calm too. _"Go back to sleep. I won't leave you alone ever again. I promise."

**A/N: So...how will this change the timeline in the future? Maybe Hans's plans will fail before they begin. Maybe the sisters will figure out what happened to their parents sooner. Maybe Jade will act differently. Maybe Elsa will find out about the League of Seven sooner. (I will not be keeping every plot point from previous stories for obvious reasons lol:)) Obviously Anna is already working on cracking the key for Elsa being able to control her powers, so there will be no panicky power mistake at the coronation party three years from now. What will happen in _this _three years compared to original Secret Passages?**

**Here Elsa will get (a lot) of extra time to handle her magic with Anna's help compared to canon timeline Elsa. She still obviously needs help with her own non-magical issues, but now Anna knows _why _Elsa is the way she is, so Anna can actually help her.**

**Also, to anyone reading League of Seven, the next chapter is ALMOST ready, I am editing it:)**

**Next chapter coming soon:)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**Megan Lyle: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it:)**

**GeekGirl2~Yay! I figured Anna probably considers her white streak a little bit of Elsa since it's so close to the color of her sister's hair:) Anna isn't _completely _sure of the key yet, but she does know Elsa needs to be happy somehow and that she hasn't been happy at all (obviously). They will go to the North Mountain sooner, but I won't spoil how/why yet!:) I agree-with Anna there, Elsa is better able to be happy and calm, and she's going to struggle to hold the magic in even if they _do _figure out the control key until she releases a LOT of it. Elsa has so much power built up inside her by now that any mistakes she does make are nothing compared to how much she's able to hold in. (But neither of the girls really realizes that yet./) Of course after she's able to relieve that pressure it will be much easier for her to learn real control with Anna's help.:)**

**ImpVarjack61~That's awesome, I'm glad you enjoyed it!_ l hope you like where this AU goes!:) Anna and Elsa interacting is my favorite thing to write.**

**Elsa Tomago~I thought so too:) I've had this idea for a long time but just never actually started it lol. Yes, Anna will do whatever it takes to help Elsa. She may not know anything about magic, but she knows Elsa needs help and that she's lonely, and Anna can be that friend Elsa needs.:)**

**On to the story! **

Elsa woke up in the morning surprised that no nightmares had visited her the rest of the night. Instead she had slept peacefully for the first time in she wasn't sure how long, feeling oddly safe, and not horribly lonely. She felt something holding her hand and she quickly snatched it away. There was Anna half-sitting half-lying next to her; it was obvious Anna had meant to stay up sitting with her all night and finally fallen asleep. Elsa scrambled out of bed and stared at the sleeping Anna. _Why did she stay with me? She did say she would, but..._

Elsa realized Anna didn't appear to be cold, and the remaining ice and snow in her room was mostly gone. What little bits were left were just small puddles of water. _It's not freezing in here? I can't feel any temperatures now, but Anna can. She doesn't look cold. _Still, Elsa tiptoed over to her fireplace that she never used. If Anna was going to be in her room, she would keep Anna warm. A fire should help.

Elsa was debating whether to go find firewood somewhere when she heard a familiar knock. "You can come in, Gerda." The door was already open-_Anna has already changed things, _Elsa thought fondly-and she hesitantly looked up.

"I've just brought you and Princess Anna some breakfast. Are you feeling better this morning?" Gerda was clearly concerned, and she set the breakfast tray on Elsa's desk before focusing on the crown princess herself. "And, do you wish to...talk about anything?"

"I'm fine," came Elsa's standard reply. No, she didn't wish to discuss what she had almost done. Part of her still wished she had succeeded, but the other part was just incredibly relieved that Anna had discovered her secret and maybe now she had a chance to change things. _That's selfish, Elsa. You don't deserve anything else._

_But...but Anna said she loved me. She still cares._

_She shouldn't! What have you ever done for her? You even broke your promise! _The all too familiar pressure of the ice begging for release was poking and prodding her again. Elsa's fingers flitted to her bandaged wrist and squeezed. Maybe something else hurting would make the magic stop paining her for once. No temperature perception left her with what she knew would be 'cold' to anyone else just being numb and achy inside her and no sense of warmth at all. Elsa had memories of being able to sense heat and her own powers feeling just pleasantly cool to her when she was little, but those sensations were vague and faraway now. She did not think those sensations would ever come back to her; they were lost when she could no longer control it. _Elsa, what would Anna think? She wouldn't want you to do this._

_I don't deserve to feel better. It _should _hurt. I just don't want the powers to hurt anymore. I'd rather something else hurt._

_Stop it. Stop it now. _The ice still wanted out; it crackled painfully inside and settled in her chest again. Elsa scrunched her eyes shut. _I want it to stop. I feel like I have a monster crushing me inside._

_It's not crushing you. It just wants out. It hates what you are doing to it as much as you hate what it's doing to you, _some bit of logic told her_. _Elsa's eyes snapped open when she felt something tug the injured wrist away from her, and she instantly pulled her hand back.

"Princess Elsa, you need to stop this." Gerda's gentle voice broke into her thoughts. "You're going to hurt yourself further."

_I don't care. _Elsa stayed quiet, but it was clear from her expression that she didn't care about that.

"Your sister cares. Do it for her then until you can do it for yourself." Gerda turned Elsa around so she was facing sleeping Anna. "You love her. I know you do. Let her help you. Can you do that?"

"I don't want to hurt her," Elsa said, half to herself and half not. _And I'm scared she might not want me anymore. I'm not the girl she remembers. Not anymore._

"You need to let someone help you, princess. I know you didn't mean for your sister to find out about your magic, but she knows now. Let her help. She must have helped you last night or you would have made her leave," Gerda pointed out.

"She doesn't understand that it's dangerous," Elsa protested. She hesitated before adding, "But Anna did make me feel better." _That is the truth. Anna doesn't know much about it but she just stayed with me anyway. She made me _feel. _I smiled. And I don't know how, but some of the power...mess went away too. ...Do I have to be happy to control it? That doesn't make sense...I can't force myself to be happy..._

"I believe you are underestimating her, Princess Elsa. I am quite sure that your sister simply doesn't care about the possibility that your magic can be dangerous, not that she doesn't know that the possibility is there. I have thought for a long time that she might be the key to helping you figure out how to control it again, but there was nothing I could do before."

Elsa stared at Anna and picked at the bandage on her wrist. _I scared Anna. Not because of the ice but because she thought she would lose me. I don't understand that, but surely I can stay for Anna's sake. That I can do. Surely I can do _something _right for her._

Elsa was still staring when Anna woke up a minute later; the younger girl yelped when she realized Elsa was gone and she had fallen asleep-who knew what Elsa might do if no one was watching over her!-but then Anna saw Elsa standing in the middle of the room. _Yesterday wasn't a dream. Elsa...hurt herself, but I have my sister back, I know her weird secret. I will not let her shut herself away again. _Anna hopped up and ran over to Elsa, but didn't try to touch her. "Good morning, Elsa. Let's go do something fun outside today." _I _will _make Elsa happy again. So there._

Elsa glanced at Gerda for help. "I...I can't go outside. Someone might see me, and it's summer, if I mess up, it will be very-"

"No, we will go out to the castle gardens," Anna interrupted. "Nobody's gonna see you unless we say so." She gave Elsa a reassuring smile and then went over to Elsa's wardrobe to look for something suitable for summer outdoor weather. "Gerda, who else knows about Elsa's magic?" Anna's voice was muffled in the wardrobe as she dug through Elsa's _many _heavy blue winter appropriate dresses.

Elsa felt something towards Anna she had not felt since they were very small. She felt a very normal-older-sibling annoyance by her little sister digging through her things. And Anna was _messy_! Elsa bit her tongue; she would not fuss at Anna for that.

"Only Kai and myself know. ...Princess Anna?" Gerda could tell Elsa was a bit perturbed, and somehow that made her think Elsa would be just fine.

"Yeah?" Anna's head emerged from the wardrobe. "Elsa, don't you have any summer casual outfits?"

"Considering you dug through the whole wardrobe, I should think you already know," Elsa replied a bit peevishly. _Elsa, that was mean. Apologize. Anna doesn't have to stay here with you, remember. _"I'm sorry. That was not nice." She looked down at her indigo dress, now a little wrinkled from sleeping in it, and smoothed the skirt. "And, um, these are my everyday clothes."

Anna realized Elsa didn't like her rifling through the wardrobe but felt bad for implying such. _Okay, Elsa's desperate to please but she does still have things she likes and dislikes and stuff that irritates her. But she's not going to tell me those things easily. I shall have to be careful so I'm not...pushing her around. I don't know. _"But Elsa, you need summer stuff," she said finally. Anna looked critically at her sister. "You'd probably look really cute in, like, a light blue linen outfit with rosemaling trim or something. With lace gloves and a sun hat so you don't get burnt."

Elsa looked away. "What for? I don't need clothes meant to keep you cool in summer. I...I can't feel anything," she said softly. "And what good would lace gloves be? That won't keep that ice inside." _I don't understand? What's with Anna and the outfits?_

Gerda tactfully kept quiet for now and let the two sisters talk, just watching over them.

Anna frowned. _That sounds awful. Poor Elsa. _"Could you feel temperatures when you were little? Also. Why the heck do you think gloves keep your magic in? It's silly! It's just fabric, I bet you could just use your magic right through-"

Elsa looked horrified, and Anna cut herself off. _If Anna is right, that is very very bad. But. I feel like part of me knows that already and just doesn't want to believe it. _She stayed quiet and just sat down at her desk to eat breakfast.

Anna watched silent Elsa for a moment and then darted off to her own room, saying she would be back in a minute. Elsa stared at her breakfast. It smelled good, but suddenly she just wished she could _feel _the heat from the pancakes. She looked over at Gerda and then back at her plate. "I can't really remember what warmth feels like very well. I miss it," she admitted.

"Once you figure out how to control it, I'm sure you'll have that back," Gerda said simply. There was nothing else to say; it was hard for Gerda to imagine living in what amounted to a personal bubble with no temperature perception at all like Elsa did now. _I am so glad Anna found out about Elsa's powers. I'm sure Anna will be good for her, and I know Anna has missed Elsa, too._

Elsa methodically ate her breakfast until Anna came back a few minutes later with a blue-green light summer skirt draped over her arm and a hatbox. She couldn't help looking curiously at Anna.

Anna waited for Elsa to stand up and held up the skirt. "You're so skinny you can definitely fit my skirts. Wear one of your pretty short sleeve blousy shirts you put under your jacket outfits. Here is a sun hat so you won't get sunburned. And here are some lace gloves, like I said. Also I brought you some blue hair ribbons. The last thing is the gauntlets I stole from downstairs. Now you have to let me hug you." She smiled at Elsa's reaction. Elsa's blue eyes grew big and round and she cautiously reached to touch the things Anna had brought her. _Elsa must still like to dress up. Well obviously she does, she's got a zillion fancy dresses and no one sees her. Just, none of them are summer ones._

"What if I ruin these things?" Elsa asked hesitantly.

"It's okay. I have plenty more to share with you if this stuff gets wrecked." Anna grinned. "Besides, you can ask Gerda to make you some summer stuff of your own. Can't she, Gerda?"

Gerda nodded. "As many as you like."

Elsa wrapped herself up in the heavy blanket as she had before, pulled on the metal gauntlets, which were predictably far too big for her, and glanced shyly at Anna. _I don't mind if you hug me now. I can't hurt you through metal, _she thought. Elsa suddenly had another thought-what if Anna didn't want to be close to her and pushed her away?-but Elsa needn't have worried about that. Instantly she felt Anna hugging her tightly, and her tense body relaxed.

"It's all right, Elsa, see? You don't have to be alone anymore," Anna said quietly. Elsa was chilly to touch now but not freezing cold, and it was clear she was happier. _Elsa likes hugs! She's just so scared of hurting anyone that she pushes us all away from her. _"I love you, Elsa. You're gonna be okay, I promise."

"I...I love you too. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything." Elsa relaxed further, her head resting on Anna's shoulder. Tears trickled down her cheeks, but these were happy tears. _I feel so safe and-_

Elsa abruptly pulled away from Anna and stared at her with a genuine smile on her pale face. "You are _warm,_" she whispered in awe. That unfamiliar long forgotten sensation was _warmth. _Elsa still could not really process temperatures properly, but she knew deep inside that the safe cozy feeling she had when Anna held her was being _warm. _Even if it wasn't what an ordinary person would think of as warmth, it felt so nice and reassuring to Elsa, and even her magic settled a little. It still badly wanted out, but the constant pain of the pressure of holding it in lessened. She closed her eyes and just stayed quiet when Anna hugged her again. _I could stay here forever. This feels nice. So much better than...than just yesterday before Anna found me._

Anna was confused now, but it was very obvious to her that for whatever reason, Elsa was comfortable being touched with those dumb metal gauntlets on her hands, and that she felt much better when Anna held her. Not only was Elsa not so cold to touch, she wasn't so tense, and it seemed like there were just waves of relief coming from the older girl right now. So Anna just continued hugging the traumatized ice mage and tried to figure out what to do next. _Maybe I shouldn't have suggested those things though. Now Elsa is just going to leave them on as often as possible so she can be "not dangerous" or whatever and let me and Gerda near her. She can't go around wearing metal armor!_

Anna also wondered if Elsa's ice COULD break metal. After all, it was magic. Maybe she could. Anna did not voice this.

Elsa thought she would just stay right where she was unless someone made her move. She wasn't near confident enough to return Anna's hug herself, but her little sister didn't seem to mind. Elsa just stood there with her arms clamped to her sides, her head resting on Anna's shoulder. _What would Mom and Dad think if they saw me now? Would they be angry with me? I'm being very bad letting Anna close...but she makes me feel better. She found out about what's wrong with me and she still cares. I was so scared she might hate me, but instead she likes the horrid ice and she's willing to hug me._ "Am...am I cold to touch?" she asked so quietly Anna could barely hear her. "I...I can't tell, I'm sorry-"

"No. You're only super cold when you're all upset and panicky," Anna interrupted quickly. "Right now you just feel cool to touch. Like a nice autumn or spring day sort of temperature. You can remember the way that feels, right?"

Elsa was not sure she really remembered that or not, but she also knew those were pleasant temperatures for a normal person like Anna, so she nodded. _I didn't know I wasn't freezing to touch. I thought I would be like a nasty ice cube to anyone else. _She couldn't help feeling incredibly lucky that Anna had not abandoned her upon discovering the magic, but all of the guilt from hurting five-year-old Anna and not warning their parents about the storm came rushing back, and she abruptly pulled away and darted into her bathroom. _What am I thinking? I shouldn't let Anna so close. I don't deserve her love or care. She should just leave me._

Elsa couldn't manage the bathroom door lock with the too-big metal gauntlets on, and she reluctantly dropped them to clatter on the floor. All of a sudden there was Anna snatching her hand and _holding _it and she didn't look remotely scared and Elsa wanted to let her hold it, she really did, but _I can't I can't let Anna be hurt I've got to make it stop_

_conceal don't feel make the ice stay in Elsa _

Elsa snatched her hand away, and her glove slid off. She held her bare hand close against her chest, and scrunched her eyes shut. _Elsa, if you can't calm down, you NEED to make Anna leave! You must!_

"Elsa. Elsa, look at me."

_I can't. I don't want you to see me like this. I'm so scared I might hurt you._

"Elsa, look at me. Now." Anna's voice was sharp, and Elsa was so surprised that she instantly obeyed. "Good. I'm sorry I startled you like that touching you. I've moved over here, 'kay?" Anna wished Elsa would react, but she just stood there, her arms now wrapped around her middle hugging herself. _How do I get Elsa willing to _try _to experiment? I don't think she pulled away from the hug because she was scared. She thinks she deserves to be all alone somehow. _"Um, you want to make me happy, right?"

Elsa nodded ever so slightly. Yes, she did want to make Anna happy with her. There was no reason for her to exist if Anna didn't want her any longer.

"Well, it would make me very, very happy if you would let me help you. It would also make me happy if you were happy. I don't want you to feel like this anymore." Anna thought for a moment before adding, "You punishing yourself is not going to bring Mom and Dad back. And it's not your fault anyways." She had another idea and asked Gerda to please get a bowl of chocolates from downstairs. "I'm gonna reward Elsa with them when she does something good to help herself get better!"

"I'm not a puppy that needs treats," Elsa protested, but she didn't say anything further. _If...if Mama and Papa are gone, isn't Anna the one I have to please? Besides, I broke my promise to her. I can never make up for that...I should do whatever Anna tells me as long as it won't harm her._

Anna only smiled at her. "I'm going to go out in the hall. You're going to change clothes and then come downstairs with me. All right?" She was delighted when quiet Elsa nodded and seemed to perk up again a tiny bit.

_I can do that. That will not hurt Anna. _Elsa did as Anna said and then hesitantly peeked into the hall, feeling very, very self conscious. "Anna, I look ridiculous," she mumbled. Elsa clutched Anna's lace gloves in one gloved hand; she hadn't been willing to give up her normal everyday gloves and replace them with the flimsy pretty lace ones, even though Anna's point that her magic worked through fabric was probably true.

"No you don't! You look pretty, and ready for a picnic," Anna corrected. She smiled at Elsa and gently patted her shoulder.

Elsa flinched and jumped back. "Don't, don't touch me! I d-don't have the gauntlets on any more."

"Okay, we're just going to wrap them up in the blanket and bring them," Anna said quickly. She went in Elsa's room, grabbed the items, and came back. Then she gave Elsa a mischievous look. "You have to earn them back. Make something on purpose with your magic and then I'll give 'em back."

Elsa stared. "I could make you give them back," she said finally.

"Yeah you could but I know you aren't gonna use your authority on me, so pooh." Anna was clearly not one bit sorry.

"..." Elsa didn't answer that, but she did follow Anna down the hall and downstairs. "Where are we going...?"

"The ballroom. You can experiment in there. Do the pretty magic in there! There's plenty of room."

* * *

Elsa stopped short at the bottom of the stairs. "No! I can't go in there," she said softly, holding her palms safely pointed toward herself just in case she made a mistake. _I hurt Anna in there! I don't want to go in there again if I don't have to. _Elsa's mind flitted back to the accident. _Little Anna always said 'Do the magic!' I hurt her!_

_Why is big Anna saying that phrase?! She doesn't even remember that. Pabbie took her memories away. I don't...I don't think that was right. Can't she have them back?_

"Elsa. Elsa, it's okay-you said the accident was in there. That's why you don't want to go in, right?" Anna asked gently, her blue-green eyes searching Elsa's frightened expression for confirmation.

"...y-yes." Elsa would not meet Anna's eyes. _Why does Anna know me still? It's like she never went away. _Elsa also felt more at ease around Anna simply because her little sister had found her at her absolute worst and _still _didn't act scared of her or like there was something wrong with her. "I don't feel like I have to hide...the...other things wrong with me around you," she said very quietly after a moment, surprising herself at speaking up about that. While Elsa couldn't help still thinking that Anna might change her mind and not want her around anymore, deep in her heart she _knew _Anna would not do that all the same.

Anna frowned, but then she realized that no matter how sad that sounded to her, it was a _good _thing for Elsa to say. That meant Elsa did know that she was around someone that was not going to leave her. It was just that she was hurting and depressed and those sad thoughts were still overwhelming her. _Okay, I have to help Elsa make those bad thoughts stop bothering her. "Normal" happy Elsa is still somewhere in there, I just know it. Elsa just can't feel better by herself. "_Let's make new, good memories in there, Elsa. They'll help make the bad ones not so bad." _I wanna give her a hug, but if I do that now I'll chase her away._

Elsa's gaze was on Anna's white streak in her hair. _I hurt Anna before. What am I doing? Shouldn't I just be back in my room...? _"I do not want to go in there!" _Elsa, you wanted to make Anna happy. She wants you to go in there. So do it. _Elsa bit her lip hard and pushed the ballroom doors open herself with shaking hands. "I...um...if I...if I do anything, I w-won't be able to...get rid of it," she stammered. Frost crackled beneath Elsa's feet, and she yelped as she moved away from Anna.

"That's all right. We just won't let anyone in," Anna assured her, ignoring the power mistake Elsa had made. "Besides, I think you _can _thaw what you make. I don't know exactly how obviously, but I think you have to be happy and calm. Or something like that."

Elsa forced herself to walk further in. It seemed everywhere she looked was the memories of playing in there when she was small with little five-year-old Anna, even though the ballroom was empty. She could picture exactly where all of the piles of snow had been, where they had built the last Olaf, where the "real" magic had disappeared for her for the first time when she had hit little Anna. _I can't do this. I can't. Little Anna just wanted me to play with her and I ended up hurting her._

"I can watch you from here if you like. You could go alllll the way on the other side of the room. You could even aim your magic away from me if you're still worried about hurting me. But I don't think you will." Anna shut the doors and stood blocking them. "Do the magic, Elsa."

"You sound so much like y-you did...before," Elsa whispered. _I do want to make Anna happy. I can't possibly hurt her if I go as far away from her as possible, right? I can aim it at myself and not Anna, just in case... _She looked down at her hands and then over at Anna, who was certainly no longer five, but was still looking hopeful and excited, just like her little kid self had.

Elsa felt like the white streak in Anna's red hair was glowing, even though it was obviously not doing any such thing.

"Well, I can't remember that, but I know we must have had lots of fun in here before the accident, right?" Anna dearly wanted to run over and just give her big sister a hug, but she was determined to not scare Elsa more. She smiled when Elsa nodded vigorously. "Try thinking about those things. Not the one time it went wrong."

"But it only takes one mistake to-"

"Elsa, remember all the times we fell and got hurt playing outside or on the stairs? It didn't stop us. Well I know you tried to be more careful and make me be careful but. Heh. You know what I mean. If we got hurt we just went and got help and Gerda and Mom made us rest til we were better. It was no big deal. We're human. We're supposed to make mistakes." Anna paused before adding, "_If _you hurt me, and I _know _you won't, we'll get Gerda and Kai to help us. Okay? I trust you even if you don't."

_That's true. Thank you, Anna. _Elsa smiled ever so slightly. The ice tingled pleasantly in her fingers as if telling her _I will behave for you if you use me, _even though the painful pressure remained through the stifled flow of the rest of her. "What, um...what do I do...?"

"Make something small first. Like a snowball or something," Anna suggested.

_My signature snowflake, _Elsa thought. _I could do that. It's the only pretty thing I know I can make. _"Are you sure, absolutely positively certain you want me to do..._this_?" she asked.

"Yes. Definitely. I want you to feel better and I'm positive using your powers will make you feel better," Anna said firmly. "Please, Elsa. Besides, selfishly I want to see it!"

Elsa's cheeks turned pink as she very slowly pulled off one glove and held out her snowflake hovering over her hand. _This doesn't feel wrong. It feels very right, actually... "_Anna...?"

Anna bit her lip hard, not liking how blatantly obvious it was that Elsa wanted approval for what she was doing. "It's pretty, Elsa. Come on, you can see that too. It's sparkly and, well, _magical. _Can I come closer? I'd love to see the details." Anna still was utterly baffled at why their parents and therefore Elsa had tried to hide Elsa's magic. To her it just was something that made Elsa even more special than she was anyway.

Elsa hesitated. "You...you can come to that column," she said, pointing with her free hand at a column about ten feet away from her. "Please don't come any closer than that." _Can Anna be right? I do think natural snowflakes are pretty..._

"Gosh, it's even prettier up close, sis!" Anna exclaimed. She stayed by the column like Elsa wanted, but she was nearly bouncing on her toes with excitement. Elsa's worried and sad expression had faded, and she was actually smiling now hearing Anna's comment. _I can totally help Elsa feel better! She's even _smiling _again, even if her eyes still look...hurt somehow. Okay, me, think. What made Elsa able to thaw her magic a little last night? She smiled, yes, but there must be something else._

"You are crazy, Anna, but I love you for it," Elsa said now, the snowflake still floating effortlessly over her hand. The blue glow of Elsa's magic shone on her face, and Anna thought her sister looked like an angel or something similar. Elsa glanced at Anna shyly. "I...I think I could experiment more if I could be far, far away from people." _There is so, so much power that "wants out"... _She worried if she let more than a tiny bit out at a time that it would just pour out of her like a flood, even if she wasn't panicking or crying at that moment.

Anna's eyes darted to Elsa's bandaged wrist. She did _not _want to let Elsa out of sight; she was terrified of Elsa making another attempt or otherwise purposely harming herself. What if she hadn't found Elsa in time? What if Elsa had done something more quickly lethal than slicing her wrist? _But Elsa's telling the truth. Of course she would be more comfortable trying to experiment if she wasn't worried about holding it back to protect me and other people. _Anna answered very carefully, thinking before she spoke for once. "Elsa, I...can't let you be alone right now. You know why. I won't risk losing you. Do you think anything else could help you be more comfortable experimenting?"

_I knew Anna would say that. _Elsa shook head no and let the snowflake fall to the floor. No matter what she said, Anna would insist on being present, and if Elsa was completely honest with herself, she knew Anna had good reason to not trust her about that. _I could promise not to...attempt that again, but that's it. I don't trust myself to promise anything else. And if I were Anna, I wouldn't trust that either. _"I'm sorry I broke my promise before," she said softly. "I...I didn't mean to. It just _happened..._"

_Oh Elsa. _"I know you are, and I sort of figured that. And I trust that you'll do your very best to keep that promise, but I still...I still can't leave you. Not unless you've got Gerda or Kai with you," Anna answered firmly. "Which doesn't help you feel better about experimenting since you'd still have a person with you. We need to come up with a plan." _I can't leave Elsa by herself right now until she feels better, but she can't really feel better unless she experiments with her magic, and she won't experiment properly with people around. _Anna bit her lip. "What if..._I _put on one of those suits of armor? Would you experiment then?"

To Anna's great surprise, Elsa looked _very _amused. "Yes, but those won't fit," she pointed out as she tugged her glove back on her bare hand. This idea was hilarious to Elsa; she could remember the two of them trying to hide in the suits of armor when they were little and making a huge mess.

Anna nodded in satisfaction. "Great. Let's go have a picnic outside. I'm going to ask Kai to get one made that FITS me. Nobody will question it because I ask for weird things all the time. I shall be the princess's knight in shining armor," she teased. Anna gently draped Elsa's heavy blanket back around her shoulders and then gave her a hug. Elsa stiffened all over but didn't jerk away.

"I want the stupid ugly gauntlets back if you are going to hug me," Elsa whispered hesitantly.

"Okay." Anna reluctantly let Elsa put them back on, but then she pulled the older girl close and hugged her again. "I'm _not _letting you feel all...lonely and horrible anymore if I can help it. Please tell me if you're feeling like you might want to, um, hurt yourself again. Maybe talking will help you feel better."

"I do not feel like that right now," Elsa said now. _I am no good with feelings, but I...I just feel _safe _right now. _With Anna's comforting arm around her shoulders, Elsa let her little sister guide her toward the kitchen, where they found Gerda.

"Elsa did good. Can we have chocolate please?" Anna announced happily. The only sign of her worry for Elsa was the tight hold she kept on Elsa's arm. Elsa didn't mind this; as long as she had her heavy blanket and the gauntlets, it would be safe for Anna to touch her.

"You two weren't upstairs anymore, so I came back here since I figured you would come here," Gerda said. She set a bowl of chocolates on the kitchen table and poured the princesses two glasses of milk.

Elsa eyed the chocolates hungrily. Like Anna, she loved chocolate too. "They look delicious. Thank you," she told Gerda.

"We went in the ballroom and Elsa made her snowflake on purpose, which was nice and really pretty. Can you get Kai to get a suit of armor made that'll actually fit me? Because we figured out that Elsa would be willing to experiment with her magic with me there if I have metal protecting me, and I don't want Elsa left alone but she won't practice properly with people around her otherwise." Anna stuffed a chocolate in her mouth and gulped some milk. "But I can't make Elsa happy again so she _can _be by herself sometimes unless we help her with her powers." She turned to Elsa and gave her another reassuring hug, worried that Elsa might somehow twist that comment to mean that Anna would abandon her or something if she felt better. "I'll _never _leave you alone though unless you want me to. Just so you know."

Elsa's shy smile told Anna all she needed to know. _I'll do my best, Anna. I promise. It...it is probably not good enough, but I shall do my very best. _She didn't move to take off the gauntlets or the blanket so she could eat the chocolate; Anna's touch and her willingness to just _hold _her was far better than some yummy chocolate. Despite the ice still wanting out, Elsa felt more in control already. _My magic still hurts a lot, but I don't feel like it's going to leak out without my permission right now, either._

"Elsa, I'm going to help Gerda pack us a picnic basket, okay? Then you can eat your chocolate without worrying about me being so close to you," Anna said.

Elsa nodded. She waited until both Anna and Gerda were a safe distance away before dropping the gauntlets to the floor and shrugging the blanket off her shoulders. Then she nibbled her share of the chocolate. _Those armor gauntlets are really uncomfortable, but if I can let Anna hug me, it's completely worth it. I don't care one bit._

* * *

Anna watched Elsa from the other side of the large kitchen, standing next to Gerda. _I wish I had found out about Elsa's magic years and years ago. Maybe if she'd had proper help after the accident she told me about, she wouldn't be all...the way she is now. _"I love Elsa, but I hate seeing her like this. And I'm scared she's going to hurt herself again. I don't wanna lose her," Anna whispered to Gerda.

"Give her some time, princess. You've already done more for that girl than you realize," Gerda said quietly. "I know Miss Elsa has been terrified all this time about your reaction if you discovered her secret, and you did not push her away for it. You instantly accepted it. That magic is linked to her emotions, and I did not see one snowflake out of her after you rescued her. Not one. Not even when I took care of her wrist, which must have hurt. You made your sister feel safe and at peace."

Elsa continued eating her chocolate snack and sipping milk, oblivious to the whispered conversation. She knew Anna and Gerda were talking, but she didn't care. Her family was there in the room, they were far enough away to be safe, but they were _there. _She glanced down at her wrist and lightly touched the bandage again. _I can't really remember Anna or Gerda taking care of it, but I do remember Anna holding me. I thought I was dreaming because I felt so oddly safe and I wasn't lonely anymore._

Anna frowned, worried that Elsa was doing something harmful to herself again, but it was clear the older girl was just thinking. Elsa looked thoughtful and while she wasn't smiling, she seemed relaxed, at least mostly. "Why couldn't Mom and Dad see that Elsa wasn't okay? Why didn't they _help _her instead of locking her in that room?" she asked, tears filling her eyes. For the seemingly thousandth time Anna wondered why their parents hadn't noticed something was very wrong. "And they lied to me!"

"Because their fear of the unknown blinded them, and your sister is very good at hiding her emotions when she chooses," Gerda said simply. "She trusts you, therefore she lets you see that she's hurting. She loved your parents but didn't trust them. They were never privy to the tears or hurt-or anger-if she could at all help it."

Anna scowled. "That's dumb."

"It's not dumb, princess, it's human. Princess Elsa knows she is meant to be queen, and she wouldn't want to show weakness in public as such. The trouble is she's taken that too far. You are the only person she might listen to."

Anna sniffled. "I just want Elsa to be happy like when we were little. Instead she...she tried to _kill _herself! What if we hadn't help her in time? What if Elsa had, like, I don't know, stabbed herself in the chest with an icicle instead or something? Or fallen on one? I mean there were like a zillion sharp icicles in there she could have done that on-no that's morbid, I'm _not _thinking about it, Elsa is right over there and she's going to be fine 'cause we're not leaving her alone ever-" Anna cut herself off when she felt eyes staring at her.

Elsa looked up toward Anna, some innate big sister sense warning that Anna was crying. _How do I help Anna? I don't know how. I can't even help myself, why would I think I can help her... _"Anna, are you okay?"

"...Yeah. Will you come outside with me now?" Anna asked hopefully. _I'm not telling her what I was thinking about. Not now._

Elsa hesitated. She did want to go outside, but what if someone saw her? _I didn't even go to the funeral... _"Anna, I...I didn't...I can't...What if someone sees me?"

"Even if someone does they'll just be happy to see the mysterious crown princess, Elsa. And seriously, if we just sit on the steps off the kitchen exit, nobody will be around but Gerda. She doesn't let anyone in her kitchen," Anna pointed out.

"Okay." Elsa let Anna lead her out the door and they sat on the kitchen steps. _Sun. Sky. _Elsa closed her eyes and tilted her face toward the sun. "I like being outside," she said softly. _I still can't feel the summer heat...I know it must be hot, but I can't tell._

Anna smiled and scooted closer to Elsa, who was a welcome coolness outside in the summer sun despite being wrapped in her heavy blanket again. "Then we will come outside every day."

**A/N: Well, Anna and Elsa haven't solved the mystery of how Elsa's magic works, but there is progress.:)**

**Yes, _we _know Elsa is capable of breaking metal, but she doesn't know it and neither does Anna, so Elsa assumes the armor gauntlets make it safe for Anna to touch her-although Anna is suspicious that Elsa's ice might be able to break through metal if she wanted it to.**

**I think one of the major reasons Elsa herself never figured out how to control her magic by herself is because not only was she always scared, she doesn't process her emotions well...I mean obviously she doesn't since she's grown up telling herself _conceal don't feel. _Anna makes her feel safe, so she lets down her guard to some extent automatically around her-which is one reason Anna instantly knows Elsa is not okay.**

**Anna is very confused by this and at this point she's just kind of decided that whatever is going on, she is _not _letting a depressed Elsa out of sight, even if she appears a little happier now . Hence her trying to figure out a way to get Elsa to experiment with someone present:) And yes, Anna is scared of losing Elsa right now, but I think that's logical.**

**Next chapter coming soon!**

**P.S. I'm going to attempt to update League of Seven this week, but I think realistically it's going to alternate weeks for updates on this story and that one. Hopefully that's okay:)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!**

**Megan Lyle-Glad you enjoyed it!:) here is the next one!**

**Elsa Tomago-I think because Anna doesn't treat Elsa any differently for her magic, that in of itself helps Elsa some. She doesn't understand it and is confused about it, but she trusts Anna and Anna knowing what happened and STILL not pushing her away makes her feel better. And we all know Elsa likes hugs; it's just that she's still scared of hurting Anna. At this point Elsa doesn't know that she's strong enough to break through metal, so she just thinks the gauntlets will protect Anna.:)**

**Protoestrella1-I'm so glad you are enjoying it!! I've had this idea for awhile and just decided to start writing it:) Yeahhh I figured that was realistic. It's far too much pressure inside for Elsa, it must hurt her. I mean it appears pretty clear to me that forcing too much magic to stay in causes her pain...that's probably what we see at the end of FTFTIF Reprise when she says "I CAN'T!" And, this is also why she has a high pain tolerance in general later on in post-Great Thaw stories that I write...Elsa is somewhat used to it. Anna is very worried for her but she also is very determined to help, and just her way of simply accepting Elsa the way she is, is already helping Elsa start to feel a little better.:) **

**Mystery-Glad you like it! Elsa's green Frozen Fever dress is sleeveless, and then Anna puts the Oaken cloaken around her at the very end since she's sick. No long sleeves there for Elsa! **

**There was no chapter for this or League of Seven last week because I was on a vacation with friends.:) I'm not satisfied with the next League of Seven chapter yet but it will be coming soon.**

**On to the story!**

Elsa found herself falling into a new routine over the next several days. Anna continued refusing to leave her alone-unless Gerda or Kai were with her-so Elsa never felt lonely anymore. She always woke up far earlier than Anna did, and those couple hours in the mornings gave her much needed alone time and quiet to do any necessary paperwork. _I hate being lonely but I like having a little bit of time by myself all the same._

When Anna woke up they ate breakfast at Elsa's desk, and then Anna made her go outside for a few minutes. After that they would go back upstairs and Elsa cleaned her room. With Anna spending so much time in it, it seemed to mysteriously get messy, which Elsa did not like but was still amused by. Elsa did work if need be until lunchtime (Anna usually let Gerda sit with Elsa then, because she knew Elsa wanted quiet while she was working) and then Anna took her back downstairs.

Today Anna said she had a special surprise for Elsa after lunch, and she looked hopefully at Elsa for a reaction. Elsa only stared curiously at her and did not start bouncing on her toes or anything like Anna might. "Well, come upstairs with me! I can't wait to show you."

Elsa stayed quiet but eagerly followed Anna upstairs and toward Anna's room. "Your room...?"

"No, close your eyes!" Anna grabbed Elsa's arm the second she was sure Elsa wasn't peeking, which made Elsa yelp, and tugged her into one of the guest rooms. "Okay now you can look!"

Elsa blinked in surprise. The room was utterly unrecognizable as what she remembered this guest room to look like when she was little. Anna had stripped the room bare of its furniture aside from a metal table and two chairs that looked like they belonged in a forge or workshop. An old looking book lay on the table, and Elsa recognized it as the one their father had had the map to visit the trolls in. Elsa stiffened. _Anna thinks I am going to practice my magic in here, _the realization flooded through her head. The closer she looked, the more certain she was about that.

There was winter-themed artwork all over one wall and in the center Anna had put up a portrait that had been done when they were very small-Anna was clearly barely a toddler and little Elsa was holding her.

Elsa bit her lip and pressed her fingers against the still-healing wound on her wrist. _What on earth is Anna thinking?! I shouldn't be- _Elsa's blue eyes snapped to Anna's when she felt Anna gently tugging her hand away from her yet again. "I'm sorry, I'm just...shocked. And. I don't know why-"

"That's okay. I just am not letting you hurt yourself any more. You're gonna make it take forever to heal, Elsa," Anna scolded, but she just sounded worried. She had quickly noticed that Elsa tended to pick at or otherwise mess with the injury whenever she was thinking that she shouldn't feel better or something similar. "You do want it to go away, right?"

Elsa nodded. That was true; she didn't want to see that reminder any longer. She figured it would probably scar, but at least it would be mostly gone. Anna was there for her now whether she deserved it or not, and she wanted to be okay if anything just for Anna's sake. "I don't want to see it anymore," she said honestly. "Anna...where did you get that book?"

"Mom and Dad's room. Yes, I went snooping. There was stuff about rock trolls and somebody named Ingrid in it. And that map. Who's Ingrid, Elsa?" Anna asked. "Are we related to her? I didn't read the whole thing because I wanted to do it together with you."

"I...don't know." _That's my middle name. Is that a coincidence? _Elsa wrung her hands nervously. "I really do not want to look at that book, Anna," she admitted. "I'm scared of the trolls. They made Papa take you away." Frost crackled under her feet, and she instantly backed away from Anna. "I'm sorry, I swear I'm trying to-"

Anna thought Elsa sounded far too much like a frightened child, which, she supposed, was basically true for her emotionally. _Elsa hasn't had any contact with someone close to her own age in ten years. She's going to be fine. This is normal. I just have to help her. _"Elsa, it's fine. You can let it out," she interrupted.

"But I'm not _letting _it out, it's leaking without my permission!" Elsa closed her eyes and concentrated on forcing the ice to obey her. The frost didn't spread further, but it didn't dissolve, either. _Come on, Elsa, make it listen. Do it for Anna._

Anna answered instantly. "Then it's just a mistake. It's still fine. I saw your pretty sketches on your wall, you know. That building looked sort of like it was up on the North Mountain. Do you want to take a trip up there sometime soon?" Anna asked gently.

Elsa nearly jumped out of her skin. _Anna knows I have wanted to go there. _Rather than give a straight answer, she stared at the old portrait of herself and Anna as children and said, "I can't. The gates are closed."

"So what? I can understand you not wanting to open them to our public until we figure this out, but we could just go ourselves if we want." Anna hoped Elsa would agree. "It would be fun to take a trip with just you!"

_Fun to take a trip with just me? _Elsa shook her head. "It is not that, actually. I don't have any authority of my own until I turn twenty-one. I cannot change or repeal laws our parents made until then, even if I wanted to." She gave Anna a sad smile. "You must know that. I'm sure you have seen me sign things the last few days. I don't sign 'Queen Elsa of Arendelle', I sign 'Crown Princess Elsa of Arendelle on behalf of the late King Agdar and Queen Idun' or something similar."

"That's silly. Everyone knows Mom and Dad are, you know, um, dead!"

"It's meant to prevent underage heirs from going on a power trip or ruining the country because he or she isn't ready to handle their responsibilities yet. Imagine if our parents died when we were small children. Then Kai would handle things and I would sign my name to documents. I'm old enough I can do most things alone, luckily, but that is why that law exists." Elsa felt surprised that she had spoken that much about it, but talking to Anna wasn't scary to her. Anna never got mad and scolded her even when displeased with something she'd done, and she always seemed happy to see her. It was just she preferred to stay quiet unless she had something to say.

"But Elsa, who the heck would force you to do a thing? You're still the highest ranking person of authority in Arendelle," Anna pointed out. _What does Elsa think, that people would, like, kill her or something if she opened the gates?_

"I won't dishonor Arendelle's laws and traditions just to make myself feel better, Anna. Goodness knows I don't have any love from the public or our allies. It will look horrible. I didn't-_couldn't-_even go to the funeral. No one has seen me in ten years. Forget the possibility everyone might want to kill the mysterious sick witch girl if they found out what's wrong with me." Elsa's voice was quiet as usual, but she just sounded resigned and firm, not upset or otherwise worried. "I will not risk throwing my country into chaos by something like that happening." _And that is the truth. My job I can handle, at least the written parts. No one needs to know their queen is...like me._

"They wouldn't hurt you because of your magic! And also people at the funeral just kept asking me where you've been. They were just concerned..." Anna trailed off as she remembered one not-so-nice conversation that she'd overheard but forgotten until just now. _'Great, now we have a teenager we've never seen for a decade in charge. I wonder what's wrong with her.' 'Who cares, she should just get married and let an adult take care of things.' _At the time Anna had been mostly focused on Being Mature And Put-Together and worrying about missing Elsa at home and wanting her mommy and daddy back. Now Anna found herself wondering if pessimistic Elsa had a point.

"_All _of them? I don't believe it," Elsa said now, shaking her head. "Dad taught me since I was old enough to read that no ruler will ever have the support of every single citizen. It's just impossible. That has nothing to do with who the person is. Forget what is wrong with me, I could be a normal girl and some people still would not want me to rule. You know that." She hesitated before adding, "Also, not everyone is as accepting as you are. I feel like I could be some huge blue ice monster with three heads and you still would care about me."

Anna couldn't help laughing at that mental picture of skinny ethereal fairy-looking human Elsa being such a thing. Elsa was taller than Anna, but she definitely wasn't _that _tall. "Oh Elsa!"

Elsa didn't laugh. "It's true. Please just...be serious for a moment. Imagine if you're a merchant or shop owner making money for their family. You find out the new queen of your country that no one has seen for a decade is a young single girl with strange ice powers she can't control. What would you think? It could ruin us financially if no one wants to do business with Arendelle because of me." Elsa looked down at her hands and balled them into fists. _I might have attempted to kill myself, but I don't want to die because my public hates me. That I do know. _"Anna, I...not only do I have a responsibility to keep Arendelle safe and peaceful, I...I don't want to be killed by a mob or something. That thought terrifies me. And I...I still feel like I want to die sometimes, but I _do _feel much better than when you rescued me. That is the truth."

Anna instinctively hugged Elsa, which made her yelp and jerk away. "Oh I'm sorry, Elsa, here," she said quickly, draping the blanket over Elsa's shoulders and letting her put those gauntlets back on before hugging her again. This time Elsa stayed calm and sat beside Anna on the floor, contentedly leaning against her little sister's shoulder. _Elsa really really loves hugs, but she's still so scared of hurting me, _Anna thought, but she just kept a tight hold on Elsa, hoping it would help her feel safer. "I won't let anything happen to you. If someone wants to hurt you I'll, I don't know, they will have to go through me and I'll kill them first if I have to."

"You'll _what_?!" Elsa sounded horrified.

Anna held Elsa tighter. "You're my big sister and I won't lose you again. I'll do anything to protect you." Now nearly a week after Elsa's suicide attempt, Anna was still only too aware of how close she had come to losing Elsa, and it felt a little surreal that Elsa was _there _right next to her and she was holding Elsa, even if Elsa wasn't completely okay. At least she could give Elsa a reason to be happier. "And really, I don't know how to do that anyhow but you can be sure I would do my best to keep you safe."

Elsa snuggled further down into her heavy blanket and scooted closer to Anna. _Oh Anna. Of course you said that. _"I can think of lots of ways," she said quite matter-of-factly. "One being the lit fuse you insist on caring for."

"You're not a lit fuse or a killer, Elsa. Don't say that." Anna was clearly upset, and she gave the cool bundle in her arms another squeeze. _If __Elsa _really _believed that, I bet she would make me leave her alone again. So that's good that she just parrots things she's been thinking for ages._

_"..._That gives me an idea, actually," Elsa replied, as if she hadn't heard anything Anna just said. _I wonder if I could burn the magic out somehow. It's ice. It should hate fire._

"What's that?" Anna asked suspiciously. Elsa was eyeing the unlit fireplace, and Anna frowned. _Is she considering trying to somehow light a fire and...burn her magic away? Can she even _do _that...? _"You better not be thinking what I think you're thinking! What are you thinking about doing?"

"I'm not thinking about hurting myself, I swear," Elsa said softly. "I want to be safe for you to be around without all the...precautions..." _Elsa if you really believed this would work you would have tried long ago. Right?_

"Elsa, assuming I'm right and you want to get rid of your magic using fire somehow, that _is _hurting yourself! Your powers are part of you, you told me so. You can't burn away part of yourself without getting hurt!" Anna was angry now, and she jumped to her feet and began pacing.

Elsa looked right at angry Anna, nonplussed at her little sister's outburst. Anna was not angry with her; she was just angry that Elsa has suggested getting rid of the magic in a questionable way. "But if it _worked, _it would be worth whatever the cost was," she said. Elsa oddly felt as if the ice inside her knew what she was planning and did not like it one bit. The magic felt more on edge than usual. _Don't you dare mess up my plans, ice, I don't want you anymore, _she thought viciously. _I hate it. I hate it so much, and I hate myself for not being strong enough to control it._

"No it's not! You have no idea what would happen and neither do I! I don't care if you can't feel temperatures anymore, you have got normal human skin and you're gonna get hurt! Besides how the heck are you planning this anyway? The magic is inside you, not outside of you like a bug exo...ec...exoskeleton or something." Anna gestured wildly as she spoke.

Elsa only stared with that impassive expression Anna hated. "Let me try and if it starts hurting me I will stop," she suggested.

"How do I know you won't claim it's not hurting you when it really is?"

"..." Elsa thought she would just try late at night after fussy Anna went to sleep. "Well, I wouldn't expect it to feel _good, _but I meant I wouldn't just sit and let myself burn."

"I do believe you, Elsa, but I can't support you trying to literally remove part of who you are," Anna told her in a calmer voice. _What if it killed her? I just cannot believe Elsa can "lose" her magic. If there was a way I think Mom and Dad would have gotten rid of it. _"Would you cut off a limb or something on purpose? Of course not. That's the same thing because your magic is part of you, same as the rest of you."

"I would if it got rid of the magic," Elsa mumbled to herself. _I hate it. I want to be normal like Anna, and I'm so so tired of trying unsuccessfully to control it._

_"_Oh no, you will not," Anna retorted instantly. _Elsa's crazy. Why the heck would she say-but I _do _know why. A missing limb wouldn't make her "dangerous" anymore. So she thinks that's a good trade. Ugh. _She sat back down next to Elsa and put a protective arm around her shoulders. Elsa flinched in surprise but then stayed put and just closed her eyes. Anna touched one of Elsa's gauntlets and was surprised to find the metal not freezing to touch. _That confirms it in my mind. Things on Elsa's hands don't prevent her from using her magic. It works because she believes it will. If it actually worked the metal should be freezing cold from forcing all Elsa's ice to stay in._

"Anna, why are you doing-hey, you stop that!" Elsa impulsively scrambled away when Anna touched her bare arm and then reached to touch the metal gauntlet again. She stayed standing on the opposite side of the room, staring warily at her little sister, her blanket around her shoulders like a cape.

"Your skin isn't naturally freezing unless you freak out. You do kind of have a...a bubble of cool air around you though that's, like, hovering a couple inches over your skin. Maybe that has something to do with why you can't feel temperatures. Those metal gauntlets aren't cold either. Which means they are not literally keeping your magic in. _You _are." Anna paused before adding, "I'm sorry I scared you, but I was testing something and if I told you beforehand you wouldn't have let me do it."

"...A bubble of cool air?" Elsa was intrigued by Anna's theory. _But I don't do that consciously. I don't understand. Is that my magic's way of forcing me to use it a tiny bit since I cannot see nor sense that? Is it trying to protect me from something that could hurt me, like too much heat since I can't feel it? That's...disturbing. Yet that doesn't sound harmful or dangerous, either._

"Yeah. I can't tell through your blanket barrier at all when you let me hug you, but when I touched your bare arm, I could. Maybe it's trying to protect you somehow?" Anna suggested. "Like maybe it's keeping you from overheating because it's hot outside? Or, like, helping your body temperature stay normal?"

"I don't think I _have _a normal body temperature," Elsa said quietly.

"Sure you do. It's probably just a little lower than somebody's that doesn't have magic. Maybe since you can't really control it again yet, it's trying to keep you from getting sick if you can't regulate your body temperature very well. Or something. I don't know. But it must have some meaning to it, don't you think?" Anna said hopefully.

Elsa only shrugged. _I don't know. That does make sense, but I still just wish I could be like Anna._

_...I'll try tonight. Maybe I can get rid of it and surprise Anna._

* * *

Elsa silently slipped out of her room late that night and tiptoed to the room Anna had set up for her to practice in. Here there was nothing she could ruin should something go wrong, and there was plenty of firewood in here, too. She glanced back at the open door and closed it; then reconsidered and opened it again. Then she quickly stacked firewood into the fireplace and used her candle to light it. _Okay, Elsa. Make this work._

The ice stirred uneasily inside, as if it knew what its owner wanted to do to it. Elsa ignored this.

"Okay, Elsa, come on," she muttered to herself. "This has to work." Elsa looked at the painting of Anna and herself as small kids. _I have to be safe for Anna._

Elsa slowly reached one hand toward the fire crackling merrily. _Elsa what are you doing? If this _does _work, you can't undo it._

_Exactly. That's the point. _She scrunched her eyes shut and plunged her hand into the flames, expecting the long forgotten pain of touching something hot to hit her, but...there was nothing. Elsa opened one eye and then the other. _What the...? _The fire was still going strong, but it was as if there was nothing there. She couldn't feel a thing, and there was no sign of her pale skin burning whatsoever, nor any sensation on the inside of her magic weakening. If anything it was just tingling stronger than normal in her palms, and the flames bent around her hand, blue sparks pulsing from her palm. _What is that? Why can't I at least feel it?_

"Seriously?! Not _anything_?!" Elsa threw more wood on the fire and closed her eyes again, shoving down the frustrated and angry feelings. _Anna said I had to be happy and calm to control it, right? I'm happy I have Anna back, I'm not panicking and freaking out right now._

_I love her. I love my little sister and Gerda and Kai and my country. I want to protect them._

Elsa yelped and instinctively jerked backwards a split second later, accidentally knocking a flaming piece of wood out of the fire place and onto the floor.

* * *

Anna woke up in Elsa's nice cool room, somehow sensing that something was not quite right. "Oh no," she muttered sleepily. _Elsa's gone! What could she be doing in the middle of the night? Wait...her stupid idea earlier...no. No no no. Maybe she just went to the bathroom. _Fumbling around in the dark, Anna lit the kerosene lamp on Elsa's nightstand. _I smell smoke. What is going on?_

In a flash Anna was out of bed and in the hall with a blanket over her arm, light forgotten in Elsa's room. She saw an eerie glow down the hall and she ran towards it, her heart in her stomach. "Elsa! What are you-"

_"_Don't come in here! Please don't!" _Stay back, I don't know what I've done! I shouldn't have tried this. _Elsa was terrified now, and not because of her magic this time, either. One log out of the fireplace and the flames had spread in seconds. At first Elsa had thought, _no big deal, I'll beat it out with the rug, _but there was no rug, and she could _feel _the heat now and this was bad heat not the nice heat from Anna and it was _spreading _and how the heck was she going to stop the mess she had started, forget the fact that it was hurting her.

"Oh my gosh. Oh gosh. Elsa, get out of there, now!" Anna covered her mouth and nose with the corner of the blanket and tried going in herself. Elsa was standing in the middle of the room staring at the fire, her icy blue eyes clearly pained and frightened. "Put the fire out! Put it out with your magic! Do it! Come on, Elsa. You must have figured _something _out because-"

Ice crackled over the floor slowly. Elsa coughed and stumbled, but she kept her focus on Anna. _What if I let the magic out and it makes a mess?_

_Elsa you have already made a mess and fire is even more destructive than ice. You could burn your home if you don't do something, _she thought desperately. The magic did want to help. That Elsa thought she could feel, somewhere past the heat and burning and the smoke and _there was Anna in the doorway. _If she didn't do something Anna would come in and burn up trying to get to her. She loved Anna. She was not scared for herself, only Anna.

"Elsa, close your eyes and do it!" Anna's voice was muffled in the blanket, but Elsa heard her. "You can do it!"

_I can do this. I am not _sure _if I can thaw it back, but I can stop the fire. _On some instinct deep within her Elsa stamped her foot, and instantly ice spread over the floor and crackled up the walls, putting out the fire, leaving only smoke behind. She turned toward the fireplace to see what was left, but she stumbled and fell.

Anna impulsively ran over to Elsa, skidding on the ice, which she _knew _was still spreading into the hall. "Come on, Elsa, please be okay," she muttered. She cringed when she realized Elsa's nightgown was still burning and quickly smothered that with the blanket. Moonlight streamed in the window brightly enough to see what she was doing, but not enough to know the extent of the damage to the room or Elsa herself.

Elsa coughed again and curled into a ball. _Anna. I put it out. Anna is safe. I didn't get rid of the powers, but I...I did figure something out. I can feel it. I know so because the flames started hurting me. Does love thaw _and _I have to be happy and calm for it to work? _She scrunched her eyes shut and concentrated on thawing the ice. Though now she was hurting a _lot, _Anna was there now and the fire was gone and she was no longer scared. She could be happy. And one thing that horrible botched experiment had shown her was that some bit of her still didn't want to lose her magic and had hope that she could be like she was when she was small again.

"I love you, Elsa. Just the way you are. Please don't try this again. You're perfectly good enough already. Your magic is pretty. See, it _helped."_

_No wonder it did not go right. I have to accept that...this is me. Surely if Anna can love me, I can live and be happy for her sake. _Elsa sensed the ice being more at peace now, and it slowly but surely obeyed her command to thaw. She did not try to pull away this time when Anna hugged her, even though she didn't have her gauntlets.

"Elsa, are you all right?" Anna asked hesitantly.

_I think I'm going to pass out. _Elsa nodded against Anna's shoulder and didn't move. "I...I'm not...scared, now," she whispered. "Ice...listened."

"Well, that's good, but..." Anna paused and bit her lip. "Let's go back to your room, okay? I can't see in here." She tried to help Elsa stand up, but she made a pained noise and would have collapsed if Anna hadn't been holding her. _Okay. Fine. Elsa did something stupid and hurt herself, but at least she wasn't TRYING to do that this time. I'll fuss at her later. _Anna finally just scooped Elsa up and carried her back to bed.

Elsa was clearly hurt-she had burns on her arms and legs, and she kept coughing-but she was also much happier than she had been before. Elsa's lopsided smile and the fact that she was mostly relaxed despite Anna touching her told Anna that.

That and the fact that the ice all over that room and the hallway and who knew where else was thawing. It wasn't even leaving puddles behind. "You figured out how to thaw your ice," Anna said gently.

Elsa's smile grew bigger. _My plan didn't do what it was supposed to, but it still helped. "_Told you...it...would work," she deadpanned. _I have Anna right here and I need practice, but...I can thaw the ice. If I can thaw the ice I can control it. _Elsa gave a shuddering sigh before letting her tired body give in and passing out.

"...Elsa?" Anna started to panic when she didn't get a reaction. _Those burns don't look bad enough to make Elsa pass out. She almost just looks horridly sunburned, not like she was in that fire. What's going on? Does it have something to do with Elsa's magic? Is she just really tired or...? _Anna jumped when a sharp knock sounded on the doorframe. "Oh hi. I thought guards didn't come in the private quarters anymore," she said nervously. _Elsa's not going to be happy if more people find out about her magic, but. Um. Now what?_

"I thought there was a fire. You were shouting, and one of the guards on the wall lookout reported seeing flames in an upstairs window," the guard said, clearly puzzled. He held up his lantern and squinted at something in the hall. "Is this..._ice_?"

"Um. We sort of had an accident but my sister was able to put it out," Anna said carefully. _I should let Elsa explain about her magic herself, right...? _"Can you please get us some help?"

"...of course, Princess Anna." The guard turned to leave then looked back at the princesses. "Princess Elsa put out the fire alone? Where did she get enough water?"

Anna shifted nervously from one foot to the other. "Get us help," she ordered finally, "Elsa's hurt."

The guard nodded politely and left. Anna sighed in relief and turned her focus back to Elsa, who immediately opened her eyes and smiled at her once she could no longer hear guard footsteps. "Thank goodness. Oh gosh Elsa, you scared me. You just _passed out _and I was worried you might die or something and-"

"Anna," Elsa interrupted. "I'll be fine." She coughed again but was able to give Anna a reassuring smile. _I'm still not sure what happened, but my powers feel different. _Unlike before, Elsa didn't just feel the horrible unpleasant pressure of forcing her magic to stay inside that genuinely hurt her, she also felt a cool sensation just flowing through her. _Well, I know one thing. I am positive, absolutely positive, that I cannot lose my magic. I have Anna here with me now, so I think I can accept that._

Anna scowled. "You always say you're fine. I don't believe you. Elsa, please be honest. I'm not going to make a fuss, okay maybe I will a little, but I won't act all...weird."

"I'm fine. Better than fine. This hurt is...normal. The abnormal Elsa feels better," Elsa said quietly. "It's not like the...other feeling of holding the ice in." _That's the truth. I still have to find some way to let all this ice out, but it's not...horrible and out of control anymore. Please understand, Anna._

Anna still was not happy with Elsa's explanation, but she could understand it. "I think I understand, but please don't call your magic abnormal. You're perfect just like you are," she said firmly.

"I'm _not _normal," Elsa pointed out unnecessarily, and she closed her eyes, concentrating on the ice inside. _Do the magic for Anna, Elsa. Make her happy._

"Oh wow! Oh Elsa he's so cute!" Anna exclaimed in surprise. A small misshapen snowman that looked exactly like the Olafs Anna remembered building outside appeared on the floor next to Anna. _Did we build Olafs in the ballroom and not outside...? _"You made an Olaf!" She impulsively hugged Elsa tightly.

Elsa yelped half in surprise and half in pain. Snowflakes floated around her and Anna, but the ice stayed in where she wanted it. _I don't care what happens now. Not even if I have to feel like this all the time. _"Thank y-you, Anna. I think...I think you fixed me," she whispered.

"Oh Elsa!"

* * *

The next morning, Anna woke up first for once, despite spending most of the rest of the night staying awake to keep an eye on Elsa. She'd finally fallen asleep curled up next to Elsa, who stayed sleeping peacefully with a small smile on her face after they had gotten the burns treated. _"_You're going to be fine, Elsa," she whispered now. Anna yawned and grabbed an extra blanket to wrap around cautious Elsa before flopping back down and wrapping an arm around her.

Elsa gave a contented sigh and subconsciously moved closer to Anna, her hands still folded close against her chest. _I feel so warm, _she thought sleepily. For once the magic was mostly calm. _Do I need to make Anna leave...no. No I don't. I thawed my ice last night! _"So warm. Happy," she mumbled. The sense of warmth was something she had missed dearly for so long. Now it was back, and Elsa thought she would gladly take the pain of being burned if that meant she could also feel the warmth that made her feel so safe.

"Good." Anna wished her sister wasn't hurt, but Elsa was happy and she had not messed up her magic-the opposite had happened, despite her original intentions. _I wonder if I convince Elsa to go to wherever the rock trolls live, could they heal her burns? Elsa said they healed me when I was little..._

"...Anna?"

"Yeah?" Anna was very glad Elsa sounded more like her usual self now than she had the night before.

"I don't really feel well, but I'm so happy. Maybe...relieved, too?" Elsa wasn't sure how to describe the way she felt at the moment, but she knew quite well that this was _good _emotions, and not all of the negative ones that usually bombarded her.

"I'm glad you're happy. Very." Anna hesitated before asking, "Won't you go visit those rock trolls with me? You said they healed me. Maybe they can heal your burns. I mean they're not _too _horrible, it barely looks worse than a super bad sunburn, but still. I don't want you hurting for ages while they heal. And I want little me's memories of your magic back."

Elsa stiffened and pulled away, but she did turn over and look at Anna. _Anna, why did you have to ask that? _"I don't know if those creatures can do either of those things," she said quietly. "I do not want to see them, either."

"But Elsa, we won't know if we don't ask. Maybe they have something to help you with your magic, too. To make it easier for you to practice using it?" Anna hesitated; Elsa had closed her eyes again and a tear ran down her cheek. "What's wrong? Please tell me."

"...Get away from me. It's not s-safe right now." _Come on, Elsa, get it together. You knew last night wasn't an instant fix. Why are you disappointed? _Elsa tried to focus on keeping her magic inside, but she knew there were probably still snowflakes floating around her.

Anna sighed, but she did hop off the bed and go over near the door. "Okay, I moved, Elsa, but you are just making snowflakes. Those aren't dangerous. They're pretty," she said firmly. "Can't you tell me what's bothering you?"

Elsa sat up and stared through her tears at Anna. _Just tell her. If she leaves, she leaves. No, Anna won't leave me. She promised. _"Why would the trolls have anything to _help _me when last time, they just...scared our parents and me? I don't want to take you there! They might hurt you too!"

"Okay okay, we don't have to. It's just an idea. Elsa, please try to think about something that makes you happy. Please?" Anna hesitated before adding, "I just don't want you to be hurting anymore. I thought maybe you'd be extra sensitive to burns since your magic has to do with cold things."

"This I can deal with. I can't deal with you being hurt." Elsa's voice was calmer now, but her big blue eyes still betrayed how she really felt. _I don't want to worry Anna even more. Stop crying, Elsa. Stop it stop it stop it. _"Get it together, Elsa. Control it. Don't feel don't feel. Stop crying," she muttered to herself.

Anna edged a few steps closer. "It's okay to cry, Elsa. That don't feel nonsense isn't helping you. I know you know that. Especially after last night."

"I don't...d-don't want to worry you more than I already have."

"Crying is _normal. _Not letting yourself cry is what's worrying. Please, Elsa, just...let yourself feel. Stop trying to hold all your emotions in like they're bad. You can't not feel. Actually, I think you're a very sensitive emotional person and you just don't know how to handle it properly." Anna came closer and sat on the edge of Elsa's bed, but still didn't try to touch her yet. "I'm here now, Elsa. I promise. I'm not going to abandon you just because you're different. Never ever. That's horrid and mean. I just need you to tell me what you need me to do to help you better. And like, stuff you want. Even if it seems to you like something silly or small and not really necessary."

Elsa didn't move closer, but she seemed to relax a little. _Anna thinks me crying is normal. She loves me even...like this. I do trust her, I just...don't understand why she still cares. That doesn't matter. It just matters that she is here with me. I can't change me, so I have to figure out how to live properly. _"I...I want..." Elsa's quiet voice trailed off. How could she tell Anna what she _needed _or _wanted_? Nobody listened before; why would it be any different now. _It's Anna. It's Anna, not Mom and Dad. That is what is different._

Anna smiled encouragingly at her. "Yes...? I'm listening. Go ahead."

"I...I want to make a chocolate cake with you," Elsa blurted after a moment.

Anna nodded. _Well that wasn't exactly what I meant but it's a start. _"Okay. We can do that anytime you like once you're better."

"I can walk downstairs if I want to," Elsa said shyly, studying the bandages for the burns on her legs. "It doesn't hurt too much now."

"...are you just saying that or is it really true?" Anna asked suspiciously.

Elsa sighed and pulled the comforter back over her legs. "Fine, it hurts, but I can go downstairs, it won't kill me." She noticed Anna's sad expression at that comment and tried to backtrack. "I'm sorry. Bad choice of words." _Everything I say is wrong. I hurt Anna again because I made her sad._ Elsa's slender shoulders drooped and she looked away.

Anna reached to give Elsa's shoulder a squeeze, and Elsa flinched but didn't pull away. "You don't need to apologize, Elsa. It's all right." _I wanna just hug Elsa and...heal her. It's like everything she was hiding that was hurting her is flooding out. Gerda said Elsa trusted me. I should be happy Elsa's willing to let me see her pain. But I don't want to see her like this. Is that selfish? No it's not, that's normal, she's my big sister, of course I don't want to see her hurting. _Anna pulled Elsa's blanket around her shoulders and hugged the older girl tightly, burying her face in Elsa's shoulder. _Please get better, Elsa. You have to. I can't lose you again._

Elsa's first reaction was instinctive. She stiffened and tried to pull away. But Anna just held on tighter, and Elsa felt the pressured sad ice calm under Anna's warmth. It would not come out without her permission; she was strong enough to force it to stay inside. Elsa awkwardly patted Anna's shoulder and then snatched her hand back, as if she thought something awful would happen if she touched Anna, despite her gloves. "An...Anna? I...I don't know what to s-say to help, but I...I'm here." _That must be the right thing to say. Anna says it to me and it helps._

_Elsa actually touched me trying to help _me. _She's trying so hard. _Anna's heart broke for Elsa, who was trying her best to help even though she didn't know how. She pulled away enough that she could see Elsa's concerned face. "I'm okay, Elsa. I'm scared of losing you, so you saying you're here does help," Anna assured her.

Elsa's expression lit up. "I helped?!"

Anna thought Elsa looked a bit like an excited child just then, but she didn't tell her sister that. She would just let Elsa be happy. "Do the magic now, sis. We know it works better for you when you're happy and that love thaws somehow...just we're not sure of the specifics. We'll have to experiment and see what works best."

"...Are you sure?" _Elsa, you know Anna is sure. She _likes _the magic. You know that. _Elsa shook her head hard. "Okay. I will."

**A/N: If it's not already clear, Elsa's _very _close to the real breakthrough...and her magic 'knows' it, hence ceasing to make her unable to feel temperatures. The fire experiment is also food for thought-what if Elsa could figure out how to consciously make her magic protect her from fire? (Anna's reasonings that Elsa's powers are just trying their best to protect their owner is pretty spot on. If Elsa gets too hot she'll be sick, and the ice makes her body temperature all over the place when she's upset...her magic is simply trying to keep her healthy, but since Elsa isn't cooperating with it, that makes for some odd reactions, like not being able to feel any temperatures whatsoever.)**

**Next chapter coming soon!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/U: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**Elsa Tomago~ I'm glad you enjoyed it! Elsa is very very close to the key "clicking" for her. So that will happen very soon.:) **

**DDLover2019~ Oh yes, Elsa will figure it out long before her coronation. She has Anna with her, and Anna LIKES Elsa's magic on top of simply being kind and understanding to her. And yep, Anna will pose that suggestion at some point directly to Elsa, but not quite yet. Soon though!**

**On to the story!**

"Come on, Elsa, try again!" Anna said excitedly, her voice slightly muffled in her armor helmet. She knew she must look ridiculous, but her idea to get a suit of armor made that actually fit her meant Elsa was willing to experiment with her magic much more freely around her. Besides, it was fun pretending to be the princess's guarding knight.

A few days had passed since the fire incident, and Elsa seemed _much _more at ease since then. She smiled a little more and her countenance didn't have that constant fear in it that Anna hated. The burns were slowly healing-Elsa jokingly called herself an ice lobster, which her little sister had not been particularly thrilled about, but at least she was happy enough to make jokes in the first place. "Try what again?" Elsa asked now.

"Making the snowflake appear and dissolve again. You can do it!" Anna was still a little puzzled by what exactly let Elsa thaw things that she made with her magic. Obviously it didn't require her to be _happy_, because she knew quite well Elsa's suicidal thoughts hadn't totally disappeared, but it seemed to function better when Elsa felt better also. That and the fact that the last two nights, Elsa had woken up screaming from nightmares she refused to talk about, but all her magic had done was cover the floor in a layer of soft powdery snow, and then she'd moved and slept in the corner the rest of the night with those dumb gauntlets and wrapped in a blanket. _At least she didn't make me leave the room, I guess... _In the morning the snow had completely disappeared, and Elsa looked peaceful.

_What if it doesn't work this time? I don't want to disappoint Anna. I love her and she accepts me. _Elsa looked at armored Anna, awkwardly bouncing on her toes, and she smiled a bit. She would not disappoint her excited little sister again if she could help it. "I'll try my best."

"That's plenty good enough for me, Elsa. Always," came Anna's instant reply. She took off the helmet so the older girl could see her face. "Don't you ever let somebody tell you otherwise. Ever."

Elsa looked down at her feet, away from Anna's intense gaze. _But it is not good enough if I make mistakes. Never. _"...May I ask you something? Please? And promise you'll be honest, don't hold back to...to protect me somehow." Elsa's soft voice was barely a whisper.

"Of course."

"What would...w-would our parents think? If they s-saw me now? You _know _I'm not supposed to...be around you, but I...I don't want you to go away again. You make it...easier. To keep going. I feel..." Elsa struggled to find the words to express herself verbally. Writing important things on paper was simple. Describing feelings out loud felt nearly impossible.

Anna smiled encouragingly. "It's okay, Elsa, go ahead. I'm listening."

"I...I don't feel like a numb, sick...blob just existing. I feel like...like I can look forward to tomorrow, because you will be there to help." Elsa scowled and swiped at her eyes. "I'm _not _sad right now, I swear. I don't want to cry." _What is going on? I don't understand...me. The ice isn't even leaking all over. I can feel those snowflakes floating around me, but that's it._

"Well, firstly, our parents are not here, so it really doesn't matter. They can't separate us again. But secondly...Elsa, you have got to recognize that no matter whether they'd approve or not, keeping you locked in that room was NOT okay. They-"

"They were protecting you!"

Anna continued as if Elsa hadn't interrupted. "They were trying to protect me, and in the process they ended up hurting you. That's not okay. An innocent mistake would be if they'd separated us and then realized a few days-or weeks!-later that it was a very bad choice. Not ten years, Elsa. I know you're more open with me and Gerda than you were with Mom and Dad, but it's still no excuse for what they did to you. And me too, cause I really really missed you! I don't think they wanted to see that something was wrong. I'm sure if they somehow came back and saw that you were genuinely much happier now and are much better at controlling your powers-_controlling _them, not _concealing _them-they'd understand."

Elsa's body seemed to wilt at the idea that their parents might come back somehow. _Do I tell Anna? How can I admit that to her? She promised, Elsa. She promised not to leave you. Just tell her. It was just a dream. Maybe she can help. _"That...that nightmare last night. Mama and Papa came back and took you away again," she blurted, her eyes screwed shut.

Anna wiggled out of her armored knight persona and let it clank on the floor. By the time she got to Elsa, the older girl was clearly panicking; Elsa was breathing hard, the room had gotten quite chilly, and snowflakes swirled around her. Anna snatched Elsa's heavy blanket from the table and just wrapped her up in it, holding her tightly. "It's okay. You're safe now. Not alone. Think about the nice hot chocolate we had last night in the library. Warm and cozy." She rubbed Elsa's shoulder, trying to give Elsa something to ground her again. "We're safe now. Breathe, Elsa. Nice and slow, okay?"

Elsa thought Anna sounded very far away, but she could feel the warmth all the same. _Wait, Anna's touching me! It's not safe right now! She needs to get away from me! _But any struggles she made to get away only made Anna hold on tighter. _I can't let it hurt her. I can't. What would Mom and Dad think?_

_That's why you can't have Anna near you. You're dangerous. You'll hurt her._

_"Elsa, what have you done?"_

_I'm trying. I'm trying so hard and it's not good enough. It's never good enough._

_Anna said it was. She didn't care._

_That's because she doesn't understand the danger. You're going to explode, Elsa. You are going to end up hurting the only person who's ever really seen you and loved you anyways._

"-sa, please. I don't know how to help. You're scaring me." Anna's words broke into Elsa's racing thoughts.

_Of course you're scaring her. You're a worthless monster, _the 'other' Elsa told her viciously. Then another thought struck her in an instant, clear as a bell.

_Anna is still holding me. _Her little sister hadn't left her, scared or not, and she was trying to help. People did not help things they thought were monsters or worthless. Therefore Anna must not think that, even if she was scared of her.

Elsa jerked herself away forcefully and turned her back to let a little of the horrible icy pressure inside out. It was starting to hurt too much for her to hold in, the pressure building up far too much because of the panic attack. She let her legs buckle under her and just sat on the now-icy floor, breathing hard. _I'm okay. I did not hurt Anna. ...Did I? "_Are...are you okay?"

Anna knelt about an arm's length from Elsa, making sure Elsa could see what she was doing. "Yes. You didn't hurt me. Elsa, you do know I'm not scared _of _you, right? I was just scared _for _you. You were freaking out really bad and I didn't know what to do." Anna was reassured that the older girl was thinking more clearly again when she looked up and slowly nodded. "Does more ice need to come out? You're looking at me clearly, but you're shaking, I see frost on your hands and that blanket, and you look like you're in pain."

"I...I don't know." _Yes you do. Ice wants out and it's trying to tell you so._

"Okay. That's okay. Can you tell me what's hurting then?" Anna stayed where she was, having an idea that hanging onto Elsa when she was freaking out might not have been the best thing to do, at least not yet since Elsa's instincts were still to get away from people so she wouldn't hurt them, and she had been physically preventing Elsa from acting on that. _I probably scared her more. Stupid me. _"Hey, Elsa, just look at me. It's all right. Is it the ice?"

Elsa slowly nodded again, keeping her focus purely on Anna and nothing else. _Anna is there. She's okay. So I am okay too. Calm down, Elsa. Anna is not hurt. _Elsa's magic still wanted out, but she didn't feel like she might explode anymore. Anna moved a few inches closer, and Elsa didn't scoot away this time.

"Please let some more magic out. Elsa, quit hurting yourself. You don't need to force it to stay inside any more." Anna wished she could do something more to help, but all she had was not quite two weeks' experience dealing with Elsa and the knowledge of what little Elsa had done for her when they were tiny. _But this isn't like a four-year-old's scraped knee. I can't just hug Elsa and kiss the owie better. _Anna felt far out of her depth with this and there was nothing that could help them. No books in the library that said what to do if your friend was depressed or anxious. And certainly nothing that said what to do for a scared ice mage that wasn't very good at controlling her magic. _The trolls Elsa mentioned. Maybe they know something. Elsa can't possibly be the only girl with magic that's ever existed. Maybe we can get clearer info this time than Mom and Dad did before._

"I just...I'm still worried I...will hurt you." Elsa watched with wide eyes as Anna reached to touch her shoulder. _I can make the ice stay in. I don't understand why, but she _wants _to touch me. Why isn't she scared? _Anna felt so warm. Elsa didn't think she would ever get tired of being able to feel warmth again. It made her feel all safe and cozy inside, and it was baffling how the ice genuinely still hurt her and yet felt willing to stay inside if she wanted it to.

"I don't think the small experiments you're willing to do indoors are enough to make you feel better magic-wise. We need to go somewhere where there's more space for you to do it comfortably." Anna scooted closer when she was sure Elsa wouldn't bolt away. _What about outside this winter? Nobody would be able to tell if she messed up anyhow. I just don't want her to have to be hurting for months until then..._

"I think...that our parents...would have a fit," Elsa said slowly. "I...I shouldn't be _here_!"

Anna scowled. "Well they're not here, Elsa. You're the person with the most authority here and you act like somebody's going to punish you for doing something for yourself. I don't like it, I don't like it at all!" She reached for Elsa's chilly hands, balled into fists, and just held them tightly. "Elsa-"

Elsa yelped and tried to pull away. "Please don't, I don't want t-to hurt you!"

"But look. You _aren't _hurting me. Here, your dumb gloves are still on the table, can I hold your hands if you're wearing them?" Anna still thought the gloves did absolutely nothing, but maybe it would make jumpy Elsa feel more comfortable.

"...Okay."

Anna hopped up, grabbed them, and plopped back on the snowy floor next to Elsa. "Here you go." She handed the gloves to Elsa, who quickly yanked them onto her hands. Anna gave Elsa a reassuring squeeze; she didn't yank away this time, much to Anna's relief. _Hey maybe I'll ask Elsa about something more lighthearted and not just herself and whatever issues she's got. Maybe that'll help. Besides, I'm selfish, I want to go out. Elsa probably wouldn't mind being stuck inside the castle gates even if she was totally fine and happy. I do. _"Elsa...do you think maybe we could go out to...the marketplace? Like in disguise or something...?"

Elsa's blue eyes grew big. _I can't do that. All those people...and what if they found out it was us?! But maybe something like that would be good for Anna, at least. I know she hates being cooped up. _"I can't. But what about...what if I asked Gerda to go with you? She could protect you, and...it's just, I'm scared of someone recognizing you, Anna. I wouldn't stop you from doing that, though. Would you like that?" Elsa offered hesitantly.

"That's a stinky idea! I want YOU to come!" Anna paused for a second before asking in a slightly accusatory tone, "And why on earth is it okay for me to go out like that and not you? I mean if anyone was going to get recognized more easily through a disguise it would be me, since people saw me at the funeral." _Though...Elsa's pretty hair might get her recognized, I guess, if people remember how light it was when we were little...I'd have to hide my white streak from Elsa's magic if I went out like that._

_Elsa, just be honest. You _know _Anna won't be angry with you. Just tell her. _"...I'm scared to. Even if I was not still worried I might make a power mistake," she said softly. _And when I'm scared, the ice leaks out. Well, not _so _much now that Anna has helped me sort of figure it out, but still. I still wouldn't want to go around all of those people. Not if I don't absolutely have to. It terrifies me._

"...oh." Somehow it had not crossed Anna's mind that shy Elsa might not want to socialize with lots of people if given the opportunity, not even counting the not-completely-controlled magic. _What's Elsa going to do once she comes of age? Still hide behind the gates? What about Coronation Day? Does she actually _like _being "stuck" here? _Anna had a very strong feeling that what Elsa wanted was to have her sister back, and that was quite enough for her social-wise. Being stuck inside the gates probably didn't really bother her much. "Did you like going to the marketplace when we were little?" she asked cautiously.

Elsa gave Anna a lopsided smile and shrugged a little. "We didn't _really _ever go, you know. Not window shopping like ordinary people would. We were children, and our people were all...you know, respectful since we were the princesses, even if they thought we were cute. Well, most people...I can remember rude children a little older than we were being obnoxious. But I just liked dressing up and playing the little proper princess with you. You were always a handful and got all dirty." Elsa looked like she might start giggling remembering that. "I don't think I really cared one way or the other about being there, honestly," she added thoughtfully, trying to consider.

Anna wondered whether asking Elsa if she minded being shut inside the castle walls would make her upset. _Elsa seems to be fine now and I don't wanna be the reason she gets all upset again... _Instead she said, "You still like to dress up, don't you, Elsa?" That had to be a safe question. Even though she was getting to spend almost all of her time with Elsa now, Anna felt like she still didn't really _know _her that well. Elsa did not voluntarily share information about herself, that much was certain, even when she was feeling all right.

Elsa's pale cheeks turned pink as she nodded. "Some days I just want to stay in bed and be a...a sad log, and I have work to do. Dressing up makes me feel less..." she trailed off, unsure how to express herself. _This is why I don't try to explain. I don't mind if Anna knows how I feel, but I can't explain myself._

"Less blah?" Anna suggested.

Elsa nodded. Anna obviously didn't need fancy vocabulary to describe feelings; 'blah' was good enough, and she seemed to get it. Elsa thought she would like to give Anna a hug for instantly understanding everything and just..._being there. _She looked down at her hands and then glanced at Anna shyly. "I want to give you a hug," she said, still clasping her hands in her lap.

Anna was a little confused. "Then hug me. I like hugs too, Elsa. You don't have to ask first. Honest." _I don't think Elsa's going to right now though...she's still worried about how I might react. _Instead of waiting, Anna just said, "Well I'm going to give _you _a hug, at least," and hugged the older girl close.

Elsa stiffened on instinct and then relaxed. Anna was warm, unlike her, and she felt the ice shudder through her before calming again. _It still hurts, but I don't care anymore. It's actually listening to me now, and I'm fairly certain it is just bothering me because like Anna said, I'm not letting _enough _of it out. "_I think, um, that I'd like to practice more outside this winter," she said hesitantly.

"That's great to hear, Elsa!" _Awesome! _Anna was delighted to hear Elsa say that. That meant Elsa must feel better, considering she was making a plan for something she wanted to do months from now.

_It is? _Elsa smiled and stayed put in Anna's arms, feeling quite content at the moment. "I need to go finish my work for the day, but I'm so happy here. You make me feel...human." Elsa was unaware of the upset expression on her little sister's face at hearing that comment.

_What the heck, Elsa?! Of course you're human. Hmph. _Anna stood up and pulled Elsa with her, keeping her arm around Elsa's shoulders. "I'll come with you to finish it. Maybe you could show me what you do and then I can help you with it."

"You hate paperwork and writing official-type documents," Elsa pointed out, though she wasn't going to push Anna away if she wanted to help. Help was nice. _But I won't ask her to help either. I _know _she doesn't really want to and is just trying to be nice._

"Yeah, I know, but I want to help you even if the thing I'm helping you with is super boring. Because you're not boring and I like being with you, so helping with boring stuff won't be boring. Well not a lot boring." Anna's rambling made quiet Elsa smile. "Do you have a suitor you get to write romantic letters to?"

Elsa's smile morphed to a scowl. "No. I don't want to write romantic letters to someone I don't know," she said firmly. _And I wouldn't know how, even if I did want to. Who on earth would want me anyway? They wouldn't love me; they would just love my authority or something. I'm not interested. _"That is not for me. If marriage offers are sent, I just decline them. For multiple reasons."

"Well maybe some are nice people close to your age and not some creepy ol' man looking for political power or whatever. I mean, I think any guy would be super lucky to have you. You're pretty, and nice, and you have money, what more could some boy want?" Anna giggled, thinking that was awfully funny. She wasn't stupid; she did recognize that it was _possible _for there to be a creep, but she was very certain there just HAD to be mostly nice ones.

"I'm not interested."

"Are you really not interested or are you just saying that because you're scared something might go wrong?"

"Both." Elsa started walking back to her room with Anna beside her. "Anna, romance is not exactly on my list of concerns or priorities. Why would I even think about it? I don't care about it, and even if I did, I can't see any boy wanting me for...me. I wouldn't want to have anything to do with some greedy person who just liked me because I have political power-or will in three years, I suppose."

Anna flopped on Elsa's neatly made bed and propped herself up on her elbows. "Maybe we can dance with people at your coronation party. That would be so fun!"

Elsa looked a little disturbed. _I don't even want to think about that. Not yet. That won't be for three years thank goodness. "_No thank you. And I don't dance," she informed Anna.

"I want a green fancy dress with a twirly skirt for the party! What about you?" Anna asked hopefully. Maybe outfits would interest Elsa more.

"I don't know. Something elegant and pretty but...also modest and unassuming because of what it would be for. I hate the idea of all those people staring at me." Elsa crossed her arms over her chest looking uncomfortable. "What if I make a mistake?" she whispered. _It's not even just my magic; what if I drop something, or trip, or say something stupid? Or hurt someone?_

Anna shrugged. "Just say, 'Oops I'm sorry!' and move on. Mistakes are normal. You overthink stuff a lot. What's the worst that could happen if you made a mistake?"

"Someone killing me because I have ice powers and causing some international incident," came Elsa's immediate reply.

_Sheesh, Elsa. Of course you said that._ Anna sighed. "Well, you _could _just...defend yourself, you know," she said slowly. "What if you could teach yourself how to fight with your magic? I bet you could."

"I don't _want _to fight with it," Elsa said softly. "I'm not...not very..." she trailed off. The ice tingled in her fingers, as if saying, _yes you most definitely could fight back, and easily, too. You're not helpless. _Elsa balled her hands into fists, but the knowledge wouldn't go. Deep inside she knew her instinct was right; she could _easily _defend herself if she needed to. It didn't matter that she didn't want to. The ability was still there. Elsa went back to organizing the paperwork on her desk.

Anna was quiet for awhile as she watched Elsa finish organizing and then start writing something. _I wonder if we should tell people about Elsa. How would we even do that, though? Just be like, 'Hey Queen Elsa is an ice mage'? Even I know that's probably not the greatest idea. Tell a couple of people and let the rumors spread? I just don't think hiding it is a good idea. Elsa can't expect herself to be perfectly in control _all _the time, and maybe if people already knew about her, nobody would care if she 'messed up'. _"Are you sure you don't want some help, Elsa?"

Elsa turned around in her seat and nodded. "Yes. I like you being in here, though. If you _really _must help, you can write down a list of things you'd like delivered to the castle, though. Like food or decorations or whatever else you want. Then give it to me."

"I don't really want anything. I have what I always wanted, I get to spend time with you!" Anna hopped up and peeked over Elsa's shoulder. "Weselton. Why're you writing to them?"

"They sent condolences to us and I am just saying thank you. I don't like the duke. He is so full of it, and he tries to cheat us. Also he doesn't like me." Elsa looked more amused than annoyed.

"How do you know he doesn't like you if he hasn't met you?" Anna asked curiously.

Now Elsa giggled. "He did, when I was about three. It was immediately a mutual dislike. The man called me a brat. I had interrupted a meeting between Dad and him, and toddler me accused him of trying to 'cheat on moneys'," she explained, much to Anna's delight.

"Invite him to visit," Anna suggested, clearly pleased with herself, "and then not let him in since the gates are closed."

"While I would not mind that, it is extremely unprofessional, so I can't." Elsa shook her head. "Also, Anna, he technically did see us multiple times when we were a little older, remember? We used to make fun of him, which was rude..." Elsa suddenly wished she could go back when they were little, when everything didn't feel so..._wrong _to her. _I missed Anna growing up. She doesn't even seem younger than me anymore. If anything she almost seems older. No, that's not the right word, she still acts like...Anna. But I don't feel right anymore. She's been taking care of me since that day she rescued me, and I should be taking care of her. _She crossed her arms on her desk and put her head down, just thinking. _How can I make it up to her? I can't._

"Elsa, what's wrong?" Anna asked hesitantly. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No. I'm just thinking," Elsa said quietly. "I missed you growing up."

Anna tugged at Elsa's shoulder until she lifted her head. "No you didn't. Not really. I know you listened all the time, and you waved at me from your window when I was in the courtyard." She scowled when Elsa added that Anna had been taking care of her since that day Anna had rescued her and that she wanted to make it up to Anna and couldn't. "You're my _friend_, Elsa. That's what friends do. You don't owe me anything. Nothing except...not hurting yourself. I don't want you to do that."

"I wasn't there for you for _so long_! I'm a horrible friend."

"That wasn't your choice. That wasn't your fault. Quit blaming yourself!" Anna scolded.

"But-"

Anna put her hands on her hips. "What were you supposed to do differently? You trusted Mom and Dad, just like any kid would do. We were just little kids. You were scared. I don't think there was anything else you _could_ have done. Not under the cir-circa-circumstances from what I know and what you've told me about what I can't remember."

A tiny bit of Elsa wondered if maybe she should have made a fuss. Used her magic on purpose. _Something. _Certainly no one could have literally forced her to stay in her room...but she had chosen to obey and listen, and probably made Anna sad in the process.

The dark bit of her informed that yes, she definitely should have fought back and gotten her little sister back too. _I couldn't control it. Stop it, Elsa, don't think like that._

_I'm just _saying. _I wasn't a helpless little girl. I could have gotten out if I wanted to or tried._

_That's bad. Very bad, Elsa. You were frightened and besides, doing that would have been wrong._

_Is it? Defending yourself is wrong? _Anna's comment that she could defend herself flitted through Elsa's mind. _I couldn't have done that. I think Papa would have locked me in the dungeon permanently if I had tried._

Anna could see Elsa debating with herself mentally, and she waited a minute before continuing. "I don't think it would have been _wrong _to, like, make a stink or fight back, but I also don't think obeying was "wrong" either. You were scared, and I know how much you try to please, because you do it with me too. And if I'm reading you right, you don't like confrontation, and you just silently hate things if you don't like something."

"How can both reactions be okay? That doesn't make any sense." Elsa folded up her letter to Weselton and sealed it, pointedly ignoring the snowflakes floating around her. _How can Anna be right? I mean, it makes sense, but..._

"Because you were _eight years old, _Elsa, and, I'm sorry to say this about Mom and Dad 'cause they're gone and it feels really awful mean to say, but keeping your kid isolated away locked in a room is just abusive, even though they meant well and cared about us. It's definitely not right. Therefore it makes sense that you listened, because you were little when it started and got brainwashed into thinking it was a good thing, but it also wouldn't have been wrong for you to fight back and make a stink, because locking you away wasn't right in the first place. Does that make sense?" Anna was determined to make Elsa understand, no matter how many times she had to repeat herself.

"...I don't know." Elsa went back to her paperwork and sighed deeply. _This shouldn't matter now. I have Anna right here with me. Even if I told her to go away, she wouldn't. _She still felt like that frightened little girl, even if she was eighteen now and she _knew _Anna was right next to her. Elsa might not have liked socializing, but she also hated constantly feeling lonely, and Anna made that feeling go away.

"Maybe you should move back into our old room with me," Anna suggested now.

Elsa continued writing a new letter and didn't turn around. "That's your room now. I can't do that."

"My room to do what I please with it, and it would greatly please me to turn it back into OUR room!" Anna sounded excited. "You could let this room just be your study for working in. You never should have had to leave our room in the first place." While Anna still couldn't remember the _why _of the two of them being separated as children, she most definitely did remember eight-year-old Elsa giving her this sad heartbroken expression before disappearing into her new room for the first time. Back then, she had been very confused at all the changes and secrecy (and angry at losing her playmate), but now Anna wondered what all of that had been like for little Elsa, who _could _remember what had happened, and believed it was her fault. "Elsa, umm...can I ask you something?"

Elsa nodded, bracing herself for some question that she didn't want to, or couldn't, answer. _Answer honestly. That is what Anna wants, and she won't be mad._

"What, um, what did you do right after you moved to this room?"

Elsa tensed and closed her eyes, but then she looked up at Anna and gave her a lopsided smile. Frost crackled beneath her feet; this time she ignored it. "I hid under my bed crying and made a huge snowy mess," she admitted softly. "Then I fell asleep under there. When I woke up little me was very angry and I threw an icicle making a hole in the wall. The first actual damage I caused in here. I remember Kai fixed the hole before either of our parents saw what I had done. I never told."

Anna wondered if their loyal servant had known little Elsa would get in trouble and had done what he could to stop that from happening. _Also, Elsa _was _angry about being put in here? What happened? She doesn't seem remotely angry now, just...hurt. And sad. _"Did you hide under the bed a lot?" she asked curiously.

Elsa turned pink, but she nodded and went back to writing. "I don't really know why, though..."

"Maybe you felt safer under there." Anna wished she could go back and break into little Elsa's room _before _all this time had gone by. "Well, I'm not gonna try to _make _you share a room, but I'd be super happy if you said yes to moving back to ours. Will you at least think about it? You might be happier since this room is all full of bad memories, don't you think?"

Elsa sealed her reply and put it in her outgoing mail pile. _Why would Anna want me in there? I don't get it. _"I think, I think I should like to spend time with you in there, but not when I'm sleeping. I don't want to risk hurting you, and..." she trailed off. _And I don't want you to have to deal with or see me and my nightmares._

"Elsa, I know you don't sleep well a lot of the time. I've seen it and you know it. I've been staying with you in here, so it'll be perfectly safe in our old room too. Lemme help. It can't possibly be good to wake up scared and _not _have anybody there with you, right?" Anna did not care if Elsa was the older one; she was determined to take good care of Elsa no matter what. "I wish there was a book or something that said what to do to help better."

"You do help," Elsa replied instantly. She stood up and gazed out her window. "You have always helped, even...before, when you had no idea what was going on. Anna, you do...know that, right?" Elsa flinched when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder, but then she relaxed again. The magic was not going to leak out right now, so Anna would be safe.

"But I wasn't always very nice to you. I sort of shouted at you through the door sometimes," Anna pointed out. "And right after you...disappeared in here I was really jealous that Mom came to your room for so long for weeks after."

Elsa fidgeted uncomfortably. "She was trying to help me, was scared of my powers, and didn't know what to do. I told her to go away after awhile because you needed her a-and I think...I think seeing me made her sad. I didn't want her to be sad." _Why did I push my own mother away even when she _did _try to help? I probably hurt her feelings besides the magic scaring her._ Elsa swiped at her eyes roughly, trying her best not to start crying again. "I didn't get to say goodbye, Anna. I'd be terrified if our parents came back somehow, but I still miss them."

_That's the first Elsa's voluntarily said about Mom and Dad. Of course she's scared of them but misses them too. That actually makes sense... _Anna wrapped her arm around Elsa's shoulders and just stood there looking out the window with her. "You were little but trying to be grown-up and deal by yourself. It sounds like Mom didn't know what to do with you, but she _did _care. That...that's good, right?"

Elsa didn't answer beyond a slight head shake. No that wasn't good. She had probably hurt her mother's feelings telling her to go away, and she had taken their mom away from caring for little five-year-old Anna who hadn't had any idea what was going on. _And now I've done nothing I was supposed to be doing. I'm letting Anna touch me. Why am I-_

_"_Elsa. Listen. What you just told me proves Mom wouldn't make you stay away from me if she knew it was safe. She _cared. _She loved you too, even if she was...you know, scared, which isn't okay," Anna said quickly, interrupting Elsa's inner monologue. "And I'm _sure _she must have known little Elsa tried her best."

"It wasn't good enough," Elsa said flatly. "I hurt you."

"You told me about that. It was an accident. It didn't even sound like you lost control then! Just that you couldn't react fast enough to catch me. How the heck can you think that's your fault?" Anna started pulling Elsa into the hall, and she was glad the older girl didn't resist. She marched straight to the covered portrait of their parents and tugged the black curtain down. "Here. Say here what you wish you could tell them. Anything, anything at all." Next to Anna, Elsa instinctively pressed herself closer to Anna for comfort rather than dart away, and Anna was glad. _Good. I'd rather her do that than run back to her stupid room._

"This is ridiculous. They cannot hear me." Elsa's flat tone made Anna think she was trying to hide how she really felt.

"We don't know that. Maybe they're looking down on us right now and thinking, 'Wow we really didn't do good with those girls, but we're so glad they are together now!'," Anna suggested quietly.

Elsa's expression held just a hint of a smile at that comment, but she still stayed quiet. _I don't know what I would even say. Part of me knows Anna is right and that she actually _does _know what to do to help me, even if neither of us have any knowledge of what to do and she's younger than I am. It has not been a month even and I feel better than I have since...well, since the accident. The ice still hurts, but it's listening to me now-at least mostly-and I feel so much happier and safer now. I don't want to kill myself anymore, at least not most of the time. _She shakily reached for Anna's shoulder and then jerked her hand back again. _What am I doing?_

_I want to tell Anna thank you. I want to give her a hug._

_You can't! You'll hurt her, you don't deserve to._

_But I know Anna cares. She loves me even if I don't deserve it. She would be happy if I gave her a hug. _Elsa's hand stayed trembling in the space between them, not quite willing to _voluntarily _touch not-magical Anna but not quite ready to give up either.

Anna waited expectantly for a few seconds longer, but then she grew impatient and just gently linked her warm hand with Elsa's cool one. "It's okay, Elsa. Look. You are not gonna hurt me. I trust you."

_I don't trust me, _Elsa thought, but then she realized the ice _was _perfectly fine; it still ached and generally did not feel nice inside, but it seemed to also sense that its worried owner was not going to attempt to permanently stuff it away anymore and was just needing to protect this person. _It's just part of me. I need to accept that and just...deal. I love Anna, I will do that for her. I have to. _The magic retreated from her fingers entirely and settled in her chest painfully. Elsa winced, but she also smiled and finally reached to give her little sister a hug. _I'm hugging Anna and I _know _I won't hurt her right now. I might not be able to guarantee that all of the time, but right now I can. "_Anna," she whispered.

"I'm here, Elsa. You hugged me. You must've figured something out," Anna told her quietly as she hugged Elsa back. _I know she did! I'm not sure how, but Elsa's magic must have done something. It hurt her but then she was smiling and she hugged me. SHE HUGGED ME! _Anna thought she couldn't wait until winter came this year. She would get to go outside with Elsa and Elsa could actually experiment with her magic more without being worried about someone seeing a mistake. _Then it won't hurt her anymore._

"...I did." Elsa almost sounded questioning as she let go of Anna, but she was so happy, she hugged her little sister again. "I'm not scared right now! I know it won't hurt you."

**A/N: And there's the end of another chapter! I hope everyone enjoyed it despite the wait.:) So Elsa has figured it out-she needs love _and _she needs to accept what she has as well. If it's unclear, Elsa's magic is just still hurting her simply because she has too much of it inside, but it's better now and it "knows" she's genuinely trying to use and accept it since she has been doing small experiments indoors with Anna.**

**Since Anna and Elsa have all of this time together now, they might go and try to find more evidence of what happened with the shipwreck...**

**For whoever is also reading League of Seven, there's just one scene that I'm totally unsatisfied with still and I don't want to post a chapter I'm not satisfied with. Rest assured I _am _working on it:)**

**Next chapter coming soon! This is MantaI-305Apollo'sChariot signing off for now, over and out!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/U: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**I will PM my reviewers ASAP! I just really really wanted to get this chapter up today:) Thank you so much for your reviews, I appreciate them so much!**

**On to the story!**

"...So, we were wondering if you had a good solution to this," Anna finished. After Elsa's first major breakthrough when she had voluntarily hugged Anna herself and her magic easily obeyed what she wanted, Anna had hesitantly asked Elsa what she planned to tell people about her magic, and while Elsa's immediate reaction was _I am never telling another soul if I can help it!, _Anna convinced her to ask for Kai's opinion after several days of convincing. Well, she convinced Elsa to come with her and let her ask, at least. After all, Kai had helped their father with many issues in the past, and the Arendelle royal family trusted him.

Kai looked at the two princesses fondly, only too glad that they were together again. Elsa stood in that elegant prim and proper but obviously shy manner that she had, but she looked much happier now. Next to her Anna bounced on her toes, held Elsa's hand, and looked at him hopefully, waiting for an answer. He mulled it over for a minute and then addressed Elsa first, deciding the best course of action was the gentle truth. "Princess Elsa, you know many people would simply be extremely curious, don't you? The trouble lies with the small percentage that would not accept it. I believe you need to be able to verbally express why they should accept and trust you before revealing that information."

Elsa bit her lip and nodded. "I know. I can't do that."

"Yet," Kai said firmly. "You cannot do that _yet. _I agree with your sister that never telling anyone is a bad idea. But you need to explain in the right way, and not risk your magic giving you away when you don't want it to. You've plenty of time to solve how you would like to tell your citizens. Make them see your powers as a good thing, not something you're apologizing for."

_What? How can I do that?! _Elsa stared at Kai, absolutely incredulous. "They haven't seen me for ten years! Once they realize _why _I have been shut inside the castle for so long, they will just...they'll just see the defective madwoman in the attic. A dangerous one," she said flatly.

"No, they won't. It's presentation, princess. You could play up the mystery factor. Have a nice portrait made. Send copies out. Say you were practicing for the day you would take the throne. Say your parents were protecting you-however true or untrue that may be." Kai paused before adding carefully, "I believe you're powerful enough to defend Arendelle with your abilities. You can play the benevolent magical dictator of the absolute power."

Elsa looked down at her hands. How could Kai think that? She had never done anything super large scale with her powers in her life, not even as a small child. Certainly her magic had grown along with her, but...still. Now the only man she had ever really trusted in her life was implying she had the power to defend her country if necessary. _But...I know he is right. I have more power than I know. I don't like it, but it's true._

"What about a portrait of Elsa all dressed up and looking professional and pretty while she's making her signature snowflake?" Anna suggested. "Like subtle but not?"

Elsa shifted her weight from one foot to the other nervously. "I'm not sending out portraits of myself. That attracts more of those annoying proposal letters. I could be ugly as who knows what and someone will think that is why I revealed what I look like."

"Not send out. There's portraits of little bitty us out at some of the public places, like the public library and stuff like that. I'm sure the caretaker people would like updated ones," Anna said.

Kai looked Elsa right in the face as he said his next words. "Princess Elsa, you need to learn how to use it to defend yourself. I think you know you can too, even if you don't like it. Let your sister help you. Please."

Elsa pulled her hand away from Anna's, not trusting herself to not make her little sister cold at the moment, but she also stepped a bit closer to her, too. _The ice is _not _going to hurt Anna right now, but I know my hand must be freezing since I'm...nervous right now._

Anna let Elsa's hand go and put an arm around her instead. It had quickly become _very _obvious to Anna that just because Elsa had figured out the key to controlling her magic did not mean she was at all comfortable with her hands being touched, especially when she was frightened or nervous, and she wouldn't ditch her gloves except for when they went to do magic practice, as Anna called it. "I'll definitely help. And teach me how to defend us too. She shouldn't have to fight at all, she's gonna be the queen and she doesn't want to fight. That's what the guards are for, right?"

"Of course, but they simply cannot be around _every second _for you two. It only takes one moment of inattention for something to happen. Once people know about Princess Elsa, she will become more of a target than she would be already for those that may wish the Crown harm. She has a built-in way to defend herself. Therefore she should learn how," Kai said firmly. "She doesn't have to like it, and hopefully she'll never need to."

Elsa excused herself, saying she was going to go find a small snack to eat. _I don't want to hear this anymore, but I know Kai is right. I need to do something. If anything, I need to so I can protect Anna if need be._

Anna started to follow her, but turned back when Kai called her name. "Yeah? I mean, yes?"

"You've done so much for your sister in only a month. Thank you for doing what no one else could," Kai said quietly. "She's like a completely different person than the girl from before."

"No she's not. Elsa's still Elsa. And she still gets all...scared and upset some..." Anna's voice trailed off, and she looked off in the direction Elsa had gone. _I'm still worried about letting her out of sight, but not _as _much as before. I don't think Elsa will hurt herself or anything, but she might get upset. _"But I have got her back, so I don't care. I'm never, ever going to let her live all alone like that again. Never!"

"What I mean, princess, is simply thank you. You gave your sister hope; you've helped with the magic issue. You're helping Princess Elsa live instead of just exist." Kai was so glad that the two royal sisters were together again. They may not have been _his _children, but watching them grow up made him care about them as if they were.

Anna lifted her chin and grinned. "That's my job. I get to help Elsa and make her happy again." She trotted off toward the stairs; then turned around. "I have a question. I've been thinking, isn't the closed gates thing _technically _just to the public? I mean, we still get deliveries and stuff. And I know a few of the guards go home to visit family or whatever. So wouldn't it _technically _be fine if Elsa or I went out? Right? We just can't let any random people _in_."

"I suppose so, but princess, you know you can't run about Arendelle alone," Kai cautioned her, knowing quite well that Anna would probably get into all sorts of mischief if she went out by herself, and it wouldn't be safe, either.

Anna beamed. "I won't be alone. I just have to convince Elsa to come with me!"

* * *

"No." Elsa's quiet but firm answer frustrated Anna. Elsa may have been quiet, but she could be _stubborn, _Anna thought.

"Why? We can take a trip through Arendelle and go off into the forest or wherever the trolls you mentioned live so you can practice your magic better out in the open," Anna explained as she plopped onto the library sofa next to Elsa. "Kai said the closed gates thing doesn't necessarily mean we have to stay in. It means the public has to stay out. Which I never knew until now..."

"I'd rather my magic hurt me until winter. I can practice outside here then," Elsa said evenly. _Elsa, you are supposed to be trying to make Anna happy. You're going to disappoint her if you don't go _somewhere _with her. At least just explain why you don't want to. "_Anna, please don't be disappointed, but the idea...scares me. I hate being lonely, but I don't want to see all of those people. I think...I think I would freak out."

"You'd stay inside the castle gates the rest of your life if you could?" When Elsa didn't deny or assent to that, Anna sighed. "I'm sorry, Elsa, I just don't want you to feel like you _have _to stay hidden or something. And. Can I just say something?" she asked hesitantly.

Elsa stood up from her spot on the kitchen steps and took another bite of her cookie. "I'm listening." _Of course Anna can say something. I'm lucky she is here with me._

"Elsa, I don't want to accuse you of anything, but part of me kinda thinks you're somehow...thinking you deserve for your magic to be hurting you. I don't like that. If you can't help it, that's one thing-I wouldn't like it but that's okay-but you _know _letting more magic out would fix the problem, and you won't do it. You even know how to control it now." Anna searched Elsa's face for answers, but the older girl only looked down at her shoes and said nothing. "Please don't not say anything about this. It's important."

_No it isn't. And no one ever even noticed or asked if I was...hurting because of it before, probably because I tried so hard to hide it. That's my fault. __But Anna notices and asks if I'm okay. She always does. _Elsa was quiet for a long moment before she answered. "I don't trust myself, Anna. I think...I think what you said might be true, but I'm not...not consciously thinking it? Does that make any sense?" She flinched when Anna reached to squeeze her hand and snapped her gaze to their hands. Frost crackled beneath her feet but no cold emanated from her hand onto Anna. "That. That's why. I didn't do that on purpose."

Anna shrugged and grabbed Elsa's other hand too, which made her yelp. "Look. I just startled you twice and you didn't hurt me at all. Not even a little. It's okay. You don't have to trust yourself. I trust you. But Elsa, I won't have you indirectly hurting yourself on purpose. You weren't doing that before obviously, because you couldn't help it, but now you are, because you _do _know how to make it stop." She squeezed Elsa's hands as she added, "Remember, you promised."

"I promised I wouldn't...attempt...that again, that's all," Elsa muttered, and she bit her lip. _Elsa, don't tell Anna that. You'll make her sad! Be quiet. _"I'm sorry..."

Anna gulped. _That's true, but Elsa, no! Hurting yourself isn't okay either! _Can _Elsa promise to not do that? She's said she won't make a promise she doesn't think she can keep. _"Okay," she said finally. "Could you at least promise to _tell _someone if you feel like hurting yourself?"

"...I...I don't know. I think so. Yes." Elsa desperately wanted to hide her left arm from Anna now; Anna was gently touching her wrist and it made her cringe and want to go back to her room. The gloves hid the scar from a month before, but she _knew _Anna knew it was there.

"Can I see it?" Anna's voice was gentle but hesitant. _What if she tore it open again and she didn't tell anyone? I love Elsa, and I trust her for most things, but not this._

Elsa hesitated. No, she didn't want Anna to see it, but certainly Anna deserved to be allowed to, considering Anna had been the one to find and rescue her. _Not out here she can't, I'm still paranoid about someone seeing me. But I could inside. _"Inside...all...all right." She headed inside and straight for Anna's room before she could change her mind, with Anna following right behind her.

Anna immediately recognized Elsa's worries, so she closed and locked the door behind them before tugging Elsa over to the soft carpet on the floor and plopping down. Then she silently waited expectantly.

Elsa slipped off her glove and then took a deep breath before holding her hand out for Anna, her eyes scrunched shut. _I'm sorry, Anna. I didn't do it again, but it's still there from before and I feel like...like it's torn up just like the rest of me. It's never going to go away. _Elsa half expected Anna to fuss at her, but Anna had a different reaction.

"It looks lots better, Elsa!" Anna said now, her tone clearly relieved and genuinely happy. _She hasn't hurt it at all! Yay. _She frowned when she realized Elsa was crying now. _"_Elsa, what's the matter? That's a good thing!" _Wait a second. She's not sad. She's relieved. What the heck did Elsa think I was going to do or say to her?_

Elsa shook her head and didn't answer right away, but she impulsively gave Anna an awkward hug. The ice wasn't remotely agitated and wanting out right now; it felt as limp and relieved as she did, despite the normal uncomfortable pressure that was always there. "You said it looked better and you did not fuss at me."

"Elsa, have you even looked at your wrist since you stopped bandaging it? It doesn't look bad. Especially since you still look all sunburned kind of for now. Look." Anna scooted so she was sitting next to Elsa and turned her sister's hand palm up so she could see her wrist. "I mean it. I was worried you'd hurt it again, but you haven't. So good."

Elsa looked. _Anna is right; it's not as bad as I thought, but... "_It's never going to go away."

"Okay, so it'll fade to a teeny pink line eventually. That's no big deal. It's just a scar, Elsa. It doesn't make you bad or messed up. You know that. Nobody's going to notice it and if they do, they still won't know how you got it unless you tell them," Anna said quickly.

Elsa smiled a tiny bit. "Anna, it's...not that. I can always just cover it if I want to. It's that _I _know it's there and why," she explained simply.

"Think of it as a reminder of the day we got each other back. Not why you did it." Anna hugged her again, and she added, "I mean, what you did was _not _okay, but if you hadn't I wouldn't have busted into your room like I did. Ooh, wait a second, I have an idea, I just remembered something!" She hopped up and rummaged through drawers until she pulled out a small velvet pouch. "Close your eyes, Elsa."

Elsa did as she was told; then flinched when she felt Anna fastening something around her wrist. "What are you doing?"

"Hold on, I'm having trouble with the clasp...okay you can look now!" Anna said excitedly. She beamed when Elsa looked down at her wrist and her face lit up. "You made it for me, remember? I want you to have it. I remember us sitting under the piano in the library and you working on the beads. I'm giving it back to you because I've loved it and I didn't make one for you then. It was a necklace then but I made it into a bracelet since eventually I sort of broke it anyways."

Elsa's blue eyes were still on the bracelet, which had been a necklace for five-year-old Anna, but looped twice it made a perfect bracelet now. It was blue and green, their favorite colors, and where the clasp met now, there was a row of alternating snowflakes and sunflowers Anna had added. Elsa didn't see the scar on her wrist anymore; Anna's gift hid some of it, and it made her think about Anna's kindness instead of...other things that hurt her and made her sad. "How long have you...I mean, what made you decide to-"

"Use sunflowers and snowflakes? I don't know. Maybe I remembered more than I think I do." Anna smiled as she added, "I was gonna stick it under your door with a corny sisters poem. But then I realized I can't write poems even corny ones and I wanted to have a poem so I put the bracelet necklace away and I forgot I'd remade it until just now. Now you _have _to think about the good thing about that day when you look at your wrist, okay?"

Elsa held her hands close to her heart, her smile saying more than any words could. "Thank you for not...giving up on me."

"Give yourself some credit! And me, too. I wouldn't do that to you and you know it. And you _are _worth it to me. I want you to be happy. Please tell me if you're sad or hurting. I mean, I'm not able to instantly fix it but at least you haven't got to be alone anymore. You can be sad but with a friend there for you." Anna watched, a little surprised, as Elsa slipped off her other glove and touched the beads on the bracelet. Then she ran her fingers over the carpet and then touched the embroidery on her own skirt. "Elsa, what are you doing?" she asked curiously.

Elsa didn't answer and hesitantly reached one finger to touch Anna's arm; then jerked her hand back and touched her own skin. Elsa's expression was clearly intrigued and curious, like a little kid might be at discovering new things. _Anna is right. I'm not cold. She's warm though and I'm not. I cannot feel "cold" like a normal person, but I can tell what temperature things are again. Anna is warm. I'm cooler than she is, but not a lot? I don't understand. And Anna's carpet is soft._

Realization slammed into Anna as to just what the older girl was doing. _Elsa hasn't really touched anything since she was little. So different textures and temperatures must be new and really interesting to her. _"If you could touch anything you wanted right now, what would it be?"

Elsa figuratively froze, but then she tilted her head to one side, considering. "A pet. I wish I had a pet to hold," she said after a minute.

"What sort of pet?"

"A cat or dog." Elsa saw Anna's expression and immediately backtracked. "Do not surprise me with a pet. I don't want to hurt it. You I can trust to not touch me if I say to please not. I cannot trust an animal to do that."

"I think that a pet would be good for you," Anna announced firmly, sounding quite sure of herself. "You're basically a cat yourself."

Elsa wasn't sure whether to be offended or start laughing. She gave Anna a sideways glance and asked what on earth that was supposed to mean.

"You like to try to be independent but you really also just want a friend, but you're picky on who you trust and lash out when you're angry or upset. Like a cat!" Anna looked pleased with her deductions.

"Meow." Elsa couldn't argue with that; she thought Anna's explanation was spot on. She smiled when Anna started giggling. _I made Anna laugh for once instead of worrying her!_

Anna was delighted to see Elsa smiling, and she gave Elsa a quick hug instead of holding her hand, which she knew Elsa still didn't feel completely comfortable with. "I'm so glad you're happy right now, Elsa. You look like the little kid Elsa I remember when you smile like that."

Elsa's happy expression flickered for a moment, but then she realized something. _Of course Anna would rather see little kid me. I wasn't...like this then. But she still cares about me. She's not angry and she doesn't seem disappointed. Still. _"I'll do better. I'm trying my best," she said quietly.

"I know that. You _are _doing better. That's why I said that!" Anna gave her a reassuring smile. "You're going to be fine, I just know it. I don't care how long it takes, I'm never leaving you all alone again."

_Never? Really? I don't understand, but I...I do believe her. Anna is trustworthy. Will she mind if I ask why? No she won't. Just spit it out, Elsa. _"...Why?"

"Elsa, you _know _why. You're my sister and my friend. Why do you still care about me after ten years, then? It's the same thing," Anna pointed out.

_I still care about you because you're my little sister and I love you and you are my best friend. _Elsa had found her old childhood doll sitting on a trunk in Anna's room, and she impulsively hugged it. "You still have this."

"You gave her to me. Of course I kept those!" Anna wondered if little Elsa had had _any _toys in that room, but she decided not to ask right now. "Do you want yours back?"

Elsa shook her head. "She's yours now. I want you to keep 'mine.'" She paused for a moment, gazing out Anna's window. _I'm going to tell Anna one thing that's been worrying me. Maybe she will have an idea_. "I'm not sure why, but I...I just have this feeling that everything is not quite right." _Wow, that explains your thoughts perfectly, Elsa. Not._

Anna frowned. _What's she mean by that? I don't think she's talking about herself this time... "_About what?"

"With our parents. That letter from Weselton sending their condolences to us arrived far too soon. It's strange." _You're just hoping they aren't dead, Elsa. Don't go grasping at straws that don't exist. _Elsa turned back towards Anna, her hands clasped behind her back again. "There was the letter that said they never arrived and were presumed dead, lost at sea. Then, there was the one sending condolences to us for the funeral."

"Isn't that a normal thing to send, though?" Anna asked cautiously.

"Well, yes, but I have been thinking about it for awhile now. I wouldn't have noticed...before, but, um, you have made me feel better enough that I'm not just doing the bare minimum of work to keep things going. I'm trying to pay more attention to small details. The dates are too close together." The more Elsa spoke about this to Anna, the more she was sure something wasn't right.

"Do you think somebody from Weselton somehow sabotaged their ship and made it wreck?" Anna wondered. _Elsa can be super paranoid, but I don't think she is right now. _"Or they did arrive and something bad happened to Mom and Dad?"

"I don't know. I can't very well question the duke; it sounds ridiculous and insulting, and I have no real proof of anything amiss besides those dates." Elsa paused and began fiddling with the end of her braid. "I'm probably just...hoping, I suppose. That something is wrong so I can..." she trailed off.

"Can what?"

"So I can...rescue them instead of put them in danger because I d-didn't warn them," Elsa whispered. "I know I sound ridiculous. I honestly don't even _want _Mom and Dad to come back. I'm terrified they might take you away from me again. But I...I can't help hoping they are alive all the same. I love them and I still...miss them. Does...does that make sense?" _No it doesn't, Elsa, you sound crazy. Why did you even tell Anna what you were thinking?_

Anna nodded. _Well, that's why you listened when you were little, Elsa. You loved and trusted Mom and Dad. She may not have trusted them anymore but she still loves them. Which makes sense. _"Of course. But Elsa, whatever happened isn't your fault. I don't want you to be chasing evidence that's not there. I mean, somebody could've just written down the wrong date, right?"

"Yes, but it wasn't just _dated _too soon, it _arrived _here too soon, also. Look, I know I'm paranoid and there is something wrong with me, but something is not right. I don't know what it is, but there's _something _amiss. That much is not just me being anxious over nothing." Elsa paused before adding, "And we know the duke isn't trustworthy and never has been. Even little me knew that. He holds no regard for us, Anna. It can't possibly be better now that he has to deal with an inexperienced teenage girl instead of a well-respected, trusted man." _I spoke a lot. It didn't feel strange. And Anna is listening to me. She doesn't seem annoyed or thinking I said everything all wrong._

"I think you oughta talk to Kai about this. He's supposed to help you with this kind of thing. I mean, this is super important, Elsa. If something IS wrong, it's really really serious." Anna followed Elsa as she headed towards her own room. "Are you getting the letters and showing me?"

Elsa nodded. She quickly located the letters on her desk and offered them to Anna, who looked them over and then handed them back to Elsa. "Anna, what if I _am _right? What do I do?" she asked nervously. Tiny snowflakes began floating around her. "What if someone _killed _them? What if they are _not _dead but they are in trouble somewhere? What would I even _try _to do?"

Anna began ticking things off on her fingers and ignored Elsa's little power mishap. "One-we tell Kai. Two-no freaking out until we hear what he says. Three-we know there WAS a major storm thanks to you and your storm sense. It's very likely the ship really did sink. So, _somebody _must have survived the wreck to get word to Weselton that quickly. That somebody could be innocent but we don't know and it doesn't explain how the second letter got here so fast." Anna scowled as she thought of something else. "Elsa, do you know where the letters from when our parents arranged the trip are? What if _you _were supposed to go too?" _I mean, she _is _eighteen. It would make sense. And our cousin's wedding. Ordinarily we would've all gone to that. We would've all died!_

_"_They are in Papa's files in their room." Elsa sounded like a child again, and Anna smiled at her. She clasped her hands close against her chest again and added, "We weren't allowed to touch them when we were little. I...I guess I am stupidly still obeying that." _I sound ridiculous. Come on, Elsa, get yourself together._

_She calls them 'Mama' and 'Papa' on instinct when she's thinking of certain things. _Anna thought part of her older sister was still very much the little girl she had seen disappear into her room. _I _will _take care of her, Mom, Dad. You guys tried but you messed up, bad, _she silently promised. _I know you'd want Elsa to be happy even if you ended up really hurting her. I'll do better. _"Maybe I could help you look at them. They might have some helpful information in them."

Instead of acknowledging that, Elsa was staring at Anna suspiciously. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Anna jumped. "Like what?"

"Like you feel bad for me. I don't want you to feel bad for me." Elsa stood up straight, her expression carefully neutral again.

"Sheesh, I _do _feel bad for you, you're _older _than me and sometimes you still sound like a little kid, and how could _anyone _be okay after ten years alone like that, I-"

"I don't need this, Anna. I love you, but you don't have to..." _Think of me like that? How can she not? I know I say weird things a lot. It's probably partly why I don't want to talk. I don't know...how. _Elsa stared out the window again, thinking of the many times she had watched Anna playing in the courtyard from here. "You don't need to pity me. It was my punishment, my hurt to bear because I hurt you." _But you do need Anna's care. You would be dead long ago if it wasn't for her._

Anna stared at her. "I _don't _pity you. That's dumb and mean. Remember what mom said when we were little? Pity is when you feel bad for something or someone but you don't even try to help them. Compassion is when you feel bad _and _you actually help. Or at least try to. That's what I feel like. At least I hope that's what I'm doing...Elsa? Are you okay?" Anna saw Elsa's shoulders shaking and could hear suppressed sniffles, so she knew something was wrong despite not being able to see Elsa's face. She snatched a blanket off the chair and wrapped it around Elsa before hugging her tightly. "...Are these good tears?" she asked quietly. _I don't want to see Elsa cry, but she should be able to cry if she needs to. Maybe she'll feel better._

"...yes. You...you do help. Lots." _I think I cry more now than I ever did before. Is that bad? Anna would say, 'No Elsa it's okay. Crying is normal.' But I still hate it. I hate feeling weak and broken and I hate that Anna sees it. I trust her, I know she won't...pick on me and abandon me for it, but I still hate it. I don't think I could hold the tears in now even if I wanted to. _Elsa tried to pull away, still wary of letting Anna touch her when she was upset, but Anna didn't let go.

"If you think you might panic, I'll let go, but not otherwise, and I won't leave," Anna said firmly, leaving no room for argument. She sat down on the carpet and tugged Elsa with her.

"...I...I don't feel like I'm going to do that."

"Then I'm not letting you go," came Anna's immediate reply. "You're safe now and you've got a friend with you. You do _not _have to feel lonely ever again."

_I do have a friend. I always had a friend, I just couldn't see her. But Anna has never, ever left me. "_Thank...thank y-you. Thank you so much." Elsa's shaky voice was clearly relieved, and she stopped trying to pull away. Anna did make her feel safe and happy, and the ice was staying inside the way she wanted it to, also.

_Good. She must feel safer since she's not pulling away anymore. _Anna gave her a reassuring squeeze and didn't say anything more. Maybe Elsa just needed quiet, but a nice safe together-y quiet. _I _will _help her, and I won't let anything happen to her if I can help it._

Elsa found herself starting to fall asleep right where she was, despite it being daytime and she hadn't thought she was sleepy before. _I feel sleepy so easily now. I don't understand. Always when Anna is with me, too..._

"You go right to sleep when you're feeling warm and safe," Anna said softly. She stayed very still and just held her sister close. _I wonder if Elsa is somehow making up for lost rest from...before. She must be constantly exhausted because she forces her magic to stay in, it hurts her and probably makes it harder to sleep properly, she's...depressed and anxious a lot, and she has all her paperwork to do besides those things. _Anna felt Elsa grow limp and relaxed as she fell more asleep. "Good, just...rest, Elsa. I'll stay with you, I promise."

_Happy right now. Safe. Warm. Anna makes everything...okay...She said she would stay with me. _Elsa gave a happy sigh and settled again in Anna's arms, clearly asleep now.

Anna smiled and stayed put. _Elsa definitely needs to come back to our old room. She would probably sleep better. Scratch that, I _know _she would sleep better. This sort of thing proves it. "_I gotta find a way to help you sleep easily like this at nighttime too, Elsa," she whispered. "And I shall help you investigate this issue with the letters, too."

* * *

"Come on, please, please, please?" Anna asked again the next evening. "What if we try it and if you absolutely hate it, we'll switch the furniture back again?"

"You...are absolutely sure you want me in there? What if I mess up your things?" Elsa stood in the doorway to Anna's room, her hands clasped behind her back again. _I...sort of know it won't hurt Anna, but I _know _my magic doesn't care about ruining inanimate things one bit. And if I'm not careful, I'm still worried about Anna, too..._

"I don't care. You're more important to me than stuff. I'm ABSOLUTELY SURE. We can make it part of our experiments to help with your magic." Anna had tossed all of her things into half of the room, trying to make space for Elsa's things if she would change her mind. "See, I made plenty of space for you, too."

Elsa smiled a little and then frowned at the mess on the other half of the room. _How does Anna find anything in all that? _"I...I'll sleep here, on the carpet. How's that? I don't want to ask Kai to help us drag all the furniture from my room in here and back again..."

"But I don't want you to sleep on the floor," Anna protested. "You sleep lousy enough as it is!" _She slept fine when we were sitting on the floor in her room yesterday though...maybe that's better than nothing. I'll put a bunch of pillows and blankets and stuff out for her. _"Here. Okay, I'm setting a pillow fort up for you. You are not sleeping on just the carpet all night."

"...all right." Elsa couldn't protest any longer. _I want to make Anna happy, and it seems like staying here would make her happy. I'll just leave if I feel like I'll hurt Anna or ruin her things. _"I will stay for now, but if I think I might lose control, I'm going out in the hall."

"No. If you think you'll lose control and I don't wake up, come wake me up. You don't make mistakes unless you're scared or unhappy, and if you feel like that, then you need help." Anna dropped the armful of pillows she was holding and went over to Elsa. "Come on, Elsa, invite yourself in. You haven't got to wait in the doorway. Please?"

Elsa flinched when Anna squeezed her shoulder, but she did come in. _It's fine, Elsa. Anna isn't lying to you and pretending she wants you here. She loves you. The ice is behaving right now. _She didn't say anything, just stayed quiet and helped Anna arrange the pillows on the floor.

"Promise you'll wake me up if you're upset about _anything _during the night?" Anna asked hopefully. "Please, Elsa. I don't mind. I want to help." When Elsa didn't say anything, Anna added, "If you can't do that, I'm going to sit up all night to make sure you're okay."

"...I do not want you to do that! You need to sleep."

"So do you. I sleep fine though most of the time. You don't. So wake me up and ask for help," Anna told her firmly. "Please, Elsa. It's _not _a bother, and it's _not _bad to need some help."

"Most of the time?" Elsa had immediately latched on to Anna's comment that she slept well _most _of the time, not _all _the time. Anna _has bad dreams sometimes too? Why? Is that normal? I should be there to help _her _if that's the case..._

"Yes, so please, Elsa, wake me up and ask for help if you're upset," Anna told her, not quite catching Elsa's meaning. "Would you like me to read something to you before we go to sleep like you did to me when we were little?" When Elsa didn't answer, Anna sighed. _What's wrong now? I just wish I knew better what to do. Elsa's not crying, but she looks like she might. _"Just...lie down, okay? I'll stay right here 'til you fall asleep."

Elsa curled up on the pillow-bed Anna had set up for her and pulled a blanket over her face. _I need to say _something. _Anna didn't have to let me in here. Why am I like this right now? I should be happy. _The idea that she could create some icy decorations for Anna's room flitted through her mind, and she balled her hands into fists. _No, Elsa. You are _not _doing that, especially not right now._

_I shouldn't even be in here. I...I can't sleep here. _Elsa couldn't help remembering little Anna being unconscious sleeping for _so long _after the accident. _I got to tell her goodbye but I couldn't stay any longer and I _made her sad _and I couldn't explain what-_

"I don't know what you're thinking about, but it's okay now," Anna's gentle voice broke into Elsa's inner monologue. _I see snowflakes around Elsa, she must be upset. "_We're safe and together again. Please don't clam up and hold stuff in. It's bad for you and you _know _I don't mind listening."

_I can't talk right now. I'm sorry. I do know that. _Elsa felt a warm hand stroking her hair and she finally let herself cry. _Does it matter if I understand why Anna still cares? I don't know. I trust her. What's wrong with me? I talked to her earlier._

_You just don't want to have to burden her with your problems, that's all. She's done too much for you already. And you are embarrassed for being messed up in the first place. _"I...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Anna continued sitting next to Elsa and just stroking her hair. "I, am gonna tell you a story," she announced, as if everything were perfectly fine and Elsa was not lying there making it snow and being upset. _I am going to make Elsa feel better before she falls asleep. So there. Maybe that'll help her not have nightmares. _Anna proceeded to start recounting one of the fairy tales she really liked, one of the ones little Elsa had scoffed at for being 'mushy', hoping it might make present day Elsa laugh or pick on it too.

Elsa did not laugh or verbally pick on the story, but she relaxed and the snowflakes floating around her disappeared as the minutes passed. _This story is silly. Anna still likes it? She's probably trying to make me laugh. And she's stroking my hair. Mama did that before Anna was born a lot. I can remember. _Elsa turned over and looked up at her little sister. "Anna...?"

"Mmhmm? Elsa, you're interrupting the story," Anna teased, but she gave Elsa a reassuring smile to make sure Elsa knew she didn't mind. She brushed Elsa's tears away and just waited for her to say whatever it was she needed to.

"I just...I guess I just wanted to say thank you for making me feel _wanted_. Even if I don't understand why you still care. And I...I'm sorry I couldn't explain why I abandoned you when we were little. I know I made you upset," Elsa said quickly before she could change her mind. _See, you talk to Anna and it's fine. _"I feel like I don't deserve to s-stay in here. That is why I think I should l-leave." _There. I told her. _Elsa silently wondered if Anna would still want to be her friend if she wasn't her sister and didn't feel any "obligation" to help.

"What happened when we were little wasn't your fault, Elsa. You know that. Please don't apologize for _anything _having to do with that. And as for 'deserving' to stay in here...Elsa, can't you see what happened to you wasn't right? You were just a little kid. How can trying to be a good girl and obeying your parents make you not deserve to stay in here now...?" Anna asked.

"Aren't you tired of trying to help me _all the time_? I love being with you, but..." Elsa trailed off, unsure what else to say. _What if I chase her away? I don't want Anna to make me go away._

"No way. I've missed you so much and now I get to spend lots of time with you. Having you around again is like a great big present to me. Go to sleep. You're safe and you're not alone anymore." Anna tucked the blanket around Elsa and was relieved to see her sister's lopsided smile. "Good night, Elsa."

_I'm not alone. I'm not alone. _Elsa hesitantly reached for Anna's hand and closed her eyes. _I think Anna is right that the gloves don't do a thing, but...I still don't feel comfortable taking them off all the time. _She abruptly sat up and stared at Anna as another thought popped into her head, not for the first time. "May I ask you something?"

"Absolutely! You can ask anything you want."

"What _are _my limits? Bitterly cold temperatures can make metal brittle and eventually break. Can...can _I _do that?" Elsa's small dark streak dearly wanted to go down to that dungeon cell and destroy those shackles she despised so much. Just those. Whatever ones that were in the other cells could stay. Still, that was something she would have to do alone if she ever did. _I don't want Anna to know how much that hurt. Why didn't I make a fuss or...or just _say _something? I just...froze. No pun intended._

_If you go down there alone you will probably freak out. So you certainly can't destroy that even if you wanted to, Elsa. You shouldn't do that anyways. What if you _do _get out of control and have to be locked up?_

_Well, if I did get completely out of control, probably no one could get me in there anyway, _Elsa thought darkly. _So it would not matter._

Anna hesitated, unsure as to why shy, hesitant Elsa would ask that in the first place, especially in that slightly frustrated angry-hurt tone she hadn't heard from Elsa before. _If I say yes, she might panic. If I say no, I'd be lying. I _do _think she could do that if she wanted. I mean, I'm not sure, but... _"Well, I'm not sure, but you probably could. Maybe you could just try to and experiment with some old junk metal or something," she suggested finally. "What made you ask all of a sudden?"

"I just...I don't think I want to talk about it right now. But...thank you." Elsa really did not want to discuss her thoughts about destroying those things in that cell one bit; she honestly didn't understand her own feelings about it and she didn't want to stick Anna with trying to interpret them. _Anna thinks I can, though. When...if...I feel confident enough to go down there alone...I will. _

_I _will. _So there. _"Good night, Anna. Thank you."

Anna was still a little confused, but she just patted Elsa's shoulder and tucked the blanket around her again. "Good night, Elsa. Remember I'm right here if you need me, okay?"

"...Okay." _The magic is controlled right now. It will be fine as long as Anna is here, I think._

**_A_/N: So Anna and Elsa are trying to figure things out:) Elsa still is not okay and she won't be for awhile, but she's better-she's investigating and studying letters and the like more clearly (hence noticing something being off) and she's starting to question her magic a little more.:)**

**Next chapter coming soon!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**GeekGirl2- They really do need a plan, because right now Elsa would not be able to sway people on the fence about her magic, and most likely if _Elsa _seems untrusting if it, then other people will be too./ They'll figure something out:) Anna is still trying to convince her to go off somewhere to practice since she doesn't want Elsa hurting for months longer when they know exactly what needs to be done to stop that. I thought Anna would totally give Elsa something like the bracelet, and it makes Elsa herself feel better when she looks at it.:) With Anna there to help, the two of them might be able to find more evidence faster, and also Elsa can work better...she doesn't mind the paperwork, but nobody can work properly when they are depressed and stressed out. I'm sure Anna simply knowing her secret helps some, because that burden of Anna potentially finding out 'what's wrong' isn't there anymore, even if she still worries what Anna may think. I figured Anna would immediately try to convince Elsa to come back to their old room, and it would just take quite a bit of convincing to get Elsa to do so.:) Right now Elsa is just thinking she doesn't want Anna down there and therefore thinks she needs to destroy them by herself. (Though, of course, Anna's already _been _in the dungeon to help her get out before.) Elsa genuinely wants her parents to be alive but she's scared of them coming back, and she would definitely be apologizing a million times over if she were fussed at. But since Anna _knows _now, Anna could play mediator and try to explain everything.:) I deleted the spammy reviews, no worries about soapboxing! I don't understand why some people waste time "reviewing" to write spam comments...**

**Elsa Tomago-They will! Soon:) Anna did convince Elsa to at least sleep in their old room finally, so they'll actually move Elsa's things sometime soon.:)**

**On to the story!**

Anna was delighted the next morning to find Elsa still sleeping peacefully on the pillows on the floor, curled up in a ball with her blanket pulled to her chin. _Well, I don't know if she stayed asleep _all _night, but she was okay until I fell asleep and she's okay now. I'm not waking her up. _Anna knew Elsa usually got up at what she considered a horridly early time in the morning, but no way was she waking Elsa up when it was obvious she was sleeping peacefully for once. Anna tiptoed around the room quietly as she got dressed and brushed her hair.

Elsa's quiet voice sounded behind Anna as she was almost finished braiding her hair into pigtails. "Good morning, Anna." _I slept way too late if Anna is already up..._

"Hey, Elsa! How are you feeling this morning? You looked like you were comfy sleeping, so I didn't wanna wake you up." Anna tied off the braid and then plopped next to Elsa.

"...Safe. And...and not lonely." Elsa spoke so quietly Anna could barely hear her, but she had a shy smile on her face, even if she didn't seem to want to meet her sister's eyes. _I feel _happy. _I did wake up in the middle of the night, but I just got up and went to sit by Anna's bed for awhile. I went back to sleep by myself without waking her up and it was okay. I don't mind being by myself in general, but I like being able to be near Anna all the same. _Elsa was not sure she understood why she genuinely liked being by herself sometimes but also could feel very lonely if she had no way to be near Anna.

Anna grabbed the hairbrush and started gently brushing Elsa's long thick hair, half expecting Elsa to make her stop, but Elsa just stiffened for a moment and then relaxed again. "I'm glad you're feeling better today! Did you wake up during the night at all and not tell me? I swear I'm not fussing, I just wanna know so we can make sure we're doing the right things to help you."

Elsa's shoulders drooped, which told Anna everything she needed to know. _I'm sorry, Anna. I just didn't want to wake you up..._

"Why? I told you I didn't mind!" Anna sounded a bit frustrated, and Elsa flinched. "I'm sorry, Elsa, I'm not mad. I'm just frustrated because I want to do everything possible to help. I haven't got any information that says what helps and what doesn't, I just have you, so you've got to tell me so I can do my best to help you!"

"I...I just...it wasn't even a nightmare. I just woke up during the night a-and I...didn't feel well, so I went to sit on the floor by your bed to remind myself you were there. After awhile I went back to sleep. That was all." Elsa looked down at her clasped hands resting in her lap. _That sounds ridiculous. Who does that? I don't even understand it._

"Is waking up in the middle of the night _not _from a bad dream normal for you?" Anna asked now, stopping brushing Elsa's hair as she scooted around so she was in front of Elsa.

Elsa hesitated, but then nodded, figuring Anna would probably find out soon enough anyway. "I wasn't upset, Anna. You being nearby just...helped me feel better anyway."

"Did you wake up because you were hurting?" Anna asked carefully.

"I don't know."

Anna frowned, suspicious that Elsa might feel worse magic-wise than she let on and that was what had woken her up, considering she claimed to not have been upset. _And, even if it's 'just' that, it's easy to feel lonely or scared in the dark at night even if you don't usually feel like that otherwise. It's probably worse for Elsa since she feels like that a lot. _"Elsa, do you think that you woke up because your magic was hurting you?"

Elsa fiddled with the beads on her bracelet, looking like she might be about to pick at her wrist again. Anna snatched Elsa's hand away before she could hurt anything and just hugged her tightly. "What...why..."

"Don't even _think _about doing that. I won't let you. Obviously my suspicion must be right or you wouldn't have reacted like that since you were fine a couple minutes ago." Anna was glad Elsa wasn't struggling to get away from her this time; she actually seemed mostly relaxed, and she wasn't freezing to touch, either. "Please, Elsa, you've got to let the rest of that...backlog of magic out. I don't want you hurting yourself anymore!"

_I don't even know why I'm doing this. I know Anna could get me out of the castle gates up into the forest or mountains and back without me having to talk to people and be recognized. But I'm still scared and...I don't know. Is Anna right? Does part of me _want _it to hurt because I feel like I deserve it and I just want to feel something besides the...other kind of hurt? _Elsa buried her face in Anna's shoulder and didn't say anything. _Did Mama and Papa even want me? Why would they want a broken thing that does awful things to herself like me? They would probably be mortified. Or not even believe me._

_You wouldn't even be able to explain or admit it and you know it. And you _know _you would just be told, Pull yourself together, Elsa. Conceal it, don't feel it._

_I can't not feel. I've never been able to do that. But Anna still loves me even if I'm...like this. I know that._

Anna just sat there quietly with Elsa until Gerda brought them breakfast. "Hey, Elsa, Gerda has breakfast for us. Let's eat, okay?" She helped Elsa to her feet and took her over to the window seat. "Sit here. We have honey biscuits and bacon and eggs."

Elsa sat; then just told Gerda thank you. _I need to figure out how to make myself not be like this. I want to make Anna happy. She knows my ice hurts me still and that's making her sad that I can't-won't-do anything about it. _Elsa felt her magic tingling in her fingers, pleased at the idea that its owner might use it more, and she balled her hands into fists. _No. Not right now, ice._

Elsa thought her powers must hate belonging to someone like her. Then she wondered if they _were _oddly doing what she wanted rather than saying _You are hurting yourself by holding it in, use it more! _by making the ice hurt inside. That idea disturbed her. She knew her magic was directly linked with her emotions, and the thought that those feelings that she didn't deserve to feel better, that she was bad and should be hurt, might have something to do with the ice hurting too rather frightened her. _Do I tell Anna that? I can't. I'll end up disappointing her, won't I?_

_But she always helps. You should tell her, Elsa._

_I won't! I'll just worry Anna more than I already do. I hate seeing her upset._

Anna gobbled up her breakfast and just sat next to Elsa while she slowly finished hers. _Elsa's thinking about something that worries her. She was happy when she woke up...well maybe not _happy, _but happy for the way Elsa usually is, but now she's upset again. _"Elsa, what are you thinking about?"

"...I don't want to talk about it."

"I know, but you were okay when you woke up and now you aren't. So can you please tell me what's wrong?" Anna hesitated before asking her next question. "Do...do you think you could _share _your magic with me? Maybe I could help you use it better if I had some too. Besides-"

"_No. _I can't, and even if I could, I would never, _ever_ do that!" Elsa interrupted, much to Anna's surprise. _Why on earth would Anna even want it?! _"You...you wanted me to share it when we were little, too."

"Elsa, I want my memories of your magic back," Anna stated quietly. "There's so much I don't remember and I hate it. And I don't know what's real in my memories and what isn't. I know _you _are real, but it's weird knowing my childhood memories of us playing together are all wrong and mixed up because your magic is missing." _I want to go visit the trolls Elsa mentioned before._

Elsa abruptly stood up and said she was going to go get dressed in her room. _Anna deserves to have her memories back. I should let Anna go visit them. I'm just...I'm terrified of those creatures. I don't want to lose Anna again. _She could hear Anna waiting not very patiently outside the room, and she sighed. _What can I tell her?_

"There you are!" Anna exclaimed when Elsa came out a few minutes later. "I still get so worried about you when you haven't got anyone with you. Are you okay?"

Elsa nodded and then squared her shoulders and looked Anna right in the eyes. _Tell her, Elsa. That is the least you can do after everything Anna has done for you. _"I have d-decided I will go visit the trolls with you. Soon. I do not know if they c-can give your memories back, but you deserve for us to at l-least try." Elsa sounded shaky and unsure, but clearly determined.

Anna squealed and impulsively pounced on Elsa with a hug, which made her yelp. "Oh goody! Goody goody gumdrops! Can we go today, Elsa? Can we can we can we? Oh I'm so excited! You can magic practice out there too! It's going to be amazing!" Anna continued bouncing on her toes as she grabbed a very startled Elsa by the hand and practically dragged her back down the hall to her room. "I'm gonna start packing traveling things right now!"

_Well I suppose that must have been the right thing to say. I haven't seen Anna excited like this since...well, since before the accident. _Elsa retreated to a corner of Anna's room and watched Anna bustle around and throw items here and there willy-nilly as she searched for 'traveling things'. _I can't do this. I'm going to set one foot outside the castle walls and completely freak out. Someone is going to realize it's the crown princess and find out what's wrong with me. "_An...Anna?"

"Yeah? Elsa, what do you think of this outfit? Is this a good traveling outfit?" Anna held up her favorite dress.

"I... I don't...know. Anna, I...I need..." _Spit it out, Elsa. Something, at least. You don't know what you need. _Elsa pulled her knees to her chest and didn't say anything else. _I need to get it together, and I don't know how. And I have only until I turn twenty-one to do it. I will not make our family look bad in public, I can't, I won't._

_She's terrified and I'm bouncing around the room. That's not helping. _Anna tossed the dress on her bed and went to sit beside her sister again. "What do you need, Elsa?" Anna asked gently. "You can tell me."

"I don't _know. _I need to...not be me. I'll ruin everything if I don't, and I want to do this for you, but...I'm scared," Elsa answered honestly, glad that Anna had stopped bouncing around the room, which had been making her nervous. She looked down at her hands and sighed. _What am I supposed to do? Certainly panicking in public is very very bad. I can't guarantee that won't happen. Maybe in the far future, but not right now..._ An odd idea struck her, and she hesitantly looked up at Anna. "What if...what if Kai took us hidden in a wagon, as if we were one of the delivery people leaving? And you knocked me out so I _can't _panic and give us away?"

"What the heck, Elsa?! I'm not going to purposely knock you out! It'd hurt you and you might get a concussion and besides, you wouldn't _stay _unconscious for all that time. At least I should certainly hope not!" Anna paused as a slightly different-safer-option popped into her head. _Elsa definitely has the base of a good idea to get in and out unnoticed though. I guess I know I can't expect Elsa to leave here without freaking out right now. Not yet. _"What about a sleeping pill or some other such thing that'd just put you to sleep for awhile? We could be in the back of the wagon hidden under some hay or something. I'd keep you safe, I promise."

"I don't take any sort of drug medicine. I won't know what I'm doing and it impairs your judgement. I don't think that is a good idea..." Elsa knew Gerda had offered her a sleeping draught many times, knowing she couldn't sleep well, hoping it would help. But she always said no, not trusting herself to be remotely in control if she did. _Not that I could control it at all before..._

"You had some in the hot chocolate I gave you...after. It seemed to help and you stayed resting for hours. And you didn't make any power mistakes at all, not one. Gerda said she knew you didn't usually take any but that she also knew it would help and those were extra-exta-extenuating circumstances. She just mixed it with hot chocolate so you'd drink it. Can...can you remember?" Anna asked cautiously.

Elsa's cheeks turned red, but she slowly nodded. _I don't remember well, but I can remember someone giving me something sweet and chocolatey. That and I felt...peaceful and safe for the first time in...I don't know how long. Forever, I suppose. _"I thought you were holding me and it made me feel better because...because someone _loved _me and wasn't going t-to...leave me alone or throw me away or abandon m-me again." _Why did I tell Anna that? It sounds pitiful. And you _know _your parents didn't mean for you to feel like that. It just...happened. Right? Isn't that true? _"I...I thought it was a dream."

Anna put her arm around Elsa again and gave her a reassuring squeeze. "That's right. I was holding you. I'm glad it made you feel better. That was _not _a dream." She smiled when Elsa slowly let herself rest her head on her shoulder. _She must be happy right now. Or at least feeling calm and safe. _"I mentioned it as proof that taking something to help you sleep for awhile isn't bad and it doesn't make your magic go nuts, either."

"What if I _do _mess up? Anna, if I make _one mistake _in public, even if no one realizes who I am, even if it doesn't hurt anyone or damage anything..." Elsa trailed off. _"_Not everyone is as understanding of...strange, different oddities as you."

Anna gulped. Sure, she loved Elsa and she was sure other people would too, but...if the wrong people saw magic, she also knew Elsa had a point. They could end up causing minor panic at best and a major international incident at worst. They would be putting Elsa in danger. And Elsa didn't know how to-and probably wouldn't-defend herself if they ran into trouble, unless Elsa's powers reacted instinctively to protect her, and Anna definitely did not trust that to happen. _I need to help Elsa learn how to defend herself before I set one toe out of here with her. _"Elsa, let's ask Kai and Gerda for suggestions before we plan further. Right now let's go practice your magic and then go study Dad's old letters from planning their trip."

_Anna knows I'm right. She's mad about it but she knows. _Elsa stood up and nodded. "I...I can do that."

* * *

"Again," Anna ordered awhile later. "You're doing great!" she added, smiling encouragingly at Elsa. It had taken quite a bit of coaxing, but she had finally gotten Elsa to try shooting icicles at the three targets Kai had hung on the wall in their 'magic practice room'. "Dissolve those three and shoot again, okay?"

Elsa did not answer verbally, but she nodded. _This is actually...fun? Is that bad? _The tiny bit of Elsa that genuinely wanted to experiment with her magic and release all the pent-up frustration and hurt _loved _this. She was _good _at something! It was almost as if the ice was reacting more with her thoughts than her actual actions too-Elsa knew she certainly could not aim and shoot a real gun this easily, but hitting the targets with her magic was simple. A few tries and she was hitting the bullseye every time. "I didn't know I could do this!"

Anna beamed. _Elsa's happy! She's standing up straighter, but not all stiff like she usually is either. _"Now you do! You're amazing, Elsa!"

Elsa's pale cheeks turned pink. Anna's compliments embarrassed her a bit, but she couldn't deny that it also made her feel all warm and cozy and just plain _better. _She closed her eyes and impulsively ran her bare hands over her dress, remembering the time she'd accidentally made a dress with her magic as a child. _I want an ice-dress again! Anna wouldn't mind. I can't leave this room in such a thing, but I can practice in it._

"Well then. The Snow Queen makes an appearance," Anna said with a grin. "You look like a fairy tale character, Elsa. So pretty! Can I have a sparkly dress too? And can I touch it?"

Elsa's happy smile grew bigger. _I feel _amazing _in this. Like I'm really...me. _She looked down at her sparkling dress and then back at Anna. Somehow her stockings and shoes had disappeared in the transformation process, and Elsa was puzzled at that. "Where did my shoes go?"

Anna began cracking up laughing. "Oh my gosh, Elsa. You just disintegrated your shoes. You're barefoot!" Worried she might hurt Elsa's feelings by laughing, she tried to stop, but she couldn't. "I'm sorry, Elsa, it's just-oh, I think I have just seen the real Elsa. She likes extremely extra fancy sparkly dresses and is a bit daring but not a lot. Lookit at that cape!"

But Elsa turned red and then started laughing too. It _was _funny. If it had been anyone but Anna seeing her right then, she would have been mortified, but it was just her trustworthy, caring little sister. She felt pretty for once, even if she couldn't really see what she looked like and would never be able to let anyone else see her like this. _Thank you, Anna. Maybe I will practice like this from now on._

"Can I touch the ice-fabric, Elsa? Pleeeeaaaseeee? It looks so pretty!" Anna wanted an ice-dress too, although she was quite certain if _she _wore a dress and fancy cape like that, she would just trip over it.

Elsa instinctively backed up a few steps. _I don't want to hurt her. It's bad enough I let her talk me into practicing today without Anna in her armor. _"No. I don't think it's safe..."

"Okay. Okay, Elsa, it's okay. I'm not going to make you," Anna said quickly. "You look so pretty and happy right now." _I'm not gonna mess that up for her. She actually looks comfortable in her own skin for once. _Usually Elsa seemed stiff and uncomfortable to Anna, even when she smiled. Right now it seemed like her sister was genuinely at home in her own skin, even if she knew Elsa's magic must still be hurting her.

Elsa turned a deeper red, but she just whispered a thank-you. "Let's go try to find those letters. Is that okay with you?"

"Sure. You did a really good job today with your magic, Elsa!" Anna was so relieved Elsa seemed a little pleased with herself about the sparkly ice-dress. She was not going to suggest Elsa change in case someone saw her.

Elsa put her hand to her shoulder and started trying to revert the dress back to its original state, but then yelped when she realized dissolving the dress meant she was just dissolving her clothes entirely. It seemed the icy transformation was permanent and the ordinary dress had been destroyed in the process. "Will you, um...bring some other clothes from my room, I...it seems that I can't...put it back..." Elsa said awkwardly. _What a waste! And where did my shoes go? Did they...magic into the dress? I'm so confused._

"Why not leave that dress on? You look pretty in it and I think you know it," Anna suggested.

"No. Someone might see me!" Elsa clasped her hands close against her chest, feeling very, very self-conscious even though she genuinely loved her creation. "Anna, please? Please don't make me leave this room dressed in this. I...I'll go fetch chocolates from downstairs for you?"

Anna sensed Elsa's unease and distress growing and she quickly assured Elsa she would go grab another outfit for her. Elsa instantly relaxed. "I'll be right back! It's okay, I'm not gonna make you do that whether you bring me chocolate or not."

Elsa hesitated before icing the floor after Anna had left the room and then gracefully skated about, her sparkly cape flowing behind her. Without Anna in the room, she felt a bit more at ease about using her magic to create larger things in one go. Elsa's signature snowflake crackled above her on the ceiling, the icy prisms casting a soft rainbow glow from the sunlight through the window. _What do you think you're doing, Elsa? If your suspicions are correct and Mom and Dad are alive somewhere-or even if they are not and something else happened-they would be so disappointed in you right now. You're playing with the very thing that's wrong with you. And assuming they are dead you are not honoring their memory at all._

_But I'm happy. Anna makes me happy and she doesn't mind the ice. Is that so wrong? Anna said Mom and Dad would understand if they saw that she was helping me. What if Anna is wrong, though? Am I doing the wrong thing? _Elsa stopped skating and fingered the beads on her bracelet from Anna. Somehow that had remained intact despite the shoes mysteriously being destroyed. "Anna loves me. I just have to please her," she said to herself. "No one else. Even if we _did _somehow find our parents alive, she already knows about what's wrong with me now. There would be no point in taking Anna away from me again. No point at all."

_Papa would be scared I might hurt her though. I know that. He was scared of me himself. They both were. _I'm _scared of me. I'm sure that didn't help either. _Elsa buried her face in her hands and tried to think clearly. If she and Anna researched this and discovered foul play, she would need to be prepared to fight back. That prospect was just as terrifying to think about whether it was verbally or physically. If her parents really were dead, she wanted to at least honor them and give them a just closure. If they really were alive, she needed to be ready for the consequences of letting Anna know about her secret.

_I can't do this. I can't. I am going to mess it all up and if they're alive they are going to take Anna away from me again. I'm so scared. If I lose Anna again..._

_There's no point to that, Elsa! You _know _that. Stop freaking yourself out._

_I don't want to end up in that dungeon cell again!_

_I need to go find Anna. She would help me. _In a flash Elsa had peeked out into the empty hall and darted back to her room, where she thought Anna would be to get the outfit she had asked for. The "danger" of Anna touching the ice-dress forgotten, Elsa ran right into Anna's arms and hid her face in Anna's warm shoulder. _Anna's right here. She wouldn't let anything happen to me._

Anna was very surprised, but she tossed the clothes on Elsa's bed and hugged her close. Elsa was chilly but not freezing to touch; her magical sparkly dress was just cool. "Hey, Elsa. You came over here after all," she said calmly. "Your dress isn't at all cold by the way. It's just cool temperature-wise." _What frightened her enough to make her come over here by herself? I don't get it... _"And I'm glad you came to find me instead of staying by yourself in the other room."

Elsa was quiet, tiny snowflakes floating around her and icy footprints marking where she had stepped. Anna wondered if her sister even knew she had done that, but she did not comment. Elsa had come to find help on her own and Anna was _not _going to risk chasing her away. _I need to figure out a better way for Elsa to defend herself than shooting icicles though. I can't see her purposely using her magic that way to fight, since she knows that _would _hurt someone. Good grief, Elsa could easily kill somebody that way if she wanted to. _Anna realized this was probably the very knowledge that had terrified Elsa in the first place and made her willing to stay in that room for so long. _Elsa saw little me hurt by something she did that nobody else can do, and nobody really helped her, either. Mom and Dad were as scared as she was, probably. Which probably scared little Elsa more. That doesn't excuse lying to me and keeping Elsa isolated from everyone, but I can sort of understand it. None of them knew what to do. I just can't understand not trying something else once it was obvious staying in her room alone wasn't helping._

Anna was determined to not let Elsa think of herself as dangerous anymore, even if a bit of her knew Elsa's powers had the potential to be dangerous if she wasn't able to control it. Or if they belonged to someone not so cautious as Elsa. Anna just didn't care. Elsa was still just Elsa to her, magic or not. _Besides, how can something that makes such a pretty thing as Elsa's ice-dress be bad? She's the _perfect _person to have potentially dangerous magic because she will use it for good things if she has the chance. Who knows, maybe she has something really special to do. _"Hey, Elsa? I wanna tell you something."

"...I'm listening." Elsa didn't move from her safe spot with Anna holding her. If the ice-dress wasn't cold, it wouldn't hurt Anna, and she could hold the rest of her magic inside right now. _Anna knows what's wrong with me now. She won't leave me even if we somehow found our parents alive and they wanted to separate us again. It's just..._

"Elsa, I think Kai's icicle shooting idea is great control practice, but it's not really helping you learn to defend yourself in, like, a real-life bad situation since I know you don't want to hurt anybody. You need some defense skills and the shooting is kinda more _of_fensive than _de_fensive. Can you think of anything your magic might be able to do that just protects you without having to hurt whoever is after you?" Anna spoke gently but firmly. "Maybe ice shields? Making yourself freezing to touch on purpose? I'm sure you could do those things even !"

_What? Anna acts like she assumes I can do anything. I'm so confused. _"I...I'm not sure. I don't know if my ice is strong enough to stop a normal weapon. I've never even thought about it..." Elsa pulled away and backed up several feet, moving her flowing cape aside so she wouldn't trip. An instant later a simple translucent ice barrier went up between her and Anna. _"_Like...like that?" _I could make a much bigger one than that! I could cover the castle if I wanted...maybe more._

_No Elsa! That's bad. Don't even think about it! You absolutely cannot let out that much at once. It's too dangerous. _Elsa balled her hands into fists and stared at her ice. _Why? Why do I even have this? There has to be some reason..._

"Yup! Cool, Elsa! No pun intended," Anna said happily. _If Elsa would just experiment freely and let her magic out more she would probably quickly get so much better at controlling it. And it wouldn't hurt her anymore either. _"How much more magic needs to come out so it's not hurting you anymore?"

Elsa answered honestly. "I don't know, but...a lot..." Even Elsa, who had zero knowledge of the exact scale of her powers, could easily tell that there was a _lot. _She scrunched her eyes shut and concentrated on dissolving the ice barrier, thinking about Anna being there with her and that she loved Anna too.

Anna smiled, but then grew serious again. "Elsa, what does it feel like?"

_What it feels like? Why is she asking that? _"It feels like...like...oh, I don't even know how to describe it. It's this powerful force flowing through me that should just be...strong but cool and pleasant, but there...there's too much of it, so it hurts." Elsa looked down at her hands and studied them, as if that might give her the words to explain what her magic felt like to her. _Elsa, just talk. If it doesn't make sense, Anna will tell you. She will just still be nice about it. _"It isn't...upset and angry with me anymore though...Anna, am I making any sense?"

"Actually yes. Keep going, Elsa. Anything you say will be helpful. I want to hear everything so I can do better helping you," Anna told her.

"I...I'm used to it hurting now. I know it didn't when I was little, but...I think I'd feel odd if it didn't now..." Elsa frowned and tilted her head to one side, clearly thinking. "It feels achy, like you have exercised too much and everything inside hurts because you fell while doing it and now there are bruises all over. But...deep inside. In the bones. Not on the surface. And _tired. _Like how I would imagine a dammed river would feel after eroding its rocks in the riverbed for years if it...had feelings." She hesitantly glanced towards Anna, half-terrified of her reaction. "I'm sorry, Anna. You can ignore all of that." _I sound crazy. It probably makes no sense whatsoever..._

Anna mostly just looked horrified. Elsa felt like that _all the time_? How did she function day-to-day, constantly achy and tired and in pain? No wonder she didn't sleep properly! "Elsa, you can't stay like that until wintertime," she said quietly.

Elsa's blue eyes flashed. "I can. A few more months would make no difference after so long. It has just become worse and worse since...you know, the accident. It was not like that at first-eight year old me could no longer control it, but it didn't actually hurt. It's because I've been forcing it to stay inside for years. Torture the defective witch, why not, no one will notice or care. She deserves it anyway." Elsa's voice was flat, but Anna detected traces of sadness and frustration there.

Anna wondered why Elsa hadn't _told _someone she was in pain all this time. Then she thought it was probably because Elsa believed she deserved it or 'didn't want to cause a fuss'.

Ice crackled up the wall behind Elsa, and she backed up until she was in the opposite corner from Anna. _Stop it, Elsa. Now look what you've done._

"Elsa, you are _not _defective, or a witch, either. Come here and lie down and let some magic out. Make some soft fluffy snow." Anna grabbed a blanket to keep Elsa from saying _don't touch me_ and just picked her up. Elsa was still taller than her little sister, but she didn't weigh much and Anna could still carry her if she wanted. Anna deposited Elsa on the bed and sat next to her. "Snow. Do the magic, Elsa. If you're still worried about hurting me, just aim your hands on the opposite direction."

"Anna, I'm okay. I don't need to lie down, and I have work to do..." Elsa knew Anna did not believe that she was okay, so she didn't protest further. Besides it was kind of nice to just be resting. Especially with warm, caring Anna nearby. "I don't _need _to rest right now, but...this is nice," she said finally. _I still do not understand why Anna keeps staying with me, but I appreciate it so much. She makes me feel like I might actually be able to take care of things like I'm supposed to eventually._

Anna figured that was the best she was going to get at the moment from Elsa. At least she was willing to rest a bit. _We'll go search out those letters in a little while. Right now maybe I'll nap too. I'm tired. _While Anna loved getting to be around her big sister again, she had to admit that keeping a constant eye on Elsa and taking care of her was tiring. Still, she was _not _going to let Elsa be alone. Also, it was nice to feel needed, though Anna couldn't help worrying that once Elsa was okay again, she would no longer need her help. "This _is _nice. Let's nap for a bit and then go find those letters. How's that?"

"Okay."

* * *

"Good grief. I'm starting to get suspicious somebody was plotting to kill our whole family!" Anna exclaimed hours later. After locating the letters, the sisters had realized that originally all four of them had been invited on the fateful trip. There was the invitation to their cousin Rapunzel's wedding, of course, but there were also letters from the Duke of Weselton written in that condescendingly nice and polite tone he had.

"I can hear the man's voice in my head and I've not heard him in a decade," Elsa deadpanned. She sat back on her heels and bit her lip. "...Do you think Aunt Primrose could help us? She's our mother's sister, after all..." _Also, she knows what is wrong with me. I do know that. She and Uncle Thomas would support us._

"Maybe we could go visit and talk in person," Anna suggested. "It'd certainly be easier than waiting for letters back and forth. Does she know about your magic?"

Elsa nodded shyly. "I am not sure if Uncle Thomas does, though. I'd assume so, but I don't know." _I feel so wrong being in here... _Their parents' room was untouched since the funeral, and Elsa felt like she was disturbing something she shouldn't, as if their parents might appear and scold them for snooping.

Anna plopped into the big soft recliner she had always loved in her parents' bedroom ever since she was very little, the one she and little Elsa hadn't been allowed to sit in, _especially _unsupervised.

"Anna! You can't sit there!" Elsa squeaked.

Anna hopped up, startled. Elsa never bossed her around anymore. _It's weird, I never thought I'd say this, but I wish Elsa would pull the big sister card and be bossy again. I'd know she was starting to be okay if she did. _"Sorry. I sorta forgot we weren't supposed to sit there." Anna opened a large trinket box on the dresser. "Elsa, look at this! We _made _these!" Two painted wood ornaments were on top inside.

Elsa slowly stood up and walked over to see what Anna was looking at. "Mom should have thrown these away," she said abruptly, and returned to her spot on the rug going through the piles of letters. Elsa didn't reach for another letter; she pulled her knees to her chest and dropped her head. _What is wrong with me? They are just dumb little crafts Anna and I made when we were tiny. Why did Mom even keep those?_

"But Elsa, she kept the one YOU made, too. There's a Mother's Day card in here that you made _after _the accident-" Anna counted on her fingers, "When you were eleven. I'm telling you, Mom loved you too. They were really dumb and did very wrong things, but they did _not _hate you. Why would she keep stuff you made otherwise?" Finding these things was a great relief to Anna. _Mom loved Elsa too. That makes me so happy. Stupidity is not okay, but...this makes me pretty sure that if we got them back somehow, they would not make Elsa stay in her room if we prove she's able to control it. I mean, keeping Elsa in there was _making _her unable to control her powers._

_I didn't tell them goodbye. _Elsa didn't answer. _And I've been genuinely enjoying myself with Anna for all this time. _Elsa bolted out of the room and back to her own.

"Elsa! Don't you dare shut me out again!" Anna exclaimed as she tried to catch Elsa before she shut the door again.

_Click, _went the lock.

Anna figuratively froze and then banged on the door. "ELSA! You don't have to let me in, but _unlock the door_!" All Anna could think of was finding Elsa lying on the floor in that room with all the sad ice around her. _I don't trust Elsa in there alone with the door locked. She might...do something to herself or something._

_Anna sounds terrified. I...scared her. _Elsa unlocked the door but stayed in her room and didn't open the door. The _last _thing she wanted was to scare Anna. _I'm sorry. I don't think I should come out. _But the second Anna heard the door unlock, she threw the door open. Elsa stared at her and backed up a bit. _Why...?_

Anna did not barge in, but she planted herself in the doorway and wouldn't move. "You cannot stay in here alone when you're upset, _especially _with the door locked. So, I'm not going to force you to let me in, but I'm staying right here to make sure you're safe," she announced. _I'm not risking Elsa hurting herself again, and besides, even if she's trying to punish herself by staying away, I know she doesn't _really _want to. So I'll stay._

Elsa's eyes brightened a little, but then she turned away and gazed out her window. _I do want Anna to stay, but...am I supposed to let her? I don't trust myself right this second ice-wise, but she would be okay once I've calmed down better. _

_Elsa, _Anna _is exactly what calms you down and you know it. She fixes you._

_But Mom and Dad are gone and they didn't want me around her. _Anna's comments that their parents would understand if they actually saw that she could control it with Anna's help flitted through her mind. _If Anna is right, then I'm not dishonoring them by letting myself closer to her. Right? _Elsa rubbed her forehead; every time she argued with herself about this, she felt like she might give herself a headache. _I don't want Anna to leave! I really don't. What if me being like this chases her away?_

_She won't leave, she promised. _Elsa looked down at her bracelet from Anna.

"Elsa, what are you doing? Are you okay?"

Elsa's gaze snapped to Anna. Anna was still in the doorway but looked ready to bolt across the room to help if Elsa would let her. "Thinking."

"...you could come think in my room," Anna offered. _"_I'll even be quiet and not say anything." _Elsa must have tons of yucky memories of this room. She would be happier in our old one. _She held a hand out to Elsa. "Come on, Elsa. I don't mind, and if you're just punishing yourself somehow by staying in here because Mom and Dad made you stay in here 'cause they're ignorant, that's silly. I absolutely cannot believe they'd make you stay in here if we showed them you can control it when I'm allowed to help you." _I may not be a _hundred _percent sure, but I'm like...ninety percent sure. _"And if not I'd make such a stink they'd have to let me. So there."

Elsa took a few steps closer to Anna. "I...I just don't...don't want to dishonor their memory...And...a-and I don't want to...disappoint them," she whispered. _I want to go with Anna. I know I do. _"I don't have any way of knowing if...letting myself be around you does those things or not."

"But what about you? You matter. Don't you think you have a right to be happy? How is that disappointing in any way whatsoever?" Anna forced herself to stay in the doorway and not run over to Elsa with a hug. _At least she's being honest, I guess. That proves she doesn't want to be alone, she just thinks she's supposed to._

"I don't know." _I feel like I'll be disappointing no matter what I do because I'm...not made right. I can't change that. _Elsa thought about her sparkly pretty dress she'd made earlier, now hanging in her wardrobe. She genuinely loved that dress. Was that bad? Anna would tell her no. And she _knew _she could not lose her magic. If that was the case, then there was absolutely nothing she could do.

"Well, _I _want you to be happy. What would make you happy?"

_Being able to be...me without being dangerous or judged for being...different. Not being stuck here, and not being scared not to be. And most importantly, Anna. Anna makes me happy. I can at least tell Anna that part. _"You make me happy," Elsa said finally.

"That's a nice compliment, Elsa, but what else? That definitely can't be the only thing that helps you feel better, at least a little bit, or you'd have tried what you did a lot sooner," Anna said quietly.

Elsa flinched, but then she took a step closer to Anna. "I don't know. I was just trying to...exist another day, so I wouldn't leave you with _my _work." _There isn't anything else._

"Do you even like doing that stuff? Maybe you need some help with that, too!"

"It doesn't matter if I like it or not, it's my job, what I was born for." Elsa considered Anna's question a moment; then added, "I don't _mind _the paperwork. I can handle that fine. The idea of having to hold it together in a public setting with all eyes on me is terrifying, though. That part I would _hate._" _I don't know if I could even do that, and I know I'll have to eventually. Anna would be much better at it._

"Well, maybe if we go visit Aunt Primrose, she can help you. Like attend her and Uncle Thomas's meetings where you wouldn't really have to participate or something." Anna was glad Elsa was being honest and seemed to have an accurate picture of what she could handle easily. _Yep, sounds Elsa-y. She just needs some practice talking to people besides me though._

"...I think it's a very good idea, but..." Elsa hesitated and wrung her hands together, like she often did when nervous. _But I know I can't. If I tried that, I know I would make a power mistake because I'm scared, or worse...panic. _She did come out into the hallway with Anna, though.

"Maybe in a bit, when you're more confident using your magic," Anna suggested. "You are already way better, you know." _Now to just...make Elsa more confident in general. She always seems like she's worried about upsetting somebody or displeasing them and she has the most authority of anyone in the country. I know that's no good. Elsa can be her nice sweet self without letting people walk all over her, which is what will happen if she doesn't change._

_"_Anna, it's not only the magic..." Elsa didn't protest as her little sister yanked her down the hall. _I can talk to Anna, I can talk to Kai and Gerda, but..._

"I know. I might not _understand _it since I like to talk to people, but I know it makes you all anxious and uncomfortable. That's why we can start with small things. You can say 'Hi!' when we see a guard downstairs, or... something." It crossed Anna's mind that randomly going HI! at someone was not something Elsa would ever do, anxious or not.

Elsa's blue eyes twinkled. "I think randomly telling our staff and guards 'Hi!' in excited Anna fashion may disturb them coming from me," she said, sounding more amused than worried.

Anna laughed, glad Elsa didn't seem upset by the idea. "Imagine you silently creeping up on someone and greeting them with a noisy HI! HOW ARE YOU TODAY? You're always so quiet that that mental picture is awfully funny." She linked her arm with Elsa's and took her straight to their old room. "I know you don't want to right now, but I think the best thing would be to just go out to the marketplace in disguise or something. Like...just buying stuff or ordering food. That sort of thing. Simple stuff. There's no pressure for some leader image there, I'd be right there with you, and it's practice talking to people."

To Anna's surprise, Elsa actually nodded. _Anna's idea is good. I definitely don't trust myself to not make a mistake with my powers yet, but maybe we could visit some of the shops in the winter? Then if I did mess up, it would just look like we tracked snow inside, even if it was indoors. "_I think I could do that in the winter," she said. "That way if I make a mistake, it won't be noticeable."

The girls plopped on the soft carpet in Anna's room. "Waiting until winter to go visit the shops is fine, but we still gotta find a way to help you let all that backlog of magic out before then, Elsa," Anna told her firmly. "I don't want you hurting anymore. Knowing that hurts _me_. And I can't really do anything about it other than just...be here for you, which is making you feel better emotions-wise but isn't making your powers stop hurting you."

Elsa looked down at her hands and then back at Anna. _I should just trust her and do Anna's plan to get us out to the Valley of the Living Rock safely and unnoticed. She has not steered me wrong yet, not about how to deal with that magic I never asked for. Except...I will not risk taking Anna there. I can't. _"Anna?"

"What?"

"I just wanted you to know if I ever...leave without you, I _will _come back. I promise." _I have to go to that valley alone somehow. If I get confirmation those creatures can give Anna her memories back, then maybe I can take her._

**A/N: Will Anna and Elsa go visit Corona eventually? Yup but I won't say when:)**

**Next chapter coming soon!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**Elsa Tomago~ Elsa is doing lots better now, she's certainly not perfect but Anna has helped her tremendously:) I thought she deserved to be able to have her ice-dress now, even if she can't/won't wear it anywhere that someone besides Anna would see her.:) Anna and Elsa might go visit Corona eventually, but not right now, of course. And yeah, Elsa can't handle their parents returning right now...Anna could help mitigate issues, yes, but Elsa would backtrack quite a bit anyway since she wouldn't want to cause a fuss and doesn't know how to speak up for herself, really. **

**On to the story! It's a long chapter this time, I hope you enjoy:)**

Elsa knew she didn't trust herself to go gallivanting off in search of the rock trolls; that was something Anna would do, not her. Still, she couldn't shake the tentative plan from her mind, even days later. Anna deserved to have her memories back, and the only chance they had of doing that lay with the trolls. A bit of Elsa wondered if it would be so bad if people found out what was wrong with her. Couldn't she just ignore it? _No, Elsa, you can't._

_But I _could _defend myself. I just don't want to. _Elsa rested her head on her crossed arms atop her desk. There were too many papers now, with the letter research. _Think, Elsa. Anna's memories or figure out what happened to Mom and Dad. Choose. You can't do both at the same time. And the whole idea of the coronation terrifies me. All those _eyes. _Watching and waiting for a mistake._

"Elsa, you can take a break, you know," Anna pointed out. She was looking through letters as well, sprawled on Elsa's bed, but Anna's search system was not as organized as Elsa's. She had letters strewn all around her as she read through them. "You seem kind of...not upset, exactly, but worried and frustrated."

Elsa sighed and lifted her head. "I'm just trying to think. I feel like I can't concentrate on anything because there are so many important things that must be done." _Like getting your memories back and finding out the truth of what happened to Mom and Dad. Those things are my fault. "_And...and I selfishly keep wondering if there is anyone else like...like me," she whispered. "Is there another girl locked behind closed doors? Another someone scared everyone would hate her if anyone found out?" Elsa's big blue eyes were bright with tears. "And if there _aren't _more...why? Why me? What did I do to deserve it?"

Anna hopped off the bed, knocking a letter pile to the floor, which made both sisters cringe. "Oops. Never mind that, I'll fix it...Elsa, I don't know if there are more people with magic like you, but...does it really matter so much to you?" _Of course it does. Elsa wants there to be someone else like her so she feels like she's more 'normal', whatever that means. _Anna took Elsa's cold hands in hers; Elsa was wearing the flimsy lace gloves now, the ones Anna had given her the day after Anna had rescued her. "Hey, I forgot I gave you these."

Elsa smiled a bit. "I _know _they don't really do anything to keep the ice in, but I don't really feel comfortable to just go without yet either. I thought these were a good compromise, and yes I know it's ridiculous." Part of her wanted to just yank her hands away, but that would hurt Anna's feelings, and Elsa thought she could make the ice stay in for now.

"That's okay. I wish you'd just throw all those gloves away, but I won't...steal them. I thought about it, but I won't! Anyways," Anna said quickly, "I just wanted to say I think you have magic because you'll do something good and amazing with it. It's _not _a...a curse or a bad thing! It's a gift that nobody showed you how to use right."

Elsa closed her eyes and squeezed Anna's warm hands. _Why is Anna so sure? _"It doesn't feel like a gift," she said softly. "It's just the thing that took you away from me."

Anna gently turned one of Elsa's tense, cold hands palm up between them. "It didn't take me away from you. That was Mom and Dad and you being scared."

"Of my magic."

"Well, yeah, but it was a _mistake. _A really _bad _one. It's not your magic's fault. Make your snowflake, Elsa." Anna dearly wished she had just broken into Elsa's gilded prison long ago. Or that Elsa had made a power mistake in front of her one of the few times she'd seen her. Anna had long known her 'perfect big sister' wasn't perfect, but the girl standing in front of her now was _still _hurting so much, and she couldn't fix it. There was no way to undo their past so they hadn't spent so long apart. Anna dropped Elsa's hand and just hugged her as tightly as she could. _I'm sorry, Elsa. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you sooner._

Elsa was so startled she frosted the floor under her feet, unsure as to what had suddenly made Anna so upset. _What did I do? Did I make Anna sad? No I couldn't have, I didn't hurt her. Did I? _"Anna. Anna, whatever is wrong, it's okay. Can...can I help you somehow? Get you something? Are...are you hurt?" Elsa's awkward questions only made Anna cling to her tighter.

"No!" Anna scrunched her eyes shut and continued squishing Elsa. Elsa was there. She would be okay. She just needed more time. The image of sad, tired Elsa lying on the floor amidst all that ice with the puddle of blood under her arm flooded Anna's mind again. _What if I hadn't found her? What if...no. No no no. I'm not losing Elsa, she's right here. _Anna wished she could tell Elsa how much that had terrified her, but she knew that would just make Elsa feel more guilty than she already did. "I just don't want to lose you."

Elsa's first instinct was to just say _I'm sorry, _but that wasn't going to help. She bit her lip and then pulled away a little. _I know what Anna isn't saying, and I know I can't really fix that, either. _"Anna. I _know _what you're really thinking of and not wanting to tell me," she said slowly. "And...um...talking about what happened isn't going to make me do it again. If anything I...I think it makes it _less _likely. I don't want to scare you like that again." Elsa hesitated before adding, "You've shown me that holding horrible feelings in is bad. Please don't do it to yourself trying to protect me. If you can't tell me, I will understand, but go...go confide in Gerda, then. She wouldn't mind." _I feel like I talked too much, but I _have _to. I have to help Anna._

Anna really, really did not want to talk about this. _But what kind of message am I sending to Elsa if I won't talk to her about serious stuff that makes me really upset and hurt when I expect her to talk herself? And I _like _talking. Elsa doesn't. _"Are you _sure _discussing it won't make you try again?" she asked awkwardly.

Elsa looked down at her wrist and then back at Anna. "Yes," she answered honestly. _I made a promise, but I shouldn't have, probably. I won't make another promise I can't keep. _"I don't know if talking about it would _help, _but it won't make me more likely to...try a-again."

"You're _absolutely _sure?"

Elsa nodded and tried to give Anna a reassuring smile.

_Elsa's telling the truth. She may not want to talk about it, but she will and it's not gonna hurt her more. "_Okay, then that was both the worst and best day of my life so far! Worst because you did that and best because I got you back. I just..." Anna paused and then added, "I just can't stop _picturing _finding you like that. And thinking, what if I had got there too late, or you'd done something more quickly, um, deadly, than...than..."

"Than slicing my wrist with an ice shard?" Elsa's voice stayed steady, but she fiddled uncomfortably with the beads on her bracelet. _It's okay. Talking will help Anna. I can do this. _"Anna, you _didn't _get there too late. You saved me. For...for what it's worth, I'm glad you saved me now. I don't really remember much of what happened right after I did that, but I _do _remember thinking I might be dead because I felt..._peaceful. _It didn't hurt. I didn't believe it was possible anymore." She closed her eyes and took a few breaths before continuing. _Talk to Anna, Elsa. Keep going. _"You already know that part. I know it doesn't...fix what I did, but I'm so sorry I made you see that. I just..." _I don't even know what I was thinking. If I'd succeeded then poor Anna or Gerda or Kai would have been stuck finding a dead me. Frozen in all the ice, probably. How disturbing. I didn't even leave a note for Anna. _Elsa had the dark inkling that killing herself would _not_ have dissolved all that ice. "I don't think I was thinking much beyond you and Arendelle would be better off without me, I would stop hurting, but then I was...disappointed it didn't hurt when I...actually did it. I don't understand, really..." _Good grief. That makes no sense whatsoever. What is wrong with me? _Elsa fiddled nervously with her braid. She believed and trusted that Anna would not leave, but it just seemed all wrong to _tell _someone she had felt that awful. That wasn't something she could shut away, and it was just Anna, who she trusted implicitly, but it was still difficult to express. Elsa kept her gaze glued to the floor.

"But Elsa, what did you think I was gonna find? Did you think a...a d-dead Elsa is less painful than a hurt one?" Anna demanded. "I'd have seen you eventually!"

Elsa flinched, and she felt her ice settling painfully in her chest, struggling to obey her command to stay inside for now. _I won't hurt Anna. I won't. _Tiny snowflakes floated around her, and she resisted the urge to bolt into the bathroom and shut the door. _I need to stay, so Anna can talk. I have to. This I can do. _"I don't know. I don't have an explanation, and I know that is a poor excuse, but..._I don't know. _I wasn't thinking straight."

Anna knew she was not going to get any more of an explanation from Elsa, because Elsa didn't have one. "I just can't stop picturing it because you _really really _scared me. Finding you like that was terrifying. I didn't know what to do-I knew I needed to get help but I couldn't leave you lying there and there was blood and I was scared I'd hurt you more moving you but I _had _to because you couldn't stay there on the floor, and it was cold and icy in there which wasn't scary at all but I didn't know _why _even if it explained everything, and I was scared I might drop you-but I didn't-and then I found Gerda and she helped but you didn't wake up and I was scared you wouldn't but you seemed...happier." Anna took a big deep breath and bit her lip. Elsa was half smiling at her now and no longer studying the floor. _What's Elsa smiling about? I was scared I might make her cry or something._

"Oh Anna. Only you," Elsa said, and she hugged Anna close. _I could never just ramble on about something like that, but it's just so...Anna. I may not know how to help, but I can listen. I can give her a hug now, and I can sit with her like she does for me. _"Thank you for letting me listen."

"...What? I was scared I'd make you cry," Anna blurted, immediately regretting it. "I'm sorry. Ignore that."

Elsa pulled away and then sat on the carpet, patting a spot beside her to invite Anna to sit. She was smiling now even though she honestly _did _feel like crying, too, which was awfully confusing. Anna plopped next to her and clung to Elsa's arm. Elsa didn't try to pull away this time. "Is there anything else you needed to say?" Elsa asked after a moment.

"Yeah. Just that I'm glad you're my sister. You might not be okay and that makes me sad, but having you around makes me happy anyways. I missed you lots." Anna was delighted to see that the upset snowflakes were gone now, and Elsa was just her normal cool temperature again instead of freezing cold. "And I love you. Doesn't matter what you can or can't do or if you're okay or not. Not one bit."

Elsa was quiet, unsure what she should say. What would make Anna happy? _I don't know what to say. I can say 'Thank you', but it makes Anna sad if I say that because I say it a lot and then she tells me she's just doing what she should be doing. _Elsa dearly wished she were better with words. Anna might babble on and on sometimes, but at least she got her point across easily and didn't have trouble talking. _I could move at least some of my things to Anna's room. That would make Anna happy. It would probably help me, too, honestly. _"Maybe...maybe I could move my comfy chair into your room, so I could sleep in it? And some of my pillows and blankets?"

"Definitely!" Anna looked so excited, Elsa knew at once she had said the right thing. "Want to move your other things too? You don't really have _that _much stuff in here."

Elsa hesitated. "Maybe...maybe eventually?"

"Okay. You tell me when, Elsa." Anna smiled and continued holding onto Elsa's arm. Elsa was going to come back to their old room! Maybe not entirely, because she was still scared to, but she was very close to being convinced, Anna was _sure _of it. "I'm glad we talked about...that, too. You're a good listener. Well I guess that's a given, I know you listened all the time before even when you weren't saying anything."

_I did. I liked hearing your voice because it reminded me why I stayed and made me feel a little better usually. I love Anna. I would never, ever have lasted so long if she wasn't here. "_I didn't want to tell you to go away," Elsa said after a minute.

"I know you didn't." Anna grabbed one of the papers that had fallen on the floor, something having caught her eye. "Look at this. It's still _sealed_, and it's got my name _and _our parents' on it."

Elsa eyed the envelope warily. "There's no return address. Maybe we shouldn't open it." Elsa's cynical mind thought of the stories her father had told her when she was small, that sometimes bad people would try to send some kind of powdered poison and she should always be careful no matter how benign a piece of mail looked. _Still, he would have disposed of this if it were dangerous, right? And it does have Anna's name on it. It's addressed to her, too._

"Well maybe it's something important. It's got my name on it too, so it must have something to do with us. I'm opening it!" Anna ripped the envelope open and pulled out...folded paper. Elsa scooted closer so she could see better, and Anna unfolded the papers so they could both read it.

"This is six years old," Elsa whispered, feeling a little like something was crawling up her spine. The handwriting was blocky and a little large, as if whoever had written it hadn't been taught to write in cursive or script, or was a child. Elsa had first thought that perhaps it had been an old betrothal for Anna, and the writer was just some prince that was near the same age, hence the handwriting, but that definitely wasn't it. That sort of mail would have had a return address on it.

Anna's eyes filled with tears as she started reading aloud. " '_You must tell the princess about her sister. She must know the truth. It has been too long. Fear is Princess Elsa's enemy and death its consequence. We sense her power grows despite her efforts. Only the sunshine will save her.' _What the heck? Where did this come from and _who _wrote it?!" Anna demanded, not even particularly expecting an answer. The temperature abruptly plummeted, and Anna wished she had just read the letter by herself. "Elsa...?"

Elsa didn't answer; she hadn't moved from her spot near Anna, but she was hiding her face in her hands and crying. _Elsa, stop it. Anna is right here. She's here. You need to stop, you might hurt her. _The ice wanted out, and it was sad because she was forcing it to stay in. _No. I don't want it. I will not hurt her._

_...I can't think straight. _All Elsa could think of was Anna knocking on her door for years, begging her to come out. _"Please, can I just talk to her through the door?" "Elsa, you're strong. You can handle it."_

_No I can't. I never could. Papa, why did you believe that? I don't understand. I let you down, and I'm so sorry._

_He was scared. That's why he didn't open this. He was scared just like you and he didn't know what to do. _Elsa felt something warm and soft around her, and she instinctively tried to pull away. It was not safe for anyone to touch her right now. _"_An...Anna?"

"Yeah it's me. Elsa, it's _okay _now. Please don't shut me out again." Anna ignored the ice crackling beneath both of them and held shaking, freezing Elsa close. _Well, it's good there are blankets within easy reach in here. I can help. _Elsa struggled a bit more to get Anna to release her and then seemed to just give up. "See, we're safe now. And together. You aren't hurting me even though you're making magic mistakes right now. It's fine."

"You...you're shivering." Elsa thought her little sister was shivering, and she did not like that one bit. She should make Anna leave, make herself go retreat far far away somewhere. _I can't. I don't...I don't want to, either. I feel safe and warm, even if I'm brittle cold inside._

"You aren't hurting me," Anna repeated firmly. "You _are _really cold, but you are not hurting me. That's why we have blankets. They seem to help you feel better and I can touch you safely when you're freaking out even if you're freezing to touch." The snow falling around them seemed to be morphing the ice beneath them to soft snow, and Anna took that as a good sign. "There you go. That's good, Elsa."

Elsa kept her hands balled into fists, stubbornly keeping her palms pointed toward herself, just in case. It didn't _sound _like Anna was fibbing, but Anna also sounded a little far away too, and Elsa didn't trust herself right now at all. "An...Anna, you need t-to go into the hall. Now," she ordered shakily. _It's going to come out, I can't hold it back any longer._

_"_No! I'll stay right here. I trust you!"

"_Anna. _Get out!" Elsa had been able to hold any destructive explosion at bay the past few minutes, but she was still upset despite being calm enough to think clearly now, and the pressure wasn't letting up. "Let me go!" Elsa struggled frantically to make Anna release her, but the younger girl was stronger and held on tightly. "_You need to get out!_"

"But Elsa, I don't want to leave y-"

"ANNA! GET OUT!" Elsa's voice grew louder and more insistent, and she finally managed to pull herself free. _Elsa, make Anna get out! Just for a minute. Get her out of here! _With no way to really force Anna to leave the room, Elsa glanced around frantically. _Where do I go, what do I do..._

"Elsa, what's going on? Are you..." Anna trailed off as she stared at her sister; then slowly backed up. Elsa was almost glowing, blue sparks dancing around her fists, snow swirling around her. This didn't remotely scare Anna at all, but now she understood why Elsa had shouted for her to leave. _Elsa can't hold it in right now. That's the problem. She literally can't. _Anna backed into the hallway slowly, keeping a worried eye on Elsa.

Elsa scrunched her eyes shut, trying to hold it back, to dissolve the mess, and then there was a moment all was still.

"Els-" Anna felt a wave of burning cold slam into her, and ice crackled throughout Elsa's room and into the hallway.

_Oh no. Please let Anna be safe. I know she moved away but I don't know if it was enough, and...there's ice outside. On the walls. I can feel it. _Elsa felt tingly all over and overly aware of her magic now, the ice crackling on the floor freezing all the letters in place, the normal flow inside her that mysteriously hurt less now, the shards digging into her palms where she clenched her fists, the snow falling peacefully around her...and Anna. A magic thing was in or on Anna. Elsa's focus snapped to Anna. _I hit Anna. What happened? Is she okay?_

_I hit her. _I hit Anna. _I tried to warn her!_

_I hit Anna. "_Anna? Anna, I'm so sorry. Are...are you okay?"

Anna had stumbled to her knees, but she quickly scrambled up and tried to look as if nothing were wrong. "I'm fine! Really. It was just cold. But it's fine. Definitely. Nothing wrong at all!"

Elsa's heightened senses told her that _no, _everything was definitely _not _fine. _I need to get help. I hurt her. She claims to be fine, but... _"Anna..." Anna's white streak in her hair looked wider to Elsa. _Maybe I'm imagining things and scaring myself. Maybe Anna is okay._

_No she's not. You hurt her! Again. _"Where...where d-did I hit you?" Elsa's shaky whisper made Anna want to just run and hug her and say everything was fine.

Anna frowned. "I dunno if you did hit me actually. There was like a shockwave thing, _boom, _and it was cold..." she trailed off. Anna glanced over her shoulder and then back at Elsa, eyes wide. "If we don't want to share your secret yet, you gotta dissolve all this, Elsa! There are like five guards coming down the hall!" Anna whispered urgently.

_Oh no. _Elsa looked terrified and figuratively froze, standing stock still. "Anna, I...I..."

Anna wasted no time; she darted into Elsa's room and quickly locked the door. "What do you want me to do? Can you dissolve the magic right now? Do you _want _me to tell the truth and explain?"

Elsa shook her head hard. The ice _was _slowly thawing and disappearing now, despite her fear of others finding out about her magic, but it wasn't going to be fast enough. _But...I can thaw it even though I'm scared. Why? Is it just because Anna is here?_

_...That means if I _did _hurt her I should be able to fix it. _That thought made Elsa feel a tiny bit better. Maybe she shouldn't let Anna hug her anymore, but if she could thaw her magic, she should also be able to help Anna.

"Okay, just stay here, Elsa. I have an idea. Do your best to thaw the ice, but don't worry if you can't. Lock the door behind me. Just...lemme back in when I say they're gone, please?" Anna didn't wait for an answer; she just squeezed Elsa's arm and ran back into the hall.

_I hurt her, at least I _think _I did, and Anna is still trying to help. Even though she doesn't even want to hide my powers. _Elsa let herself wonder if Anna was somehow immune to being hurt by her magic now since she had hurt her before when they were little. Anna certainly wasn't acting like there was anything wrong... Elsa closed her eyes and concentrated on dissolving the ice. _Anna believes I can do it._

"...ice? I dunno what you're talking about. Why would there be ice outside on the castle walls or here in the hall? It's cool_er _outside today but not cold enough for sleet or something." Anna chattered away, the picture of innocence. _Come on, Elsa, you've almost got all of what was out here in the hall._

"Right here, Princess Anna! Wait..."

Anna tilted her head to one side as if she were puzzled. _Yay she did it! _"I don't see anything. Maybe you've been working too hard. Take a break!" She knew one of them, Erik, very well, and she gave him a pleading look saying _Please understand and make them go away. We're fine._

Erik nodded politely. "Men, let's go. The princess is fine. Perhaps something large was just knocked over and caused the noise we heard."

"...They are hiding something! There's something mighty strange going on with the royal family, especially Princess Elsa! What is wrong with her? No one ever sees her and-"

"_Don't _imply there's something wrong with-" Anna cut herself off and tried to look authoritative. "Go down the hall. I won't have anyone disturbing my sister when she's working and still in mourning, thank you very much." _There. That sounds reasonable._

Elsa heard snippets of the conversation as it moved away down the hall. _I knew it. Of course people don't like me. What is Anna doing?_

_Elsa, do your job. That's dissolving the ice. Let Anna handle it. You can trust her._

"...otherworldly things going on. It's a bit disturbing, and-"

"-not...place to question...don't stop...fired, then!"

Elsa could hear Anna starting to raise her voice. She hesitated; if she came out of her room now, she would probably make matters worse. The only worrisome thing was that Anna could be a bit overprotective and she might very well lash out if anything remotely negative was said about Elsa. _Well...that's bad, but it also makes me feel all warm and safe inside. And makes it easier to thaw my magic._

* * *

When Anna knocked a few minutes later, Elsa immediately answered. "What...what happened?" Elsa asked cautiously.

"Two of them started being really really rude so I fired them! I know Erik really well, so I told him to confine the two to their quarters unless you said otherwise." Anna trotted in, looking pleased with herself. "They made me so mad, dissing you! But it was kind of nice to have people listen to me easily. I mean I know I'm not gonna be queen myself but still." _Elsa did a great job, too. She got rid of all the ice as far as I can see! And I'm not going to tell her everything they said._

Elsa sighed. "You _should _be queen. I'm sure you would do a better job," she said softly.

"Maybe with talking to people, but you do better than me being organized and stuff," Anna informed her, smiling. "You'll do great, Elsa. Don't believe anything you might've heard. What _are _you gonna do with those two guards?"

"I'm...not sure. It sounds like we can't trust them, so I can't reinstate them. We definitely cannot have people we don't trust in a position meant to protect us. But if I let them leave, I'll be letting people that know too much of the ins and outs of the castle out..." Elsa clasped her hands together nervously. _I don't know what to do. _"I think...I think you made a good call for now though, Anna?"

"Thanks, Elsa! That means a lot coming from you. We can just ask Kai what we should do next." Anna tried unsuccessfully to suppress a shiver and sat in Elsa's comfy chair in the corner. _I think Elsa definitely hit me because it feels really weird. It's like normal temperature in here but inside I'm cold. _She did _not _want to tell Elsa that, not with the very likely possibility that Elsa would refuse to let herself be nearby anymore.

Elsa frowned and narrowed her eyes at her little sister. "You're shivering. I can...feel that something is not right," she whispered. _I hurt her. I've got to help. Do I make Anna leave? No that will hurt both of us and won't fix anything._

_I need to get help. There _must _be a way I can undo it since Anna did help me learn how to thaw my ice. _Elsa picked up the blanket Anna had wrapped her in before and hesitantly held it out to Anna. _I _will _get help, I am not letting myself hide and do nothing. That will fix nothing. _"I...I'll understand if you don't stay anywhere near me anymore or are angry. I _will _figure out how to help."

Anna frowned but took the blanket. "Hey, don't be like that. I mean, you _did _try to warn me. I just thought you were, you know...just saying that again because you thought you were supposed to be alone. And I didn't want to leave you alone. Elsa, I'll be _fine. _Really. I'm sure you can undo it. We just have to figure out how." She hopped up and reached to give Elsa a hug, but the older girl backed up.

_Why isn't Anna remotely scared? Why isn't she fussing at me? _"I...I hurt you again." Elsa stumbled into the wall, not wanting Anna to risk touching her again, knowing quite well Anna most definitely would if she let her.

"So what? You didn't mean to!"

"No, but...there's nothing to prevent me from doing it _again_! I can't even just...put my old gloves back on because I _know _they don't do anything!" Elsa bit her lip in frustration. She needed to go find help for Anna before whatever she had done to Anna hurt her worse. If she left she would be risking other people finding out about her, but she _needed _to help Anna. _I don't want to leave here by myself! I'm scared._

_Anna is worth it. Anything for Anna is always worth it. _A sudden idea popped into her head. The secret passages. That was how she could get out of the castle unnoticed. She just needed a map for once outside the castle walls.

_This is why Elsa needs to let that backlog of magic out. It's too much for her. _"You know how to control it. I know you do. That's not the problem. You _knew _what was about to happen and I've hugged you loads of times when you're sad or scared. I think something with your magic was physically hurting you and wouldn't let you hold it in anymore. I'm not scared of you, Elsa." Anna gently touched Elsa's clenched fists, ignoring the fact that being close to chilly Elsa made her feel colder. _"_I love you and I don't care if you're potentially dangerous or whatever. You're still just my sister." _Wait. Elsa herself is making me colder but...something feels different too. _She could still feel Elsa's icy magic as a burning cold sensation in her chest, as if it might be in her heart, but when she touched Elsa's hands, it hurt less.

"You're shivering. You're hurting and it's my fault, and I don't know how to fix it!"

"Elsa, get another blanket out of the wardrobe or wherever else you keep them and s-sit down. Right here." Anna was glad Elsa didn't question her directions further, and she plopped next to Elsa on the floor. "Okay. Good. I...I think we _do _know how to fix it. Right?"

"The trolls," Elsa said flatly.

"Yeah. But I'm just thinking, we don't trust them...so probably I shouldn't go there. I don't wanna lose my new recent memories of you, Elsa," Anna said softly. "Do...do you think you could get there by yourself?" she asked hesitantly. _I can't expect Elsa to do that, no way. She'll be scared. What if they hurt her? What if she gets lost? What if she gets into trouble and can't defend herself? What if-_

Elsa's quiet voice interrupted Anna's worried thoughts. _"_I can. The...the secret passages. I can get outside the castle walls that...that way," she answered, clearly terrified of the idea of venturing out on her own but determined to go get help.

"There's secret passages?! Why don't I know about them?" Anna asked curiously.

"I...I don't know. Mom and Dad told me about them when I turned sixteen..." Elsa thought of the many times she had sat just inside the passages outside Anna's room so she could be somewhat close even though Anna didn't know she was there. "There is an entrance in your room too. I used to like to sit inside the passages so I could-I'm sorry, Anna. I'm so sorry. About everything."

"Elsa, it's okay. Really. We'll be fine," Anna said firmly. "You can show me the passages after you get back. Just...promise me if you run into trouble, you'll defend yourself. I know you can! So do it."

_I will because I have to get back to Anna. Somehow. _Elsa nodded and slowly stood up; then wrapped her blanket around Anna too. "I...I'm going to find supplies. You stay put and rest."

* * *

Elsa returned to her room awhile later to find Anna half-asleep on the bed and all the letters that had fallen on the floor in a nice neat pile. _I need to hurry up. Come on, Elsa, find help for Anna. _"I'm leaving now before I lose my nerve. If I do not return in two days, then tell someone what happened. Is...is that okay?"

"Elsa...it's dark now. Go tomorrow morning." Anna sounded tired, and she didn't get up, which made Elsa even more concerned. "I'll be fine."

Elsa stayed a few feet away, a big brown bag under one arm and a lantern in her hand. "You are _not _fine! I...I can feel it. The ice. It's spreading, Anna. This time I _know _I didn't make another mistake, it's from earlier. If I try to dissolve that magic myself, I might hurt you worse. I can't...I can't risk that," she said firmly. _Just think about Anna, Elsa. You just need to get to that troll valley, ask how to fix what you did, and come right back. AND...force a clear concise answer, not some...nebulous thing that tells us nothing useful._

Anna thought Elsa looked rather small and vulnerable in her oversized brown hooded cloak hiding her distinctive hair. Forget the rock trolls scaring her sister, she worried some bad person might try to hurt Elsa, _especially _going out after dark off to someplace outside Arendelle's main village and marketplace. "Elsa, what if some weirdo creepy person finds you? I mean even if nobody knows you're the princess, bad people still might bug you because you're alone..."

Elsa's expression darkened. "I took one of the big steak knives from the kitchen. It's in my sleeve strapped to my arm with ice."

Anna stared blankly at her. _Elsa's willing to pull a knife on someone if she has to, but she doesn't want to use her magic to defend herself? Which would most certainly be easier and can't get taken away either. _"Well...okay. Food? Do you have food?"

"Water, apples, chocolate." _I don't really need to take food though...I can go a long time without eating..._

"Yummy." Anna tried to think what else Elsa might need. "A map."

Elsa nodded. "I marked the shortest route, too." _I want to give Anna a hug, but...I better not. _She felt antsy and on edge, and Anna's hair slowly turning an icy white shade terrified her. She needed to hurry up and find answers and get back before...before whatever awful thing that would happen if she didn't reverse what she had done to her little sister.

"Elsa, you don't have to go, you know," Anna said firmly, sitting up and staring concernedly at Elsa.

"Yes, I do. You know that." Elsa spoke quietly, her gaze on the floor again. _I do have to. We don't have time to mess about and experiment. This is Anna's safety we're concerned with here. _"We can't send anyone else because the trolls are a secret as far as I know. They may not even...appear for someone else. I have no idea. This is the only way, unless I take you with me, and I...I just can't."

"Just remember, if you _do _run into trouble, you can use your magic. Make it snow all over Arendelle or something. That's not dangerous and people will think it's just a freak snowstorm. If I see anything magical I'll assume something's gone wrong and you need help. I believe in you, Elsa. Everything will be fine." Anna's little speech seemed to have tired her out and she flopped back on Elsa's pillows.

_I wish I had Anna's confidence. _Elsa didn't answer, but she pulled all of her blankets out of the wardrobe and put them on the bed for Anna. _Thank you for everything. I'd say maybe I could pay you back for everything you've done for me, but this is my fault, so I can't. I'm just fixing the bad thing I caused._

The last thing Elsa heard before she pulled the entrance into the secret passages closed behind her was Anna's cheerful voice saying she loved her.

* * *

Elsa slipped silently through the secret passages and outside the castle walls. _Anna said she believed in me. I can't disappoint her. _She touched the beads on her bracelet and pulled the cloak hood tighter over her platinum hair before starting off. _I need to stay on the well-lit streets as long as possible before going off into the dark. _Elsa was not scared of the dark itself, but the idea of wild animals or bad people approaching her did. Or nice people, for that matter. What on earth would she say if someone asked where she was going? Forget the concern that she might be recognized, she would probably stutter some incomprehensible thing and make a power mistake.

_Okay, Elsa, calm yourself down. Think. What would Anna do? She would probably think this was some great adventure. _Elsa consulted her map and kept walking. It would have been much faster on horseback, but she hadn't been on a horse since she was eight, and even then just an old, fat, very calm pony. So walking it would have to be. "I'm fine. I'm getting help and then I'm going home," she murmured to herself.

Elsa's trip was uneventful for a long while, aside from a few awkward waves at people who greeted her with a cheery 'good evening, I hope you get home safe!' sort of comment. _Thank goodness no one seems to have recognized me. _Once she stepped off the main road she began feeling strange, as if something or someone were watching her. "I'm just being paranoid. No mistakes, Elsa," she ordered herself. _No mistakes. I can't._

Elsa set her lantern down and felt for the knife in her sleeve. It was still there and would be easy to slide free if she needed it, but she also knew she had no idea how to use it and frankly didn't want to. Elsa snatched the lantern up and began walking faster. At least she knew those creepy rock trolls weren't going to attack her somehow. The feeling that something was following her wouldn't go away, and Elsa hoped it was just her own nerves getting to her. _I can't freak out here. I can't. I've got to get help for Anna._

_What would Anna do? I don't even know._

_You can't do this, Elsa. Why did you ever think you might be able to do this yourself? You haven't been anywhere for years. You don't know where you're going and you're scared and-_

_Stop. I _have _to do this. Anna has done so much for me. I can't let her stay at home hurting because I accidentally hit her again. She might die if I don't find help in time. _Elsa was so lost in thought that she didn't hear the footsteps behind her until it was too late.

"Look what we've got here. A-"

Elsa reacted on instinct and swung the heavy lantern as hard as she could at the owner of the rough hand on her arm. The lantern shattered and went out, leaving her with no light. _Why did I do that, now I can't see, and..._

_Elsa, run. You need to run. _Elsa darted off into the darkness, much preferring her chances with no light with wild animals than whoever that bad man was and whoever he was with. She could hear footsteps chasing after her and the strangers' lanterns cast eerie shadows in the trees. Elsa's heart pounded. _Where do I go? I wish I trusted myself to climb a tree. Anna would do that._

_I'm scared. I want to go home. _Anna had told her to use her magic to signal for help, but what good would that do with people right there chasing her? They would hurt or kill her long before anyone could find her, even if Anna did come after her or send Kai or Gerda with help. Elsa tripped over an unseen tree root and fell; then immediately scrambled to her feet and kept running.

"She runs too fast! Just leave her!" a voice shouted somewhere behind her.

"She's _seen _us, she'll report it!"

_No I didn't, I just know you're bad and a very large scary man, _Elsa thought, wishing she could just _speak up, _but she felt like her voice wasn't working right and couldn't say a thing. Something caught the edge of the cloak and dragged her backwards. _Please just let me go. I didn't do anything. I need to-_

Ice shot up into a shield between Elsa and the assailants the moment she felt a sharp pain in her arm, not even on purpose, just on instinct. Elsa scooted backwards, holding the arm to her chest and staring at what she had done. _Oh no._

"Hey! What's going on over there?" a new voice demanded from the path.

Three shadowy figures took off, leaving their friend with his hands trapped in Elsa's icy barrier. "Don't just _leave _me here!" he howled.

The stranger came closer, holding his lantern high in one hand and an ice pick in the other. "Hey, get lost! Don't be terrorizing lone travelers!" He stared curiously at the ice and terrified Elsa; then the man trapped by the ice barrier. That girl was familiar somehow...and the ice. This was magic. _Is she trying to find the rock trolls? She must be. No other reason to be out alone this late with the coincidence she's got magic too._

Elsa yanked her hood back over her hair and bit her lip. _He knows the ice is from me. What do I do? I can't even deny it. He doesn't seem disturbed or scared though...and he did chase the rest away... _She hesitantly stood up, clutching the hurt arm to her chest. The mysterious stranger had produced a coil of rope and was breaking the icy barrier down, using the rope to tie up the speechless assailant. Elsa backed away toward the path and put ice around her bad arm. That should help some, even if cold wouldn't numb it like it would for an ordinary person. She still had the bag containing the map slung over her shoulders; she would find her way somehow even without the shattered lantern. _A reindeer. He has a reindeer. _The reindeer snuffled curiously at her, and she yelped.

The reindeer seemed offended and rather apologetic, and Elsa hesitantly smiled at the big animal before walking on.

"That should do," he muttered to himself, giving the man a kick before returning to his wagon and reindeer. The girl he had found was walking the same way he was going. Normally he did not want or like to take people places, but he definitely shouldn't leave that girl in the night with no light. "Hey. If you're headed to the Valley of the Living Rock, I'll take you," he said gruffly before he could change his mind, carefully omitting the 'troll valley' part just in case.

The reindeer huffed approvingly at this.

Elsa stopped short and turned around. _What? Can I trust him? He did help me. I don't think he's a bad person...I don't know what to say. What if he realizes it's the princess no one ever sees? He saw my magic. _Elsa's thoughts raced, but she slowly nodded. _I want to say thank you. I probably can't. What if I can't talk to the trolls either? Wait, no...that part doesn't matter. I wrote it down specifically because of that. "_Th...thank y-y..."

"You're welcome," came the interrupting reply. "Kristoff. That's Sven."

Elsa nodded again, feeling slow and stupid for nodding and not saying anything. This person was being kind to her and she couldn't say she appreciated it. _What is wrong with me? Anna would probably talk and talk. I can't do this. _She wanted to pet the reindeer. Sven looked friendly, and he wouldn't talk to her expecting answers.

Kristoff was pleased the strange girl wasn't talking his ear off and being irritating, but he was rather concerned, too. She reminded him of a frightened animal caught in a trap. "Not that it means much from a stranger, but I'm not gonna hurt you. You can ride in the back of the wagon if you don't want to sit up here. Just some ice harvesting tools in there now, so there's room."

Elsa relaxed a little. Upon closer look, this 'man' Kristoff was barely more than a boy, probably just an older teenager like herself, and he didn't seem to care about her magic. If anything it seemed like he had some experience with magic himself, considering he had seen the ice and immediately assumed she was going to the Valley of the Living Rock. _Say thank you, Elsa. It's just two words. _Elsa awkwardly scrambled in, holding her bad arm close. Now that she wasn't in immediate danger anymore, it was starting to hurt worse, and she wasn't sure what to do with it. "Thank...thank you," Elsa whispered finally.

"Put your ice on it."

Elsa stared at him as Sven began walking.

"Your arm. It's injured. Put your ice on it. I saw your magic back there, so you can do that."

"I...I did." Elsa had not been prepared for the first stranger that saw her magic to be so..._nonchalant _about it. _Could Anna be right? Would people really not care? They'd accept me like this? _She didn't count the robbers or whoever they had been; they would have been after her, magic or not, and they had had no clue she was the princess. _Talk. Say something. Ask him why he doesn't mind magic. Maybe he has magic too._

"Good." Kristoff mulled over where the magical girl might have come from. She was wearing that plain brown cloak, but it was oversized and too big for her, and the bit he'd seen of her dress looked simple but expensive to him, not that he knew much or cared about clothes. Also, she must not normally go out or she would know not to use this particular forest path alone on foot at night. It _was _the shortest route to the troll valley, yes, but it wasn't the safest. Plus, the only other time he had seen ice magic was when he was a child and first met the trolls. Humans with magic were so rare that it _must _be the same person.

This girl was Princess Elsa. He was sure of it. The fact that she had tried to hide her unique hair practically proved it. Kristoff decided to keep that knowledge to himself. Telling the princess he knew who she was would probably just frighten her anyways. _What has happened to her and Princess Anna all this time?_ Then the next realization struck him: the castle gates had been closed because of Princess Elsa's magic. He had not heard most of what the royal family had said when they'd visited the troll valley, but he did remember a platinum-haired girl-that was Elsa-and an unconscious red-haired girl-that was Princess Anna.

Kristoff wondered how the heck someone that was clearly scared of talking to people did her job that _must _include schmoozing with a bunch of rich snooty people. He decided to keep this thought to himself as well.

Elsa just stayed quiet in her spot in the back of Kristoff's wagon. _I hope Anna is doing okay. She would be glad I have someone with me though. I wish I could tell her what I'm doing somehow. _"Do...d'you have...magic too?" she asked cautiously. Maybe he wouldn't tell her. Why had she even bothered struggling to speak up? He probably didn't want to talk to her. _I sound stupid. I can talk to Anna fine. Pretend Anna is here, Elsa. You'd be better with her here._

"No, but my family does," Kristoff said simply. "I'll stop to let you out just before we arrive. Otherwise they will probably, ah...sing a song or something. Hey...it's none of my business, but why were you out here alone?"

Elsa bit her lip and scrunched her eyes shut. _You can answer, Elsa. He doesn't know who you are. It's okay if you stutter or something. _"My...my s-sister. I hurt her. I...I have to...find help." She wrapped the brown cloak tighter around herself and didn't say anything more. Surely he would kick her out of the wagon if he knew she had hurt someone dear to her. She wanted Anna's comforting warmth near her again.

_Oh. Well that's a good reason to be out here alone at night with no horse or reindeer. _"But you didn't bring your sister or anyone else with you," Kristoff pointed out, puzzled. Then he wondered to himself why he was asking _the princess _questions. He might end up getting himself into trouble for questioning her...but then again, he could not see this girl punishing him for that.

Elsa didn't answer that for several minutes. "I...didn't want t-to...to risk her...her memories," she replied finally. "I didn't have...anyone else to send." _Kristoff's family is the trolls. I just know it. I don't want to offend him._

Kristoff wondered what on earth had happened to the princess since the time he had seen the royal family a decade before that made her think she had no one else to go with her. He'd delivered missives to the castle from the trolls before, and now he wondered if they had been read at all. "Sounds like you love your sister very much."

This time Elsa's voice didn't waver or hesitate. "I do." _I'd do anything for Anna._

"Then whatever hurt you caused her, there's nothing to worry about. Love is the strongest magic there is."

Elsa's eyes filled with tears. _Well, certainly Anna's love saved me, and she helps me control my powers. And why does this stranger know about love helping control my magic and Mom and Dad didn't? I don't understand. He knows nothing about me._

_Elsa, he lives with the trolls. He probably knows a lot about magic, certainly more than anyone in your family did or does, so he doesn't have to know anything about you. _Elsa felt a bit better at that realization. If Kristoff was right, Anna would be okay. _Anna would probably like him, _she thought now. Elsa was very glad her special bracelet Anna had given her was still intact. She would never, ever take it off if she could help it.

The trip continued in silence, and Elsa wondered what Anna was doing back at home. _Please be okay, Anna. I'm finding us help._

* * *

"She did _what_?!" Gerda sounded horrified. "You two..." She shook her head worriedly. "I haven't heard such a plan where everything could go badly wrong since you and Elsa were tiny!" Gerda was so upset she just called Elsa by her given name with no title, which she never did.

"Elsa has supplies," Anna protested, still shivering inside her blanket cocoon on Elsa's bed. "I made sure!" She had planned to not say anything like Elsa had wanted, but Gerda had finally worked it out. It was kind of hard to be convincing that she was just sick when it the 'sickness' was clearly magical in nature and reclusive Elsa was nowhere to be seen.

"Princess, that's not the point. That valley is a long way from here. I don't know if it's even possible to walk there overnight. Your sister hasn't stepped foot outside the gates in ten years and the first time she leaves, it's at night, alone, trying to...what?"

"She's gonna ask the rock trolls she told m-me about how to undo what she did t' me." Anna suddenly felt the need to defend Elsa's capabilities. "Elsa can do it, she's n-not dumb." _Well I _think _she can. I can't help being super concerned..._

Gerda sighed and handed Anna a mug of hot tea. "And if these...creatures refuse to appear to her? Then what?"

"Then we'll figure it out by ourselves." Anna hesitated and sipped her tea. "I...Gerda, if they don't give her answers, Elsa _will _come back, won't she?" _What if Elsa decides it's safer for me if she doesn't come back? What if she hurts herself again? _Anna had a sick feeling that the worst danger was from Elsa herself, not anyone or anything else. She _knew _Elsa could defend herself if she needed to, that she could read a map and not get lost.

"I...don't know, Miss Anna. I imagine you probably know the answer to that better than I do," Gerda said quietly. "But I think she would come back if she's able."

Anna nodded. _That's true. Elsa could have left here anytime she wanted, but she chose to stay instead. It's just... _"I _know _Elsa's unhappy here. She obviously feels better, but..." She bit her lip and looked down at the mug of tea. _What if Elsa gets all scared like she does sometimes and nobody's there to help? Well I mean I guess I know she's dealt with that alone loads of times before but I don't want her to be alone._

"Princess, she has a reason to come back. She left to find help. She will come back to give it," Gerda said firmly. "Do you want to send a search party after her? That you can do."

Anna hesitated and scrunched her eyes shut. _Elsa would think I didn't trust her if I did that, and she thinks I won't worry unless it's been two days and she hasn't come back. And it would cause a great big ruckus. _"No. Not yet. I...I have got this feeling Elsa is okay. I'm s-still worried but I think she's okay," Anna said after a long silence. "I'm just worried sombody'll...you know, figure out who she is..."

Gerda lit the fire in Elsa's fireplace, hoping that might help keep Anna warm until Elsa came back with the information on how to reverse what her magic had done. "If she's covering her hair, she should be okay that way, I should think. Do you need or want anything else, princess?"

Anna shook her head. "Nope. I'll be fine 'til she gets back. Cause I have to."

* * *

"No, Grand Pabbie. I...I need _detailed _instructions." Elsa's quiet voice was firm. _'Only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart', what does that even mean? I love Anna and I know she loves me too. _Also she wanted to get out of there. The ancient troll frightened her, and she kept thinking about the last time she'd seen him when she was eight. _Anna is not here. I won't lose her. It will be fine, _Elsa reminded herself. Frost crackled under her feet, reflecting her anxious feelings.

Grand Pabbie gazed impassively at her. "It is something your sister must solve for herself beyond that," he said.

Elsa's frustration outweighed her fear of talking to others besides Anna, Gerda, and Kai. "It's _my _magic, there _must _be a way to reverse it! I have _not _come all the way here to just get more...more nebulous instructions!" The words only tumbled out faster as Elsa realized something else. _What happened when Anna and I were little could have probably been avoided if Grand Pabbie had told little me exactly how to control it, even if Mom and Dad had still isolated me from everyone. I could have proven I could control it. "_You _tell me how to heal my sister_! In _exact _words."

"Princess Anna must heal herself."

Elsa's blue eyes began filling with frustrated tears, and she balled her uninjured hand into a fist. "You need to tell me how she c-can do that, then." _Anna can heal herself? Does that mean we were on the right track when I thought maybe she was immune to me...hurting her again? _"What do I do? _I _did it, I should be able to undo it."

"Queen...Princess...Elsa, you are not an ice master. You cannot reverse it yourself, not entirely," the old troll said slowly. Elsa puzzled him; he was not used to being questioned about magic advice.

"Not entirely." Elsa latched on to those words immediately. "That implies I can _partially _reverse it. Tell me how," she ordered. _Elsa, what are you doing? You're being rude. What if they try to change your memories? You might lose Anna. Do you want that?_

_No. I'm angry. I am getting answers and I'm not backing down this time._

"Elsa, you will never control your powers properly until you embrace what you have. That is what caused this to occur in the first place. Forcing it to remain contained when under intense emotions is nigh impossible even though you have found the key to controlling your magic. You must feel that already." Pabbie looked worried now.

Elsa flinched. _He means what Anna has told me...to let all that backlog of magic out. How can I do that anyway? To let all of it out would be much more than even that...small explosion before._

_"_You are going to make yourself ill. One's magic should be a pleasant thing to possess and I can easily sense that is not the case for you."

"I don't care about me. I need to know what t-to do for Anna," Elsa shot back instantly. "Please, she might be getting worse as...as I speak."

"If you wish to be able to be safe for ordinary people to be around, you must embrace your magic." Pabbie looked guilty the second Elsa cringed and backed away. "I apologize."

_I don't know how. Do I even go home? I have to, what kind of person would I be if I didn't...I need to help Anna somehow. I can't leave her. _"Please..._please _just tell me what I c-can do for Anna. _Please." _Elsa felt she couldn't fuss at the troll any longer; she wanted to go home, but now she was scared to. Certainly Anna would not ever just leave her even if she wasn't safe to be around, but she didn't want to risk harming Anna or anyone else again, either.

Pabbie gazed at her curiously, considering. "You've the knowledge already, princess. I believe your sister taught you the key. You can thaw most of the harm you caused her, but Princess Anna must heal the last bit herself."

Elsa bit her lip, trying to understand what that meant. "I...just dissolve the ice like I n-normally would? It won't hurt Anna?" she asked hesitantly.

"It may cause her pain for a moment, but no, you won't harm her," the old troll assured her. "Do not forget she must thaw the last bit herself. Only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart."

_Surely Anna can easily do that? I know she loves me, and she loves Gerda and Kai and everyone too... _Elsa nodded, her expression carefully neutral again.

"Now Bulda has asked Kristoff to take you home. She thought he brought you here to marry him."

Elsa turned bright red, feeling absolutely mortified. _No wonder he said he would drop me off just before arriving. Well then. _"I have never met him before tonight!"

Pabbie's rocky face was clearly amused. "Yes, well. We would love if our Kristoff married a royal. He deserves it."

"Not me he isn't!" Elsa did not like the way this conversation was going one bit. And...Kristoff now _knew _she was one of the princesses? That was not good, not good at all. _I couldn't even talk to him properly on the way here. I'm making my family look bad. And what if he tells someone else what's wrong with me? What would my parents think? "_If...if he could maybe just tell me a safer way back, I shall go by myself, thank you."

"Very well."

Elsa took a deep breath before asking her last question. "And...Anna's childhood memories? Can she get them back?"

**A/N: Oh boy I had fun writing this chapter:) Obviously Elsa will get home next chapter and then Anna and Elsa will figure out how to interpret what Pabbie said.**

**And no, I don't ship Kristoff with Elsa, but I thought it made sense in this timeline for them to meet this way, considering the circumstances. Anna and Kristoff will still be endgame of course.:) Just not anytime soon.**

**Next chapter coming soon!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**RisingPurple~There will be more action type drama later on! I'm glad you still liked the chapter even though it wasn't exactly what you were hoping for:)**

**Elsa Tomago~ Yep, Elsa will do pretty much anything for Anna, including going off alone outside the castle, which really scares her. This time she knows what information they will need though, so she _will _come back:) As we know, Elsa CAN fight on her own, but I didn't think she was ready to yet, either, and I figured this was a logical way for Kristoff to show up!**

**GeekGirl2~ I'm so glad you enjoyed both chapters! Elsa is not exactly a talkative person anyways, so she all the more thinks randomly saying 'HI!' to their castle staff would be out of place on her part. She doesn't mind talking to Anna though:) And yeahhhh, at this point Elsa is mostly just thinking that she won't make another suicide attempt purely for Anna's sake; she's realized she does _not _want to make Anna find her like that again. She does genuinely feel better, but it's consideration for Anna that will keep her from trying again. I don't believe those thoughts are going to just instantly completely go away after some weeks with Anna back. But, since she's got Anna now, it's easier for her to cope with said thoughts, and she doesn't feel like that all the time anymore.:) As for Kristoff, we shall see more of him eventually! He's rather puzzled by Elsa and doesn't have a good opinion of rich people in general lol. She doesn't fit his image of what rich people in authority are like, and wait til he meets Anna too...heheheh. That shall be funny:) Anna does mostly trust Elsa to come back, but she's scared right now for obvious reasons, so she asks anyways./ I HAD to add some bit of comedy, even if it was just the one bit with Bulda and Pabbie;)**

**On to the story!**

Anna kept staring at the clock in Elsa's room all night. _Elsa, please be okay, _she thought to herself, still shivering wrapped up in blankets by the fireplace. How was she going to get back into the castle? Probably those secret passage things Elsa had mentioned weren't able to be opened from the outside. Had Elsa thought of that? _Also, _Anna thought worriedly, rubbing her own arm, _I think Elsa hurt her arm. I don't know why, but I'm almost sure of it._

"You are certain you don't want to send a search party after her, princess?" Gerda asked quietly. "It's just about sunrise."

"Not yet. Elsa's trusting me to n-not start freaking out for her until t-two days pass." Anna closed her eyes, feeling close to tears. "I...I don't feel good. I'm gonna end up s-scaring Elsa if she sees me like...like this." _I don't want to lose her! I don't care if she hurt me, she deserves better. I _know _this is exactly why Mom and Dad separated us, but...what about Elsa? She might have sort of dangerous magic, but she's still just a normal girl inside. Like me. She just needs help. "_What if she tries t-to punish herself somehow? What if she won't-"

"Miss Anna, let's just concentrate on keeping you warm," Gerda said firmly. Right now her focus was on the freezing princess right in front of her. It was hot in the room now and Anna was wrapped in multiple blankets, but it didn't seem to be helping. This was starting to scare her. As much as she loved both princesses equally, she did _not _trust Elsa to come back right away. Anna refusing to send out anyone to search for her was frustrating.

"...you don't think she's gonna come back," Anna accused suddenly.

"I didn't say that, princess. It's just...I have seen your sister all this time before you reunited with her. I'm not sure this is something she can handle on her own, at least not now," Gerda said carefully. _Anna must know that herself. She's just trusting Elsa anyway. _"Also, I don't think separating you two was right, but...this is _exactly _what your parents were concerned about. I don't know how to help you or Miss Elsa here, and it's extremely upsetting. You both deserve better."

Anna didn't even bother trying not to cry. "I don't care! They were hurting her. It hurt m-me, too. Elsa's my _sister_! I don't care what's wrong with her, I'm going t' love and accept her anyway, just the way she is. Obviously nobody else does. Go away, Gerda. Please." Anna's fear and pain regarding freezing was making her angry, and she wanted to somehow fix everything herself. _I know Gerda doesn't mean anything, but it still makes me sad. I'm tired and cold and it hurts and I don't know what to do. Is this sort of what Elsa feels like because she's all full to bursting with her magic? I hate it. I mean it's probably not because I'm not immune to cold like Elsa is, but..._

_And I miss Mom and Dad. I want them back but you know...actually let me be with Elsa, and not be unintentionally hurting her. I don't think Elsa's powers would be dangerous at all if she'd been taken care of properly all this time. I'm sure of it. _Anna stumbled to her feet and curled up back on Elsa's bed. The heat from the fire wasn't helping anyway.

Gerda quietly fed the fire another log and slipped out, wondering if she should do anything else.

* * *

Anna was in an uncomfortable doze when Elsa slipped into her room that evening, but she immediately woke up when she heard Elsa's scared voice asking if Anna could hear her. "Elsa! I-I'm so glad y-you're back!" She tried to reach for Elsa to give her a hug, but the frightened ice mage immediately backed against the wall. "It's _okay, _Elsa. I'm n-not...you know, mad or dead. Or anything l-like that."

Elsa tried to give Anna a quick explanation of what Grand Pabbie had told her about how to fix what she'd done, her gaze locked to the floor the whole time. _I can't even look at Anna. What have I done to her? Anna's hair is whiter than mine now. I don't want her to die. She's freezing to death and it's my fault. What if I hurt her more trying to help? What if- _Elsa's racing thoughts were interrupted by the very cold Anna arms that suddenly wrapped around her. "What-"

"Elsa, don't you see? It's all right, I know it." Anna hugged Elsa as tightly as her shaking arms would let her. "I _do _love you. Lots. Maybe that's why I'm not...y'know, dead yet." Elsa shuddered in her arms, but Anna held on. She would let go if Elsa began panicking at being touched again, but otherwise, Anna was going to hold her. "Do the magic l-like the ol' troll s-said. We d-don't have anything dramatic happening, s-so I prob'ly can't thaw me myself. So we need both of us." The burning intense cold in Anna's chest relented some, and she pulled away just enough to see Elsa's face. "Don't cry now, Elsa, it's all right. Please. Please help me. I know y-you can."

"I...I'm scared I'll make it worse." Elsa's pained blue eyes finally lifted to meet Anna's. _This __is my worst nightmare come to life. What if I've killed Anna? What if I can't do it? I'm so scared of messing up again. Why does Anna still want me at all? I hurt her and she's still trying to make me feel better. _"Your _hair. _It...it..."

"That's okay. You c-can do it anyway. Even if y-you're scared. And my hair is _fine. _It just looks s-sorta like yours." Anna gave her a reassuring smile and backed up a bit; then held out her hand. "Try thawing...just my hand? That won't be, l-like, deadly or anything if y-you mess up anyway."

Elsa felt like she could see her own signature snowflake in Anna's eyes and all over her hand. How could she willingly let herself touch Anna's bare freezing hand? If she messed up... Elsa lifted her own uninjured hand and scrunched her eyes shut as she reached for Anna's. _I have to do this. I have to. At least this has a chance of going right. If I do nothing, it's guaranteed to harm Anna. _"The troll said it'd hurt for a moment..."

"That's okay."

Anna gasped as she felt the sharp pain of Elsa's magic jerked away from her heart, but then she smiled. There was a tiny bit left, but it wasn't horrible burning cold anymore. _It feels like it's flowing down my arm to Elsa's hand, almost. That's weird but kind of pleasant. It doesn't hurt at all. _"Elsa, it's working!"

Elsa hesitantly opened her eyes. Anna's happy smile and the pain in her eyes fading away reassured Elsa that she wasn't hurting her little sister; she was genuinely helping. Elsa closed her eyes again, this time simply in concentration. _I'm actually helping fix what I did! Anna is going to be okay._

"So _this _is what you were hiding!" An angry voice broke the connection, and Elsa jumped, startled frost forming under her feet. "Princess Anna fired me, and lo and behold our royal family is harboring a witch! What have you done?"

Elsa flinched and instinctively shoved Anna behind her. She might not want to deal with confrontation, but her first instinct would _always _be to protect her little sister. _What is going on? Did I forget to shut the door or did Anna and I just not hear it open? I don't know this man, but...oh wait. He's one of the guards Anna fired, and he's angry. _Elsa struggled to speak calmly, but she stood up straight. "What...what is it you want?"

The ex-guard seemed taken aback by this reply. He stared at Elsa and then the frost still spreading on the floor. "You've bewitched the princess. What did you do to her?"

Elsa blinked. Yes, she _had _hurt Anna, but...did this man believe she had somehow brainwashed her or something? _What on earth?_

_I want to run. I can't. I just need to stall for time until someone gets here. I don't care what happens to me, but I've got to protect Anna. I don't think he wants to hurt Anna, though... _Elsa felt like her heart would beat out of her chest. She saw the man's hand go to his sheathed sword and cringed. _Why wasn't he stripped of his weapons? And...I don't want to die. I really don't. Not anymore. Sometimes I still feel like I do, but I don't want to hurt Anna. I don't want to fight! I can't. I don't know how and...I don't want to hurt him. _Elsa bit her lip and took a deep breath, still feeling like she might bolt whether she consciously chose to or not. Anna squeezed her hand as if to say, _Say something, Elsa. Use your words. You can do it. _"What makes you think the nasty witch won't cast a spell on you, too?" she asked in a carefully neutral voice. _I...talked. I said something and I didn't stutter or freak out. Okay, Elsa. That means you can do it again._

The sword unsheathed and was at her throat. Elsa forced herself to meet the man's hesitant gaze. The kitchen knife was still in her sleeve, but that wasn't the answer. Even if she slipped it free, she knew she didn't stand a chance against a trained sword. _I need to talk. Not fight. Anna said I can be scared and do something anyway. I need to think about that. I don't want to hurt anyone else anyway, even if I thought I could use that knife. _Elsa's hands were shaking now, and she pulled her hand away from Anna and clutched a fistful of her skirt. "If you truly believe I should die...I won't fight you. I love m-my country, but I will not be a spell-casting dictator."

"Hey! Don't you touch her!" A sting on her neck and the next thing Elsa knew Anna had snatched and swung the fireplace poker as hard as she could at the man's legs and he fell with a thud. "I love Elsa! She can't brainwash anybody anyway! Didn't you see? She's got _ice _magic!"

Elsa kicked the dropped sword out of reach as the man scooted backwards into the hall. Anna yelled that they needed help, _now, _still threatening the ex-guard with her makeshift weapon.

"Princess Anna, I was trying to protect you! Please put that poker down!"

"You were spying on us and you threatened Elsa! You should have been wanting to protect her too!" Anna shouted. "I love her, and you should too! She's Arendelle's new ruler!" Without taking her eyes off him, she added, "Elsa, get us some backup, please. It's taking too long."

Elsa took off at a run for the stairs, nearly running into Erik and a few others. "I...I am sorry. My sister and I need help," she blurted, pointing.

Erik sent the others to assist Anna and kept Elsa safely behind him as he headed down the hall. "Are either of you hurt?"

Elsa touched her neck; her fingers came away bloody. "Just a scratch. I...I think Anna is all right," she said honestly. _And I know Anna is all right now from what I did, too. Her hair is back to normal and she doesn't seem all shivery, either..._

Erik seemed pleased both sisters were fine but that Elsa was superficially hurt. "Perfect. All the more reason to punish him. We will take care of this immediately," he said quickly.

Elsa frowned. _If I say I don't want him punished, Anna would tell me it'd make me look like a pushover, and she would be right..._

"Take this creep away!" Anna ordered now, still brandishing her poker. "Oh and I don't think you need punish him. I already did enough. Sorry." Anna did not sound very sorry at all.

Elsa studied the culprit closely. _He seems genuinely concerned. He definitely shouldn't have been spying at all and was disobeying orders, but...I think he wanted to protect Anna. I'm just collateral damage since the magic is my fault..._

_I need to say something. Speak up, Elsa. _"Erik, please make sure whatever injuries Princess Anna gave him are...are tended to, but make sure he is kept under 24/7 watch," she said cautiously.

"But Elsa, he pulled a sword on you!" Anna protested. "He should be-"

"_Anna." _Elsa wished she could make her hands stop trembling. _Please, Anna, it's hard enough for me to order anything in person. I can do it in writing but verbally is so hard._

Anna instantly went quiet, understanding Elsa's unsaid message. "Never mind. Do like Elsa says."

* * *

"Anna, I really am okay," Elsa said again as they ate dinner in Anna's room awhile later. "I'm so relieved you're okay. I...I'm surprised I actually...helped fix what I did. That feels...nice." Elsa's hesitant voice made Anna frown, but this time it was just because Elsa was unsure how to explain how she felt, not because she was frightened. _I went somewhere on my own. I did need help, but it was okay. And Anna is all right. I'm so, so relieved._

_Oh, Elsa. _"That's good, right?" Anna stuffed another bite of warm stew in her mouth. "I just, you know, I'm worried about you. You'd have let what's-his-face kill you, and that scares me. And is your arm okay? Does it still hurt?" After the incident, Anna had made sure Elsa tended to the minor cut on her neck, which led to Anna realizing Elsa had indeed hurt her arm like she'd thought before.

"I was hoping he would leave us alone if I showed I didn't want to force anyone to support me," came Elsa's quiet reply. "And my arm is all right. I'll just need you to help me with my paperwork for awhile since I can't write with it, that's all." _Would I have let him kill me? I don't even know. I guess that means yes, since if I'd hesitated too long he would have slit my throat anyway..._

"That's risky! You can't bank everything on something like that! And...and he was accusing you of awful things!" Anna scooted closer to Elsa; Elsa tensed and moved over a bit, which made Anna sigh. "Please, Elsa, don't...write yourself off immediately if someone disses you. You deserve better than that."

"Anna, he...I honestly think he really just wanted to protect you. He was suspicious and spied where he shouldn't, yes, but he saw me as a threat to you because clearly I'm strange and dangerous, an unknown variable. You can't blame him for being suspicious when no one has seen me for years. I _did _hurt you, after all." Elsa looked down at her bracelet and smiled a little. "You are the anomaly here, not him. Certainly you must have been at least a little disturbed when you found out about my magic."

Anna scowled. "Yeah, disturbed that my missing sister was trying to kill herself," she muttered. "Your magic was the _least _of my concerns, Elsa. And honestly I wasn't really all that surprised. It kinda made sense and explained a lot of things. Also, why are you so sure that guy wanted to protect me anyway?"

Elsa gave her little sister a sad smile. "Because he could have just shoved me aside or immediately stabbed either of us. He also did not try to defend himself when you hit him with the poker," she replied softly. "Think about it. He's trained. I'm not and neither are you. If he truly wanted to harm and kill the two teenage princesses, he could and would have." _I believe that. I really don't think he wanted to hurt Anna._

"But..." Anna gulped. "Are you saying it was _just _because you've got your ice powers? He just automatically decided you were bad and a threat because you're different?" _That's horrible. It's exactly what Elsa said she was worried about, too._

"Because he saw me clearly having harmed you in some way and using some kind of magic that he's never seen before." Elsa didn't seem distressed or scared about it now, just resigned and sad. "I'm so glad you are okay now, but...that could have easily gone _so _wrong. If this gets out somehow, I don't think I will be able to fix the fallout. Do you understand?" _If it gets out, I'm dead if I don't run first. I know that._

Anna gently squeezed Elsa's shoulder. "We won't let it get out then," she said in her most serious voice. "And if something horrible happens, I'll protect you. I promise. At the absolute worst we'll get Aunt Primrose's help and you could maybe stay with her until stuff calmed down. Is that a good plan?"

"I should be protecting _you_. Instead I...I nearly killed you!"

"I don't care. You've been trying to protect me in your own way for ten years, Elsa. Unhealthily, but you were doing the best you knew how. I might be younger than you but I'm not stupid. Let me help you, okay? I know you aren't good at asking for help, so I'm offering. You haven't got to ask." Anna sensed Elsa was off in her own world again, not really listening. "Hey. What are you thinking about?"

Elsa stood up and went to go look out the window. _Anna would want me to tell her what I'm thinking, even if it is something sad. I know that. _"On the way back, I just kept having this...this idea that I ought to be locked in the dungeon for what I did to you. I...I sat down for a minute under a tree because I was so _tired. _And..."

"You fell asleep and had a nightmare?" Anna asked after a moment of silence. _Of course she did. She didn't have anyone with her and I know she felt horrible about the accident explosion._

"I don't even know if it _was _a nightmare, really. I just...I was chained down there and a shadow was hurting me because I'd hurt you. I couldn't really see what it was beyond a...a dark human-shaped thing, but...it was so big and frightening. I thought I would die. Then you appeared somehow. It s-still hurt but you were just holding me, saying it would be okay. I couldn't stop crying." Elsa choked, and she swiped at her eyes, trying to stop her very real tears from falling now. _Why did I tell Anna that? She asked me, but...it sounds ridiculous. _"I'm sorry. I...I'll stop."

"No, it's okay. I asked you, and I want to know," Anna assured her quickly. "Is it all right to hug you right now?"

Elsa shook her head, but she did turn to face Anna. Tiny snowflakes were floating around her, but that was it. No other power mistakes betrayed her. "It was stupid. I woke up, and it was so dark except for the moon, and my arm really did hurt, so I somehow started thinking it was real. I _knew _it wasn't, but I just got so scared that I sat there shaking for I don't know how long. Til close to dawn, I suppose. I'm lucky some other bad person didn't find me. I'd have been back hours sooner if that hadn't happened," she explained slowly. _I left Anna hurting for longer than need be because I freaked out..._

"That sounds like a nightmare to me," Anna informed her. _Poor Elsa. No wonder she looks so exhausted. Not only did she do all that walking and stuff, she was dealing with her mind making her think depressing scary stuff like that. What did Elsa mean, a shadow was hurting her? That's terrifying. But she recognizes that I'll always come help her. That's good. _"What made you able to finally get up and keep moving?" she asked curiously. "And it's fine if you can't or don't want to answer."

But Elsa lifted her chin at that, her blue eyes still bright with tears but a slight smile on her face, too. "My bracelet. I was trying to count the beads, to help concentrate on something else, and I remembered you were at home waiting for me and would be sad if I didn't come back. I might not understand that, but I do believe it. That, and I finally realized the dream was _not _real because you weren't there. Real-Anna was at home, and I needed to help her." Elsa still didn't quite understand it, but she _did _feel confident she had done the right thing. _It might have taken a long time, but I came back and Anna is okay._

Anna smiled. "I'm proud of you, Elsa. You did good. Can I give you a hug now, please?"

Elsa hesitated. She _did _want a hug, very much, in fact, but Anna freezing was still all too fresh in her mind and she worried she might be too cold for Anna to touch. _Why is Anna saying that? She shouldn't be proud of me. I shouldn't even be in this room with her anymore._

_I don't want to leave. I really don't. I'll just...get out of here _immediately _if I remotely feel like I'll lose control again._

"And before you ask, I'm proud of you because you made a mistake and instead of, like, running away from it like I know you wanted to do, you fixed it. If you aren't going to answer my question, then you get a hug," Anna said, and she draped a blanket around Elsa's shoulders and did give her a hug. "I'll stop if you tell me to but not otherwise." _That's safe for both of us. I don't wanna freeze again, but I'm not going to not give Elsa hugs._

_I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have a sister like Anna. _Elsa didn't pull away this time; she closed her eyes and finally let herself relax. _I'm so, so tired. All of me, inside and out. "_I may not understand why you still care about me at all, but I appreciate it _so _much. You make me feel safe. I'm not scared to go to sleep now."

_"_I was gonna ask you more questions, but let's just do that tomorrow," Anna decided. Elsa was slumped in her arms now, barely staying upright on her feet, as if whatever energy that had let her do everything she had in the last day and a half or so had just utterly run out. "I told Kai to put your comfy chair in here like we decided, remember? You don't have to be alone tonight." _I'll sleep in that and Elsa can have the bed. _Anna picked Elsa up a bit awkwardly and tucked the covers around her.

Elsa blinked in confusion at her. "This...isn't my comfy chair...?"

"No, it's not. This is better. Go to sleep. We're safe now, okay?" Anna gently slipped a pillow under Elsa's bad arm, hoping it might help it not hurt her anymore. "I'll be right here. If you have a bad dream again, you don't have to deal with it alone this time. And I'm okay, too. I'm not freezing anymore. It's really warm and cozy in here."

Elsa's eyes drifted closed, but Anna grew worried when silent tears began trickling down her cheeks. "...Elsa? What's the matter? Are you hurting? What can I do to help?"

Elsa didn't answer; she just shook her head and reached for Anna, clutching her little sister as tightly as she could. _I'm okay. I'm just so relieved and I don't even understand why I'm crying. The ice isn't even wanting out right now. Anna is fine. She's okay. She's not dead, she's not freezing because I hurt her again._

Anna decided to just let Elsa cry since she didn't really seem frightened or upset any longer, and there weren't even snowflakes floating around her. _Elsa's relieved. She's so relieved, she started crying, _Anna realized. "Thanks for letting me in," she said finally. _I __probably should be scared of Elsa's magic, but I'm just...not. I believe she can handle it, and honestly, as yucky awful as I felt after she hit me, I never believed we weren't going to be able to fix it. Well, maybe I was a little scared I'd freeze to death before Elsa got back. It hurt really bad. I wonder if Elsa remembered to ask those troll creatures about my memories? I sort of feel like I remember _some _things now, oddly enough._

Elsa gave Anna a sleepy, puzzled look. "You broke in. I didn't let you in," she pointed out. She seemed to suddenly realize she was touching Anna and immediately let go of her and hid her hands under the blankets.

"Not literally! I mean you not totally hiding your feelings and refusing to talk to me." Anna yawned. _I can't lose her again. I can't. _"It means a lot. I'm glad I can help you and I like feeling needed."

Elsa smiled at that. _Of course I need you, Anna. That much is very obvious._

"Good night, Elsa," Anna whispered, realizing Elsa was falling asleep again.

* * *

Anna woke up in the morning in Elsa's comfy chair to find Elsa still asleep, which kind of scared her at first since Elsa always got up early, but then she remembered Elsa had pretty much been up for over 36 hours. Of course she was still asleep again. Anna yawned and went to sit next to Elsa, still feeling incredibly lucky to actually have her sister back. _Elsa might be potentially dangerous or whatever, but she still deserves love and care just as much as anyone else._

Anna scowled at the bandage on Elsa's neck. If she had been a second later, Elsa could've been, at best, badly hurt. _And if people can't see that, they're stupid. At the very _least, _people should respect Elsa and let her be. It's not Elsa's fault she's different, she didn't ask to be born with magic. _"This stuff is why Mom and Dad were hiding her, though. I know that," Anna said to herself, hopping up and pacing around the room. "They must've thought Elsa could handle it, though, 'cause she's still got her heir apparent position. Well I guess that's me now, but _before, _that was Elsa."

"I don't get why Dad didn't open that letter though! So stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Makes me so mad. I could have got Elsa back ages ago when I was, like, nine! And, as rotten as keeping Elsa isolated in her room was, they _didn't _stick her in the dungeon. Aside from those two times, which is just awful, but still. They didn't leave her in there...I think they loved Elsa and didn't know what to do with her at all, and-" Anna stopped talking herself when she heard quiet giggling behind her. "What's so funny?"

"You." Elsa was sitting up in bed, looking quite content now. She still had dark circles under her eyes, but she seemed well-rested and happy otherwise. "How long have you been up?"

"Just a little while. I was just talking to myself and thinking."

"Obviously." Elsa's lopsided smile made Anna smile, too. It seemed rare that Elsa was calm and genuinely smiling so that it reached her eyes. Usually Elsa's smiles seemed mixed with some other negative emotion, and right now she was clearly actually happy.

"Sorry I woke you up. You can go back to sleep if you want. You've still got dark circles, so you need more sleep!"

"You have birds nesting in your hair," Elsa replied in her very best deadpan voice. "In all seriousness, though, I'm not going back to sleep now. I need to talk to you. A...about your memories? Is that okay?"

Anna started brushing her hair; then threw the brush aside and flopped on the bed. "Oh goody! You asked! What did they say? Can I have them back? I sort of think I remember some stuff already, but it's all hazy, and...oh sorry Elsa, I'll listen."

"Grand Pabbie said I had to c-come back. With you. Because your childhood memories aren't destroyed, per se, but have been altered, he...he would have to use mine to unlock and restore yours," Elsa said quietly. "I didn't really understand it, but I _think _it's basically like yours are locked in your subconscious. They can't be restored to normal without using mine, since what was altered was because of my magic and it's linked to me."

_That must be why they feel hazy to me... _Anna frowned. "What does that mean for you? I want mine back, but not if it's going to somehow mess yours up," she said firmly.

"If I understood right, it just means I'd experience yours with you as they came back to normal and make my magic tired temporarily, which sounds like a huge relief, honestly. But he wasn't sure he could do it because I've gotten so much stronger magic-wise since I was eight." Elsa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "If it didn't work, it would be my fault because I'm too defensive and shut off, and my magic doesn't want anything meddling with it."

Anna did not like the guilty expression spreading across Elsa's pale face. "That's okay. What are you looking all guilty for? A chance of getting all my memories back is better than none. And like I said, I think the frozen heart thing kind of...woke them up a little? Like I feel like the magical memories are just in a fog. Maybe they'll get clearer on their own anyhow," she pointed out. Anna hesitated before asking if Elsa minded answering some stuff.

"I'll do my best."

"Was the burning cold pain I felt slowly freezing the same as what you feel like every day?" Anna studied Elsa's expression closely, not wanting to make her scared but also wanting the truth.

Elsa cringed. _I knew it must be hurting Anna. I knew it. Don't start apologizing over and over, Elsa, that will make Anna sad. _"I...I don't know. I don't process _cold _the same way normal people do, but..." she trailed off and looked down at her hands resting in her lap. _Just be honest, Elsa. Anna isn't going to fuss or think you're weird. _ "That pain you're curious about is...different somehow. It's _not _like a skinned knee or a broken bone. It's not a 'burning' sensation either, though, not usually, not unless I'm panicking and close to my explode limit." Elsa held up her injured arm with the splint on it. "This hurts, but just in the one area. With my magic, it's...all over. I guess imagine when your foot falls asleep and you get that pins and needles feeling, but multiply it by quite a bit and pretend you can still move it properly and it isn't just a lump. And pressure. Just so much _pressure. _It makes me want to rip all my skin off to drain the ice away. I feel like I'm floating but also trapped with tons of weight holding me down. I guess it does sort of ache now that I'm thinking about it, but it's different somehow." Elsa shuddered and crossed her arms around her middle, hugging herself. "It's not so bad now, actually. I think trying to help thaw you used a lot more magic than it seemed, because I feel quite a bit better than normal."

"Elsa, that sounds horrible. I don't understand how you aren't just curled in a ball crying in pain. Yikes," Anna said, frowning. "I know you've tried to explain what your magic feels like before when I asked, but I didn't ask what the hurt felt like." _I'm surprised Elsa didn't explode like she did sooner, honestly. "_You _need_ to let it out. I mean you just said it felt better because of trying to help thaw me, but still."

"That troll said the same thing you did. That I would make myself ill if I carried on like always." Elsa's shoulders drooped as she added, "Pabbie also s-said I had to embrace my powers if I wanted t' be safe for ordinary people to be around. Anna, I don't know _how. _No one is going to want me as their queen if they find out. How do I embrace something I have to hide? Even my harmless mistakes...it's okay if you see them, but not strangers. I'm a lit fuse waiting to explode." _I am talking too much. I shouldn't stick Anna with this. I know she straight up asked me, but...still._

For once Anna thought before she spoke. "I think if _you _acted like it should be acceptable, most people would be fine with it. You act like it's some horrible condition you can't believe anyone will accept. Like you're contagious or something."

"What do you call me freezing you, then?" Elsa's quiet voice was matter-of-fact. _I just...don't want to be dangerous anymore. If there was some not-magical thing wrong with me, I'd still be safe for Anna, and I wouldn't have been separated from her._

"I call it a mistake, mostly on my part. You were really upset, you _knew _what was about to happen, and I misread your warning signals. If I'd left the room or let you go even ten seconds sooner, you'd have just exploded ice all over your room and the hallway and stuff and I wouldn't have been hit. If Queen Elsa acts like she's normal, then I'm sure everyone else will accept her too. Well except for creeps." Anna gestured wildly as she spoke, happy with this thought process.

Elsa gave Anna a _really, seriously?! _look. "Right, I can just imagine me doing that at the coronation or something similar. Wonderful," she deadpanned. "Everyone would love it tremendously."

"Oh pooh! If you let out the rest of that backlog of magic, I'm pretty sure the pressure explosions won't be a problem at all, and then even if you _do _feel like you'll make a mistake, it will be a safe one. It'll be fine. Elsa, you might be quiet, but you're a very likable person, and I'm not just saying that because you're my sister. You're smart and pretty and you _do _look like a ruler as long as you aren't..."

Elsa gave Anna an _I told you so _look. "As long as I'm in _conceal don't feel _mode. Just say it. I know it is true," she said flatly.

"No, I was gonna say as long as you aren't so down on yourself. We've got plenty of time to help you be confident in yourself before Coronation Day. I _promise _I'll help you!" Anna worried Elsa might get upset, but the older girl was standing up straighter now, her expression more curious than anything. "And you told me about that boy Kristoff that helped you get to the troll valley faster while Gerda was taking care of your arm last night. He sounded nice, right? You were being yourself around him and he didn't push you away. He offered help."

"Anna, that boy _lives _with the rock trolls. That's why he was totally unbothered when the stranger he helped can create ice from her bare hands. Kristoff is probably an anomaly, like you," Elsa pointed out. "I'm still _mortified _that he knew who I was. I probably sounded like an idiot. I...I could barely even talk to him at all." _I don't think he will tell people, I mean most people don't know about the rock trolls, and he lives with them, so probably he has the sense to not blather everywhere about magic. He didn't seem the talkative type anyway._

"Maybe, but this stranger was nice to you anyway, whether you sounded funny talking to him or not. If there's one random person out there that immediately accepts you AND your magic, there must be more! Lots more!" Anna's blue-green eyes twinkled excitedly. "Was he cute, Elsa?!"

"I don't know." Elsa considered Anna's question for a moment, and then decided she did not understand how a boy could be 'cute'. "How can any boy be cute? 'Cute' is puppies and kittens, or you when you were a baby." Elsa still clearly remembered baby Anna and that she had thought her new baby sister was _very _cute.

"Not _that _kind of cute, Elsa, you stinker!" Anna was grinning now though. "Okay, what was he like and what did he look like? Was him saving you romantic like in a fairy tale?"

Elsa stared at Anna like she had three heads. "No, I was quite frightened. My thoughts were more _oh please let me get out of here without having to make conversation. _Description would be tall, broad, messy blond hair. Grumpy but kind and a bit strange. He talked for his reindeer, Sven."

Anna was intrigued by this. "I wanna meet him! He sounds really cool. And I think I'll give him a present for being nice to you and helping."

"Give him a new lantern, he lent me one to use on the way home since I didn't want him to bring me home for obvious reasons. He showed me the safer route to use on the map. Evidently the one I took going out _is _the shortest one, but most people know it's not safe at night. I didn't know that since...well, you know." _Since I never leave the castle. _Elsa sighed.

_"_Maybe we could go visit him since you owe him his lantern back anyways. I wanna meet him, and also he's a new person for you to talk to that already knows about your magic. You could also probably practice your magic on a larger scale in the Valley of the Living Rock. That won't hurt anything at all." Anna went back to brushing her hair. "Hey, do you have a list of exactly who knows about your powers already, good or bad? That would be helpful."

Elsa shook her head and stood up. _I never even thought to do that._

_"_Let's make one, then."

"Okay. I'm going to go get dressed and be right back."

* * *

"This is more than I thought. Great," Anna commented after making the list while they ate breakfast.

Elsa frowned and stared at their list. _For sure: Anna, Kai, Gerda, Aunt Primrose, the ex-guard, Kristoff. Maybe: Uncle Thomas, Erik, the three other guards that were with him, Dr. Raske. _"Now that I'm thinking about it, Dr. Raske _must _know, Anna. Toddler me would not have tried to hide it, and he used to call me the snow princess when I was a little older and we both got hurt gallivanting about climbing trees or whatever else."

Anna crossed his name out and wrote it again under the 'For sure' column. "If he already knows anyways, you oughta let him look at your arm. I know Gerda did her best, but she's not a doctor. She told you as much, too. You don't want it healing wrong. Also, I bet you Dr. Raske has got more, like, scientific-y information about how your magic functions, which could be really helpful."

Elsa stiffened and looked very uncomfortable. "Why would he? He hasn't seen me since I was eight years old," she said flatly. _What would I even say? "Please tell me how my powers work"?_

_"_Because, Elsa. Just think about it. You were _born _with it. He helped us get born, right? Baby you wouldn't have remotely tried to hide her magic. Mom and Dad would've had to have _somebody _look at you, even if they kept you in the nursery with Gerda most of the time or something. It would make sense for Dr. Raske to do that since he's the royal physician and, like, patient con...codfi-"

"Confidentiality," Elsa finished, figuring that was what Anna was trying to say.

"Yeah, that. We know our parents weren't thrilled about it, so they probably tried to have him take your magic away, right? Which would lead to figuring out, no, Princess Elsa can't lose her powers, at least not by ordinary not magical means, and information about it in general. You said it flows through you inside, so there must be some signs, right?" Anna asked.

"I have tiny blue sparks in my blood. You probably...saw that..." Elsa looked uncomfortable, and she gave Anna an apologetic look. "There is...more now than when I was little. I used to be fascinated with it, but...you can't get them out. I tried. I don't know besides that."

"I didn't wanna look. That's pretty cool, though, Elsa. _Not _you trying to get the sparks out, I don't even wanna know what you mean by that." Anna stared at Elsa in frustration when she was about to prick her index finger with a tiny ice shard. "Elsa, what the heck do you think you're doing?! Stop it!"

Elsa gave her a puzzled look. "I was just going to show you what I was talking about. You sounded curious?"

"Not curious enough to watch you purposely hurt yourself! Don't you dare do that, even if it's not for the same reason as before! I don't want to see. I'll just be thinking about finding you like that again." Anna took Elsa's hand and held it tightly. Elsa tensed but didn't jerk her hand away. "Also, weren't you born early or something? I feel like I remember Mom telling you that. Am I just imagining things, or...?" Anna asked now.

Elsa shook her head. "No, you aren't imagining things. She used to say I couldn't wait any longer to be born, so I came early," she said softly. _Mom always looked sort of sad though when she said it, even though she smiled. _"Little me was very bad and used to eavesdrop, too. I didn't really understand then, but I...I think I made Mom have a very bad pregnancy."

"That's not your fault. You weren't even born yet! I mean, your magic probably _is _why you were born early though, right? Anyways my point was just if you _were _born too soon, you were probably really tiny and cute and needed extra care than a normal-sized baby, so Dr. Raske had to have given you checkups and stuff." Anna inwardly smacked herself for saying 'normal-sized baby'; Elsa instantly flinched and moved over. "I'm sorry."

"Why? It's true."

Anna bit her lip, unsure what to say. Yes, Elsa was different, but that didn't make her any less worthy of love and care and just being _accepted. _"I don't think being not so-called normal is a bad thing," she said finally.

"I know you don't. I just still wish I was normal like you." _I've accepted that I'm not and that I can't change that, but I still don't like it. _Elsa drew her knees to her chest and dropped her head. "I...I guess I'm just tired. I wish I had a place to belong, and I know I never will. I can _accept _that, but it still makes me sad. I don't want to constantly live in fear that if I make a mistake, I'll hurt someone I love. I don't want to hurt you yet again because I've lost control. Does...does that make sense?"

Anna put her arm around Elsa's shoulders. Elsa stiffened and didn't move. "Yeah. You just want to be yourself and feel at peace with it, that's all, which would take care of the power mistakes in of itself. And be accepted. You don't like socializing with people, but you do want to be accepted." _No wonder Elsa is all anxious all the time. She thinks she doesn't belong anywhere and that nobody else is ever going to accept her just the way she is._

Elsa uncurled herself from her ball and let her head rest on Anna's shoulder. _It doesn't want out right now. I'm not going to hurt Anna again._

_Elsa, you should not be touching her. You nearly killed her!_

_Anna is fine. I know she is. She healed herself and she helped me do my part to fix what I did. _"Do you remember what you said right after I woke up the first time after you rescued me?"

"Sort of..." Anna scrunched her eyes shut and gave Elsa a squeeze. _She's okay now. Well maybe not okay, but I know she feels a lot better now._

"You said, _I love you, no matter what is so-called wrong with you or what you've done. _It just...it didn't _fix _me, but it...helped. I won't ever forget that. You could have run away when you saw that room full of ice. You could have yelled at me for the mess. You could have just left me behind or finished me off, and you didn't." Elsa felt her magic starting to tingle uncomfortably in her fingers, and she quickly moved away from Anna. _I can be in the room with her right now, but she cannot touch me._

"I would _never _have done those things!" Anna exclaimed indignantly. "Leaving you behind or killing you, what on earth, Elsa, that's _insulting_!"

"I'm sorry, but you were just so _kind _to me. I was always so scared you would hate me if you ever found out what was wrong with me, and then you just...treated me like I _was _normal. I can't say it made me happy, because _nothing _was letting me feel happy, but it...it..." Elsa paused, trying to blink tears away, "I don't know how to explain it, but it _helped. _Now when I still sometimes think, _maybe I shouldn't be here, _I try to remember that." _If I can't live for myself, I will live for Anna. I'm not telling her that, though._

Anna frowned. "I'm glad that helps you, but you're supposed to tell me or somebody else if you're feeling like that again. Wouldn't it be easier to stop thinking those things if you talked about it?"

Elsa didn't say anything right away, but she didn't seem particularly upset, either. She just stood there holding her injured arm, gazing placidly at Anna. _What do I say to _that_? "_I don't know how," she said finally.

"You open your mouth and say words. It doesn't have to make sense, either!" Anna added quickly, "I know talking to other people scares you, but talking to me doesn't make you all anxious, does it?"

_It's not that simple. Sometimes I _can't _talk. I just can't. I'm not like you, Anna. "..._Logically, no." Elsa wasn't sure how to explain that she did genuinely know Anna would never hate her or something, but that she still felt worried she might do something wrong to displease Anna anyway.

Anna looked slightly offended. "Then I do make you feel anxious sometimes, and you just know it's illogical. What do I do that makes you feel like that?"

"Nothing! I'm the problem, not you," Elsa said quickly. _Now I've hurt her feelings. Great job, Elsa. Can't you say anything right? _"It's...like now. I hurt your feelings. I get worried I'll say or do the wrong thing, even though logically I _know _you won't be angry with me for it." _There. I think that makes sense._

Anna thought Elsa was probably done talking for now; every time she opened up and tried to voluntarily explain herself, she seemed to just go quiet for awhile after. "I'll try not to be, like, making you talk if you don't want to, but just...you understand that it's _not _bothering me if you just up and say, Well I feel like dirt right now so I need help. I shall stay with you and give you hugs and talk to you. Or be quiet if you need quiet. Well, I'll _try _to be quiet, anyways."

Elsa nodded; then opened her mouth to say something and closed it again. _I can't say anything about that. I know I probably won't voluntarily tell Anna that. When I feel like that I don't want to say _anything. _I wouldn't know what to say. Why is Anna still like this after what I did to her? _"You...you should make me leave. _I _should make me leave," she said finally.

"No. Your magic being dangerous if you can't always control it doesn't scare me, Elsa," Anna said firmly. "I get why you think it is, but it just isn't to me. Even if something else bad happened I trust you to fix it. Besides, look at Elsa from when I first found out you've got magic compared to now. You smile. You cry and laugh and everything in between and I _never _see a great big sharp icy mess like there was in your room that day. You make mistakes, sure, but I think you're doing really good, don't you? 'Well', I mean. Not 'good'. Even when you've literally exploded you immediately thaw everything once you calm down. I don't think your powers are meant to completely stay in when you're feeling intense emotions, I really don't."

"But I nearly _killed _you!"

"Okay, so you did. I don't _care_. It was just a mistake, and you fixed it. You need to stop punishing yourself for mistakes. You act like if you aren't perfect then you're this horrible person that should be punished. Would you think if, say, I accidentally tripped and pushed you down the stairs or something and you got hurt, then I'm a bad person?" Anna wanted to give Elsa a hug, but she could tell the older girl wouldn't accept one right now.

Elsa shook her head. "Careless, maybe, if you weren't looking where you were going. Not bad."

"Exactly. Elsa, your powers are even more accident-y than my example. You literally can't help it. You are _not _bad for making magic mistakes, as I've said a thousand times!"

Elsa looked more uncomfortable than she had already. _That's the problem, Anna. Whether I deserve you being nice to me or not, it doesn't change the fact that I've hurt you. More than once!_

Anna decided to just change the topic since obviously Elsa was not going to change her mind just now. So she just offered to braid Elsa's hair since she knew Elsa wouldn't ask but also would have trouble doing it herself with her arm hurt.

Elsa nodded and said thank you. Anna sat Elsa down on the vanity stool and began gently undoing the tangles in Elsa's long thick hair before braiding it. "Could...could you pin it up, too? Please?" Elsa asked hesitantly.

"What for? You don't even like your hair up," Anna pointed out.

"Because I _have _to go talk to that guard you fired, and I don't feel very...authoritative anyway. I know I look even younger than I really am with just the braid." Elsa's explanation was matter-of-fact. _I'll go write down what I want to say first. That helped when I had to talk to Grand Pabbie. I'll still sound...off, but at least I will have things to say._

Anna didn't really see what Elsa's hair had to do with being authoritative, so she just shrugged. "That doesn't make any sense to me. I mean obviously everybody knows you're only eighteen, so..."

"I don't need to call attention to it. Whatever I do in front of _anyone _now is important and affects the Crown's image. You know that. I've already made a horrible first impression on him," Elsa explained. "I, um...may I ask you a _major _favor?" she asked shyly.

Anna tied off the braid and shoved some jewelry and hair ribbons off the edge of her vanity onto the floor so she could sit on it. Elsa looked slightly startled and perturbed at this but unsurprised. "I'll clean it up later, and of course. What is it?"

"_Please _don't tell anyone what's wrong with me, magic or otherwise. Please. Or, um...what happened the day you rescued me. I can't...I'm not...I wouldn't know what to say if anyone found out." Elsa absolutely did _not _want anyone knowing about it, not even their aunt and uncle if she could help it.

"Elsa, I wouldn't do that. I know that's private. I do like to talk but I can keep a secret now. I'm not a great big tattletale like five-year-old me was." Anna looked a bit sheepish, but she wanted to make sure Elsa understood that she knew what Elsa was concerned about. "Like even if you didn't ask me to not tell people about that, I'd know to not. I don't think I'd want everyone to know if it was me, either. I mean I don't think it should be some bad embarrassing thing but I think it'd be hard to talk about, you know?"

_I sure do know. _Elsa's cheeks turned a little pink. "Thank you."

"You are _very _welcome. I shan't tell anyone. Want me to answer some of your mail for you while you go talk to what's-his-face? Oh yeah his name is Pieter. I forgot. In case you wanted to know." Anna went back to doing Elsa's hair, carefully pinning the braid in place.

"You don't have to, but if you want to, that would be fine. Just don't seal them." Elsa was not sure she trusted Anna's scrawly handwriting for important paperwork, and also Anna was apt to not be very diplomatic if she read something she did not like.

"Sure. Do you want me to just leave space for you to sign them? Or do we both sign since I'll be writing and you're, like, checking it?" Anna asked.

"We'll do both of us," Elsa said firmly. _If Anna is helping me with my work, she deserves credit for it. _"That will be fine. So you can sign, but make sure there's room at the bottom for mine too."

"Sounds good." Anna tied an ice-blue ribbon on Elsa's braided bun once she was finished. "There. All done. Now go do great with your talk thingy. I know you can do it."

**A/N: yep yep yep Elsa's back and she and Anna managed to fix her mistake themselves:) However Elsa is also in a bit of a pickle since now she NEEDS to explain herself before the rumor mill begins. They also now have information on how to maybe get Anna's childhood memories back properly.**

**I felt like it's believable that Anna may acknowledge that Elsa is capable of being dangerous if she's not fully in control...but that she simply doesn't care. Anna's not dumb, but she is stubborn and she won't leave Elsa alone. Elsa is still baffled by this but it helps her feel better.:)**

**Next chapter coming soon!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**A very special thank-you to Elsa Tomago and GeekGirl2 for reviewing the last chapter-I'll reply to you tomorrow! I really wanted to share this chapter tonight and I am tired:P**

**On to the story!**

"You came, Princess Elsa. That is very surprising," was Pieter's first reaction when Elsa went to see him in the castle infirmary. Erik stood guard in the doorway.

_What do I say to that? I will ignore it. That will be fine. _Elsa kept her carefully neutral expression and didn't say anything for a moment. "I wish to apologize," she said finally. _That I wrote down._

Pieter gave her a puzzled and clearly suspicious look. This Elsa did not look...strangely magical like the Elsa he had seen yesterday. She just looked like the teenage princess trained to be queen. "Did you perhaps make Princess Anna react as she did yesterday?" _Is that why she's apologizing?_

"No. I cannot brainwash anyone. I...I am merely apologizing on...on her behalf." _Elsa, stop pausing. It makes you look guilty. _Elsa wished she had Anna beside her, but she had specifically elected not to let Anna do that for the very reason Pieter seemed worried about. If Anna was not present, he could not think she had made Anna be there by force.

"...But you do have some kind of strange magic," Pieter said flatly.

Elsa tensed, forcing herself _not _to look down at the floor, _not _to run from the room. Erik was clearly watching how she was going to react from the doorway, and Elsa wondered what Pieter had told him. Not trusting herself to answer verbally, she just nodded instead. _I can't lie about it. He saw it. Papa, I'm so sorry. I know you didn't want anyone to know._

_"_What did you do to Princess Anna?!"

Elsa instinctively flinched. _No, no, no, Elsa. You have to explain. Explain that you made a mistake but rectified it with Anna's assistance._

"Ah, come off it, Pieter! The princess was just trying to protect her sister when she decided to fire you. If this is about your job, I don't know how the heck you expect Pr-Queen Elsa to reinstate you when you sit there trying to interrogate her and get her to expose some dark family secret." Erik sounded almost angry. "While I admit I _am _puzzled and worried about this...magic thing, I don't believe it's our place to question either of them. She's certainly done nothing to remotely warrant pulling a sword on her, and even if she _had, _you had no right to do so. This is our new ruler whether you like it or not. I am sure both remaining members of our royal family are still mourning their parents, and here you are questioning the teenage princess-turned-queen. Does she really look remotely dangerous or angry? Don't you think if she really did mean any of us harm with whatever strange abilities she might have, she would have done it already for what you've done and said?"

Elsa gave Erik a grateful look, which he acknowledged with a polite nod.

"Besides that, perhaps if Queen Elsa really does have some sort of dangerous magic, she could use it to strengthen Arendelle's military force if need be. You keep saying things about ice to me. I have no idea what she can do in reality and not your ridiculous imagination, but...Imagine if we could simply blockade the entrance to the fjord in case of invasion. Could be useful, yes?" Erik had mulled this 'Elsa has some kind of ice-related magic' thing over for hours and he had concluded he was not going to assume the worst. Elsa and her family had _never _done anything to make him think they would act as tyrants, and he would stay loyal to her and her sister, magic or not. Magic explained why the crown princess had been isolated from everyone for so long. Perhaps she had been practicing (probably not), or her family was just concerned what could happen if others knew.

Pieter glanced from Erik to quiet Elsa and back again. "Maybe," he said grudgingly, "but...I _saw _her hurting Princess Anna. I know what I saw."

Elsa scrunched her eyes shut and then forced herself to look straight at Pieter. She put her shaking hands behind her back out of sight, ignoring the fact that her arm hurt. _Anna would tell me to just tell the truth. If I have to, I can leave. Anna has a plan should everything go awry. No mistakes now, Elsa. You can't. _"I did hurt her, but _not _on purpose. I swear it. What y-you saw was...me _undoing _it," she said softly. Elsa felt tears burning in her eyes and she desperately blinked them away. "I made a mistake and...and my sister helped me rectify it." _Keep it together, Elsa. This is a good time to conceal, don't feel. _"Why do you think m-my father closed the gates and kept Anna a-and me separated? He did not want..._this _to get out." Elsa held out her uninjured hand shakily, her snowflake hovering over her palm. _What am I doing?! What would my daddy say if he saw me right now? Am I doing the right thing? I don't know what else I can do._

Pieter was clearly startled. "You...you..." He swallowed before saying anything intelligible. "How did you _do _that?"

Elsa dissolved the snowflake and balled her hand into a fist. _I can't answer that, because I don't know beyond 'I was born with it'. If Anna were me, she would know what to say. What _would _Anna say? _"I do not know; it's natural for me," she blurted finally. _There. Anna would be pleased I said that._

"Creating snow out of thin air is anything but natural!"

Elsa flinched again. _Elsa, no. Don't run. You can't. You'll make it worse._

Erik turned to face Elsa. "You needn't stay and listen to this. Your secret will not spread further, I swear it." _I can't imagine her meaning ill to this country. No way._

Elsa shook her head slightly at him and kept her focus on Pieter. "Would you have killed me if my s-sister had not interfered?" she asked flatly. _I need to know._

There was a long silence before Pieter answered. "I didn't _want _to, but I believed you were harming the princess with some sort of witchcraft..."

"So yes." Elsa took a few steps closer to him, her gaze sharp. "And Princess Anna. Would you have harmed her in any way?"

"No, of course not!"

_He's not lying. _Satisfied, Elsa nodded and backed up again; she had no wish to threaten him, but if he had said otherwise regarding Anna, she would have thrown him in the dungeon.

"I suppose King Agdar must have wished to protect this secret; therefore I will as well," Pieter said grudgingly. _She's trying her best and I know she must genuinely care about the princess. Good enough for now. _"But I still cannot trust you."

"I understand." Elsa's voice was still quiet, but she spoke as firmly as she could. "I shall do my best to earn it. I...I love my country, a-and I have _no _intentions of ruling by fear." _There. I think that was a fair thing to say. _She looked at Erik. "Reinstate him, but demoted. He may...clean the guards' barracks as punishment f-for three months once his leg heals. No weapons of any kind until that period of time has passed." _Okay, I think that shows I won't put up with nonsense but won't throw my authority around unfairly. _Then, to Pieter she said, "That is for disobeying y-your orders, not for disliking me."

Both men seemed satisfied by this; Erik looked unsurprised but pleased, and Pieter seemed surprised but mollified by that decision.

_"_Also. During those three months your pay will go to the orphanage. You will go there w-with my sister to deliver the money."

Pieter appeared intrigued by this declaration. _An unorthodox choice, but I wouldn't consider it bad, either. "_I shall comply."

"Yes, you will, or I shall let Princess Anna d-decide your fate." Elsa's expression clearly said she did not think Pieter would prefer whatever her protective little sister might choose.

Erik stifled a chuckle with a cough. _She can do this. I was questioning Princess Elsa's capabilities, but she can do it._

"Do I have permission to ask a question?" Pieter asked, very politely.

Elsa hesitated. _I do owe him that. I cannot run yet. Almost done, Elsa. Let him ask his question and then you can retreat to your room again. _"One."

"Is your...magic the reason the special shackles in the dungeon exist?" Pieter's voice was quiet now, and he looked nervous for asking the question, which made Elsa wonder why he had thought it acceptable to ask it in the first place.

_I don't even understand. Special ones? I've only ever seen the interior of the one cell. Are the others different? _Elsa just stood there awkwardly, trying not to let nervous anxious ice out. She did not want to answer that and had no idea how. What could she say? Probably no one but Anna-and Gerda and Kai-knew she had ever even been locked down there temporarily. _I want Anna! This wasn't something I wrote down or accounted for discussing! And I can't very well say I don't even understand the question. How ridiculous is it that I've been trapped down there twice and don't even know what any of the other cells look like? I live here!_

Erik was enraged at that question. "Don't ask her that! What kind of answer are you expecting? Besides, I've been a royal guard since before Prin-Queen Elsa was even born. That cell was there then. Therefore it was not made for her," he said firmly. "I must admit I always found it strange, but it's certainly not there because of whatever odd magic she has."

Elsa thought she might just collapse in relief. Somehow knowing whatever this 'special' thing was had _not _been crafted just for her made her feel much, much better. _I still don't understand-I've always just assumed it was a normal cell-but if it _is _unique, I'm glad Mom and Dad didn't...have it constructed for me. _Elsa excused herself to leave. Conversation over. _I need to go look. I have to know. I wanted to destroy those shackles anyway, but now I have another reason to go down there._

* * *

"That's awesome, Elsa!" Anna praised when a very relieved Elsa returned to her room after her mini meeting and told her what had happened. "I mean I wish you'd just kicked him out entirely but I understand why you decided to punish him that way. And now I get to go visit little kids in a few months too!"

"I did...stutter a bit, but I don't think I was _too _horrible. I tried to think what you might say." Elsa sighed deeply and rubbed her forehead. _That scared me way more than it should have, but at least I didn't run from the situation. _"One other thing, Anna. You broke Pieter's leg with that poker. Don't you think you owe him an apology for that?"

Anna bit her lip. _Oops. I just wanted to get him away from Elsa, not...do that. But that's not my fault. _"No. Because I was defending someone-_you_-who wasn't going to defend herself. Him getting hurt is his fault, not mine!" she exclaimed fervently. "I'm sorry he broke his leg but that serves him right. Next time he won't try hurting MY sister!"

"You don't hold a grudge on me for hurting you," Elsa pointed out, her voice almost a whisper. Tired of trying to act neutral and _not _anxious or upset, she let herself look at the floor while talking to Anna and she didn't try to force all the nervous snowflakes to stay in, either. Anna wouldn't mind that, and this sort of magic "leak" wouldn't hurt her. _I hate talking to people. I just wanted to run away._

"Those were accidents! What Pieter did wasn't an accident. I just. No. No way, that is _not _the same thing. Pieter had no right to treat you that way, no matter what you did. You might be 'just a girl', but you're supposed to have authority over him. He should have reacted like Erik did, maybe kinda confused and curious or worried but not immediately assuming the worst. So there," Anna said firmly. "Here, I'll show you what I was working on."

Elsa was glad to change the subject. "All right." She immediately smiled fondly at Anna and shook her head upon reading Anna's first letter. "Anna, do you really think I-we-can mail this? You can't just say 'No, you have insulted us with that stupid request. Try again.' And you wrote a bit...sloppy..." Elsa looked worried Anna might be upset at being told that.

"Well, the ones I wrote after that one are lots neater. Also lookit at this!" Anna pushed a pile of wadded up paper aside and picked up a different sheet. She beamed at Elsa, clearly pleased with herself. "I figured out how to copy your signature! If you show me how to do this sort of thing right you won't even have to check behind me and sign."

Elsa bit her lip and then started laughing so hard she almost cried. _If it was anyone but Anna, I'd be horrified. But since it _is _Anna...I don't care. "_Anna, you forged my signature perfectly," she said, clearly amused. "Thank goodness it's you that can do that and not someone else."

"Heyyyy, I didn't mean it to be funny, I was trying to help! So's on bad days you wouldn't have to do any work at all." Anna frowned and started throwing the crumpled papers into Elsa's trash can.

"But I _need _to sign myself. I'm not supposed to let you forge my signature. I'll just have to deal with my work if I'm having a particularly horrible day. I don't mind if you do that until my arm heals since I physically can't write at the moment, at least not well, but-"

"Elsa, your, like, inside health is just as important as the outside," Anna interrupted. "We have to help heal those emotional hurts too. You have people to help you, so let them. If you don't want my help with your paperwork, get Kai to help you. I just want you to take care of yourself."

Elsa was not sure what to say to that. _If I tell Anna what I'm thinking right now, she will think I'm crazy. I have to say something, though, and I'm not lying to her. _"There is no use for me if I can't do my job and there are trustworthy people to do it in my place. Do you...do you even _want _it?" Elsa asked.

"No. It would be fun to boss people around and talk to people and things, but I'd hate having to do all of the paperwork you do. I like helping you, but I wouldn't want it. I mean I think I could do it okay if I really had to, but I wouldn't like it." Anna fiddled with one of her braids nervously. "Are you gonna still need me once you feel better?" she asked hesitantly.

Elsa stared at Anna, quite obviously startled. _Anna feels insecure too? She worries I won't need her when I'm always thinking she doesn't need me? "_I didn't know you felt insecure too," she said. "But yes, of course. I won't _be _better without you. Besides, I like spending time with you. You're my best friend."

Anna shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably and then just flung her arms around Elsa, hugging her tightly. Elsa squeaked in surprise but didn't pull away. "I don't want you to be sad but I don't want to not be needed either. And I'm still really scared of losing you again."

_"_Not that I would be much help, but...I don't mind listening if you're ever upset," Elsa answered after a moment, not quite sure how to help Anna. _How can I help her when I don't know how to help myself? _"Oh! Would you like to go through the secret passages to another room of the castle? I can show you when I'm finished with my work for today." _There. Something Anna wanted to know. Maybe it can distract her._

"That sounds great! Do you want me to show you the rest of the paperwork stuff I did?"

Elsa shook her head slightly and just curled up on her bed. "I think...maybe I'd like a nap. Would you wake me up in twenty minutes or so? Please?" _I'm tired and all I did was talk to someone. I have a headache. And this is _not _from my magic._

Anna was concerned. "Sure, but...are you okay? Usually you are all like, I'm fine, I don't wanna rest, or whatever. But I mean, I want you to nap if it'll help, obviously. I just don't want you to be hurting and not telling anybody or something."

Elsa actually smiled now and answered honestly. "It's _not _my magic at all. I just have a headache from trying to...not let myself be like I always am, while I spoke to Pieter. That's all. I am okay," she said firmly. _As ridiculous as that sounds to me, I'm sure that explanation will let Anna know I'm fine. _"I think if I have quiet for a bit, I'll probably feel better."

_Elsa just wants quiet and I've been talking and talking to her. Oh. _"Do you want me to go away then?" Anna asked hesitantly. _I don't wanna leave. Not one bit._

"No!" Elsa immediately sat up, her expression clearly very worried. _No Anna, I don't want you to leave! _"Please don't go, not unless you want to."

Instantly Anna relaxed and flopped on the bed next to Elsa. "I'll be quiet then. I shall stay right here. I don't wanna leave you alone!" She closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep.

Elsa smiled and lay back down, feeling quite content at the moment. She would get up after her nap and finish her work and then she could show Anna the secret passages. The rest of the day would be much better. _I am still terrified of...news of that magic getting out, but I also believe that Anna would be able to help me fix it if something happens. _"Anna?"

"Yeah? Um, you do want me to answer, right? Not be quiet?" Anna wasn't sure what Elsa wanted.

"I just...The cell you let me out of that one time. Is it...normal?" Elsa's voice sounded a bit upset, but also curious. _Why am I asking Anna? I shouldn't stick Anna with this. She'll think I'm thinking about that dream again. I suppose I am, but I'm not scared anymore._

Anna turned over so she could see Elsa. "What do you mean? I mean it was cold, dim, kind of damp. Like I'd imagine any dungeon cell would be..." She was confused, and really didn't want to talk about that. "Are you thinking about that bad dream again or something?"

"Not...not exactly..." Elsa scrunched her eyes shut, feeling a bit dumb for her actual question. _Anna won't think I'm stupid. Who knows, maybe she doesn't know either. _"The shackles. Were they normal ones?"

Anna frowned, her gaze instinctively focused on her sister's hands. _Elsa thinks all the cells look like the one she was in, and Pieter must have said something to make her think otherwise. _"Um. I don't think so. I don't like going down there because it's really creepy, but when I did go down there looking for you that one time, I saw inside some of the other cells...You've never seen inside any of the others, have you?" _Wait a second. "Elsa's" cell IS different. Does that mean Mom and Dad had those shackles _made _for her?! That can't be right. It can't._

Elsa bit her lip and shook her head slightly.

_I can't tell Elsa that. It'll hurt her worse than she already is. She doesn't trust whatever Pieter must have said to her or she wouldn't be asking me this. _Anna gently squeezed Elsa's hand instead and just said, "I think maybe you should take your nap and try not to worry about this. Nobody's got the authority to put you down there, so it doesn't matter one way or the other, right?"

_ I probably should be down there. If what Pieter said is true and Erik is right, there must have once been someone else. Someone else like me, and they were locked there. _Elsa pulled her hand away from Anna and then just buried her face in the pillows to hide her tears. _What am I doing? Why am I letting Anna stay?_

_Because you're scared and hurting and you don't want to be alone. You won't hurt her right now. You know when you're at your limit._

_What if I make a mistake and misjudge it? I can't sleep now. I'm so tired. _Elsa heard Anna quietly get up and then walk toward the door. _Anna's leaving. Of course she's leaving, Elsa, she must have finally gotten tired of dealing with you. _"Stop it, stop it, Anna wouldn't do that!"

Anna stopped short in the doorway at Elsa's frustrated exclamation. "I'm _not _leaving you, I'm going to be right back," she said firmly. "Go to sleep, Elsa." _Is it even safe to let Elsa be alone for a minute? I don't want her panicking or hurting herself... _Anna saw Gerda in the hall and asked her to stay with Elsa while she grabbed something and came right back.

Elsa didn't answer verbally, but she nodded. _Okay, Anna. I'll be fine. I guess you made sure of that asking Gerda to stay._

* * *

"I'm so glad you and Miss Anna are safe," Gerda told her as they waited for Anna to come back. "Please consider not leaving alone like that again."

"I had to. I was _not _taking Anna with me, and we were trying to prevent anyone else from finding out what happened." Elsa went quiet, and she sensed that Gerda did not seem quite as comfortable around her as she normally did. "Gerda, you needn't stay here if you don't want to," she said carefully. _I've scared her. She still cares, as always, but she's scared._

"Why would you say that, Miss Elsa? Of course I'll stay with you."

"Because I can tell that I scared you and I don't want you feeling like you _have _to be here." Elsa's voice was quiet. _There. I said it._

Gerda looked Elsa right in the face. It would do no good to tell Elsa she hadn't scared her; Elsa already knew and would not change her mind. "That doesn't mean I wish to leave you, either," she told Elsa firmly. "You and your sister are like the daughters I never had, and I love both of you very much. I suppose I shouldn't say that, but it's true. I'd stay with you and Miss Anna even if I wasn't paid for it."

Elsa's pale cheeks turned pink, and she was _very _surprised when Gerda asked her if she wanted a hug. _What? I don't understand. I scared Gerda but she's offering me a hug if I want it? _Elsa smiled shyly but shook her head and curled back up on her pillows. _I'm not saying yes. Then Gerda will feel like she has to._

"Miss Elsa. That smile says the opposite, you know." Gerda put a light blanket over Elsa and brushed a bit of hair away from her face. "You two will be just fine."

_Not if I mess up again, _Elsa thought darkly, but still, Anna _was _fine, despite what she had done. Maybe Anna had some bit of magic of her own. Elsa closed her eyes. _I shall go investigate that cell myself tonight. Right now I want my nap._

Anna returned a few minutes later with a cape on and her arms full. "I'm back, El-wait, are you asleep? You look like you're asleep, and-oh. Oops. I'm sorry. I'll be quiet." _Eep. Why did I just run in like that?! I _knew _she wanted to sleep! _Elsa blinked tiredly at her, clearly still sleepy, but she seemed happier, which was good. Anna put her armful of stuff on the floor and flopped back on the bed. She would wait impatiently to show Elsa what she'd wanted to show her and show Elsa what she had found by accident in the attic, too.

Elsa closed her eyes again, happy to have Anna nearby again. If her ice started feeling out of control again, she would have to get away from Anna, but right now it was okay. _I still don't know if I should be here, but...I can't make myself leave, either. Is that selfish? I don't even know. Anna would be upset if I made her leave or left myself..._

* * *

"Elsa...? You told me to wake you up in twenty minutes. It's been twenty!" Anna's voice woke Elsa up awhile later. "I have something to show you."

Elsa just stared at excited Anna. "Thank you for waking me up, but...what is that on your head?"

"My old Viking helmet!" Anna plopped it on Elsa's head; Elsa frowned as if irritated but then smiled. Anna playing with her doing annoying little sister things reminded Elsa of when they were little before the accident. "What I actually went to get was my sorcerer's cloak. Because I wanna wear it when we practice your magic and pretend I have magic too! See, look at my cape. It got kind of small though."

"But I'm not a sorcerer." _Am I? I don't know. _Elsa looked down at her hands and then back at Anna. Anna _still _seemed to think her magic was this fun fairytale-like thing, even after the frozen heart incident. It just did not make one bit of sense. _Yet I _know _Anna does recognize that I'm dangerous. She just doesn't care._

"I didn't say you were. We can pretend you're the sorcerer's apprentice and have magic lessons. Though I don't know what I'm talking about so _obviously _we'd just be pretending that part." Anna was clearly excited as she acted out the motions she had seen Elsa do when using her magic. "So? What d'you think?"

Elsa wasn't sure what to say; part of her _dearly _wanted to genuinely play with her magic with Anna the way they had as little kids, but mostly the idea just frightened her. _And I don't think our parents would approve of that at all. I still don't even know if they would mind me letting Anna in my room. Anna thinks it would be fine, but...doesn't me literally freezing her heart prove I shouldn't be anywhere near her? _Elsa's thoughts flitted back to the so-called 'special' dungeon cell.

"Elsa? We don't have to do that, I just thought it might be fun. Don't be scared. Well I mean it's okay to be scared but you haven't got to do that if it bothers you," Anna said quickly. "Where are you? I can tell you aren't really...here right now. You're thinking about being someplace else. It's not that dungeon cell, is it? 'Cause you were talking about it earlier."

Elsa's eyes instantly snapped to Anna. _How does she know? Am I really that easy to read to her? I don't...I don't really want to hide from Anna anymore. I don't like her knowing what's wrong with me, but it's...it does feel reassuring that she knows and doesn't care._

"It is then!" Anna reached for Elsa's clenched fist. Elsa flinched but didn't yank her hand away. "Can you say why?"

Elsa shook her head. _I wouldn't know how. _Anna's warm hand made her own cold skin warmer. Inside, her magic seemed to calm a bit more than usual and she wasn't actively working so hard to keep the ice inside.

"Miss Elsa, you do know that cell wasn't built for you, right?" Gerda had been staying quiet to let Anna and Elsa talk, but now she spoke up. _Their parents aren't here to help them any longer, not that they were helping before, but... _"I honestly don't know much about it, but I believe you two have an ancestor that had magic like yours. If what I heard is true, the dungeon cell was most likely hers. But in any event, it was _not _built for you."

Elsa tensed, and Anna kept a tight hold on Elsa's cold hand. "Gerda, what's her name? Or his name? Why didn't Mom and Dad tell us? Or at least tell Elsa so she'd know there was someone else like her?" Anna's questions came rapid fire. _Did something horrible happen to this person and they didn't tell Elsa because it'd scare her? I find _that _hard to believe though since obviously Elsa has been scared all this time since she was really little and they weren't helping her._

"I don't know much more, princess. I just remember your father being extremely concerned when Miss Elsa was first born, saying she 'wasn't going to end up like Ingrid' and things similar. She was very very tiny and he kept hoping she was cold just because of that and not because she had magic." Gerda smiled lovingly at Elsa. "You were a sweet little thing. Very quiet for a baby but stubborn."

Elsa turned pink but didn't seem upset anymore. _Just...knowing something is nice. I don't understand why I have Ingrid as a middle name if my daddy associated that name with something sad, but...it's something. I know something. I'm not-or wasn't-the only human with magic. _"Do you think maybe, um...it's the Ingrid you have in that old book you found, Anna?" she asked hesitantly.

"It's gotta be. We need to sit and read it together, Elsa. Gerda, why'd Dad give Elsa the middle names he did? Why use Ingrid and Nicoletta when Ingrid belongs to some sad legend? Doesn't make sense!" Anna scowled as she added, "And why hide Ingrid's story? She's part of our history, right?"

"She must have ruined things," Elsa said matter-of-factly. "Hence a dungeon cell for an out of control mage."

"Well if that's true it's not going to happen to you too!" Anna exclaimed. "I want that cell destroyed. It's making you all upset and if Ingrid really is one of our ancestors she deserves to be in our history books and stuff. Not erased except for whatever Dad was told by _his _parents and that...those things in that cell. It's horrible!"

"She could have been some awful evil person, Anna. How do we know that's not why a cell different from all the others was made?" Elsa wouldn't meet her little sister's eyes anymore. _I feel glad to know potentially why I have magic, but it just...it feels all wrong too. Is that my fate?_

_Stop it, Elsa. Anna would help. She always does. You are being ridiculous; you can't possibly have an unchangable fate like that._

"You're wrong. You know why? Because if she had magic like yours, I don't think anyone could put her in the dungeon by force unless she let them. So she wasn't some evil villain person. I _know _how powerful your magic is. I felt it. Literally. It's normal for you, so you don't know anything different, but you've got a _ton _of power, Elsa." Anna hesitated before adding, "If someone with powers like yours wasn't nice like you, they could _definitely _be pretty much unstoppable. That's why I think you can handle it. Because, you're a really caring person but really strong too. You _have _to be to have the willpower to contain it for so long like you have."

Elsa blinked at Anna, speechless and confused by Anna's statements. "You...could _feel _how strong or not strong my powers are because I...I hurt you?" _I suppose that makes sense, but..._

"Elsa. Come on, face it. You froze me, and then you helped undo it. Yes, I could tell. I think what I felt when you helped undo it was sort of what _you _feel like when you use your magic. I thought of it while you were napping. You said your magic felt like a dammed river and it hurt you, and it wasn't like that when you were little...before. So, by the same logic, that must mean it's just supposed to be calmly flowing through you if you're happy and not keeping it all stuffed inside. That's what I felt when you helped thaw me." Anna tugged Elsa to her feet and pointed at her hands. "And I noticed something else. You've been all tense, and you ball your hands into fists when you're tense and worried you'll make a magic mistake, but since you hurt your arm, that hand is relaxed. I don't think that's just because you got hurt, is it?"

Elsa looked down at her hands. _Anna is right. I don't really understand, but... _"I didn't notice since it still hurts, but it's..._different. _I feel like my magic just knows I shouldn't try using it with that hand right now, so it's...calmer?" Elsa tentatively started to try to purposely direct her magic to her fingers the way she would any other time; instantly Anna gently grabbed her hand before she could do more than lift her hand to try. "I just want to know for sure," she protested.

"I think it's gonna hurt your arm, Elsa. Your powers are really trying to make you feel better and tell you about you, they _always _do, and because you still hate them, they can't help you. Quit fighting it. Elsa-instincts should be good, but like...sad, scared Elsa still doesn't want to let you be _you _and not be holding it back!" Anna knew the only thing Elsa had done for herself was accept that she had ice powers and that they were part of her. She didn't love herself at all and she refused to let herself stop holding it back because she was scared of the consequences.

"I don't _know _anything else!"

"But you do. You did when we were little, Elsa. Don't you want to feel like that again? I know you're happier now than...before, but you don't take care of yourself at all. I think you're trying to, but you need to take care of magical-Elsa too. And I can't do that. I can talk to you and give you hugs and just be a friend, but I can't take care of magical-Elsa because I don't know how and your magic ice is _yours. _YOU have to deal with it, and I don't mean 'deal with it' as in forcing it to stay in and holding it back all of the time!" Anna sensed Elsa was starting to get uncomfortable, but she was determined to make Elsa see what she was doing. _I don't want to fuss at her, but it's the truth._

Elsa pulled away and went over to her window to look out into the courtyard. The dark clouds outside seemed to reflect her own stormy feelings. _I do know Anna is right, but if I let go...I'm terrified of what I might do. I've hurt Anna and I _wasn't _releasing full power. I know that. If I let everything go, who knows how dangerous I might be? _"Anna, I...I don't think you understand how _much _there is. If I let all of that magic be free, it would probably-"

Anna had had enough, and her unsaid words just flooded out. "I _do _know! Because you froze my heart! Elsa, will you just listen and accept your personal judgment about yourself is all wrong? I don't mind helping you, I love helping you, but I'm tired of you _still _pushing my opinions away!" Anna's blue-green eyes were filled with tears now. "I know you're hurting, but I'm hurting too! I _hate _seeing you treating yourself like garbage, I want Mom and Dad back, I want to show them what they did wasn't right and make them love both of us the same! And I want to leave the castle! I wanna go shopping and meet people and go to a little restaurant or something!"

"I said you could go out with Gerda or Kai if you wanted to," Elsa said quietly.

"_I don't want to go with Gerda or Kai-_sorry, Gerda-I want to go with YOU! You have _no _right to be thinking you can judge stuff about _my _big sister for yourself, not when you tried to kill her! You were going to take you away from me! I don't care that you hurt me, I don't care that you're terrible at talking to people or that you get upset a lot, but I do care that you keep refusing to...to just DO something both of us know would help! It makes me really mad actually! You shut me out when things get hard and it's not fair and I never know what to do with you! I hate it! I know you're trying really hard but it makes me so so mad anyways! I just want it to be like when we were little! Stop being so stubborn and stupid!" Anna's heated barrage of words had made Elsa retreat to the opposite corner of the room the way she had at first after waking up after Anna had found her, and now Anna wished she hadn't exploded and made a fuss. _I __shouldn't have done that. I don't think I said anything too mean, though... "_Elsa?" _I almost wish she would just get mad and yell at _me _instead of just...standing there and taking me fussing at her. Little Elsa would shout at me if I really, really bugged her._

_Not shortly after the accident she didn't, _Anna realized. She could remember yelling at Elsa through that hateful door because she was frustrated and angry and wanted her playmate back. Little Elsa hadn't said a word, just pushed a chocolate under the door and stayed silent. _Was she crying then? Or was Elsa already trying to conceal don't feel or whatever other stupid things? _Anna had a feeling Elsa was definitely not going to shout at her now, not ten years later. _But...Elsa _is _angry, _Anna realized abruptly. _Good. That sounds weird, but GOOD. I'm glad she's mad. Might be good for Elsa! _Elsa was still standing in the corner, but instead of the crumpled frightened countenance, she was standing up straight, her shoulders back and chin up.

"Stop...stop yelling." Elsa's hesitant voice was so quiet Anna could barely hear her. Elsa scrunched her eyes shut against burning tears, against the urge to finally scream out _I know I'm not okay and I have to let it out but I don't want to! _"You need to stop. I need to go. You don't understand and you can't." The tone was sharp enough to cut steel. "It is _not _going to be like when we were little. It can't. You are being ignorant if you think it can." Ice crackled across the floor. _Because there's something wrong with me I can't fix and it's not even just my ice. _Elsa ignored it this time and just strode from the room. The second she was in the hall she fled, down the stairs, through the halls and toward the steps down to the dungeon.

* * *

Anna stared in shock. It hadn't been Elsa's words; it was the tone. _I didn't know Elsa could do that. She sounded...almost scary. What was that? I wanted her to shout and defend herself, not...do that. _"Ummm. So that was very bad," she said finally.

The ice Elsa had left behind in her room was amber yellow tinted with red and purple. Anna wondered if she should go after Elsa. _I don't know what she's doing. What if she hurts herself? I have no idea what she might do or where she might go. _"Gerda? Do I go find her? I just...exploded at her and I wanted her to get mad and fuss and defend herself, not...go into some weird scary not-Elsa mode."

Gerda stood quietly by the door and shook her head. "I don't think I've ever seen her so mad. Perhaps...you owe each other an apology..." She frowned, wishing she had something helpful to say.

"I'm really sorry I made her upset but I'm not sorry for thinking what I said, except for calling her stupid. I just probably shouldn't have exploded it at Elsa." Anna began pacing and then kicked an amber icicle jutting from the floor in frustration. "Why won't she just _do _it?! Both of us know it would help if she just let all the rest of that magic out that she constantly holds back. It's _hurting _her. Doesn't she care? And like even if she still doesn't, I _know _she loves me and I am very very sure Elsa knows that forcing that much power to stay inside her is _making _her dangerous. The reason she can't let herself make mistakes is because any little thing can end up setting off an explosion!" Anna dug through the papers on the desk and pulled out the old letter from the trolls. "Like THIS is what set off the freezing-heart-explosion! A stinking stupid letter! It made me really mad when I read it, but it made Elsa panic and end up exploding because she couldn't hold her power back anymore."

"I don't think your sister can help those...episodes, princess," Gerda said slowly. "That's not just an issue with Miss Elsa's magic, it's her mind panicking on her. I think her powers just make it worse."

"I know that, but she should be able to have those horrible anxiety attacks without her magic exploding all over! That's my point! Like..." Anna thought for a moment, trying to figure out how to explain her logic. "Gerda, I _felt _Elsa's magic when she helped thaw me. That was good, in control, powerful stuffs. Not painful at all. When I was freezing, it was bad, out of control, powerful stuffs. And it hurt. Elsa's magic is _not _supposed to hurt her, I'm sure of it. She says she's an explosive waiting to go off. I always tell her she's not, but now I think...I think she _is, _quite literally. Because there's way too much power trapped inside her that she refuses to release for whatever reason. I don't know what to do! I know Elsa said she thought it felt at least sort of better after she helped thaw me because it used a lot, but she still hasn't let the rest of that backlog out." _Except...I do understand why she won't to some extent after seeing Pieter's reaction. I honestly think Elsa could cause a huge natural storm if she wanted to. "_I'm sorry, Gerda. I'm just really really worried and frustrated and mad. I gotta go find Elsa and...fix things. I don't want to chase her away all over again." Anna darted from the room in search of Elsa before Gerda could say anything.

* * *

It took only minutes for Anna to trace Elsa's steps. She found Kai standing awkwardly at the entrance to the steps leading down to the dungeon. "Kai, where did Elsa go? What is she doing now?" Anna demanded. _If she does something stupid again I don't know what I'll do._

"She ordered me to remain right here until she returned, princess."

Anna frowned. _Elsa gave an order? That's good, but..._ "Well if she didn't order you to keep me out, lemme go down there. I fussed at her and I want to talk to her. Right now!"

Kai hesitated. Elsa had not said anything about keeping Anna out, but she'd certainly implied she wanted to be left alone. "I don't think she wanted anyone down there with her..."

"Don't care. If she says 'Go away Anna' and she's not doing anything bad to herself I'll let her be, but I'm gonna check," Anna said firmly. "Let me through. Please."

Kai sighed and let the princess through. _Probably Anna is the only one that even has a chance of getting through to Elsa. Goodness knows that girl is as stubborn as her sister, even if she's quiet about it most of the time. _Somehow he was certain whatever Elsa was doing down in the dungeon was something she needed to work through for herself. She had seemed more determined and angry than upset when she had ordered him to stay there until she came back...and the fact that it had been an _order _from shy, quiet Elsa was good in his opinion.

Anna followed the trail of freezing cold air to its source. Sure enough there was Elsa, sitting on the floor in the cell she'd been locked in before, her knees pulled to her chest. _Elsa's been crying, but she isn't crying now, _Anna realized. _She's just...thinking. Maybe Elsa needs to think by herself. I wanna talk to her, but I'll wait a bit._

Elsa didn't look up; she just continued staring daggers at the shackles lying on the floor in front of her. Yellowish purple ice covered the walls of the cell; there was no hint of the scared red right now. Anna perched herself on the edge of the stone ledge that would serve as a 'bed' in the cell. "Hey, Elsa. I'll just be right here, okay?"

Elsa didn't react beyond appearing to relax slightly. _Anna came down here to find me. She did not have to do that. Especially after she yelled at me and then I said mean things to her. _She wondered if it would be so bad if she destroyed those shackles, or at least tried to. If she and Anna discovered something amiss about their parents and they were alive, what would her father think if he returned and discovered she had destroyed them? _And, forgetting that, what if I _can't _destroy them? I couldn't before. What if it's no different now? I need those horrid things to be there in case I ever need to be locked here to protect everyone. _Elsa deeply wished she could just...not be herself anymore. _I wouldn't be able to live here. I think I'd die._

_I don't want to die. I'd hurt Anna. I'd scare her. I'd make Anna feel horrible like I did when I thought I lost her. I don't _understand _that, but I will not do that to her. I can't. She might not understand why I know it will never be like when we were little, but I know she's just trying to help. _Elsa slowly looked to Anna and then immediately buried her face in her knees. "I...I am sorry," she whispered, her voice muffled.

"For what?" Anna's voice was gentle, and she moved to sit next to Elsa on the cold floor. She would _not _risk pushing the older girl away further, even if Elsa being stubborn about certain things was infuriating to her. _I don't think Elsa can take me shouting at her. I can't do that again._

_Everything, _Elsa wanted to say, but she just said, "I was not very nice to you upstairs."

"Maybe it was good for you to get angry. Means you _know _what's happened to you isn't fair." Anna wondered if Elsa even knew she had morphed from her anxious frightened self to that sharp quietly angry demeanor upstairs. If Elsa could replicate _that _when threatened, she would do just fine. "I'm _very _sorry I called you stupid, and I'm sorry I yelled, but the rest of it I'm not. I know I can't understand exactly what it's like for you, but you have _got _to accept that what our parents led you to believe about yourself and what was best for us is just not right. I feel like part of you is trying to punish yourself for anything and everything that doesn't go perfectly and for just...being happy sometimes. Seeing you treat yourself like that makes me angry."

"You had full rights to yell at me, Anna." Elsa didn't move, and she flinched when Anna put an arm around her shoulders. The last of the yellow tinge to the ice on the walls faded to purple. "You don't have to stay with me, you know."

"Look, Elsa, you're doing it now! Quit assuming anything good that happens to you to be some chore for whoever you're with or something you shouldn't get to have. I _want _to stay with you. I'm not staying because I think I have to! You aren't just some duty to me I'm supposed to care for. Yes, you can be a giant pain, but you're my big sister and my friend. Sisters and friends are supposed to be troublesome sometimes, don't you think? I'm sure I drove you crazy when we were little." Anna was very glad Elsa finally uncurled from her ball and leaned a bit towards Anna. _Finally. I still don't get why she came down here, but at least Elsa's listening, and she wasn't...hurting herself or something down here all alone. At least I don't think so._

"I think Papa thought I was just a duty to him," Elsa said in a very small voice. _Stop it, Elsa. You know Anna misses them. Don't talk about that._

Anna held Elsa tighter and scrunched her eyes shut. _So that's why Elsa acts like this. Harrumph. _"He did a really bad job doing his duty then," she said softly. "Elsa, we can't know what he was thinking. Or Mom. They aren't here for us to ask. But don't assume I'm going to just...give up on you eventually. Because I won't do that. I didn't before when I didn't know what was going on and I _certainly _won't now that I do know."

_Anna did come down here and let me out before. She didn't even press me with a bunch of questions. _Elsa remembered all too well crying and feeling scared no one would come let her out and then Anna opening the cell door, saying _Elsa, you aren't hearing things. I came down to let you out_. It wasn't that long ago, after all. Anna had certainly not known what was wrong with her, but she had not made a fuss as to why Elsa had wanted a hug before Anna freed her hands despite making it clear she didn't like or understand it. Anna had just held her and made her feel better, at least for a little while, especially since she'd been convinced for months that Anna had given up on her since Elsa had no way to know that Anna had been prevented from knocking. "They could have killed me or given me away, that means something, right? Do...do you think Mom and Dad l-loved me, at least a little bit?"

Elsa's hopeful tone made Anna mad, and she squeezed Elsa close. _That's ridiculous. She should not be thinking just _that _is a good thing! _"Yes, I do," she said firmly. "Dad was horrible to you and Mom didn't or couldn't do anything different, but it was because they made dumb decisions, not because they didn't care." Anna could not process what made their parents think chaining their teenage daughter in the dungeon was a good idea, but she was very sure she was right. _Especially Mom. She would never talk about Elsa to me voluntarily, but if I asked about her when Dad wasn't around, she said Elsa was 'sick, but not how you think' and if she ever recovered I could see her again. And she always looked really sad about it. That and before they left on that trip she said 'Elsa loves you. I wish things were different.' "_You _are-_and were-loved, Elsa. There is absolutely nothing you could do to make me not care about you. You don't have to earn that or 'deserve' it, you don't have to be normal, whatever that means, you _certainly _don't have to be perfect." Anna quietly told Elsa what their mother had told her before leaving and the vague answer to her questions about Elsa.

Elsa stayed silent, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. _There is my proof. I don't think Mom would take Anna away again then. Or else, she would let us just talk at least, even if it was through my door._

Anna remained sitting with Elsa awhile longer, forcing herself not to say anything else. _I think I need to let Elsa be. I guess she just needs somebody to sit with for a bit? _It was clear to her Elsa was still mulling things over, but she didn't seem particularly upset any longer, and the sad purple ice faded to calm blue.

"You were right that my magic won't work properly since I hurt my arm, you know," Elsa finally said. "Not trying _that _again until it heals."

"Told you." Anna decided against fussing at Elsa further about that. Obviously Elsa had learned her lesson a little too well trying that; she was still holding the broken arm protectively close against her chest despite being relaxed otherwise.

"Also. I wish to return to that troll valley to fix your memories. And, if you can come up with a more convincing disguise for us than that oversized brown cloak I used, I will try to go with you to the marketplace. At least if I ruined things, I wouldn't be ruining our family name." Elsa paused for a moment before continuing, "I also have decided to write to Aunt Primrose. We can't risk writing any suspicions about what happened to our parents, so we must ask in person."

"Does that mean you wanna go visit?!" Anna asked excitedly. _That would be so cool! We could meet Rapunzel!_

_"_I do. Next spring. That gives me time to maybe not be so horrible at conversing with others. Logically, _if _something sabotaged the ship, they are either already dead and have been all the time, or they _are _alive and whoever the culprit is wants them alive. So if they are alive, they will be fine, and well...if they are indeed dead, we can't help them anyway." Elsa took a deep breath and sighed. "The only issue is I...I'm worried they are indeed alive but are being, you know...t-tortured or kept somewhere horrible." _Like down here, _Elsa couldn't help thinking.

Anna sensed Elsa retreating into her frightened anxious thought processes again, and she quickly stood up and helped Elsa to her feet. "Come on, let's go upstairs. We'll make sure your arm is okay and go finish the paperwork for today together."

Elsa nodded and let Anna guide her back to the main floor. Perhaps eventually she would try to destroy those shackles, but not today. _And I want to go up to the North Mountain this winter. I could let my magic out there and...build something pretty._

**A/N: Anna and Elsa finally snapped at each other in their own ways, but they _are _still just teenage girls, after all. And they both know a little more about the other one that they wouldn't ordinarily say when not angry.:)**

**Next chapter coming soon! (In which more plans start taking shape and Anna finally gets to leave the castle grounds...:))**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**To the guest that evidently hates the story, just...quit reading and go away lol?**

**On to the story!**

Elsa was very glad Dr. Raske didn't even question how she had gotten hurt when Anna made her go to the infirmary. No way did she want to explain everything. Anna stayed right by Elsa's side and just explained how long it had been since it happened, but didn't say how, knowing Elsa probably didn't want to explain. "...Elsa will be okay, right?" Anna finished hopefully.

"Days? Seriously, princess? A few hours is bad enough; don't wait so long to come next time." The doctor gave Elsa a frustrated look and shook his head. "I imagine you haven't changed a bit, not wanting to give yourself a chance to rest and the like. _No _writing. None whatsoever! You should ask Princess Anna or Kai for help with whatever work you need done." Dr. Raske did not look one bit sorry for saying that, even if it was to the girl who was supposed to be his boss.

Elsa didn't reply to that, feeling incredibly uncomfortable both because her arm hurt and because she didn't like someone she hadn't seen since she was little touching her anyways. _Dr. Raske already knows about my powers. If I make a mistake, it won't be the end of the world, _she reminded herself. _At least this is...normal pain, anyhow. I would rather have that than the magic hurt._

_"_There. Please just take it easy for awhile. It's nice to see you again though, Princess Elsa," Dr. Raske said a few minutes later after finishing tending her arm. "Not that it helps, but I'm sorry about your parents. I also see one good thing came of that, though...our two princesses are reunited."

Elsa decided she liked hearing a matter-of-fact sympathetic comment about that rather than going on and on with _I'm so sorry for your loss _false pity. _I think he knows I loved them very much but didn't get along all too well after the accident, too. _"I'm glad I have Anna back."

Anna nudged Elsa's shoulder, trying to remind her she had a question to ask. _Ask about your magic, Elsa! I'm not going to, that's your job. _Elsa immediately realized what Anna wanted. "Do...do you know anything about how my magic works?" Elsa asked now.

"You mean scientifically, I assume, as I'm certainly no magic expert. I'd never seen magic before seeing yours. I don't know much, but I can tell you what I do know. Did you want to see the paperwork from when you were a baby, perhaps?" Raske decided not to ask when or how Anna had figured out Elsa had magic again. Certainly the younger princess hadn't known for very long...

Elsa nodded and said thank you.

"Just one moment then, please. I must retrieve those papers from their lockbox." The doctor bowed and excused himself to fetch them.

Anna bounced from one foot to the other impatiently. "I hope whatever's in those papers is helpful! Also. Do you mind if I go talk to Pieter? I want to ask him some things." _Like why the heck he thought doing what he did was okay!_

Elsa shook her head. "As long as you don't hurt him, you may," she answered.

"Won't touch him, I promise!" _I don't need to._

* * *

Anna went off in search of Pieter, figuring Elsa would be fine looking over old papers in the infirmary. She did not want kind, too-forgiving Elsa with her while she talked to Pieter, not one bit. After asking a few questions as to where he was, she found him resting in the guards' barracks with two guards watching him. First she ordered them to leave. "I need to speak with him by myself. So please wait outside for a few minutes."

"But Princess Anna, he already tried hurting your s-"

"Well I hurt him back to make him stop. I can take care of myself too. Please get out!" Anna wondered what these two guards had been told. Did they know about Elsa's magic too, or did they think it was a rumor? Or, did they think Pieter had attacked Elsa for no reason at all? If that was the case, he was probably in more danger from his fellow guards than anything. They would never forgive him for such a thing, whether Elsa did or not.

The two guards left, but not before telling Anna they would come immediately if she shouted for help. Pieter was just staring at the princess. _Why is she here?_

Anna got right to the point. She crossed her arms and glared at him. "I just want to know why. Why you thought it was okay to _pull a sword _on someone you're supposed to be sworn to protect. Why you didn't _at least _ask what was going on before doing that."

"I was trying to protect you, princess. That was all. Princess Elsa appeared to be hurting you with some kind of magic, and I just...reacted."

"Yeah, but _she's _the first person you protect. Not me. I remember that from my lessons. The guards are supposed to protect the reigning ruler first, then the heirs. In order! Whoever's not in line for the throne themselves in the royal family goes last. So, kind of dark to think about, but that would be my father, then Elsa, then me, then my mother. Since Mom and Dad are gone, Elsa's first! _Always. _You messed up!" Anna was careful not to shout, so no one else would hear her, but she was clearly angry. "So I'm asking again. Why'd you attack my sister without even asking either of us what was going on?"

Pieter hesitated. The princess was right. He _had _messed up, severely. _I should just explain. Tell her the truth. _"Seeing her magic scared me, especially because I thought she was harming you."

"Stop just calling Elsa 'she'. Use her name and title, call Elsa princess or queen, I don't care which," Anna ordered. Truthfully she couldn't care less about titles, and wasn't sure _what _Elsa was supposed to be right this second, but she also felt like Pieter was being disrespectful somehow; she couldn't quite put her finger on why. "Also. Even if Elsa _was _hurting me-which she wasn't-you still had no right to do what you did. She could have you executed for what you did to her. You tried to _slit Elsa's throat. _Do you even get how serious that is?!"

Pieter looked suitably disturbed and worried. "I'm sorry."

"That's not good enough. I don't think you are all that sorry. A big grown man like yourself about to kill a teenage girl like Elsa just because she's got magic is just bigoted and really _mean_! It's horrible. Like even if she _wasn't _your sovereign and you're supposed to protect her, it's _not _okay!" Anna knew she was starting to rant, but she didn't care. "Actually it's murder."

"And, saying you don't know her is a dumb excuse. I don't remember _all _the history stuffs I had to learn, because a lot of it was really really boring, but I know lots of previous rulers were standoffish and kept to themselves. It's not weird. Maybe the exact circumstances for Elsa and me are weird, but Elsa not spending tons of time socializing and talking to her entire staff isn't weird at all," Anna said firmly. "Let me just say one thing. I can't make Elsa do anything horrible to you, but if I see you put even one _toe _out of line, _including _being disrespectful to or about Elsa, I will tell all of your fellow guards exactly what you tried to do to her. In detail. And what Elsa told you. And then I'll look the other way when they punish you themselves. I know they will, too!" _There. That I can do and it'll keep him on his toes._

"Princess Anna! What can I do to make it up to you?" Now Pieter looked terrified.

"You can't. You behave and you've not got anything to worry about. Going after Elsa is _unforgivable _to me, so there." Anna's angry expression was doubly frightening to Pieter since he had never seen Anna speak this way, ever. "Guess what else? If you'd made my sister die, then _I'm _in charge. And then you'd be dead too." Anna balled her hands into fists; for once she understood Elsa attempting to conceal don't feel so she wouldn't cry. She did _not _want to cry right now. _You made me almost lose Elsa again._

"I am not going to harm her in any way, I promise!"

"No, you aren't. You owe Elsa an apology and a huge thank-you for not having you executed. My father would have killed you for what you did, I know he would have." Anna realized she was one hundred percent sure of that. _Dad would never use violence unnecessarily, but no way would he have let this go, either. _Struck by a sudden idea, she added, "I'm gonna talk to Elsa about it too. She always says she wants to do a good job like our father did, you know." Anna knew quite well Elsa wouldn't do any such thing like that, but Pieter didn't have to know that.

"Princess Anna, I'm _abundantly _sorry-please don't convince Princess Elsa to-"

"I don't wanna hear it. Tell Elsa," Anna interrupted. "One other thing. Why didn't you put your sword down after Elsa clearly said she didn't intend to defend herself? If you were _just protecting me _like you claim, then you'd have let her be, since she was just standing there! She wasn't even touching me at that point!" _Does Elsa even realize that? This is even worse than I thought. _"What the heck did you even think she was going to do?!"

"The...magic, princess. I don't have further explanation. That's the truth!"

_And this is why Mom and Dad locked Elsa away. I know that. _Anna rubbed angry tears from her eyes before saying anything more. "You're telling me you were going to kill her just because she's different. What kind of utter horrible _crap _is that?! And _why_? Why did you think that's an okay thing to do? It...it's like killing somebody because they have different colored skin or they're too short or tall or something. Elsa was _born _like that, you idiot! She's not a witch or some bad person!" _I don't understand it._

"But Princess Anna, why was she kept isolated from everyone if she's not a danger to society?"

"Maybe...to keep people like you from treating her like a contagious disease! She shouldn't have been isolated like that in the first place in my own personal opinion!" Anna was careful not to say anything too derogatory about their late parents or mention their childhood accident, no matter how stupid she thought locking Elsa away in her room was. "Pieter, I'm trying _really hard _to understand, because Elsa has been kind enough to give you a second chance. But what you did is awful. I can't justify attempted murder, 'cause that's what it is. We can't have people we're supposed to be able to really really trust do things like what you did. I'll _never _trust you anywhere near Elsa again. Never. You _stay away _from her. I used to like you fine but now I hate you for what you did!" _I know we can't really even let Pieter out anyhow. Elsa said he claimed he wouldn't spread her secret all over, but it's safer to have him around to keep a close eye on him than fire him and let him run free around Arendelle spreading rumors. Even I know that. Since Elsa won't execute him, her solution was the next best thing, I guess. _Anna decided she was finished talking to him now; nothing she said was going to undo what Pieter had tried to do. She spun on her heel and walked away.

Outside she ordered the two guards that had been watching him to have Pieter moved to the dungeon. "He can have food and stuff, of course, but I don't want him let out. Elsa can let him out if she wants obviously, but unless she _specifically _says otherwise, he stays there."

Then Anna ran back to the infirmary where she had left Elsa looking at her old records. "I'm back, Elsa! Did you find anything interesting in those old baby medical records?"

"A bit. This explains _why _I can't lose my magic, at least. It looks like when I was a baby, Dr. Raske tried to find explanations and a cure, but quickly realized there is none because getting rid of the...magic would have killed me. When my blood sample was tested, he put it in centrifuge to get the different parts to separate..." Elsa seemed fascinated, and Anna smiled.

"And?" _I'm glad Elsa just seems curious and not upset. That's good. _

"And my blood reacted normally except that those blue sparks stayed distributed throughout the sample rather than separating into their own. Then when heated, the whole sample just disintegrated, though it didn't change temperature at all for awhile." Elsa tilted her head to one side, clearly thinking. "I suppose that's why I'm still sensitive to heat. Baby me didn't have strong enough power to regulate her body temperature..."

"I wish I'd gotten to see you as a baby. You must've been really cute!" Anna peeked over Elsa's shoulder to look at the papers herself and then scowled when she read something at the bottom of one of the pages peeking from under the one Elsa was looking at. "What's this, Elsa? Can you remember this happening or were you too little?" She pulled the paper out and immediately grew more upset. "Elsa? What _is _this? Did this really happen?" she asked hesitantly, pointing at the paper.

Elsa read where Anna was pointing and instinctively touched her broken arm. "I can't remember that at all," she said softly. _I made a mistake when I was that little and scared everyone. I'm...not surprised. Not at all. _"Don't be mad at Papa. I'm sure he didn't mean to drop me."

"But Elsa, you were..." Anna calculated in her head, "...only _seventeen months old_! You were barely more than a baby! This says 'Princess Elsa dropped by her father after ice mistake. Minor fracture to her arm. Elsa must possess abnormal physical strength if she indirectly lifted a large chair with her magic?' What else happened to you?! That is _not _okay! You were a _baby_!" Anna plopped next to Elsa and flipped through more of the papers, finding more and more she did not like.

Little Elsa sick seemingly because she'd had too many tests done.

Little Elsa not talking because she seemed frightened to try.

Little Elsa not wanting anyone but Gerda to hold her.

Anna's eyes filled with tears, and she slammed the papers back on the table. _It's not fair. Elsa doesn't even seem upset about it. She gets all touchy and upset about loads of things and not this?_

"What's wrong?" Elsa just seemed puzzled and concerned now, staring at Anna. "I can't remember things from this far back. That's why I wanted to look at these. It's fine."

"No, it's not fine! How is this _fine_?! I just-" Anna was startled when Elsa voluntarily hugged her. _Elsa's trying to make me feel better about this and if anything it should be the other way around. Why is she _not _upset by this? Is it because part of her already knew? Why did Dad treat her like that? This is before the accident. I didn't even exist yet. _"I don't wanna know any more, but I feel like I _have _to because it's the least I can do."

Elsa's response was quiet and calm. She pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket and gently tried to wipe Anna's tears. "No, you do _not _have to. Anna, I...I'm honestly okay with this. I'm not surprised. Why would I be? Please don't let how Papa chose to deal with me affect any of your good memories of him. Can you do that for me? I'd much, _much _prefer that than...you being angry with him for having trouble dealing with me. He was just scared and didn't know what to do. He did his best." _That's the truth. I think I'm a bit angry for what happened to me-Anna showed me that-but I'm not angry with Papa at all. He tried. I just...isn't _all _of this my fault? It's because I have something wrong with me. I probably deserved it anyway. Anna is just too kind to me._

Anna hiccuped and kept crying. Picturing a tiny baby Elsa scared and upset, probably not even understanding what she had done 'wrong' made Anna's heart clench. _Elsa was hurting even then. She's _never _been treated properly. Never. _"I...I don't think I want him to come back, Elsa. Not anymore," she mumbled finally.

"Please don't say that. It's _okay. _Dad loved you very much and I'm sure he would be very sad to hear you say something like that." Elsa gave Anna a lopsided smile and added, "Really, what did you think we would find in these records? Are you _really _surprised?"

"Well...no, I guess not," Anna admitted. "It just really makes me mad and upset that it seems normal to you. You cry and get super upset about some things, and then we read something like this and you're fine with it. The fact that you're fine with it hurts." _I guess the reason this doesn't bother her much and reading that letter from the trolls did is because this is stuff she already knew or at least suspected. She didn't know Dad had a chance to read something extremely helpful from the trolls and just tossed it aside. "_That, and well...I _definitely _didn't think I was going to read stuff that implied my big sister was neglected emotionally and, um...physically abused when she was barely a toddler. Thinking you just got treated like crap _after _the accident was bad enough."

"Dad did _not _drop me on purpose! I'm sure of it."

"I know, but you were a _baby, _Elsa. It's not okay. That's really horrible. I see notes from Dr. Raske that he did not think doing more tests was going to help. I see notes saying he was concerned about how you were being treated. I don't like it!" Anna clung to Elsa as if she were worried the older girl might disappear.

"It's _okay, _Anna. I can't even remember these things happening since I was just a baby. It's all right." Elsa hesitated for a moment before adding, "Dr. Raske warned me I might not like everything I read before he left me alone so I could look at these by myself. So, I did not get a...shock like when we found that troll letter before. I'm fine." She smiled shyly and looked away. "You should be able to s-see that since I'm not...making magic mistakes right now."

_That's true. Elsa's not losing control and she's not all tense, either. _Anna sniffled a bit and nodded. "Okay. It's _not _okay but I'm really really glad you're not upset."

"Now I have something to say that might amuse you."

"What?" Anna asked suspiciously, unsure why Elsa had that mischievous smile on her face. _Elsa's trying to cheer me up somehow. I can tell._

"I think you should go look at your own medical records. I asked to see them because I was curious. There are seemingly a hundred times as many on you from all the trouble you have gotten yourself into gallivanting about the castle like a monkey."

"Elsa!"

* * *

"Princess Anna. Do you really think it's a good idea for you and your sister to just traipse about Arendelle in disguise with no guard? What if someone recognizes you?" Kai asked late the next afternoon. Anna had asked Kai and Elsa to go with her to the library to discuss things.

"We can say we wanted to see what went on in Arendelle as ordinary citizens if somebody recognizes us," Anna suggested. "I really don't think people would realize it's us though, lots of people have hair like mine and people haven't seen Elsa in so long, so they won't know what she looks like. She can wear a hat or hood or something to cover her hair just in case. Also, this way Elsa can practice talking to people she doesn't know without worrying she's messing up some super important conversation."

Elsa's pale cheeks turned pink. _That is very true._ "Maybe...maybe if Erik followed a ways behind us. Certainly he knows what is wrong with me, and we know he is trustworthy." _At least I think so..._

"Hey that's a great idea!" Anna exclaimed happily.

Kai still looked dubious, but he nodded. "Please just be careful. I don't want anything else to happen to either of you. The last time Miss Elsa went out alone, she broke her arm. I can only imagine what sort of trouble both of you together might get into."

"Heyyyyy!" Anna scowled. "That's not Elsa's fault! Some crazy creepo hurt her. She didn't like, fall out of a tree or something."

"That was my fault to the extent that I did not know the safe roads. It was also nighttime and quite late," Elsa pointed out. "We will not have that problem going to the marketplace." Elsa decided not to add that she and Anna planned to go try to restore Anna's memories sometime soon. _I know the way now, and we can't take Erik with us to the troll valley. I _would _defend Anna if I had to._

"Elsa's got something else to ask you too," Anna said now. She quickly detailed Elsa's comments and tentative plans regarding Weselton, Corona, and their parents. "I mean I don't want to just let Mom and Dad be suffering somewhere, but we haven't got proof for _anything, _and I know it's far more likely that they're dead even if there was something suspicious going on. And I _know _Elsa can't just go confront the duke, at least not now." _I love Elsa, but I know she wouldn't be able to do that. Even if we had loads of proof and we weren't risking insulting him for nothing. And I do really miss Mom and Dad, but I'm scared of Elsa getting hurt further if they do come back. What could I even do? Hide Elsa in _my _room and protect her myself?_

Kai was quiet for a while, clearly thinking. "It sounds morbid, but I find it extremely difficult to believe the shady duke would risk keeping important hostages like a king and queen alive without sending you a threat of some sort, Miss Elsa. I'm not saying he is innocent-from what you and Miss Anna have said, he certainly isn't-but I do think it's _far _more likely that he would have them assassinated. I also don't believe he would torture them in any way, either, even if he did capture them somehow for whatever reason. From the times I've spoken to and met that man, I know he would just find it pointless because he would get nothing out of it." Kai looked straight at Elsa as he added, "You cannot just go with your sister to Weselton alone. Whatever you decide, do _not _just hop on a ship with no warning and no guard entourage. That is not a place you want to visit with no backup. It has nothing to do with a lack of social skills or experience or that you're a young girl. It's simply unsafe both for you two and the country. Do you understand?"

Elsa nodded. What memories she had of the Duke of Weselton did not lead her to want to converse with him in the least, and she was quite sure he did not want to converse with her either, considering he had referred to her as a little brat when she was three. _I wonder if Dad was somehow on to him about embezzling money or something and he needed to get him out of the way. _"Kai, could you help me go over some of Dad's old ledgers? Please? I think...I think maybe Dad found something and was going to Weselton to confront the duke. I don't know, but..."

"But it makes sense," Anna finished. "Maybe he didn't actually write anything to imply that in his letters to the duke so he wouldn't tip the guy off. That would explain why we haven't found anything out of the ordinary, right?"

"Certainly we can study those ledgers, though I know they've been gone over many times. And yes, it could explain that, princess. I'll do anything I can to help both of you," Kai said firmly. "On another note, why don't you two go visit Corona now, before the weather turns for winter? Otherwise you'll not be able to go-at least, it wouldn't be smart-until spring."

Elsa tensed, and Anna reached to give her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "I don't think Elsa's ready to do that yet," Anna said quickly. _As much as I'd love to do that with Elsa now, I _know _that's too much too fast for her. She doesn't even feel comfortable just walking to the marketplace, I can't expect her to take a trip outside the country, let alone one where people will know who she is and she'll be extra worried about messing up. "_I've got a question. What about people like Pieter? He was trying to protect me and he immediately jumped to trying to kill Elsa just because he saw her magic! He pulled a sword on her!" Anna was still indignant about that and all too aware how close she had come to losing Elsa...again.

Elsa tugged at the collar of her blouse so the bandage on her neck was covered a little better. _I don't want to talk about that. It doesn't matter. Anna saved me and Pieter just wanted to protect her. He knows what was actually happening, now, anyway.._

"I've spoken to Erik about that. Obviously he did not see exactly what happened, but he did mention that he didn't think anyone in his barracks would have reacted that way-including Pieter-had it been anyone else besides the younger princess that appeared to be in danger. Princess Anna is a well-loved sweet figure to them that's friendly and likes talking to them. Princess Elsa isn't disliked but simply put, no one really knows her. They are loyal to the Crown, which certainly includes the mysterious missing elder princess, as she _is _the crown now. But the younger one is the one they've seen, so Pieter, being a hothead and forgetting himself and all rules, chose her when it appeared it had to be one or the other." Again Kai looked at Elsa. "Magic isn't totally unheard of; it's just no one has _seen _it. Make them see a gift. Erik already thinks you might be able to help defend Arendelle if necessary."

Elsa privately wondered if hothead Pieter should be her precious little sister's personal guard. If he was someone that would always choose Anna's safety over anyone else's, then she could trust him to protect Anna. _Probably not, though. Pieter would be in more danger from Anna than Anna would be from some outside threat!_

Anna was still scowling. "I'm not going to be queen. Elsa is. What do they think about her? The ones besides Pieter, I mean. I already talked to him plenty."

Kai hesitated; he did not consider what Erik had relayed to him to be entirely favorable and he wasn't sure what to say. _I may as well tell them. Anna and Elsa will find out sooner or later anyways. _"It seems that most of them think she's simply been ill, even though I know your parents tried to spin it that she has just been training and studying. They assume she's been spending all her time isolated away studying _because _she has been 'ill' and didn't have anything else to do. I think it might be best to go with it and say you're recovering and will be fine, Miss Elsa," he told them.

"Well it's not exactly wrong," Anna said quickly. "Elsa's magic is 'ill' and we're trying to help her feel better and 'recover', so. And that's not a bad thing either. They'll love Elsa once they get to know her." _Good. That's a perfectly reasonable thing to believe about Elsa._

"They don't...hate me or anything?" Elsa asked. _I won't be surprised. Why would anyone want a sickly teenage girl on the throne? They probably think I can't do my job. And I know I can't without Anna's help._

"No, Miss Elsa." Kai's voice was firm and held no room for argument. "You may need to prove you're competent at your job, but considering they have solid jobs and our economy is good, that won't be difficult."

"How do we explain Elsa's arm if she's been 'sick'?" Anna was still concerned about Elsa's arm not healing right, even after she had made Elsa let Dr. Raske look at it the day before. _I know it's still hurting her, she woke up twice last night, and then she just said she was happy it wasn't her magic that had woken her up when I asked if she was okay. And then she scolded _me _for not sleeping!_

"Say she slipped and fell. No further explanation necessary. That can happen to anyone; you two don't need to attempt explaining the frozen heart incident at all." Kai paused before adding, "Not to mention no one has a right to question you like that. There is one last thing. I think you need to figure out how you wish to reveal your magic more quickly than three years from now. The other guards that were with Erik during the incident are curious and worried about you."

_They're _worried _about me? What? I'm not ready to be queen. What if I disappoint all these people when they are trusting me to take my father's place? _Elsa felt both relieved and concerned to hear that. It was nice to know people she didn't even know cared about her, but the idea that she wasn't what those same people were hoping for was scary. If they knew everything, would they still care, or would they just want her gone? Certainly they would not want to have her in charge, at the very least, even if they didn't hate her.

"That's great, though!" Anna exclaimed happily. "That means they genuinely care about you, Elsa. Everyone's going to love you, I just know it." She impulsively gave Elsa a hug, being careful not to squish her arm.

"And if they don't?" Elsa asked quietly. This time she didn't pull away from Anna's hug. _I just find it hard to believe..._

"That's not gonna happen, but if it did, we'll just convince everyone otherwise."

"If that happens, you show the dissenters they do not affect you, even if they do. Prove them wrong. Put game face on and ignore it. Protect yourself by keeping trustworthy individuals around you. Your job is _not_ to please every single person. It's impossible. Do you really believe _every _person approved of your father's rule? Of course not. Certainly he was well-liked, but he still had those that would trash talk him." Kai finally smiled at Elsa and softened his voice a little. "Miss Elsa, you can handle this. You've plenty of experience talking to someone you felt didn't approve of what you were doing. Is dealing with people you don't know easier or harder?"

Elsa's shoulders drooped a bit. "Easier. I care much more about Papa's opinion than I do about what strangers might think. I just...I don't want to dishonor his memory." _And I'm still just so...anxious about trying to talk to others. I don't even know why._

Anna made a face. _Elsa's _still _thinking about what Dad would think of her. At least she's letting me hug her. That's something. _"You won't. You'll be great. You'll be the pretty magical mysterious Snow Queen and everyone will love you."

Elsa had nothing to say to that, but she couldn't help smiling at Anna's comments. In another world, maybe...she thought she wouldn't mind being that. No, she wouldn't mind that one bit.

* * *

Anna giggled after dinner as she and Elsa tried on the outfits Anna planned for the two of them to wear to the marketplace. Since Anna liked doing active things outside, she had some old worn-out casual outfits from their mother that Gerda had taken apart and then remade to fit Anna. Elsa was taller than her younger sister, but she was so skinny the clothes still fit. They were just a little shorter on her. "We're going to have lots of fun tomorrow, Elsa, I promise. I'm so excited!"

"...Tomorrow?" Elsa was startled by Anna planning to go out so _soon. _She stared at Anna as she flitted around the room. _What if I mess up? I know I told Anna I'd try, but..._

"Yes. I thought we could just do something really little at first. Maybe just walk to the chocolate shop to get a snack and come right back. You don't even have to do the buying this time," Anna assured her. "And for getting in and out of the castle, you're going to guide us through the secret passages. Erik will 'meet' us in front of the castle since he's not supposed to know about them. I didn't tell him about the passages, by the way. He just knows there are some in the castle somewhere, not where or how _many _there are. It was his idea, actually."

"Anna, if I shut the entrance behind us, we won't be able to get back in. Any exit to get outside the walls cannot be opened from the outside," Elsa explained slowly. _Am I really doing this? What would my parents think? I got in trouble for going into the woods behind the castle before..._

_"_How'd you get back in when you got back from the trolls then?" Anna asked.

"I, um...scaled the wall with an ice ladder and then dissolved it. I made sure no one saw me." Elsa looked embarrassed at that admission. "I didn't know what else to do."

But Anna was intrigued by this. "Cool. I don't really get how you did that with a broken arm, but super cool!"

Elsa's blue eyes twinkled hearing that. "Very awkwardly. The ladder-making was easy. The ladder-climbing was not," she deadpanned, happy to make Anna think something she had done was cool. "But really, I seem to remember hearing you doing all sorts of ridiculous things in the castle after you broke _your _arm a few years ago. Including riding a bicycle down the stairs _again._"

"Not right after it happened and nobody took care of it yet!" Anna protested.

"I put ice around it."

"Yeah, I know, but I also know you're immune to cold and it didn't numb it or anything like ice would for me. _Anyways..." I don't want to think about Elsa struggling to get herself home anymore. I'm glad she's at least sort of okay, but still. _Anna pulled a plain blue hooded cloak out of her wardrobe. "You can wear this one. I know you like blue."

"Are you _sure _you want to let me borrow these things?" Elsa let Anna fasten the cloak around her shoulders and just stood there stiffly. _Why does Anna want to go _anywhere _with me when I told her she could go with Kai or Gerda? At least then Anna could do whatever she pleased without me holding her back._

"Yes! Very sure!" Anna exclaimed. "I haven't gotten to go anywhere in so long, of course I want to go with you. If that means we just go out for a few minutes and do one thing, that's fine. You don't even have to say a word this time if you don't want to."

"I feel like you're babysitting me because I can't do it by myself," Elsa said quietly, clearly frustrated. _I'm supposed to be taking care of Anna, not the other way around._

"You suck at talking to people you don't know and it scares you, that doesn't mean you _can't _go by yourself. You don't want to. You _did _go out by yourself, all the way to the Valley of the Living Rock, and you got somebody to help, too, because you had to. So, I'm not babysitting you. I'm helping, to make doing something that's fun for me easier for you, so you can have fun too." Anna was determined to make it so Elsa had a good time on their outing too. If that meant she wanted to be quiet and not say a word, then fine. "There. We can still see a little bit of your hair under the hood, but I think it'll be okay."

Elsa did not think this was going to be fun one bit, but she didn't say anything about that. _I'll let Anna have her fun. I just can't make any mistakes. I can't. _"Anna, if someone matches _my _hair with that of the princess no one has seen for ten years..."

"They won't, because they won't be expecting or looking for you. Elsa, really, even if someone does think you look like Princess Elsa, they'll just assume it's a coincidence. You'll be fine," Anna said firmly, though she did not think it would be so bad if someone recognized Elsa anyways. "Also, how about we just leave the secret passages exit not quite latched closed or whatever, and you seal it with ice behind us? Then when we get back we can just get back in the same way if you dissolve the ice."

Elsa hesitated. _That could work, but what if I can't dissolve it for some reason? Then we would be stuck. _"Maybe..."

"Okay then, that's decided!" Anna said happily. A 'maybe' from cautious Elsa constituted a 'yes' in Anna's mind. "Just...you can do that with one hand, right? I don't want you hurting yourself."

Elsa was very tempted to say no, she couldn't, but she did not want to lie to Anna, and she was sure Anna would know, anyways. Either that or Anna would get more worried about her than she already was. So she nodded yes. "I'll try my best to be...normal tomorrow. I have no idea how this is going to go, but I will try." _That's fair. I can try. I just want to make Anna happy._

"I don't want you to be 'normal', whatever you mean by that, I just want you to be yourself. And like, if you really feel awful and you need to come back home, that's okay too. You just have to tell me so I'll know." Anna dearly wanted to make sure the older girl knew she wasn't going to be upset if Elsa didn't want to stay out very long. "Elsa, what's wrong? You're snowing."

Elsa jumped in surprise; she hadn't even noticed the snowflakes yet. _What if I mess up? What if I make a _small _mistake like this and someone sees it? If someone bumps into me and I get startled...even something as simple as that could ruin everything. _"I'm terrified of someone seeing me make a mistake, Anna. It's not even so much hurting you or someone else-I think I could run far enough away before exploding assuming you aren't trying to hold me-but there is _no way _I can guarantee I won't make some small mistake like I am now," Elsa explained. She managed to dissolve the snowflakes floating around her and sighed.

"I'll warn you if I see so much as one snowflake. Then you can get rid of it before anyone else notices," Anna assured her. "Besides, I told you, I _really _don't think most people would care anyway." _It's just...what if we _did _run into somebody that's some judgemental idiot? Then what? Even if they didn't try to physically hurt her, it would really hurt Elsa's feelings, which is worse, and it'll just confirm to her all the more that she doesn't belong._

"I can tell from your face you're worried too. You know I have a point." Elsa gave Anna a sad smile. "I think...I think maybe you should just go and leave me here. I could just wait inside the secret passages entrance for you so you can get back inside easily?"

Anna scowled. "No, if you won't come then I'll stay too. That's not fair to you!" _Nothing's been fair for Elsa, ever. Not even when she was so tiny she doesn't even remember. I'm not leaving her behind, I can't. _She couldn't help thinking it was also unfair that their parents hadn't told her about Elsa. There was no justification for that in Anna's mind. _I was lied to ALL THIS TIME and poor Elsa was locked away isolated in her room! I wish I could just ask _why.

"I'm saying it is okay. Staying behind while you go out for a bit is not going to make me upset. It has nothing to do with being fair or unfair." Elsa paused before adding, "Being able to go out is not particularly important to me. I would enjoy going up to the North Mountain, but I don't _have _to. All I ever needed was to have you back, and I have that." _That's the truth. I have other wants, but there's nothing else I _need.

Anna decided to make a mental note of Elsa's wish to go to the North Mountain and take her there once it was winter. This was _not _the first time Elsa had mentioned that, and considering Elsa did not usually express things she _really _wanted much, that must mean Elsa wanted to do that a great deal. "How about we just walk around outside the castle walls a bit then? Then if you're still feeling good about that, we'll go buy some chocolate or something."

Elsa did not think she was going to feel good about that, but she figured if Anna was willing to immediately tell her if she made even a tiny mistake..._surely _she could go with her little sister on a short outing. "All right."

* * *

Anna's excitement the next morning made Elsa even more determined to make sure she didn't somehow mess up their outing. The weather was sunny but crisp, and Elsa was glad she wouldn't be roasting in her cloak. While Elsa thoroughly loved being able to feel temperatures again, she'd quickly discovered she could start feeling overheated very easily. Warmth was nice; actually being hot, not so much. Now, standing right outside the secret passages' exit with Anna, Elsa realized she felt a tiny bit of excitement mixed with her unending worry that she might somehow mess things up. _I'm outside the gates. With Anna! I never thought this could happen. Never, ever._

Anna whispered for her to seal the entrance with her magic before they moved on; Elsa took a deep breath and glanced around before following Anna's instructions. "Awesome. Let's go, Elsa!" Anna said happily, and grabbed Elsa's good hand.

"Don't call me that! What if someone hears you?!" Elsa did _not _want to attempt explaining why the two royal princesses were outside the castle gates dressed as commoners, magic mistakes or not.

"Okay. I'll call you...Nicolette. Sort of like your middle name but not," Anna said agreeably, and kept walking, keeping a tight hold on Elsa's cold hand. _I'll know if Elsa's okay or not 'cause her skin gets freezing if she's freaking out. Elsa's anxious right now but I think she's all right. _"Hey, there's Erik!" Anna smiled at their disguised guard right in front of the castle gates a few minutes later and waved; he nodded politely and then pointedly appeared to not be paying them any mind. "Where do you want to go? We could walk down to the pier, or go over to the marketplace. Whatever you want."

"Um...the...the pier. Fewer people," Elsa said after a moment. Morning meant it was very busy in the village square and marketplace. Elsa wished they had waited until later, but for once Anna had woken up early, and been quickly ready to go. _This...isn't so bad though. I do like being outside with Anna._

"You got it!" Anna turned toward the fjord; then was startled when Elsa stopped short and pulled her hand away. "What's the matter?"

"Water. Too much water. I don't think it's a good idea," Elsa whispered. _Anna wanted to buy chocolate. I think I can do that with her. This is pathetic. I'm scared of going to a shop to buy chocolate... _"Let's go buy chocolate like you wanted to do instead." _No emotions going haywire in public today, Elsa. Keep it together. You can conceal don't feel until you get home._

"You're sure? We don't have to if you don't want to. I mean we do have chocolate at home." Anna searched Elsa's face, but the older girl had her carefully neutral expression on, and she was standing perfectly straight. _She doesn't seem upset, but..._

"I am sure. You had better go before I change my mind," came Elsa's carefully measured reply. _Just a little while, Elsa. Let Anna have her fun. If today goes well, then maybe you can relax a tiny bit next time. Keep neutral mode on if you can't trust yourself otherwise._

Anna thought Elsa would look every inch the prim and proper princess-turned-queen at the moment if she were dressed in her usual clothes. Certainly no one would notice the tiny signs that Elsa was very uncomfortable. In seconds she had gone from the anxious traumatized Elsa to the impassive neutral Elsa that Anna hated seeing just as much as seeing her sister hurting. _Well then. Elsa can _definitely _hold it together in public, but I don't want her feeling like she has to be...that, either. _Anna walked over to a bench and sat down with Elsa, who gracefully sat beside her, sitting perfectly straight. "Elsa." Anna spoke very quietly so only Elsa could hear. "You don't have to go into 'conceal don't feel' mode. Just be yourself. Besides, you are gonna give us away carrying yourself that way. "

Elsa blinked in surprise, and her face broke into a smile. _I look like a queen then, if Anna says that. That is nice to hear._

_"_That's better." Anna smiled back. _I don't know what made Elsa smile just now but I'll take it. "_Lemme know if you need to go into neutral mode again, okay? That means we will go home and try again another day. I know doing that would be useful for talking to some creep that means us ill, but otherwise that's bad."

"I'll try." Elsa nodded and tried her very best to relax.

"Do you want to buy our chocolate snacks or shall I?"

Elsa shook her head hard. "Unless you want me to do...the conceal, don't feel mode, no." _At least I have discovered that much. Doing that is a tool. I have just been using it wrong._

Anna nodded. "Then no. I don't want you to do that. Not for buying chocolate! Let's go. If I remember right, the chocolate shop is that way, unless it moved," she said, pointing. That was one place five-year-old Anna had _definitely _known how to get to.

* * *

Anna practically skipped into the chocolate shop a few minutes later, half dragging Elsa, who was most definitely _not _skipping, behind her. "It smells and looks just the same!" she exclaimed in delight.

Elsa was mostly just happy to see Anna so happy. She was already feeling overwhelmed at all of the noise and sights, even though she remembered everything clearly from when she was a child. _I've never been out where no one recognizes me or treats me like the princess. I like not feeling like I'm being stared at the whole time, but it also means people just come right up close to you. That I don't like. _Elsa yelped and backed up when a small child tugged on her skirts. _I don't want to hurt it!_

The little girl's lower lip quivered; she was as startled as Elsa. "I...I s-sorry!"

Anna turned around from where she was at the counter to see what was going on. Elsa was staring at the child with wide eyes; the little girl staring back. _Elsa can talk to a little kid. I'm not interfering. _"May I have two strawberry creme chocolates and two of those big ones with the caramel, please?" she asked the woman behind the counter.

"Certainly. Daisy! Please don't scare the customers," she scolded her daughter as she wrapped up Anna's chocolates. "Sorry, she didn't mean to scare your friend."

Anna grinned. "She doesn't get out much. Nicolette can talk to Daisy, I'm sure," she said quickly. _I think this woman is the old owner's daughter Marie that was like...maybe a teenager when Elsa and I came here when we were little? I'm not sure. Daisy must be her kid!_

Daisy turned big round eyes to her mother and then gazed back at Elsa, who finally gave the little girl a shy smile. "Are y-you getting lots? Get the c-caramel ones. Yummy."

Elsa hesitated before nodding. She did not feel like she needed to hide anything that was wrong with her from Daisy. This child reminded her of little Anna, who _always _accepted her and even tried to help when she was sad. _Daisy would not hate me if I messed up here. I'm sure of it. I just...don't want to hurt her. _Elsa's blue eyes filled with tears, and she tried to blink them away. "I...I think I will try those," she said after a moment.

Daisy hugged Elsa's leg. "Don't cry." A single snowflake landed on Daisy's nose, and she gazed at Elsa in wonder. Was that from _her?_ Also, Daisy could see Elsa's distinctive hair peeking out from her hood. This grownup girl sort of looked like the big picture of the elder Arendelle princess at the library...that could not be right. The portrait girl was not _that _much older than she was, and this one was almost a grownup. Almost.

Elsa flinched and tugged herself free, but then she knelt down to eye level with little four-year-old Daisy. "Thank you very, very much, Daisy. I...I can't give you a hug t-today, but maybe another time," she said softly. Elsa knew she would come back here again with Anna so she could see Daisy again. Maybe next time she would feel safe enough to give this little girl a hug.

Daisy looked confused, but then she beamed. "Okay." Usually customers seemed irritated or something with her when she greeted them. They certainly didn't do what this girl had just done.

Anna continued nonchalantly making small talk at the counter, keeping one eye on Elsa. _Elsa seems a bit upset, but I think she's fine. And she actually talked to a stranger without me prodding her to or something. Yeah it's just a little kid, but that's a good start! It doesn't look like she's doing her dumb conceal don't feel thing either._

When Anna and Elsa left the shop a few minutes later, Anna immediately informed Elsa she was very, very happy Elsa had talked to someone, even if it was just a small child. "You actually _stayed _talking to her for a bit, too! What did Daisy want, anyways?"

"She said we should get the caramel ones, and then she...noticed I was upset and said don't cry. Daisy _hugged _me. So I told her I couldn't hug her today, but maybe another time. Then she asked what happened to my arm and said I should eat some chocolate to make it feel better. She...reminded me of you when _you _were that tiny...just not as...noisy as you were." Elsa was quite clearly _much _happier now than she had been before they had gone into the shop. _I want to go home now, but...I feel like I could do this again. Nothing happened!_

Anna grinned. _I knew this would be good for Elsa! Yay. She's still nervous being out and about, but she seems better already. _"Do you want to sit somewhere and eat the chocolate we got, go to another shop, or go home? Whatever you want to do is fine," she assured Elsa. _Honestly we already did more than I thought Elsa would be okay with at first._

Elsa mulled that over briefly before replying. "I'd like to go home, but I...I wouldn't mind doing another short outing tomorrow. Would that be all right?" No way did she want to push her luck too much and risk a mistake more than she was already. The longer she remained in the busy marketplace, the more likely it would be that she would make a magic mistake because she felt overstimulated with too much noise, too many people, just...too much _things _going on in general. _It makes me feel more tense and on edge than I would be anyway._

"Sounds great! We can go home and eat outside or something. Come on." Anna took Elsa's hand and didn't let go until they arrived back home.

Back at the chocolate shop, Daisy was still thinking about the strange girl she had spoken to. "Mommy, that girl l-looked like P'incess Elsa. Liberry picture. But, she w-was a grownup. S-sort of." Daisy sat on the floor behind the counter licking her fingers after eating one of her favorite chocolates.

"Oh, Daisy, don't be silly. Her friend said her name was Nicolette. It couldn't have been the princess. Neither of them ever leave their castle now," Marie told her young daughter. She had not gotten a particularly good look at the customer her daughter had been talking to since she'd been waiting on the girl's friend, and the idea that Princess Elsa would have come into her shop with a friend and no guards in sight in ordinary clothes seemed ludicrous to her. _Especially _Princess Elsa, who she knew had not gone to her parents' funeral. No one had seen either of the royal princesses in ten years. Marie frankly did not care much what the royal family did in their personal lives; that was their own business. Arendelle was peaceful and safe and that was all she wanted. She _did _remember the two young princesses coming into her family's shop a long time ago, but they came with a lady she assumed was their nanny. They had been very very cute and a bit irritating to Marie's younger self.

Especially the younger one, who would gobble up enough chocolate for ten children her size and sometimes made a great big mess that then had to be cleaned up. However, she _always _said thank you and tried to help clean up the mess when her sister asked her to.

Daisy hopped up to wash her hands. "Oh. She was n-nice. Want her t' c-come back," she informed her mother.

Marie smiled and shook her head. "I'm sure they'll be back sometime."

**A/N: Heheheh Daisy of all people is a little bit suspicious;) And yes, she's the same Daisy that has appeared before, but she's only four here since it's three years earlier.**

**If anyone's wondering, I picture Daisy's mom Marie to be about 25-30 or so. Hence why Anna thinks she remembers Marie as an older teenager from when she was little. (And why Marie remembers Princess Anna as a sweet, noisy, cute-but-somewhat-annoying five-year-old, lol.) **

**Next chapter coming soon!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**Forsaken284: Thank you! I'm so glad you liked it anyways:)**

**Elsa Tomago~ Anna will do anything to protect Elsa, especially since she knows that, at this point, Elsa won't do anything to defend herself. (she physically CAN, but she just...isn't willing to just yet). Pieter knows quite well that Anna WILL carry out her threats if she gets mad enough, so he won't do anything else, lol. I liked writing Elsa meeting Daisy:) They are cute:)**

**On to the story!**

"Elsa, I'm glad you're using your magic more, but what changed your mind all of a sudden?" Anna asked a few days later. Rather than using the small practice room Anna had originally set up for Elsa to practice using her magic in, Elsa had gone down to the ballroom with Anna and sealed the doors shut.

This room was much larger and Elsa could let her powers out on a bit larger scale without worrying she was far too close to Anna. "Because if we are going to go fix your memories, I need to be able to protect you if necessary," Elsa said quietly. _I have to. I don't want to risk another incident like what happened to me, even if we are using the safer route. A nice person like Kristoff might not be around next time. _"If something happens, you _promise me _you'll run. I don't want to risk having you associated with me should there be trouble because someone saw my magic. Also, I need to figure out how quickly, before winter sets in. I'm not going to risk your safety walking all the way to the troll valley if it's below freezing and there is deep snow everywhere. I do not want to make you wait until next spring to fix your memories, so I must do this now." She went back to experimenting gingerly, blue sparkles dancing around her as she turned this way and that, ice spreading beneath her feet and vanishing again to practice dissolving as well as creating.

Anna was horrified. _So Elsa will use her powers to defend me, but not her, and she thinks she'd just have to...sacrifice herself? _"Um, no. I can't promise something like that. If we run into trouble I shall stay right by your side. I'm not going to run away or...or claim I don't know you!" she exclaimed. "Besides, you can't fight with that arm, Elsa. You're hurt."

Elsa stopped what she was doing and glanced down at her broken arm resting in its sling; then just looked right back at Anna. "Yes, I can. I'm not using it," she said in a small voice. "I do not have to." _I know I can. Obviously I could do more if I wasn't injured, but I _know _I could easily defend Anna if I had to. _One small, barely detectable motion with her good hand and a second later, and Elsa had a latticed ice cage around herself. It wasn't particularly pretty, unlike most things Elsa's magic made, but deep inside Elsa knew if she made one of these around someone trying to hurt Anna, the person would not be getting out. "Come try breaking it."

Anna stared at her. "Elsa, get out of there. I don't like seeing you in a cage," she muttered. _Also, what if Elsa gets upset and she's inside something like that? I wouldn't be able to get to her to help!_

Elsa was puzzled, but she quickly dissolved the ice. _It's getting easier. That's...reassuring. _"I'm sorry. I just...I'm trying to think of how I could neutralize someone without hurting or touching them in any way. Obviously I hope nothing would happen at all, and it probably won't, but I _cannot _risk your safety. I just can't. I suppose that is ridiculous seeing what...what I d-did to you myself, but _surely _I can prevent other people from hurting you..." Elsa looked down at the floor and bit her lip. Frost was crackling under her feet, and she sighed and rubbed her forehead. _Get it together, Elsa. If you can't even explain yourself to Anna, how can you expect to ever be able to protect her? Am I even doing the right thing? Maybe I shouldn't even try. _

_Maybe you should just ask someone to teach you how to use a gun or something. Forget the magic._

_No. In this case, I...need it. What am I even thinking here?! I don't even want it! _Elsa scrunched her eyes shut and took a deep breath. _Okay. Whatever I do, I need to _at least _get Anna to those trolls and back safely. Anna doesn't need me after that, but I must help her get her memories back. I don't understand why she wants them, but she has a right to have them. She can't go alone; it's not safe._

_And she needs _you _because it's your fault her memories were altered in the first place, _the nasty inner voice told her. Elsa's gaze snapped to Anna when Anna patted her shoulder. _What?_

"Come back, okay? We don't _have _to go fix my memories right now. The more I think about it, the more I'm concerned it's gonna hurt you somehow. Going there when we were little after the accident hurt you, didn't it." It wasn't even a question. Anna was _sure _of it. _Little eight-year-old Elsa must have been terrified, and then she got home and everything changed. It made little me mad, but little Elsa knew what really happened and thought it was all her fault._

"I have to _fix_ it. Altering your memories was not fair to you." Elsa hesitated and turned away, her shoulders tense. _How do I even explain? I just want to make things right for Anna. I don't care what it might do to me. But if I tell Anna that, she'll be upset._

Anna frowned. "That's true, but it's not YOUR fault! It's not something you're responsible for fixing, Elsa. As much as I want my memories un-muddled, I don't want you to get hurt, either. What if your memories get messed up somehow?"

Elsa shook her head. "That might not be so bad," she deadpanned.

"It also might make it _worse_! The trolls literally erased all my memories of your magic to heal me. Whatever they intend to do to fix it must have some kind of cost, and I don't want you being the one to pay for it," Anna said firmly. "Look, right now I feel like I can remember vague things of us playing with your magic together when we were little. The more time I spend around you and try to...think about those dreamy things I know now are real, the clearer they feel. It's like they're in a great big fog. It's not hurting me in any way." _Well...mostly. I seem to get headaches if I try concentrating too hard on pulling the memories free. I really, really want them fixed, but it's not worth risking hurting Elsa somehow. She's got enough emotional issues to deal with already._

Elsa turned back around just in time to see Anna rubbing her forehead. "No? Then why are you rubbing your forehead like you have a headache, Anna?" she asked, giving the younger girl a rueful smile. _That just confirms it for me. I have to help Anna get her memories back. It's literally hurting her._

_"..._Um. It itched?" Anna jumped and began gesturing wildly. "I'm okay! Really! I don't feel yucky. Honest. There's nothing wrong!"

"That is not very convincing." _At all. _Elsa lifted her hand and then dropped it to her side again. _I don't trust myself to give Anna something cool to put on her head and help her feel better. I'd probably just hurt her more._

_"_Don't you dare start blaming yourself again. I'm not risking you getting hurt more somehow because you think you have to pay whatever the magic cost is. You've done that way way _way _too much already!" Anna was clearly frustrated now. "Look, I've not gotten to have you back that long yet but I know you automatically blame yourself for _everything. _I hate that. And saying you'll use your magic to protect me, yet just _standing _there when someone pulled a sword on you, makes me mad. I can protect myself. Gimme another fireplace poker or something. You can too-better than I ever could!-but you _don't._" She frowned as something else popped into her head. _What if Elsa does that because she still feels horrible and doesn't want to be here but she knows she promised... _"Elsa, are you doing stuff like this because you promised me you wouldn't attempt...that again?"

Elsa blinked in surprise. _I don't even know that myself. I just don't know. _"I don't feel like I have a right to risk hurting someone to protect something like me. You are different. You I would kill to protect. I'd feel horrible about it, but I would if I really had to," she answered flatly.

"What the heck, Elsa?! I'm not _surprised _to hear you say that, but that's not right! You aren't just a thing, and ummmm...most people would say your life is worth _more _than other people's because of your position. You're telling me if Pieter had pulled his sword on me instead of you, you'd have defended me instead of just standing there like you did?" Anna crossed her arms and glared at Elsa.

"Yes, but he would not have done that to you, and you know it." Elsa flinched under Anna's sharp gaze. _I don't want to make Anna angry with me again. _"I'm sorry that was not what you wanted to hear. I...I am trying to be honest," she tried to explain. "Please...please don't hate me."

"Elsa!" Anna ran over to Elsa and just gave her a tight hug. Elsa made a quiet pained noise but didn't try to pull away. "Oh! I'm so sorry, Elsa, did I squish your arm? I didn't mean to, and-"

_"_It's fine. I...I'd rather you be squishing my arm than not have an Anna hug," Elsa said quickly. "It...makes me _feel. _Like...like I have...value." _That sounds ridiculous. What does that even mean?_

Anna hugged her again, this time making sure not to be hurting her arm. _How can I make her see that she's worth so much more than she thinks? _"Then I'll keep giving you lots of hugs. I could never hate you. And don't...don't you EVER apologize to me for being honest. Never. I'm just mad because you're acting like you aren't worth anything again. Obviously you feel lots better than...you know, before I found you. You talk more, at least to me, and you actually smile and laugh and can get angry. But you think everything good that's happened since then is going to disappear and you don't deserve it. Those things are _not _true, as I've said loads of times."

_I hurt you. I keep messing up even though I'm trying my best. _Elsa didn't answer this time; Anna was right. She did still think those things. _Anna shouldn't be hugging me. I shouldn't let her. I can't give that little girl Daisy that has been kind to me a hug, either. _Two more short chocolate shop outings and Elsa was still touched that Daisy seemed to enjoy talking to her very much, even though Elsa didn't say much. Now, Elsa tried to pull away, but Anna held on and refused to let go.

"Not letting you go unless you feel like you're about to explode again, and I know you aren't because you're just chilly to hold right now, not freezing cold," Anna informed her. "And I'm saying _again _hugs aren't something you've got to earn. I love you just the way you are, Elsa. I'll love you enough for both of us 'til you can love yourself."

Elsa stood very still and just hid her face in Anna's shoulder. _Anna is so warm. I don't understand. I don't understand why she cares at all. And... _"Wouldn't...wouldn't you like me better if I wasn't...broken?" _If I was normal. If I didn't hurt inside so much. If I could just...fix me. And I can never do that. I know that._

Anna held her sister tighter. _Elsa doesn't just mean her magic right now. I know that. She means all the pain and fear inside her. _"No," she said firmly. "No, I wouldn't. I don't want you to be hurting so much, but that just makes me sad. You're still just plain Elsa to me, no matter what's so-called 'wrong' with you. I don't _care. _Well I mean I care that you feel like this, but just because I want you to be happy and not constantly treat yourself like dirt. That's all." Anna felt a few snowflakes falling on both of them, but she didn't say anything about it. Snowflakes were harmless, and Elsa herself was not too cold to touch. She was still just chilly. "And as for my memories, I think I do wanna try-it'd be closure for both of us-but I want to ask a bunch of questions first. I'm _not _risking your safety for it, nope nope nope."

"...That sounds fair." Elsa wanted to ask questions too, but for the opposite reason Anna did; she wanted to make sure it was safe for _Anna. "_Maybe...maybe Kai or Erik could teach you how to shoot or something?" she suggested hesitantly. _I do know Anna can defend herself, I just...don't want her to have to. But if I did something with my magic to defend her, then I wouldn't be able to go to the troll valley with her, considering I'd need to make it look like she doesn't know me. And we need me to fix the memories, so I _have _to go. So that much is out of the question._

_"_That, is a terrific idea, Elsa!" Anna exclaimed. "Sounds fun, actually. Much, _much _better than you using your magic and sacrificing yourself because of it or whatever you were thinking!"

Elsa pulled away and looked her little sister right in the face. "There is _one _caveat. I don't want you learning how and then you want to use it on, say, Pieter. I know you, Anna. You are impulsive and I won't risk you doing something you'll later regret."

Anna fidgeted. "Well, Dad would execute that man for what he did, and you know it," she muttered. _I don't think Elsa knows he's in the dungeon yet. I shan't tell her unless she asks. _"Do you even realize he continued what he was doing _after _you told him you weren't going to defend yourself? I think he's just using defending me as an excuse for trying to murder you because you're different. It's _ridiculous!"_

"I know that. His _intentions _lay with protecting you, but part of him just wanted the potential threat gone entirely. Is that so surprising?" Elsa's voice was soft, her blue eyes bright with unshed tears.

"Noooo, but it's just awful! Elsa, think about it. What if it wasn't you and he attacked some other eighteen-year-old girl that had magic like you do? And what did you think I was supposed to do? Stand there and watch him kill you?!" Anna didn't even pause between questions. "What if there are more idiots that think like him? I'm scared you'll get hurt and not do anything to stop it!"

Elsa answered immediately. "And that is why I am scared of people finding out about what's wrong with me." _I'm ruining Anna's innocence just by existing. I don't know how to protect her from that. Am I even supposed to? She's only three years younger than I am..._

Anna bit her lip. _I wish I hadn't asked her that. Of course Elsa's scared of that, she has said or implied it many times! Now I've made it worse since I know she trusts me. If Elsa thinks I'm worried about something she's already worried about, she's just going to get all the more upset. _"But, you have the authority and power to defend yourself from people like that. You just need to be willing to use it," Anna said finally. "Part of me wishes you'd...get rid of Pieter. I don't feel like you'll be safe in your own home with him around. Even though I threatened him and I don't think he'll do anything else."

"I do not want the burden of someone's death on your shoulders, Anna, and I'm not purposely killing someone. It's...not a nice feeling." _I'm going to talk to Kai about this. I don't know if I can trust Anna with a deadly weapon. She'd probably use it on whoever she decides hurts me and then feel really terrible about it..._

"You haven't killed anyone!"

"Not a human. I certainly thought I did after the accident when we were small, though. And...and do you remember the little baby bunny you put outside my room?" Now Elsa really was crying, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks. _Back away from Anna, Elsa. Don't hurt her again, too. _Frost crackled under her feet and she felt ice begging to be released. She balled her hand into a fist and refused to let it out.

"Elsa, let the upset ice out," Anna said gently but firmly. "Tell me whatever you want to say after. Look, I'll even wait over there," she added, pointing to the far side of the big ballroom. _I can only guess what happened to that bunny. Little ten or eleven year old Elsa probably accidentally froze it or something... _"If you'll let me, I'll stay close, but I won't do it if you don't want me to. I'm not gonna scare you again."

"Will...will you wait in the hall? Please?"

"No, but I will wait over here," Anna said, quickly walking over to the far side of the ballroom. "This is far enough, Elsa. I'm not risking leaving you completely alone while you're upset, I'm sorry. I trust you for most things, but I don't completely trust you not to hurt yourself again. Not yet."

"I don't...don't w-want to hurt y-you again!" Elsa's voice was desperate. She wanted Anna out. Now. _I can't let it out with her in here! I can't! What if it explodes again?!_

Anna hopped from one foot to the other and rubbed her arms against the dropping temperature, resisting the urge to just run over and give Elsa another hug. _I can't do that. I'll just scare her more and like...um, I would prefer to _not _freeze again, even though I trust Elsa to fix it if she did. _"I know you don't, and you won't. Can you maybe channel the magic toward the ceiling instead of, like, out sideways? I _know _you can do it, Elsa. I know you can!"

_I don't know how! Wait...yes I do. _Elsa looked down at her good hand and slowly unclenched her fist. _I have to picture what I want. Do something non-violent to let it out. No holes in the ceiling, Elsa. Picture what you want. Snow. Not ice. No ice. _Elsa bit her lip and gazed across the ballroom at Anna as she held her shaky hand over her head. _I am going to do what I did when we were little. Make it snow, Elsa._

_Do the magic, Elsa! _Elsa closed her eyes again, remembering only too well little Anna's unending excitement whenever they played in the ballroom together...before everything went wrong.

Sparks of pure magic burst from Elsa's hand and exploded into seemingly millions of tiny snowflakes, flooding the entire ballroom floor and half-burying both Anna and Elsa in it. Elsa hesitantly opened one eye, then the other. _Oh no. _"Anna! Anna, I'm sorry, I-"

But Anna was smiling, not hurt at all. "That was great, Elsa!" she interrupted. "It was really pretty, and a bunch of snow isn't going to hurt either of us. Don't you feel better now, letting that much out? 'Cause this is lots!" Anna began digging herself free, still smiling. _I know doing this didn't help Elsa as much as letting all that ice out would, but there's so much it had to have helped her some._

"Well...yes..." Elsa felt embarrassed seeing just _how much _of a snowy mess she had made, but at least she hadn't hurt Anna. And she did feel better...not wonderful, but better.

"Now dissolve this and do it again if it'll help," Anna told her. She finally scrambled out of the snow and on top of it instead...and promptly sank deep into the soft powder instead. _Well then. Elsa really did make the most harmless mess possible. You could dive into this and be fine. It's like a big chilly pillow!_

_I'm trying to. _Elsa closed her eyes, and the snow all over the room slowly began disappearing and returning to its creator's hand into a huge icy snowflake floating over Elsa's head, slowly spinning over her palm.

"So _pretty_," Anna breathed, trying not to be too loud so she wouldn't break Elsa's concentration.

The snowflake shrunk and vanished, and Elsa smiled a little. _That was satisfying. I actually let out a lot and dissolved it, and it did not hurt Anna. _"Thank you for not insisting on trying to touch me when I started feeling like I might mess up, and for...not leaving..." _That makes no sense, Elsa; you told her to leave before..._

Anna ran over the second the snow was all gone, and she reached for Elsa's hand. Elsa pulled her hand away but didn't back up. Anna decided not to press it. At least Elsa seemed happier and more relaxed now. "You're _very _welcome, Elsa. I know now you genuinely can't have me holding you when your magic feels like that, but I also know you don't wanna be alone, either. Even if you say otherwise. Also, you were really upset just now, but you didn't completely freak out. That's good. Really good. Can...May I give you a hug now?"

Elsa hesitated but then nodded. Instantly she felt warm arms wrapped around her, chasing away whatever bits of cold remained. "The little bunny froze," she whispered suddenly. "I...I remember waking up a-and she was all cold and dead." _I killed the pet Anna gave me. I hurt it, and I didn't know how._

Anna sat down on the floor with Elsa near one of the columns in the ballroom. _That sounds horrible. Poor Elsa. No wonder she started crying. She was little and the pet I gave her died, and knowing Elsa, she probably thinks hurting the bunny hurt me too. _"Elsa, how do you know the bunny wasn't just sick? I mean, I wouldn't have known since I was pretty little. I just wanted to give you a cute present. And a friend. You said you woke and found-"

"No. The bunny _froze_, Anna. She...there was ice on the floor. In the basket with the bunny. I had a nightmare a-and the magic flared and killed her. I _know _that's what happened." _A friend. I killed the friend Anna gave me. _Elsa wouldn't look at Anna now, but she didn't pull away, either. _The magic is not going to hurt Anna right now. It's fine. Calm down. You can't bring the bunny back, Elsa. That was years ago._

Anna felt her own eyes filling with tears, but unlike Elsa, she didn't even try to hold them back. She just closed her eyes and held Elsa close, ignoring the cold emanating from her. "That's really terrible, I'd be very upset too. But it's _not _your fault. You can't help having a nightmare. You were just a little girl, Elsa. If anything, it doesn't sound like the bunny suffered though, right? She just died in her sleep. You didn't cause her any pain."

Elsa didn't say anything, but she slowly nodded. _I know Anna is right, but...that bunny reminded me of Anna and then I lost her. I still killed the bunny, even if it wasn't on purpose. I had Anna's pet less than twenty-four hours before I made her die._

_I can remember thinking if I did something horrible like that, I would _never _get to see Anna again because I didn't deserve to. Never ever._

"It's okay to cry about it, you know. It's okay." _I don't understand why she's trying to force herself not to cry. A pet dying is a very normal thing to cry about! _Anna stroked Elsa's hair until she seemed completely calm again and her body temperature returned to normal. "A complete accident like what you just told me is not the same as killing some creep at all, but I understand why you said you didn't want me killing someone and then feeling guilty about it. Well I guess I can't _completely _understand, but I understand enough to know why you said it."

_This is where we were right after the accident. I was holding Anna and called for help, and now Anna is holding me instead. I messed up again, but it was all right this time. _Elsa realized Anna's comments to come into the ballroom to make new, good memories really did help. She was sure she would probably cry again thinking about what had happened in the past here, but not right now. Even Elsa's magic felt mostly okay at the moment. _I still need to let the rest of the backlog out, but I feel _much _better._

"Elsa, are your powers feeling better now, yes?" Anna asked hopefully. _Please say yes, Elsa._

Elsa nodded, her head still resting on Anna's shoulder. _It really does. _"My arm hurts more than the magic does now, and that doesn't hurt all that much itself. For me, that's good," she said honestly. "Very."

Anna did not like that reply, but the older girl seemed so relaxed now that she couldn't worry _too _much. _At least Elsa's arm hurting her isn't scary to her or making her worried she'll make a magic mistake. And it should feel better soon for her anyway, even if it'll be weeks before she's completely healed. "_Maybe you should take some pain medicine and have some chamomile tea or something. I don't want your arm to be hurting you, either."

"I'll take the tea, but I don't need anything else. Anna, I'm _fine. _I meant what I said as a good thing. Also, I don't need to worry about magic mistakes...releasing that way until it heals, either. I wish I could write properly again, but other than that, I do not care. So please, don't worry about it," Elsa stated, her voice calm and happy now.

Anna made a face. Elsa's magic not working properly through her injured arm made sense in a way, but it still concerned Anna. _What if that means Elsa's blood isn't flowing through her right? Elsa's magic literally is in her blood. Shouldn't it work for her then, whether she has a broken bone or not? I don't even know. _Anna did not know enough about human anatomy-or Elsa's magic itself-to know whether or not they should be concerned. Maybe it was more that Elsa's magic thought it would harm her further to use it before she healed rather than that something was actually wrong. "_Can _you use your magic with that hand if you consciously chose to?" Anna asked hesitantly.

Elsa was silent for a moment as she mulled it over before replying. "I'd have to...force it. When I tried before, it felt as if the magic were saying _no, don't try that, you will hurt yourself _before I just ignored that and tried anyway. I can feel it in my fingers like I would normally, but it doesn't want to release, because it really hurts my arm. I'm not holding it in like I always do either, though." She paused and smiled a bit, staying happily safe in Anna's arms. "So, that part of me can relax completely for once." _That part feels so nice._

Anna thought this made sense. _Sounds like she's gonna be fine. Good. _"We need to make it so all of you can relax, but I'm glad _something _good came from you getting hurt. Why don't we go pet the horses? I know they're a lot...sturdier than a baby bunny, but they're still animals. Maybe it would help?" Anna ventured, still holding Elsa protectively close. Elsa seemed so peaceful at the moment and Anna didn't want to mess that up for her.

"They will probably all hate me or be scared of me."

"Well, the skittish ones might be scared of you, not because of your magic, just because they don't know you. We'll just pet the calmer ones. Why on earth would a horse hate you, Elsa? It's a horse, not a prejudiced bigoted human," Anna pointed out. "We can ride around the courtyard."

Elsa thought being near a horse and _maybe _petting one was quite enough, thank you. She did not want to make a fool of herself not having ridden a horse since she was eight, and then only the old, fat, very calm pony she and Anna had named Mr. Waffles. "I'll watch while you ride," she said finally. "Besides, not only would I not know what I am doing anyway, I _highly _doubt I should try with my arm like this. You are all fussy about it and now you want me to attempt riding a horse, which somehow sounds safer to you than me attempting to write." Elsa sounded highly amused.

"Okay, fair enough." Anna did not want to risk Elsa injuring her arm further. She did not tell Elsa she had ridden her horse a bunch of times after she'd broken _her _arm once it stopped hurting. "What do you want to do the rest of the day?"

"I need to go study those old ledgers more. There _must _be something we have missed. There has to be. I know I can't go visit Weselton now, even if I did have proof he stole money or goods, or if he sabotaged the _Venskabet. _But I need to have proof if I ever want to right this." Elsa stood up and sighed deeply. _I don't know what else I can do right now. I have no proof-yet-and even if I did, I know I wouldn't be able to confront him. _She felt keenly aware that she couldn't talk to strangers easily and that she would be risking everything should she reveal herself to her public. _One magic mistake and I'll have ruined everything._

"But Elsa, you've spent hours and hours doing that. You stayed up so late last night and the night before with Kai, going through the ledgers. You guys didn't find _anything. _Do you really think you're going to find anything at all?" Anna asked, frowning.

"I feel like it's my duty to check _all _of them. I need to know for sure. You don't have to help go through them," Elsa assured her.

"I know, but you're getting dark circles! They were going away!" Anna was scowling now as she pulled Elsa out of the ballroom and back upstairs. Elsa didn't resist this time, much to Anna's relief. "Please at least take a nice long nap before you start working again. Please. You worry me so much."

"All right. If it will make you feel better," Elsa agreed after a moment. _A nap won't hurt. I do admit that. I'm always tired, but I used to not like going to sleep because of nightmares. Now that Anna is with me, they...don't happen as often, and when they do, she helps me. "_Will... will you stay?" she asked hesitantly.

Anna nodded vigorously. "Of course. You know that! I'm really glad you asked, though. That makes me happy," she informed Elsa. _Elsa _asked _me to stay! Yay. She hardly ever asks me for anything. _"Want me to answer some mail for you while you nap? Just show me what needs to be done and I'll bring it in here to my room."

"You don't have to do that..." Elsa curled up in her comfy chair they had moved to Anna's room. Anna handed her a pillow and then draped a light blanket over her, and Elsa sighed contentedly. _I feel so warm and just...loved. Anna makes me feel like maybe I have a place, maybe I have a right to...exist? My magic feels so much better, too. It still hurts some, but not nearly as much._

"I know, but you can't write right now anyway, so I'll end up helping you answer the mail anyway. Might as well do it while you nap," Anna pointed out. "You read really fast, so you can nap as long as you want and read through whatever stuff I finish for you when you get up. May I sign your name?"

"Forge my signature, you mean," Elsa pointed out, but she seemed more amused than annoyed. "Yes, you may sign my name, as long as I see everything before it's mailed out. And you may not do it anymore after my arm is better." _That's fair, I think._

"I'm weirdly pleased that you're telling me what to do," Anna teased, smiling. _Means she's feeling better._

"Don't get too accustomed to it. I don't want to make you angry with me." Elsa didn't think Anna would leave her all alone again even if she _was _angry with her, but she still didn't want to risk it.

Anna scowled. "The only thing you do that really makes me angry is treating yourself like garbage. I hate that. I know it's not your fault but it makes me so mad," she muttered. "Okay. Positive note now. I'm going to do some mail for you and you're going to nap."

"...Okay."

* * *

"Finally!" Elsa exclaimed tiredly several nights later. After seemingly endless hours of searching the old ledgers, she and Kai had decided to skip back farther to before Elsa's father had become king himself. _Goods exported to Weselton and then "accidents" happening multiple times that some of the goods were lost and thus Arendelle receiving less money for them, but our ships' crews reporting differently, that the goods arrived safely. Then it gets sloppier, that duke literally just stealing tax money from both us and his own people._

Anna was asleep leaning on Elsa's shoulder; now she jerked awake at Elsa's exclamation. "You found something, Elsa?"

"Yes. This is from _so long _ago now, though. I am sure there is more, but I know this is what our father found because-look! He clipped a note to the page. I recognize this handwriting. Wait..." Elsa bit her lip when she read _just what _their father had written there. _'Elsa~ I trust you shall find this in short order should your mother and I fail to return. Do not let the duke know you know this unless you have prepared Arendelle in case of invasion.'_

Anna read over Elsa's shoulder. "Why would Dad go there if he thought it was dangerous? I don't get it! He must've thought something bad would happen since he bothered leaving you a note, Elsa."

Elsa read the rest aloud. " '_Keep Anna safe as you have been. You've been a good girl.'..._Anna? I...I'm not supposed to have found this with y-you, am I?" _Elsa, you _know _you're not. Why ask? Because you know Anna will tell you to stay? _Elsa pushed the ledger book aside abruptly as if it had burned her fingers and looked down at her hand. She could see her pale skin through the delicate lace of the glove she was wearing, the ones Anna had given her. _What am I doing? Papa, why? Would you be angry if you saw me now?_

_"_But Elsa, these old ledgers weren't in your room. They were behind glass and locked in cabinets in the library. Dad must have expected you to leave your room to even _find _this," Anna pointed out quickly. "You can't rule Arendelle trapped in your room, Elsa. You just can't."

Elsa continued sitting stiffly in her chair, her big blue eyes bright with tears. _But...Anna. What about Anna? What if I was supposed to find this so I would go back in that room alone? I'm supposed to keep her safe._

"Miss Anna is correct, _Queen _Elsa," Kai said firmly, purposely stressing the title. "Your father did not deem it necessary to share this information with me, or I would have just shown it to you immediately. It was meant for you to find, just in case."

Elsa was torn; she very much wanted to believe what Kai and Anna were telling her, but the _as you have been _phrase made her believe without a doubt that Agdar meant for her to go back in her room as much as possible after she had found his message, in order to protect her little sister. Despite that, she couldn't tear herself away, either. _I don't want to be lonely like that again, Papa! _the frightened little girl part of her internally wailed. _I'm trying so hard, but I can't live like that. I can't. _Anna very gently touched Elsa's splinted arm resting awkwardly in her lap, and Elsa flinched before trying to hold Anna's hand herself, which she couldn't do very well. _I can't even use my magic with that hand right now. Touching Anna is safe, _she reminded herself.

"See, Elsa, I'm touching your bare fingers and it's fine," Anna said quietly. Elsa's weak grasp worried her, but she didn't say anything about it. It _had _only been a couple of weeks, after all.

"That is because I literally cannot use my magic with that hand right now," said Elsa, her voice flat. "You know as well as I do what _as you have been _must mean. I'm supposed to fix this and then disappear again."

"So you're saying if Dad's alive and we rescue him and Mom, you're just going to vanish behind that stupid door again?!" Anna demanded. "Just because he says so?"

Elsa pushed her chair back from the table, slowly, deliberately. She stood up, her shoulders perfectly straight, expression carefully neutral. One glance directly at Anna and the neutral aura was gone, replaced by tears Elsa was struggling and failing to hold back. Tiny snowflakes floated around her, and she finally just looked down the floor. _I'd have to. I know that. _"What else could I do? I would not even have the authority to refuse whether I wanted to or not, and you know it," she whispered. Elsa immediately turned and fled without saying more.

"Elsa!" Anna jumped up to run after her, but Kai caught her arm. "Let me go! I'm not letting her go like that! She's really upset! I don't want Elsa to have to be alone!"

Kai gave the princess a sad smile. "Give her a few minutes. Maybe let her work it out by herself before offering help. I haven't heard a door close, have you?"

"No but she's hurting and I need to make her feel better!" Anna balled her hands into fists. "And I don't want her purposely hurting herself, either!"

Kai nodded; that last bit he thought Anna had a point about, even if he also thought the princess fussed over her older sister a little too much. He sighed as he watched Anna run off. _What can I do better for them?_

* * *

Anna followed Elsa's frosty footprints right to her own room. Elsa had indeed left the door open, much to Anna's surprise, but she was huddled in a corner, hugging one of Anna's pillows to her chest, her eyes screwed shut as she touched the beads on her bracelet with her bad hand. Snowflakes floated slowly around her, but Elsa didn't seem to be aware of that.

Anna thought the room was freezing, so she quietly tiptoed in and put a heavy cloak and a hat on herself before approaching Elsa with a soft blanket. "Hey," she started gently, "you haven't got to say anything, and I'll be quiet. I just didn't want to startle you, or leave you alone, either."

Elsa didn't appear to react, but then jerked her head up when she felt something warm around her instead of the sad, depressed cold enveloping her and pressing in on all sides. _Anna. What is Anna doing? Why is she here?_

_You ran to Anna's room, Elsa. Of course she followed you here. _Elsa tried to concentrate on the warmth, on her little sister's arms wrapped around her, but the tears wouldn't stop. _I can't do this. I know I can't. I wish I'd never been born. Anna couldn't miss me if I had never existed in the first place. I don't want to lose her again. It...hurts. That idea hurts. Not the magic, the...other part of me. _Elsa thought she would just break into pieces inside if she couldn't have Anna near anymore. "I'm s-sorry, Anna. I'm sorry. I'm s-so scared. I...I'm trying to stop, I d-don't know why I'm-"

"It's all right, Elsa," Anna interrupted. _I think it's still safe to hold her since she's not so cold you can't touch her. Even if it's not, I won't leave her alone. Not now. "_Let the magic out like you did in the ballroom the other day. Don't worry about my stuff in here, all right?" Anna didn't get a verbal reply, but she did feel soft powdery snow pouring in a flood around them. She clutched Elsa tightly, not particularly caring that most likely Elsa wasn't exactly consciously controlling the magic outburst. Snow was harmless. _Maybe Elsa's magic 'knows' now that that's how she would prefer to relieve the pressure inside her if absolutely necessary? I don't know._

Anna realized holding Elsa wasn't just comfort for Elsa; it made Anna herself feel better too, because Elsa was _right there _and not locked behind that horrid door anymore. _And that's why Elsa ran from the library. She's right, if we somehow find Dad alive and rescue him, she won't have any real authority to stop us from being separated. _Anna also knew Elsa had enough literal power to stop such a thing from happening, but that there was no way she would ever consider using her magic to do so.

Elsa couldn't survive like that anymore; she would probably die, Anna was sure of it. Ripping the newfound care and freedom she had now away from her again would be worse than if she had never had it at all. Whatever bits of Elsa's sensitive soul that had healed inside would be torn to pieces...again. _What could we even do? I'm not at all concerned about Mom, Elsa outranks her anyway and even if she didn't, I _know _she would come around easily with a bit of convincing. We'd just have to talk to her a little. Dad I just don't know about. _Anna could feel Elsa's shaky breathing starting to even out again, and she sighed in relief.

The snow pouring around them eased, leaving the entire room covered in about two feet of snow. Elsa suddenly grew aware of the mess she had made and tried to pull away from Anna, who just continued holding her. "It's snow, like last time, Elsa. Harmless and I'm wearing a heavy cloak this time, so I'm not cold at all, either."

Elsa stopped pulling away and let Anna hug her, unable to bring herself to struggle further. _Why am I even trying to right this? Obviously the missing money and goods hasn't affected Arendelle much, if at all. The economy is fine. It's wrong to do that, I can't. I have to fix it. It's my job. _

_...I'm terrified of everything getting ruined again. I'm not even supposed to be in this room. _Elsa clutched Anna's pillow tighter. "I can't live like that again," she whispered after a few minutes. "I _know _it's selfish, but I...I just can't. I know it."

"I know. That's not selfish. It's absolutely disgusting that you think not wanting to be isolated away again means there's something wrong with you. It never should've happened before."

"I don't know what to do, Anna. You _know _if Papa comes back, he will separate us, I'll end up freaking out, and then the power mistakes I make will just confirm to him that he is doing the right thing." Elsa was a hundred percent sure she was right. They would never have a chance to prove that Anna was exactly what helped control the magic, and even if they _did, _Elsa wasn't certain she would be allowed out. _Calm down, Elsa. There is no one here to take Anna away right now, at least. "_And I feel like I'm directly defying him just by letting myself be around you after reading that note. Those were evidently his last words to me, and I'm...not honoring them. It feels all wrong."

"Do you _really _believe feeling happier is wrong? You can't possibly think you're doing anything inherently wrong," Anna said, keeping a tight hold on Elsa, who seemed to slowly be becoming warmer again back to her normal cool temperature.

"No, but..." Elsa stopped talking, struggling to figure out how to express herself. "I said it _felt _wrong, not that it _is _wrong. I know what happened was not fair, but part of me-most of me, really-still feels like I don't deserve you or any of the other good things you have done for me. Does...does that make sense at all?" _I don't even know. It's like the logical, factual part of me sees that it wasn't right, but the hurt, broken Elsa-emotions take over and chew everything up._

But Anna immediately nodded. "Actually, yeah it does. Your head knows what happened to you isn't fair, but your heart isn't ready to accept it yet, because it's easier for you to believe you're bad than that Dad made bad decisions and abused you," she said quickly. Anna was unendingly gentle as she brushed her sister's frozen tears away._ I don't want to accept that either, but I know darn well what happened to Elsa wasn't fair to her. She was innocent. And he and Mom shouldn't have lied to me. Those are facts. _"I still believe Dad loved you too, but it doesn't make his bad actions go away or be okay. The part of that note to pay attention to is the portions about Arendelle itself. And that you were a good girl, too! You're not dishonoring him by letting yourself be happy. Maybe you just need some more time to accept it, that's all. It will be all right, Elsa. You're not going to lose me again, even if I get mad at you or you push me away. That I can promise."

"I don't think he would think I'm being a good girl now..." The snow covering the floor was slowly thawing at Elsa's command. "You cannot promise that. You won't have the authority to keep us from being separated either," she muttered. _That's not now, though. Right now I have Anna._

"No, but I can always get to you through the secret passages if you show me how to get to your room from mine, even if you _were _shut in that room again. I don't give two craps whether he wants me to or not, so there!" Anna stood up with Elsa, keeping one arm around her shoulders. "And really, Elsa, you could do the same if you wanted. You also quite literally have the power to prevent it if you chose."

_I wouldn't ever be able to do that. _Elsa shook her head.

"Well, then I'll do whatever it takes to help you. I'll be Princess Elsa's knight in shining armor. And 'sides, people like me. They'll listen if I talk," Anna said ominously, not sounding one bit sorry. "Look, I love our parents very much and I do want them back, but if you're going to be hurt, I _will _defend you. I swear it. You're also forgetting Kai told us they're probably _not _alive. Please don't scare yourself with possibilities that probably won't happen." _Elsa comes first for me. I'm going to write to Uncle Thomas and Aunt Primrose myself, with _my _name, just a personal letter. They'd help protect Elsa. I know it._

Elsa nodded slightly. "Let...let's go to sleep. I just need to apologize to Kai for running out on him, and put everything away in the library."

"I'll do it. Stay here. I know you must feel better in this room since you ran straight here. I'll tell him you wanted to apologize too, don't worry." Anna was glad Elsa didn't protest. _She must be absolutely exhausted going through those stupid ledgers night after night._

Anna was _not _happy when Elsa just collapsed right where she was and curled into a ball, still clutching the pillow. Anna sighed, picked Elsa up a bit awkwardly, and deposited her on the bed. "You stay put. No sleeping on the floor," she ordered.

"Okay," Elsa said amiably, and closed her eyes. "But, I don't mind the floor."

* * *

Anna was surprised to find Erik and the other guard she knew he worked with constantly in the library with Kai. "Hey, um...what's going on? Is something wrong? What are you all looking concerned about?"

"Would you mind getting your sister to come in here, princess?" Erik asked quietly.

"She's asleep." Anna's voice was firm and held no room for questions. "Can't it wait until morning? Elsa's been working super late a bunch of nights in a row and I know she's really tired."

"Is Princess Elsa alone?" The other guard seemed very concerned.

Anna frowned. "Well...yeah. She's sleeping in my room. Why? Is someone after her?" _What the heck is going on?_

Erik sent the other guard to stand watch outside Anna's room. He nodded and immediately left. "It can wait until morning to alert her, but remember how you fired _two _guards, princess? One was Pieter. He is still safely locked in the dungeon as per your request. The other was being watched and we were using him to clean up in the courtyard and the like. Hasn't caused any trouble. He has gone officially missing as of around dinnertime and can't be found, and hasn't been seen for sure since morning."

Kai looked straight at Anna. "Erik has heard this man say a few inflammatory things about you two. It stands reason to believe he may be up to some mischief. If he's hidden somewhere within the castle grounds, he's done a very good job of it. If he isn't, then someone most likely helped him escape. Even if he isn't planning to directly harm you or her, he needs to be found."

Anna shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "Is this my fault because I fired him?"

"No, but it probably prodded him into admitting disloyal feelings. It's just that after what happened with Pieter, I really do not wish to risk your and your sister's safety, even if this man only wanted to escape, not hurt either of you. Especially hers. At least I can trust you to attempt defending yourself. With Prin-Queen Elsa, she seems to be very much anti-violence when it comes to protecting herself." Erik spoke carefully, worried he might offend the princess. _Neither of them should ever have to do that, but if they like being on their own...they need to know how and be willing to._

"That's an understatement," Anna muttered. "Is there anything else?"

"Yes. Please make your sister see what she has is very valuable. Those strange abilities of hers are no curse. I can't help but believe it is some odd gift she's been given to do something for everyone with. But...she believes the opposite, doesn't she?"

Anna nodded. "Because she's grown up thinking it," she said softly.

Erik wished it was appropriate for him to give the princess a hug. Anna's eyes looked so sad. But he just nodded. "Well, regardless, I'm sure she will do a wonderful job with your help. She's lucky to have you back in her life."

"I'm lucky to have Elsa back." Anna still felt _incredibly _lucky to have Elsa with her again. Every day with Elsa nearby was a gift after no big sister for ten years. "I'll have Elsa meet with you tomorrow to see what to do next."

Erik nodded politely. "Just please keep someone you trust with you at all times. Don't go anywhere alone until we've straightened this out, even within the castle grounds."

"I'll protect her. I promise." Anna lifted her chin and crossed her arms. "I shan't let anything hurt Elsa."

"Miss Anna, it's not just her that's possibly in danger. It's you, too," Kai warned her.

"With all due respect, sir, I think Princess Anna is right to protect her sister. She did easily neutralize Pieter, after all. We just don't want them to have to at all."

Anna looked pleased with herself.

"That's very true." Kai looked fondly at the younger princess. "And I know that Miss Elsa will protect her, too."

**A/N: And that's a wrap for today:)**

**Next chapter coming soon!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**To my reviewers, I'll reply to you soon, but I really wanted to at least get this chapter up tonight before I go to sleep:)**

**On to the story!**

"Why didn't you wake me up last night?!" Elsa demanded the next morning after Anna had told her what had happened.

"Because you were exhausted, you stinker! You slept only like three or four hours a night the last several days! That's really bad for you! If I'd woken you up, you wouldn't have slept the rest of the night. I know you!" Anna retorted. "See, now I've told you and you've gotten all worked up already!" Anna could see frost forming on Elsa's clenched fist and she had started pacing.

Their guard tactfully left a bit down the hall the second he saw Gerda. Better Gerda heard the sisters' private conversations than him, even muffled through Anna's closed door.

Elsa's shoulders drooped at Anna's raised voice. She still did not like Anna scolding her; it made her worry Anna would leave. _She's not leaving, Elsa. She's just concerned. _"I'm sorry. I was working."

"Yeah, I know, but I don't like you not sleeping. You're important too, and-hi Gerda, thanks for bringing us breakfast!-and I certainly wasn't gonna wake you up when you were actually sleeping peacefully. So there." Anna hugged Elsa and then pounced on Gerda with a hug too.

Elsa quickly took the breakfast tray from Gerda before Anna made Gerda spill it by accident. "This looks delicious. Thank you."

"You are very welcome." Gerda hugged Anna back and gave Elsa a warm smile. "Is there something wrong?"

"Anna has just told me the other guard she fired is now missing and cannot be found," Elsa explained. "Speaking of...where is Pieter now? Is he missing also?"

Anna shifted her weight from one foot to the other nervously, not particularly wanting to tell Elsa where he was. "Noooo..."

"Where is he then?" Elsa sounded a little suspicious now. _What did Anna do to him? I know she's still really angry with him._

"Well...he's just in the dungeon," Anna admitted. Elsa would find out sooner or later anyway; Anna wasn't going to lie about it and risk losing Elsa's trust. "I just promised not to hurt him, and I didn't. But I told the guards to put him down there. Where he belongs."

Elsa frowned. "Why? Anna, he is hurt. How is he going to rest and heal down there?" _You shouldn't let him out though, _a little voice told her. _At least not yet. _Letting him out after Anna had chosen to send him there would probably make her look far too forgiving, more than she did already. The man already knew she would do nothing if someone tried to hurt her. Yet she hated the idea of leaving someone injured locked down in one of those cold, dark cells. _My father would execute him. I know that. And I will not do that, absolutely not._

_Elsa, if you aren't "listening" to him about that and you still want to do a good job like he did, why is it so bad for you to not "listen" to him about being out of your room? _The niggling thought made Elsa stop short. Anna had told her to keep the good things their daddy had written in that note for her and just dump the part implying she should return to her room. Wasn't that..._logical? _Agdar was human too, after all. Surely he had made _some _mistakes...

"Maybe he should've thought about that before pulling a sword on you," came Anna's unapologetic reply. _She better not let him out. _Ordinarily Anna knew she _would _care about leaving an injured person down in the dungeon, but this particular person had gone after Elsa. He was not getting any sympathy from her after hurting Elsa, not one bit.

Elsa touched her neck. No, she genuinely didn't want that happening again. It would make Anna upset, and she loved being with Anna, even if she still questioned herself constantly for doing so. "Does he at least have blankets and pillows and such?" she asked after a moment. "Is he being fed?"

"Don't know, don't care." Anna did not sound one bit concerned. She sat down and began stuffing her face with the breakfast. "Elsa, sit and eat. Please. You're getting all agitated and upset." _And snowing. Elsa's making snowflakes again, like she always does when she's upset._

Elsa shook her head. "No, I need to go speak with Pieter about this. He might be connected with the missing man or know something. Then, I need to figure out what to do next..." Elsa fiddled with her braid nervously. _I don't want to talk to Pieter again. I barely held it together last time. But he's the only potential lead I can think of... _She bit her lip and took a deep breath. If she could just take Anna with her... _"_Anna?"

"Mmff...yeah?" Anna swallowed the bite of breakfast and gave Elsa a reassuring smile. That particular hesitant questioning voice meant Elsa wanted to ask her something and was worried she would get a No.

"I don't want you fussing at him, but...would you come with me?" Elsa asked. _"_Please?"_ I think I could talk better with you there._

Anna instantly nodded. "Of course. Let's eat first, though. I'm hungry and you need to eat too." She gave Elsa's shoulder a gentle squeeze and went back to eating. _I won't fuss at Pieter as long as he doesn't say anything obnoxious to Elsa._

Elsa did sit and start picking at her breakfast, but she just didn't feel hungry; her mind was stuck on fixing this problem before it spread. If this other man escaped the castle grounds and then spread rumors all over wherever he went, then what? "I'm sorry, Gerda, I just can't eat right now. You made delicious food as always, and it smells very good. It's not you." She pushed the plate aside and began pacing again.

Gerda frowned. "Miss Elsa, would you like something else to eat instead? You know I don't like you skipping meals. You're small enough as it is."

Elsa stopped pacing and shrugged. Anna stuffed her last few bites in and hopped up. "Gerda's right, Elsa. You fit in all my clothes and they're a bit looser on you _and _you're taller. And three years older. I like sharing my stuff with you, I don't mind that at all, but like...I think maybe you don't eat enough," she told Elsa. _Maybe that's why she's easy to pick up. _Anna hadn't really thought about it much, but Elsa was not difficult for her to pick up at all, and Anna wasn't very big herself. Now as she looked closer at her sister, Elsa seemed smaller than she usually did, especially without one of her little matching jackets over her outfit since they didn't fit over the splint on her arm.

Elsa felt a bit defensive all of a sudden. "I just don't like eating frozen food," she said quietly. "But right now, I'm not hungry because I need to go take care of this first." _Am I really too small? I don't even know. It takes me a long time to actually feel hungry, and I just...didn't really care about eating since it was lonely and I couldn't feel any temperatures of anything anyway..._

Anna decided not to press it further and just make sure Elsa ate more later. Trying to stuff food into her when she didn't want it at all wasn't going to help and might make her sick. _Elsa's comment means she's skipped loads of meals before. I don't know if Elsa's magic makes her able to survive longer without food or something, but she still needs to eat! _"Well, let's go talk to Pieter then and get that over with so you can come back and eat breakfast," she said finally.

Elsa nodded. "Okay."

* * *

Elsa still dreaded going down to the dungeon cells even though she knew she didn't have to set foot in the one she had been locked in. She was grateful for Anna's warm arm linked with her own cool one. _I'm with Anna, I do not have to go in my old cell, and I can leave whenever I want. It's fine. _One peek in Pieter's cell and she turned toward Kai, who had come with them for safety reasons. "Please go get some blankets and pillows, and ask Gerda to make some soup," she requested.

The cell was entirely bare save Pieter himself on an identical stone slab to the one Elsa knew from the cell she had been in, and a bucket in a corner. Elsa noticed the shackles lying on the floor in this cell were indeed different from the ones in the other cell she'd been trapped in. These just locked around a prisoner's wrist or ankle instead of over his or her entire hand. Anna noticed just what Elsa's gaze was focused on and gave her a reassuring squeeze. _Thank you, Anna. You know I hate being down here, but you make it much easier, _Elsa thought gratefully. At least she did not feel like she was going to panic, and that dream she'd had could not frighten her as much with Anna _right there_, either.

"Miss Elsa, I don't think it's safe for you and your sister to be alone..." Kai was hesitant to leave the sisters alone, even with them together.

"I'll protect Elsa. We'll be fine," Anna said quickly. She grabbed a lit torch off the wall and gave Kai a winning smile. _I'm not going to make this difficult. I'd rather Kai stayed down here with us but it'll go faster if he does what Elsa wants._

Kai nodded politely and hurried off. The girls turned back and stepped into the cell. Pieter looked at them curiously but didn't say anything. He still wasn't sure what to make of Elsa, and he had no wish to make Anna any more angry with him than she already was. Even now Anna was glaring daggers at him, and she had carefully planted herself between Elsa and him. Elsa's neutral expression was completely unreadable to him.

Elsa took a deep breath before she spoke. "Kai is bringing you s-some...blankets and pillows. I am sorry those things were not provided. What...what I need is anything you know about the other man Princess Anna...fired." _Anna, help. I'm horrible at this, I know what I want to say, but it's not coming out right._

Anna decided maybe Elsa could use some help. After all, Elsa had just asked her not to fuss at Pieter, not stay quiet and say nothing. "He's gone missing as of yesterday, so Elsa thought maybe you'd know something about him that could help find him."

"Damian. He was down here last night," Pieter told them. "Said he was leaving. He seemed...agitated, and was angry when I wouldn't go with him."

"Why didn't you?" Elsa asked, keeping her voice carefully neutral. _I certainly wouldn't want to stay down here if I had a way out._

"The Damian I saw was not my friend Damian, Princess Elsa. I don't believe he was merely escaping. Before I'd said no, he made a comment that he was going to bring justice no matter what it cost him. I told him to give you a chance before doing anything rash like I did, that you could have had both of us executed instead, but you didn't. After I said no, he became angry and wouldn't tell me anything m-"

"Why didn't you shout for help?" Anna interrupted, her blue-green eyes sharp. "I get that you couldn't force him not to leave 'cause of your leg, but you could've yelled! Is that man after Elsa's head? You _tell me right now!_" she demanded.

Elsa nudged Anna's shoulder, trying to get her to be quiet. _Surely if he wanted to kill me, he would've done so while I slept. Right? ...Unless, unless he knew I was in Anna's room and that she would probably try to kill him if he went after sleeping me and woke her up. He wouldn't know that she sleeps like a log and wouldn't wake up most likely. I don't know. "_Did he tell you _anything _in the past that...might help now, and...does he know about my m-magic?" Elsa didn't trust Pieter at all, but she didn't think he was lying to them now, either. If anything, Anna had threatened him into behaving.

Pieter shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry. He does know. I told him before-"

"You _told _him?!" Anna pushed Elsa all the way behind her and marched over to Pieter, still holding her torch. "You PROMISED HER YOU WOULDN'T!"

"Anna, he was not finished talking," came Elsa's soft reply behind her. "Perhaps he has a reasonable explanation." She looked at Pieter expectantly. _Oh no. Oh no oh no. Now what? _Elsa's mind raced as she realized the implications that meant. Damian was long gone now and could tell anyone he pleased what was wrong with her.

"I told him before I'd made that promise," Pieter admitted. _I should have told her that... _"He doesn't know exactly what you can do, though." _I still don't know what to think of her weird magic, but she definitely doesn't mean ill. Even if she's cursed with it, that's not her fault. _Pieter was keenly aware that strange, reclusive Elsa could _still _have him executed if she wished and that her little sister was absolutely _pissed_. If anything, if something happened to Princess Elsa, Princess Anna would most certainly execute him.

Elsa forced herself not to back up or let any magic out. _Calm down, Elsa. Anna will help you figure out what to do. _"Can you remember what...he was wearing?"

Kai entered behind Elsa now. "I'm not sure I understand why you feel the need to give him these, milady, but I've brought pillows and blankets like you asked."

Anna scowled. _He's potentially made things really hard for Elsa and she's just being kind to him. Well, I guess her kindness also is exactly what made him _not _go with his friend too and actually made him tell this dumb friend of his to give her a chance, though. _"I hope you appreciate it," she muttered. "Elsa...what are you doing?" Anna sighed as she watched Elsa take the blankets and pillows from Kai and give them to Pieter, who was staring at Elsa, clearly surprised.

"Giving them to him so he does not have to get up," said Elsa. _This is the right thing to do. Not let him out right now, but let him have normal everyday items. That is fair. _Elsa still did not like the idea of leaving an injured person down here, but Pieter wasn't chained, and mundane luxuries could be provided while still punishing him. This would be fine. "We will have warm soup sent down," she said to Pieter.

"About Damian," Anna started, wanting to go back to the real issue. _I'm not going to try to make Elsa stop being nice to him, that's just...Elsa, but it makes me so mad. _She did not like watching Elsa skirt as far around the chains on the floor as she could, as if they might hurt her.

_Elsa is being nicer to Pieter than Mom and Dad were to her. _Anna thought she might cry, but she knew Elsa would _not _want her to do that here. _Don't mess it up for Elsa, me. I'm supposed to be protecting her, so there._

Elsa repeated her question about what Damian had been wearing and then asked what time it had been. Next to her Anna held her hand tightly. _Anna is upset. I don't know why, but I need to get her out of here. I can ask more questions later. _"Thank you, Pieter. You have been most helpful," she said politely, and took Anna back upstairs as fast as she could without being too obvious. To Kai she said, "Please have Damian's last-seen description given to Erik and the others and have him send out search details, but tell them to be...discreet about it. Also, I want someone down here guarding Pieter, as his friend may attempt contacting him again."

The second they were out of Pieter's sight, Anna clung to Elsa and began crying. Elsa was baffled. _I didn't panic! What did I do that made Anna upset? She hasn't been trapped down there like me. Is she scared of the dungeon too? _Elsa awkwardly put her good arm around Anna and hugged her. "Anna, I don't understand what's wrong, but I...I'm taking us back upstairs," she assured her distraught little sister. "It's all right."

"O...okay," Anna sniffled and continued holding onto Elsa tightly. _I wish I'd found Elsa sooner. I wish I'd broken into her room years ago, I wish I'd not yelled at her when we were little, I wish Mom and Dad had _helped _her. Did Elsa get locked down there more than the two times I know of? Why was I the one who ended up letting her out the one time? Would Dad have left her there for days on end? How could she sleep there? What was she eating? Nothing?_

_Do I even want to know? _Anna blinked in surprise at Elsa now. Elsa had taken Anna right back to their old room (that Elsa still insisted on calling Anna's), locked the door behind them, and pushed her into the comfy chair they had moved from Elsa's room, tucking a blanket around her. Now she was holding out the two dolls they'd had as children, a worried smile on her pale face. "Thanks, Elsa," Anna said, quickly accepting the dolls. Obviously Elsa was trying to comfort her but didn't know what to say, and so she was trying to help the ways she knew how. _I should be helping her fix the Damian problem. Don't think there's really anything else for us to do just yet but wait though._

Elsa seemed to relax once it appeared that Anna did look a little happier. She knelt on the floor by the chair and looked expectantly at Anna. "I want to help, but I'm...not sure what is wrong," she said slowly. _Please tell me. I can't even try to help if you don't tell me..._

Anna frowned, hopped up, and sat next to Elsa instead. "I just...if I tell you, I think I might make you upset or something. I don't wanna make you cry," she mumbled. _She probably thinks about that enough already. I don't want to make her think about it more._

"I don't think you are going to make me cry. Even if you do, that is okay. If you don't want to talk to me, that's fine too, but I want you to talk to _someone. _Please." Elsa hesitantly wiped Anna's tears away and waited for her to say something. She would make sure Anna was okay, and then she was going to find Kai and ask him what else she should do about Damian. "Would you like me to go find Gerda instead?"

"No." Anna moved the blanket Elsa had wrapped around her so that it draped over both of them. Elsa scooted a bit closer, feeling warm and safe despite the potential danger spreading outside their home. "It's just...I got all upset because Pieter _deserves _to be stuck in the dungeon and you didn't, and you were being so kind to him even though you weren't letting him out. Which was good by the way. And I could tell you weren't panicking, but you kept skirting so far around the chains and staring at them, and it was still bothering you. Elsa, you..." Anna hesitated and then just grabbed Elsa's good hand, which made her jump. _I'll hurt Elsa if I _don't _tell her everything because she'll think I don't trust her. _"You were being nicer to this man that pulled a sword on you than Dad was to you! Like, you didn't even have stupid Pieter chained up. You-what the _heck _are you laughing about, Elsa?!"

"I'm sorry." Elsa shook her head and gave Anna a sad, rueful smile. _Leave it to Anna to not even realize the problem. That's what's funny. _"Think about it, Anna. What point would there have been to lock me down there a-and _not _use those shackles? I might as well have just been left in my room, then. Dad did not have or know of any other way to contain my powers, and you know it."

"It shouldn't have even been an option! And even if it _was, _why couldn't he have, like, I don't know, gotten metal gauntlets like the ones we took from one of the suits of armor shortly after I found you? I still think you probably _can _break metal if you really tried, but forget that, if you and Dad both believed you couldn't and he thought concealing it was the best thing to do, which it's _not_, he could have _at least _just done that instead of chaining his daughter in the stupid dungeon! Why was I the one who ended up swiping the keys to let you out? Was he just going to leave you there for days? And there was NOTHING in that dumb cell when I found you, either! No pillows, no blankets, no nothing! You were just left in there like some kind of criminal. It's _disturbing_!" Anna knew she was ranting now, but the more she thought about it, the angrier she became. "And you couldn't possibly have been eating anything with those horrid things on your hands! Maybe that sort of thing is why you're so skinny! Why didn't you make a big stink about it?! You _had _to have known that wasn't fair."

Elsa sort of drooped further into the blanket. _I don't have any explanations. I just don't. I sort of knew that wasn't fair then, but I just...didn't say anything. I...froze and just stood there and let him chain me down there. "_I was trying to be good. And I think...I think maybe I was just...scared," she whispered. "Like...if I made a fuss, I would just...make it worse." _I remember being so scared no one would come for me, and then Anna showed up. She rescued me, even then, even when she had no idea what was wrong with me. I wish I'd made a power mistake then. At least she would have known, even if she couldn't help much. _"Thank you for...c-coming for me. Thank you so much." Elsa felt herself starting to cry, and she quickly wiped the tears away, hoping Anna wouldn't notice.

But Anna had already noticed, and she bit her lip as she gave the older girl a warm hug. "I knew I shouldn't have said anything! I made you upset."

"No, it's all right. _I'm _all right. I have you right here with me. These are not bad tears," Elsa said quickly. "Please, Anna, don't be angry with our father for making mistakes. I don't want you yelling at him or something should we actually be able to rescue him and Mom alive."

"That wasn't just a mistake, Elsa! It's horrible. What would you think if some other dad did that to his kid? Like, say...the little girl you like talking to at the chocolate shop?" Anna asked now.

"I was not four like Daisy, Anna. I understood why Dad chose to do what he did," Elsa said quietly. "It just still...hurt anyway. But that is not the same thing at all. He was scared and he...he thought I'd caused the storms..."

_So he _was_ punishing her, not just putting her there for protection purposes. What the heck?! That makes me so mad. _"Well, you were only a few years older than Daisy when you first disappeared into your room. Do you realize _that_? You weren't a teenager then. You were just a little kid. I think you felt like you couldn't make a fuss because you were, like...made to think you couldn't for so long. He deserves to be yelled at for treating you like trash," Anna insisted stubbornly. "I didn't say I didn't love him, 'cause I do, but I'm just so _mad_! And like...hurt, too. I mean, he didn't chain _me _down there too, but it hurts that he did something awful like that to my sister-_twice-_and obviously thought it was okay. But I feel like I don't have any right to be hurt about it when I know what you were going through."

"Whatever hurts I have do not make yours invalid," Elsa said firmly. _"_That is unfair to you." _If anything, she has all the more right to be upset. I ruined our childhood for her. _She felt Anna touching the faint scar on her wrist, but she didn't pull her hand away this time. _I have my bracelet now and I don't have to look at what I did to myself. It's fine if Anna sees; she saw me at my worst and it didn't chase her away._

Anna started to protest further but then realized Elsa was right, at least about that. _I still know she had it way worse than I did, I can tell _that _just from the way Elsa acts. But she does have a point. I just can't stand her defending Dad. Makes me so mad! _"Elsa...do you even understand that _everything _that's happened isn't fair to you?" she asked now, her voice a bit shaky.

_Anna, I don't have time for you to be analyzing whatever thought processes I have right now. I don't matter, really. I need to go _do _something more to find that Damian. _Elsa closed her eyes and sighed. "Maybe a little bit of me knows it. _You _make me see that...that someone can help fix me instead of...sweeping everything under the carpet. However, I also think you're just especially understanding. I honestly don't believe Dad knew just how little control I had nor how...horrible I was feeling. I really don't. His note _proves _that, Anna. He genuinely thought I was fine. Whether he was ignoring whatever he did notice or not, or just didn't care enough to help, I don't know, but he _definitely _didn't realize the extent of it." Elsa was very sure her comments were true regarding that. _I'd never have even found that note or known or thought to try looking in the ledgers if I hadn't noticed the date discrepancies, and I would never have noticed _that _had Anna not been helping me feel better. _"I know that's my fault for hiding emotions around him, but I just...I didn't want him to know."

Anna frowned. "It's not either your fault. Dad told you that ridiculous conceal it don't feel it garbage. He started it. Not you. Why...why _didn't _you try to tell him though?" _I know Elsa knows she's not okay. She understands that much and I think she knew it before. She just didn't think it was possible for her to feel better anymore or for anyone to help her._

Elsa's expression twisted as if she were in pain, and she abruptly stood up and went to look out Anna's window. Tiny snowflakes began floating around her, but she didn't try to force them away or make them stay inside this time. "Anna, I...just _look _at me. I'm a mess, and I'm always scared everyone will just hate me if they...see what's wrong. Not just the...magic, either. I am sure you know exactly what I mean. You I can trust. You've seen me at my absolute worst, a-and yet you _still _just...helped me anyway. That..." Elsa took a deep breath before saying more. _It still feels wrong to actually talk about it. I trust Anna. Talking to her is okay, Elsa. Finish. Finish what you were saying._

Anna stayed quiet for now; it was clear to her that Elsa was not finished talking but needed to convince herself to do so. Instead she just smiled at her and waited.

"That day you could have just...left me. No one would have questioned it once they saw that room. Instead you...you _helped_, no questions asked. I have no idea what you said to me when you first found me in there, but I _can _remember your care and kindness. I remember you holding me. I remember feeling safe and peaceful for the first time. It makes the rest of that day not so...awful to think about. I can never repay what you did, never. Anyway, my point is I can trust you to see me hurt and not treat me any differently. Why would I want to show pain to someone I couldn't trust? I loved Papa so much, but I felt like _nothing _I did was good enough. Never. I didn't want to...to disappoint him more by saying I couldn't handle it anymore." Elsa stopped talking again, searching Anna's expression for any sign that she didn't want to hear anymore, but Anna merely looked concerned. "I don't...I don't even know if he would have believed me, honestly." _Stop talking, Elsa. You'll make Anna more upset than she already is. _She flinched when Anna just hugged her again, but she couldn't pull away anymore. Anna was warm, and she _cared. _Anna loved her no matter what was wrong with her. "Anna...?"

"I'm here, Elsa." Anna was glad Elsa was willing to actually _talk _about things that hurt her now if asked. _I still hate how she blames herself for everything, but at least she's talking about it. That's something. "_And you can repay me by not trying that again or letting some creep hurt you, okay? That's all, I don't want anything else."

Elsa did not say anything to that. _I'll do my best, at least._ "I'm terrified of this Damian person ruining everything, and of...finding Mom and Dad alive. I know how awful that sounds, but-"

"It's not awful," Anna interrupted. "Neither thing. I'm sure Kai already told Erik to put together search details because that's what you told him to do, and will do whatever you tell them if you say to do something else. As for Mom and Dad...well, I _really _don't think Mom would try to take you away from me again anyway, and even if she did, you outrank her. We would just need to show her how you can control it lots better now. I think she'd be super happy and give us a big hug."

_You didn't mention Papa, _Elsa thought to herself, feeling an awful lot like the frightened eight-year-old girl that had first moved to her new room after the accident ruined everything.

"And Dad, well, don't worry, I'll handle him if it comes down to it, Elsa. I _will _protect you. I promise. I know neither of us would really have any authority anymore, but I could make things _very _difficult for him if he doesn't be nice to you and let me be around you. We'll get Uncle Thomas and Aunt Primrose to help us if we have to. I have got plenty of plans and I'm not scared to use them, so there." Anna gave Elsa another reassuring smile. "I won't let you be hurting and...lonely like that again, Elsa. I won't. Don't think if things go bad for a few days that it'll be stuck that way again. Just give me a little while to fix it for us. I _know _I can."

"But I don't _want _you to make things difficult for him. I want to make him proud of us. That note tells me he was _trusting _me to do the right thing. What if I can't? Certainly letting you make the worst stink in the history of Princess Anna stinks is _not _going to do that." Elsa went back to staring out the window. The drizzly weather outside was a bit dreary and gloomy but also calming to her. _I...want to go outside. I don't even know why._

Anna looked a bit offended. "Are you saying I make great big stinks over nothing all the time?"

"Yes, and you are about to do it again."

"Trying to keep my sister from being hurt-again!-is not nothing!" Anna shouted. Elsa jumped and frost crackled under her feet, though she quickly dissolved it. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, but you stop that. Stop saying you're not worth anything. I hate that! Elsa," her tone softened as she stood next to Elsa looking out the window at the rain, "you try way too hard to please, even when it hurts you. Maybe, if you _really really _tried and we made sure to say it before Dad said anything at all, you could just say, 'Dad, I want to make you happy, but I am not staying away from Anna anymore. She helps me control it.' Or something like that. Short and sweet." Anna had a sick feeling that Elsa probably would have full intentions of expressing something like that in her sweet quiet way and then be unable to. Or say it but then immediately give in if their dad didn't listen and wanted her to stay in her room again. Certainly she probably wouldn't let the angry Elsa pop out like she had before.

Anna wished Elsa would do _that _instead, though probably that WOULD get both of them into trouble. _If Mom and Dad really are out there, and the more I think about it, the more I feel like they _are, _I have got to do something. We need to let people know about Elsa's magic _before _they're found, if they're found. Because if everyone already knows anyhow, there's no reason to hide her. Most people would protest if they got to know her and then found out she's been locked away for it. Not crazy people like Damian, but nice ones like that boy Kristoff that helped Elsa. Or Marie and Daisy at the chocolate shop._

"But Anna, even if I _could _say that, what if he didn't believe me? What if..." Elsa bit her lip and looked at Anna hesitantly. _Can I really tell her my other fear? I'd make her more upset. No, I made Anna talk to me. I should talk to her. I think. _"What if I had to go in that...that cell again for it?"

_Elsa thinks Dad would punish her by chaining her in that dungeon cell again, and the idea scares her. _Anna wondered if the "big shadow" that had been hurting Elsa in her nightmare represented their father in some dark way to her. "Destroy those shackles and it's a silent way to say you won't put up with that," Anna suggested. "I'd say to just have them removed, but destroying them yourself and leaving them there would make a better message I think." She lifted Elsa's hand so the older girl would actually look at it and then said, "Elsa, you _do _have power. Literally. This can never be taken away from you. Don't let yourself think just 'cause your words can't come out right sometimes that you can't...speak up for yourself at all, okay?"

"I'll make Papa hate me, or worse, I...I'll scare him." _Defend myself with my magic to make a statement, is what Anna is saying. What? Why? _Elsa's fingers desperately gripped Anna's hand tightly now. _Why is she not scared? Anna of all people shouldn't be telling me to do that. I literally froze her heart before! I hurt her._

_Elsa, that's exactly why she knows. She knows exactly how much power you have and doesn't care. She loves you anyway. _Elsa's gaze snapped up to Anna's face when she heard Anna's next comment.

"And, you can write. You can write down whatever it is you can't say, just like you did for me right after you woke up so you could tell me about the accident right away when I asked you questions, even though you couldn't talk about it out loud yet." Anna's blue-green eyes looked so certain that Elsa couldn't help smiling a little. "I mean, okay, not right now, but you can in a few more weeks when your arm is all better."

"Maybe...maybe I could write him a letter..." Elsa wondered if that might help her anyway, even if there were no alive parents for them to help in the first place.

"Not a sweet good-natured Elsa-y letter, Elsa. A list of things you're not putting up with anymore." Anna was scowling now. If Elsa wouldn't or couldn't speak up for herself, she would protect her no matter what. "You got all mad at me that one time. Do that."

"I will not be rude and disrespectful. I shouldn't have spoken to you that way. Maybe I could...write it by myself and you can help edit..." Just from seeing some of the written correspondence Anna wrote while checking over things, Elsa knew quite well how her little sister replied to things that made her mad or upset or that she thought were stupid. She was very honest, but Anna's sometimes insulting words were not things they could mail, and then they had to redo them.

"But Elsa, sometimes it's good to be angry. I mean, I know it's bad to, like, throw a tantrum or something, but being angry in of itself isn't bad. You have _plenty _of reason to be angry. I don't think that makes you rude or disrespectful at all." Anna frowned, not quite sure how to make Elsa understand what she was thinking. "You know, I was _glad _you got mad that one day. You kinda worried me but you were...feeling something different. Or even if it wasn't really feeling something different, you expressed it differently."

"You're...glad I fussed at you...?" Elsa just looked puzzled now.

"That wasn't fussing. I yelled at you and you _spoke up. _Finally. Elsa, can you use that same tone again if you wanted to? Because I'm sure Dad would listen to it," Anna explained. _Though, I kind of have a feeling she reacted that way _because _she trusts me. _"You didn't rant or anything, you just stated things. In pretty few words too, just ones that...slammed like bricks."

Elsa's blue eyes went wide. _I must have said something horrible to her. What did I even say? I don't remember exactly... _"Anna, I'm so sorry-I don't want to hurt you, I-"

"Elsa! Quit apologizing. I bring it up because you genuinely sounded authoritative and not...like you'd let someone walk all over you. Or like your normal sweet self. You need to use that. Not necessarily get particularly mad if you just...aren't, but be able to use that tone again if you wanted to," Anna clarified.

_Anna wants me to be acting? I don't really understand._ "Acting, like the...conceal don't feel way," Elsa said after a moment.

"No! _Not _that. No no no. Definitely not!" Anna hurried to backtrack; if Elsa thought acting meant she was supposed to be concealing her real feelings entirely again, Anna didn't want her to do it at all. "I just. I don't know. I just think Dad might be more likely to listen to you if you use that calm mad voice, that's all. You were worried he wouldn't listen."

"...Oh." _Anna is probably right. _Elsa didn't really want to discuss this any further, so she changed the subject. "Will you go out to the stables with me? I'd like to see the horses."

"Definitely! We can brush one or something. Let's ask Kai to go out there with us though, just in case." _Guess Elsa's done discussing that. I'll bug her later. _Anna dug around in her closet for a hat and cloak. "I'll be ready in a minute!"

"All right."

* * *

Soon Elsa and Anna were out in the stables with Kai dutifully staying with them and keeping an eye out for potential trouble...or Damian himself. "Here, Elsa, feed Lorin an apple. Hold it out flat like this so she doesn't accidentally bite you," Anna told her now.

Calm Lorin gazed at the girls and eyed the apple Elsa was holding. That was a treat. This quiet human girl with the noisy happy one she recognized had a treat.

Elsa hesitantly held out the apple, and Lorin promptly ate it. Elsa smiled. Lorin's breath was warm on her hand, and the horse didn't seem to be scared at all. _She isn't scared of me! _Elsa thought happily. She slowly reached to pet Lorin's nose, and the big horse nuzzled her shoulder. "I want Lorin to be mine," she said after a moment. "I...I think I'd like to ride her."

Anna did not want to stop Elsa from trying something new, but she also didn't want Elsa to fall off or something and hurt her arm further. "Why not just lead her around the courtyard or something for now? She can get used to you and your voice. Besides it's cold and rainy. It might be slippery."

Kai cleared his throat. "Perhaps neither for today, princess. Miss Elsa, you are wearing nothing but a light summer outfit, and if you do not wish to stand out just yet, it may be better not to go about in almost sleet wearing that. Second, visibility is bad now due to the rain, and if Damian has allies somewhere, this weather is a perfect time to target you two from the walls. I can't watch for that."

Elsa continued petting Lorin but gave Kai a serious look. "Do you think there is anything else Anna or I can do to find him?"

"No. You have guard details out searching with a description. Perhaps a reward for turning him in so if someone is helping him hide, they may betray him, but that's it. Just _please _don't either of you go anywhere alone, even here in the castle, just in case. At the very least stay together, even if you don't have a guard or me with you." Kai looked serious now. "Miss Elsa, I wouldn't be too concerned about him spreading rumors about your magic around in general, but I think he may be out plotting regicide, honestly. If my hunch is true, you _need _to be willing to defend yourself. Yes, your sister and loyal guards will do so for you, but it would greatly help everyone else if we knew you wouldn't just...let someone hurt you like you did with Pieter."

"I won't," Elsa said softly. _I can do that. I can protect myself for Anna's sake. Even if I don't feel like I should do that, Anna comes first. "_I might not be...very good at it, but...I won't. And please do have a reward posted. Thank you for the idea."

Kai was clearly relieved. "Good. Practice with your sister so you won't freeze up under pressure, no pun intended," he said, smiling a little. _Elsa wouldn't say that if she didn't think she could do it_. "On a clear day, I'd be happy to teach both of you how to shoot. Hopefully you'll never need to, but it also might make you feel safer having that skill just in case."

"Awesome!" Anna sounded excited. _And Elsa said she wouldn't do that again. Thank goodness. I don't think I can trust her to use her magic to defend herself, but I think I can trust her to at least attempt doing _something _if she had to and not just stand there._

Elsa nodded okay. That she could do. Lorin snuffled at her hand looking for another apple, and Elsa quickly picked another apple from the bag and fed it to the horse.

"Also, I want you to know I do understand why you reacted the way you did with Pieter, even if I don't agree with it, Miss Elsa. What you did was very kind and understanding, but next time do not risk your life in order to attempt to gain acceptance, all right? There's no guarantee of the outcome being what you hoped, and you're worth more than that, no matter what you may think," Kai said firmly.

**A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**I want to say I _greatly _appreciate all the reviews but am running late for work this morning and so can't reply to all individually this time. But know they're read and appreciated!:) **

**On to the story!**

"I wish you would go out to the marketplace again, Elsa," Anna complained about a week later as they brushed Lorin, the calm horse Elsa had claimed as hers. (Though, Anna _had _to point out that they were technically _all _Elsa's, even if she had not ridden them herself.) Today Erik guarded the stable entrance for them, staying within earshot should the sisters speak loudly but far enough away that they could have a private conversation. Anna and Elsa were _not _coming to harm on his watch. They still had gotten no leads on Damian's current location, though Erik had updated them that someone matching Damian's description had been spotted near the pier a few days before. "It's fun going outside the castle with you and you seem to...talk better to Daisy now. I like that she helps you. And I mean, it can't be all that unsafe, that creep probably got out of Arendelle, really. We can't very well chase him down out of our country!"

Elsa, who was not remotely bothered by staying within the castle walls and perfectly content inside, looked at Anna and sighed. "No, but we can have him extradited if found. We will contact our allies and neighbors to let them know." She paused as another realization struck her. "Anna, I may be...reaching here, but what if contacting Weselton just...opened a can of worms? I just have this horrible feeling that he has gone there. I don't know why. I just do." _If _that _is true, I may end up making it all the more difficult to...close what happened to our parents and confront the monetary fraud._

Anna stared at her, felt a little sick to her stomach at that idea. Elsa didn't seem to be in one of her paranoid moods or panicking at all. She had a very real, valid point. _If Damian really is plotting something big, the smart thing to do would be to get out of the country for awhile, or lie low here awhile. One or the other. _"You're worried he's looking for supporters for...whatever bad stuff he might be up to, outside Arendelle, and since he probably knows the Duke of Weselton is a slimeball, he thinks he'd get support to get rid of you there."

Elsa nodded, her lopsided smile surprising Anna. "I'm oddly..._not _scared of him for myself at all. I just do not want my country thrown into chaos because of what I have. That, and like I have said before, I do not want you hurt," she said softly. "Not by losing me, though I still don't understand why, and not by being hurt yourself, either." She looked down at her good hand and balled it into a fist, ice crackling across her knuckles. _I will use it to defend Anna if I must. That I will do. I won't use it to defend myself, because I don't think it is right, but I can for her. For myself I will do something else. I swear it. I won't just...let someone kill me. I won't._

Lorin's large dark eyes gazed at Elsa curiously. There was something odd about this human; she was a little cooler than the others. Also she always brought treats. Elsa's tentative pats from that first day had turned to loving hugs once she realized the horse wasn't scared of her and she wasn't going to hurt it.

_"_Understandable." Anna grinned as she watched Elsa. Elsa's determined expression reminded Anna of a much more confident little Elsa. Maybe this whole mess would show Elsa she could do more than she thought possible once they got everything straightened out. _I don't think Elsa really cares about herself at all yet, but she's accepted that someone cares enough about her to be super upset if she's gone, and she isn't fighting me on that saying I don't need her. That's something! _"I'm so glad you like being out here. You seem...happier. Even with this stuff worrying you."

"It...means a lot to me that Lorin isn't...frightened if I mess up." Elsa suddenly seemed very, very intent on brushing Lorin's soft mane. "And...and she's so big, I don't feel so worried I might...kill her l-like what happened to the bunny." _Don't think about the poor bunny, Elsa. You already told Anna about that; don't make her sad again._

Anna frowned at her. "Elsa. You can control it now. You're not going to hurt Lorin or any other pet. If you want another bunny, we'll get you another bunny also, okay?" _Well, at least Lorin helps her feel a bit more comfortable around animals, at least._

"I do not want another bunny. I...I want the dead one I k-killed back," Elsa said softly, her big blue eyes bright with tears. Lorin moved and snuffled at Elsa's hair. Elsa seemed to perk up a bit and she smiled a little.

"Do you still wanna ride her?" Anna asked suddenly, wanting to get Elsa to think about something else. _Elsa should be fine as long as she's careful. I can lead Lorin around the courtyard for her or something. It's not like she's gonna go try horse racing. I wanna distract her from thinking about her bunny._

"I do, but...my arm. I can't hold on properly, and I don't know how anyway, and-"

"You can hold on with your good hand and I'll lead Lorin around the courtyard. We'll go nice and slow," Anna interrupted quickly. "It doesn't hurt anymore, right?"

Elsa shook her head no. "Not unless I accidentally bang it against something, like yesterday at the desk when we were working. It just is irritating," she said honestly. _I want that thing off my arm. I can't write properly, Anna is always worried about it, and it's just...annoying. I hate it._

"Then I think it'll be all right. I rode lots of times after I broke mine and was frankly not one bit careful, and I was fine!" Anna informed Elsa, who was looking at her dubiously, but clearly considering the idea. "Besides, Lorin doesn't spook easily. Obviously. She shouldn't be difficult to control anyway, isn't that right, Lorin? Are you gonna be nice for Elsa?"

Lorin nickered and stared at Anna. That human girl was kind but very excitable. And bouncy. And could be startling. She preferred quiet Elsa, even if she made strange cold things sometimes.

_I do want to. This is a new thing for me that I actually want to do. It's just... Anna already knew how to ride well, and I don't. _Elsa shifted her weight from one foot to the other nervously. What was the worst that could happen anyway? Fall off and hurt herself? Well, Anna was there, and it wouldn't matter. "Okay."

* * *

Soon Anna was slowly leading Lorin around the courtyard for Elsa, who had been more than a little frightened at first but quickly relaxed. "You still good, Elsa?" Anna asked.

"Yes." Elsa had a happy smile on her face now. _This is actually fun. And Lorin doesn't seem scared at all. _Elsa thought she would come out here every day if Anna was willing to, which she probably was.

Anna was delighted that Elsa seemed genuinely happy about riding Lorin and not just pretending to for Anna's sake. She skipped a bit as she continued walking around the courtyard. Calm Lorin gave Anna a look but obediently followed. "This is fun, Elsa! I'm glad we came out here. I think Lorin likes you," Anna announced.

Elsa actually laughed a bit and didn't say anything. The weather was clear and crisp, and she enjoyed the sun and the naturally cool temperature. They would probably get the first snow soon. Elsa decided she was genuinely excited for that. _I can go outside and play with Anna in the snow. I don't care how childish it is._

* * *

Elsa woke Anna a few days later when the first snow fell, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Anna! Anna, it snowed," she informed her little sister, who just blinked sleepily at her and scooted farther under the covers.

Anna was a bit confused, because Elsa did not usually wake her up; she was always worried about disturbing Anna's sleep. But today Elsa was waking her up, and she didn't seem remotely upset, either. "Hey, Elsa. G'morning," she mumbled, not at all keen on getting up earlier than she wanted unless Elsa was upset or something, and that didn't appear to be the case. "What did you need?"

"Nothing. But, it snowed," Elsa told her again. She hesitated and then added shyly, "I would very much like to, um, go outside with you." _And if you don't want to, I'll understand and that's okay. _No matter what Elsa told herself, she knew she would be upset if Anna did not want to, but she also didn't think Anna would do that, either.

_Oh! Elsa is actually _asking _for something! Goody. _Anna honestly didn't want to get up quite yet, but if she didn't, then sensitive Elsa would most likely be upset and she also probably wouldn't ask for anything else. Next time it might be something important she needed help with instead of asking to go do something fun. So Anna hopped up and went to look out the window. Upon looking outside, Anna couldn't help being excited at seeing the new snowy landscape in the courtyard. "It's so pretty! Yeah let's totally go outside!" She quickly brushed her hair and began pulling warm clothes out of her wardrobe. "You can borrow whatever you want, Elsa! I know you don't get cold, but you always say you don't wanna stick out, and if you go outside in the snow without warm clothes on you will definitely stick out." Anna dumped a pile of cold weather accessories on her bed.

Elsa was already wearing one of her own heavy winter outfits, but she did not have any warm hats at all, so she selected a blue one of Anna's. _Nobody goes outside to play in the snow with no gloves or mittens, but I can't stand the idea of wearing those things again. Well, except Anna. She forgot hers all the time..._

"Hey, wait a second, don't put that hat on yet. I'll braid your hair for you, just give me a second," Anna said quickly as she brushed her own hair. She noticed Elsa's uncomfortable glances at the gloves and mittens and snatched up a white fur muff instead. "Don't wear those. You can take this instead. It's not gloves and you like touching soft things. Besides, I used to get fussed at for forgetting my mittens and stuff. Nobody's going to think it's weird if you don't wear any. They'll just be thinking, Oh she must be cold! or whatever." Anna gently took Elsa's bad hand and slipped the muff over her arm. "There. I don't know if it'll ache because it's cold or anything, but just in case."

Elsa shook her head. "It won't, but the fur feels nice on my fingers," she said. "Thank you." She let Anna sit her down on the vanity stool and braid her hair, feeling more than a little spoiled. "You spoil me."

"Being nice isn't spoiling, you stinker," Anna scolded, but she gave Elsa's shoulder a squeeze. _I'm glad Elsa seems happy, but I hate her thinking I'm spoiling her just by...treating her properly. _"Can I braid your hair differently today? Your hair's so long and thick, it's fun to braid."

"You can do whatever you like with it. I don't care at all," Elsa assured her. She was surprised when Anna told her to look in the mirror a few minutes later. Anna had braided her hair into the usual French braid Elsa liked and put it over her shoulder, but she had also woven a dark blue hair ribbon into it. "It looks...pretty," she said, sounding surprised. "I actually look nice!"

Anna was absolutely delighted to hear Elsa say something positive about herself, even if she sounded surprised about it. _Awesome. _"You do look pretty, Elsa! I'm glad you like it, and I'm glad you're saying you like something about yourself. You must be feeling better today."

Elsa's cheeks grew a bit pink, but she was smiling. _I do. I...don't think that girl in the mirror is horrible. At least not right now. "_I...I didn't think I'd ever see s-something there I didn't hate," she whispered. "That must sound ridiculous. I look exactly the same as always except for the ribbon you put in my hair."

"It's not the ribbon, Elsa, it's _you. _You feel okay right now, so you see the good things about yourself." Anna wondered how many times Elsa had looked in the mirror and thought terrible things about herself. _It seems silly, but that must hurt. _"Do you really dislike your hair so much?" she asked now.

"I suppose not. It's just...there. I just hate that it sticks out so much. I wish I had hair like yours instead. Yours is pretty, but you won't stand out so much, either. Mine is...too _different._" Elsa shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably.

"You look like a fairy or something! It's pretty, Elsa," Anna informed her.

_But I don't want to look like a fairy. Normal would be better, _Elsa couldn't help thinking, though a bit of her also could see Anna's point. A fairy wasn't bad. Little eight-year-old Elsa would have thought-and did think-that a great compliment. She had heard that before. Little Anna had told her she looked like a fairy princess. _Evidently Anna still thinks it._ Elsa was quiet as she watched Anna put her cloak, hat, and mittens on. Then she shook her head when Anna tried pulling her out of the room. "A scarf. You need a scarf. And another sweater under that cloak. Or two," she protested.

Anna started to protest but then decided against it. _Of course Elsa's all worried about me bundling up, she's paranoid about me getting too cold, even though she wants to go outside together. _"I'm not going to freeze again, but if it will make you feel better, I shall put more layers on."

Soon the two sisters were happily walking through the snowy castle gardens. Anna laughed as she realized her own crunching footsteps in the snow were quite different from Elsa's barely detectable marks she left behind where she walked. Elsa did not sink into the deep snow at all; it was as if she were almost gliding over it. "Elsa, do the magic!" Anna said happily, flopping into the snow.

Elsa jumped as if Anna's words had shocked her. She glanced around nervously, but the only person in sight was Erik, and he already knew and did not care. "Anna, _please. _What if someone else hears you?!"

"Erik already knows, and he's made it clear he doesn't care. There's no one else out here," Anna said, but she didn't make more of a fuss. She hopped up and then flumped herself into an untouched snow drift to make a snow angel. "Don't you want to actually...do anything? I mean, just walking about outside is totally fine, but you tell me if you want to have a snowball fight or something."

Elsa sat next to Anna, wishing they really were by themselves. She liked Erik fine, but it still wasn't the same as being with Anna only. Erik claimed he didn't mind her magic, but he might mind if she acted childish or something. She had no wish to lose his support; he could have reacted like Pieter had and instead he seemed to think her powers were a good thing. _No, he wouldn't care. He would figure it's none of his business and is supposed to protect Anna and me no matter what. _"I would like to do something special for Christmas for us. Is there anything you specifically want to do?" Elsa usually no longer looked forward to the holiday; it was something she dreaded, but now, with Anna here...she wanted to make it a good thing again. The one thing she _did _look forward to was Anna's handmade gifts she would put under her door. _I won't have to be alone this year. I will have Anna with me, _she thought happily.

"Well, that's not for weeks and weeks yet, but I wanna make cookies with you and Gerda. And get a tree of course. I want to make this Christmas extra special! I don't know what you did for Christmas before, but I'm going to do something special for you. I just have to think on what!" Anna sounded so excited that it made Elsa feel excited too. She could see that from the way Elsa's eyes lit up even though she didn't say anything or hop up like Anna herself would do. "Elsa...did you...do anything yourself at Christmas...before? Anything at all?"

Anna immediately regretted asking when she saw Elsa's countenance fall. Elsa glanced over to Erik, who was just scanning for potential issues in the area and far enough away that if she spoke quietly, he wouldn't hear anything. "The gifts you put under my door. I liked those," she said finally. _Otherwise no, not really. I wanted a tree in my room when I was little the first Christmas after the accident, but...I didn't get to have one._

"I...I'm so sorry, Elsa. I shouldn't have asked," Anna apologized. _I'm very very sure she means she didn't do or like anything else. _She grabbed Elsa by her good arm and tugged her close. "We'll make this Christmas different. Let's not make any effort to look for Mom and Dad anymore until after," she suggested. "Just in case."

To Anna's surprise, Elsa actually laughed a bit as she shook her head. "No, we keep trying anyway. We'll come up with some plan to confront that duke without putting us, them, or the rest of Arendelle in danger. You know we wouldn't be able to go rescue them before then even if we found solid evidence they are alive beyond a...feeling and the evidence that something is not right. I'm not saying we are wrong, because I do not think we are, but...still." She tilted her face toward the gray sky and closed her eyes as the naturally falling snowflakes landed on her face. _I am lucky to just have these months with Anna. If I'm no longer allowed to be with her...after we find them, then at least I had that. I can't live like that again, but at least I could feel safe enough to tell Anna a proper goodbye if I had to. _"...Anna?"

"What?" Anna sounded a bit suspicious, not liking Elsa's tone. She sounded resigned and sad now. That was not good. That was never good.

"Promise me if something happens to me, you won't be angry with our parents," Elsa said, her voice soft but steady.

Anna tightened her hold on her sister and shook her head hard. _Elsa doesn't even sound particularly upset. What the heck is she thinking of now? I know darn well if she was locked up alone like that again she would probably...die. Even if she doesn't want to break her promise. It happened once. It could happen again. Even if she _didn't _attempt doing that to herself again...I think Elsa would die inside. I've seen her before. She could barely even talk to me at first after I found her. "_I won't promise that. Not when I know what you aren't saying," she muttered.

"I don't mean purposely...attempting that again, Anna," Elsa told her almost inaudibly, pulling away a little so she could see Anna's face. "I mean I think I'd be...ill. I don't know how to explain, I just...don't think I could...s-stay very long. Please believe me. I _don't _mean trying again. I...I promised. I don't want to break it again." She glanced toward Erik again, scared he might have somehow heard her even though she knew he couldn't possibly have, but the man only caught her gaze and nodded politely. He went back to scanning for threats to his two princesses.

Anna's eyes filled with tears, but she nodded. _Okay, Elsa. I think I get it. _"I think I understand. I still am not promising any such thing, but lemme ask you one thing. And it's fine if you don't know. Elsa, what are _you _going to do if we get Mom and Dad back and he wants you to stay in your room? I know what I'll do. We need to have an actual plan, even if we never have to actually use it."

Elsa stood up and began walking again, and Anna hopped up and crunched through the snow beside her. _I don't know. No, I do know. _"I would try to speak up and probably fail, or be convinced otherwise," she admitted, shaking her head.

_All right. So we got that far. She wants to speak up. _Anna grabbed a handful of snow and began nibbling it as they kept walking. "Okay, so absolute worst scenario. Elsa, can you last a few weeks so I can get us help?" she asked softly. "Please trust me. I'm not going to leave you or let...years go by again. But if we can't straighten things out ourselves, we'll have to get help, and that will take a bit of time."

Elsa bit her lip, but she slowly nodded. "I...I think so. If...if I knew it would all _stop _soon, that...would help. I just don't want to hurt Dad, Anna. I don't want you to ruin things for him just because of me."

_Well then he better be nice to Elsa, _Anna thought unapologetically, but she reached her mittened hand for Elsa's bare one and gave her a reassuring squeeze. "That, is his choice. If he's going to be horrible to you and you feel like you can't do anything about it and Mom feels like she can't either, then I will. Also...if you don't want me ruining his reputation, because I _assure _you I most certainly will if I have to, then you need to show him you won't put up with being treated like that yourself. You have power, Elsa, so don't you forget that."

"You want me to threaten Dad with my magic?! Anna, I'll end up in that...horrible cell again," Elsa whispered. Only the sparkling snowy landscape around them outside kept her mostly calm this time. That and Anna's warm hand clutching hers. _What can I do? I know Anna has a point, but I can't do that to him. I love Papa. I don't want to hurt him!_

Anna dropped Elsa's hand, marched in front of her, and put her hands on her hips. "Elsa Ingrid Nicoletta Grieg. Think about it. He can't put you in there unless you let him. I didn't say _hurt _him, but you don't need to put up with that. I told you before, you have more power than you think. I felt it when you accidentally froze me. Dad was as scared of your powers as you were. He's not going to do anything to you if you speak up, because he'll be scared of what your magic might do, even though _we _know you can control it fine." She hesitated, knowing Elsa was not going to want to purposely use fear against anyone, especially someone she considered close to her. "You can be your normal nice sweet self, you know. Just say No."

"I am going to write a letter once my arm completely heals, which I think I told you before. I know what I want it to say, and I know you said you would help, but...I want to do it by myself. You can read it when I have finished it, though," Elsa made sure to add that last part. _I don't want Anna to think I don't trust her. This is just something I need to do on my own._

"Okay. That's...good, actually. Very." Anna grabbed Elsa's hand again and began walking again, this time back toward the courtyard. "I want to have a snowball fight with you," she announced.

"Really?" Elsa's lopsided smile made Anna smile too. She clearly was excited and had something planned. _I can do this with Anna. I can at least do it now, so I have something to hold on to later if I must. _Elsa held no grand ideas in her head that she would somehow keep her current position of authority or be able to do what she pleased if their parents came back. All the same, she would _not _ruin everything for Anna. If Anna wanted her around, she would stay. Always.

* * *

"I'm so glad this finally came in the mail," Anna said to Gerda about two weeks later. After much inward debating on whether or not she should send a personal letter to their aunt and uncle without telling Elsa, besides the formal ones she and Elsa had worked on together; Anna finally had decided to do it. There was _no way _Elsa would want her to tell them anything about what had happened before, and she didn't want Elsa to end up saying to not mail it. So Anna had kept her personal letter to herself and not shown it to Elsa. If Elsa straight out asked, Anna would tell her, but not otherwise. There wasn't really any reason Elsa would do that anyway. "Can I read it to you? You know what I wrote before 'cause I showed you my letter before I sent it."

"Of course, Miss Anna. Please don't feel like you have to though," Gerda told her. "Where's your sister, anyways?" _Elsa may not be my child, but I won't have her left alone if I can help it._

"She's grooming Lorin. Again. I think Lorin helps her feel better. Erik's keeping an eye on her, but I don't think Elsa will, you know...hurt herself again anyways. Erik thinks he's just watching for creeps though, 'cause he doesn't know what Elsa did before. Well I guess he has probably guessed it but I'm not telling him and he won't ask about it." Anna cleared her throat and began reading the letter. "It's kind of long but here goes. Aunt Primrose wrote most of it. '_Dear Anna, We were happy to receive your letter; not so happy to learn some of the contents therein. If you and Elsa are correct with your findings that you shared in the business letter you sent, I can see trouble occurring should you successfully rescue Agdar and Idun. You're always welcome here, no warnings needed, no questions asked. Rapunzel is dying to meet her Arendelle cousins! Tell Elsa so, even if you don't wish to share all of this letter with her. I may not fully understand what has occurred for the last decade, but I can see Elsa cannot remain at home if your father won't change his ways. Convince him to send her here if necessary. She may not have you here and it wouldn't be home to her, but we will love her and take care of her. That I can promise. If Elsa herself refuses to leave as I am suspicious she may do, send word and either I or Thomas will come ourselves. Perhaps she may change her mind if she sees that we want to have her. You needn't worry about my sister; she loves Elsa very much even if I know she was frightened by her too. I think if she saw you two are much happier together, it should be all right. She wasn't comfortable with completely separating the two of you in the first place, you know; she wrote as much in many letters._

_'Please don't feel like you must handle all of this yourself. You still have Gerda working there, I assume. If so, make sure she stays with Elsa if you're not being allowed to right away, because I know from seeing Elsa as a baby that Gerda enjoyed taking care of her, and that she trusted her. ..._Hey, Gerda, she mentioned you! Cool." Anna gave Gerda a hug and paused for a moment. "You probably made little baby Elsa really happy," she informed Gerda. "Was she cute?"

Gerda smiled at that. It felt rather nice for the princess's relatives to remember her by name, especially all these years later, and she _had _enjoyed caring for baby Elsa, too. Baby Elsa had made her happy after losing her own baby years before the little princess was born. "She was adorable. And she was very tiny at first, but you know that."

Anna scrunched her precious letter in her fist. "Did...did Mom and Dad like her better before normal ol' me came?" she asked hesitantly. "And was Elsa sad when she was teeny? She had to have sensed something wasn't right. I know it, from looking at her old medical records. There...there was a note. A note saying Dr. Raske was concerned 'cause she only wanted you to hold her and nobody else." _I don't know how to erase something that's quite literally hurt her for her entire life._

_"_Miss Elsa didn't know or understand that she was different at all for quite awhile, princess. I can remember her trying to express that she wanted _me _to make snowflakes like her. I think Elsa thought everyone had magic like hers and slowly realized it was something only she has. She just didn't trust anyone, that's all. How much of that was from being simply choosy and cautious because she's naturally shy and quiet, and how much was because she was frightened, I don't know." Gerda wondered if Elsa remembered much from before Anna had been born. Probably some but not a whole lot, since she had been so young then. "Also, she did love your mother holding her once she wasn't quite so tiny."

_So Mom did love Elsa lots. She just didn't like her powers, but she still tried to care for her properly. Good. _"Thanks for loving Elsa like you do, Gerda. It means lots. I'm so glad we have you. I mean, you don't have to do all the extra stuff you do for us, but you do anyway. Like the other day Elsa told me you literally spent _your _money to buy her a new carpet before so she wouldn't get in trouble for ruining another, and then you and Kai replaced it for her. You guys didn't have to do that. I think you kept Elsa going all those years." Anna took a deep breath and went back to reading her letter aloud. " '_You also mentioned special shackles in the dungeon that were made for someone with magic like Elsa. Anna, just have them removed if she won't destroy them herself. I know you said you wanted her to do it, but if they're simply gone, they cannot be used on her. If Elsa is desperate to please, use that to help her speak up. You and Elsa have good heads on your shoulders. Use them. Your father will not want drama about the family to get out. Thomas wishes to add something here.' _Here this is Uncle Thomas's handwriting," Anna said now, and went on, " '_Elsa has something no one else can claim. She is direct heir to her country's throne and has been gifted with otherworldly powers besides. She may not believe it, but many people will say she's like that by divine right or something similar. If you and Elsa get others to know she has magic _before _parent-rescuing, that will help, because people will want to protect the magical princess._

_'Please keep in mind that we will be more than happy to come to your aid for whatever reason you might have. Elsa should know this from business correspondence. Make sure she knows her family will come to help _her _too. We hope to see you both for a visit sometime soon._

_Love, Primrose and Thomas' _Oh I'm so glad this came back. Elsa will be too. I'm not gonna show it to her but I'll tell her." Anna carefully folded her letter and smiled at Gerda. "This makes me feel loads better. If something rotten happens Elsa will have a safe place to go if she has to." She hesitated before asking, "Can I...ask a huge huge favor?"

"You know you don't need to ask that, princess," Gerda said instantly. "What might it be?"

"I, um...I just really really want you to go with Elsa if something happens that she needs to leave. I want you to get her out of here and take her to Corona or hide her in plain sight without anybody knowing she's...Elsa." Anna looked upset but very determined. _I don't want to be separated from her again, but I don't know what else to do. If I went too we'd probably get caught before we got far. This way I could stall things and leave myself later if I wanted to...right?_

"Miss Anna, if I got caught with her, I could be accused of kidnapping her and your sister would be in a fine heap of trouble herself," Gerda said cautiously. "Does she know you are planning all this?"

Anna was indignant. "Of course not. Elsa would end up thinking I'm trying to get rid of her or something. I just want to protect-"

"I know that, but I'm not going to just leave." Elsa's quiet voice sounded from the doorway. She glanced from Anna to Gerda and back again. _I don't expect Anna to tell me everything she does, but...what things did she write in this letter she didn't tell me about?_

Anna gulped. "Umm...how much did you hear just now?" she questioned. _Elsa's so quiet I didn't even realize she was there. Elsa please don't be upset. Or mad. She doesn't look mad, though, just kind of worried and confused._

"Enough. I won't ask to see your letter, of course, but..." Elsa trailed off and shifted her weight from one foot to the other nervously. "Anna, they are our relatives, but we don't know them," she said finally. "What did you write about me?"

"Nothing. Well I mean I said you were stubborn. But what I wrote was the facts of the accident that I know from what you told me, and the facts of what Dad did with us after. I, um...I didn't mention the s-suicide attempt if that's what you're worried about," Anna told her. She ran over to give Elsa a hug, but the older girl didn't return the gesture this time; she just stood there stiffly. "...Elsa? Please say something. I wanted to help, and this is the only way I knew how. They said they'd help, and they know about your magic already and _they want you. _I just wanna make sure you'll have a safe place to go if we rescued Dad and he's mean to you again."

_I know. I just can't help being...scared. What if they didn't want me either? What would I do with no Anna around? _"I would rather stay in my room than...than not be able to talk to you at all," Elsa said softly.

"And that horrible ol' dungeon cell, Elsa?" Anna asked in a flat voice. "That's all fine and dandy if we just use the secret passages to-oops." Anna clapped a hand over her mouth, realizing only too late that she wasn't supposed to tell anyone besides Elsa about those.

"Anna! I don't care that Gerda knows-she is trustworthy and can _keep her mouth shut-_but don't say that around anyone else!" Elsa hoped her little sister had not told anyone else. _I wonder how many of our guards realize that there are secret passages, even if they don't know where they are...I am sure Kai has probably guessed it as well._

Gerda shook her head. "Don't worry, I already knew, Miss Elsa." Elsa's multiple disappearances from her room before when Gerda knew she had not left via the hallway had told her as much. The girl probably had been using them as a way to explore outside of her room and not be trapped there all the time. She wanted to just take both sisters and give them a hug. Most certainly neither of them would mind, but still.

"I'm sorry. I just meant..." Anna trailed off; Elsa's statement that she would rather stay in her room than leave Arendelle and not have Anna to talk to at all wasn't surprising, but still. What on earth could she say to that?

"You meant you could easily get to me if I was locked in my room, but not if I was chained in that cell." Elsa went over to Anna's window and gazed outside. _Could I really just...not let Dad do that if I had to? I don't even know. I don't think he would try to literally force me to stay there. He would talk me into letting him and make it sound like it was for the best._

_Maybe it wouldn't be so bad? _Elsa balled her good hand into a fist, annoyed with herself for even trying to convince herself of that. Anna would be disappointed in her. She was disappointed in _herself _for thinking it. "And I won't have Gerda risking herself, either. She is right-she would get in trouble and so would I." Elsa turned abruptly and spoke without meeting Anna's eyes, "There is something I need to do...downstairs. By myself. Please don't worry unless it has been more than ten minutes and I haven't returned."

Anna hopped over a pile of stuff on the floor and ran to Elsa. _Elsa wants to do something on her own in the dungeon, thinks she can, but isn't completely sure. So she won't ask, but she wants someone to help her if she freaks out. "_Okay. I can do that. I don't understand why you have to go down there alone, but okay." She gave the older girl a quick hug. "You be careful and come back if you need to, even if you don't finish...whatever it is."

_I will try. _Elsa nodded.

* * *

"Please let someone come with you," Erik was clearly concerned; he did _not _want Elsa going down into the dungeon by herself.

"Take a break, Erik. I...relieve you from duty for t-today," Elsa said as firmly as she could. _I appreciate you protecting Anna and me, but I'll be fine. You work too hard._

Now the loyal guard appeared startled. "I apologize-"

"_No. _No apology." Elsa's quiet interruption made him go silent. "You have done nothing wrong. Princess Anna and I shall be expecting your s-service back tomorrow." There. That sounded good enough. She did not want Erik to apologize to her; she was still extremely grateful to have his support in the first place. _I still don't want him to think I'm just some stupid girl that doesn't know what she's doing though, even if it's true. _She turned and headed down the stairs to the dungeon by herself, determined to get to that cell before she lost her nerve.

Erik hesitated; he did not wish to disobey direct orders, not only was that incredibly disrespectful, he would lose quiet, suspicious Elsa's trust. Still, she needed to be kept safe. Letting her go down there alone was certainly not safe. What if she went into Pieter's cell and the man tried to harm her again? "Princess Elsa," he called.

Elsa turned around and gave him a puzzled look. _Yes? What's the matter now?_

"Are you planning to question Pieter yourself again?"

Elsa shook her head no. "I just need to...take care of something. In the..._different _cell," she answered slowly, unsure how to explain and most definitely not wanting to either. _Please leave me alone before I just run back upstairs. I want to do this now. Right now. At least...try to._

Erik nodded. "I see. Will you object to my waiting until you return?"

"No, but you do not need to." Elsa did not care for Erik's expression; he looked a bit like he felt bad for her. She hated that.

_I think he knows I was locked down there before._

Erik looked her straight in the face. "That is true, but I will wait here unless you order otherwise."

Elsa felt a bit better. The man wasn't lying to her; she was certain of it. He would leave if she ordered it, but only if, because he genuinely cared. "Very well. Thank you," she said after a moment. Then she turned and went down the steps.

Elsa strode straight to the old hated cell and pushed the door open, ignoring the two guards outside Pieter's cell. They had appeared puzzled but did not question her. _I want to destroy those shackles. If I destroy them, I'll know I can get out if I wanted to. I'll know I'm not really trapped even if more were made. _She stood in the doorway, frost crackling over her knuckles, ice spreading across the floor. _Go inside, Elsa. It will be okay. Even if you can't do this, even if you freak yourself out...Anna will come. You know she will._

Elsa took one step into the cell, then a second. The heavy door loomed beside her. _I feel sick. What am I even doing?_

_Just try, Elsa. Close that door and try. _She took a few steps more and then turned to shut the barred door before she could change her mind. The magic flowed uneasily just under her skin, waiting for her to use it. _It knows I want to. Is this wrong? Anna told me it was okay to be angry. _Elsa's feet felt rooted in place, not letting her go any further. She didn't want to touch those chains, didn't want to touch those awful shackles.

The ice settled uncomfortably in her chest, right in the spot where her heart hurt inside. Elsa was not sure if it was literally hurting her physically or if some emotions thing she didn't understand was hurting instead. Anna would probably know. _Maybe I don't have to touch those things, _she thought hopefully. She scrunched her eyes shut, trying to ignore the memories the place held. _I have two good ones. When Anna came to let me out. When Anna came to see if I was okay after we were fussing at each other. Those were good. _Elsa imagined she could feel the awful drooping heaviness of those metal things on her hands again, but she also remembered Anna.

_Anna hugged me even though she didn't know what was wrong with me. She didn't try to make me explain why I couldn't touch her after she freed me. _Elsa's blue eyes filled with tears, and yellowish purple ice shot across the floor as she stamped her foot. She would _not _let these horrid old things make her panic. Not this time. The temperature in the cell plummeted below freezing, and she closed her eyes, snatching up one of the shackles before she could convince herself to just run back upstairs. _Latch it shut and then break it, Elsa. You can do it. You _know _you can._

_I don't know how!_

"Metal becomes brittle once cooled enough," she muttered to herself, "and if this does _not _work, Anna will quickly find m-me." Elsa knelt on the now-icy floor, struggling to get the small latch closed. Shaking fingers and the splint on her bad arm made for a bad combination to do this. Then, just like that...it was done. One small heavy thing that caused so much fear and hurt inside her.

It did not seem so terrifying now, as she gazed at the _thing _resting uncomfortably on her lap. _Because this time I am not scared of being left here. _Even if _Anna _didn't know she was here, which she did, Erik or Gerda or Kai would come eventually.

_Not if Papa put me here, they wouldn't. _The fear was back. Elsa clenched her good fist inside the shackle, ice forming over her hand, fighting to expand against the metal. _Why did I ever think I could do this? I don't want to be here._

_Just until the storm is over, Elsa. _Elsa's gaze snapped to the closed door. Of course there was no one there, just like before. _Stop it. Stop it stop it stop it. _Snowflakes floated around her, betraying the unease inside.

_I want Anna. I can't do it without her._

_You wanted to do it on your own. Now do it!_

_I feel all wrong and sick inside. I can't. My ice hurts_. Elsa's gaze jerked to the small barred window on the door when she heard a sharp knock.

"Princess Elsa, do you require assistance?" came an unfamiliar voice. It was one of the guards that had been keeping watch on Pieter. He did not open the door, but knocked again when Elsa didn't answer immediately.

_Say no, Elsa. He can't come in-he will see the ice, and...why does it matter? He knows already. Say no. _"No." Elsa's short reply came out sharper than she had intended; the guard apologized and let her be before she could say more. _That was mean. You owe him an apology. Not right now. After. After you are finished. _Ice formed over her trapped hand-clear, smooth ice this time, not the sharp, unintentional ice she had created last time she'd tried to free herself from these things.

Elsa took a deep breath and concentrated on the small beads of her bracelet pressed against her skin. _There is no nightmare here. I won't let there be. So there. _The bad dream that had frightened her so much before was _not _real, would never be real, she had Anna-

_ice...ice everywhere...Anna almost died before-I froze her!...No! No no no, she's fine, she's just upstairs, I can go find her._

_I have to get out. _Tears blinded her as she tried to pick at the latch with her bad hand; it wouldn't _open. _Why had she come down here alone anyway? Anna would have come with her if she had asked. The scared, angry ice surged to her fingertips locked under metal. Elsa looked up when familiar warmth gently held her injured arm still. _Anna? _"What are you-"

"It was ten minutes and you didn't come back. I was waiting in the corridor for you, I would've waited some more, but you were starting to freak out, so I came in." Anna didn't really understand why Elsa had purposely put one of those shackles on her own hand, but she resisted the urge to free Elsa herself. Obviously Elsa wanted to break it, and she wanted to break it off, not just blast magic at it willy-nilly. "Elsa, stop struggling. You'll hurt yourself. Use your magic to get that thing off you. You can do it." _I'm so glad Elsa at least _wants _to destroy these things. I don't want them to exist anymore._

Elsa stopped trying to pull her splinted arm away from Anna and just sat still, blinking in confusion at her trapped hand still resting on her lap. "I...I want to go upstairs," she whispered. _Please. Please just take me back upstairs. I don't think I can do this. _Should _I do it?_

Anna's reply was just as quiet, but she spoke firmly, hoping this was the right thing to do. "I know, but you have to destroy those stupid things first. I won't leave you though, Elsa. Okay?"

Elsa slowly nodded, but then she asked, "What if I _can't?_"

"You can. You just have to want to, which obviously you do 'cause you came down here again when it scares you and makes you sad. Stop holding back. I'm not magic like you, but I _have _felt your magic. You've got more than enough power to break some silly old shackles. It's metal, and even I know metal gets brittle if it's made cold enough." Anna was glad Elsa scooted closer and didn't yank her bad hand away. Obviously she was thinking, and she seemed to be mostly okay now other than the tears streaking her cheeks. _I am a hundred percent sure she can, but if she really tries and still can't then I'll figure out how to get that awful thing off her and we'll go back upstairs._

"What if the thing shatters and sends little pieces of metal all over? I don't want to hit you," Elsa answered after a minute. _Anna is right. I do have the power to do it. I was holding back before. A lot. _A tiny dark part of her wondered if her daddy had frightened her on purpose so she wouldn't do anything.

Anna just helped Elsa to her feet. The sound of the chain links rattling made her cringe. Seeing Elsa down here made her want to cry. But instead of letting herself do that, she gave her sister a hug and then went to the door. "I'll wait right over here. I have a thick cloak on anyway since it's cold down here, so even if little pieces go all over, it won't hurt me."

Elsa nodded. _Okay. Thank you. _She gave Anna one last look before focusing her magic on what she wanted to do. _You can do it, Elsa. Just channel all that hurt and fear and...anger into something _controlled. _You have been practicing using your magic with Anna for awhile now. Use that. Charge it up inside and unleash it _only _on that metal thing._

_I can make _myself _colder if I need to. That won't hurt me, or Anna._

Anna couldn't help being surprised at the sudden explosive sound and the swirl of snow spiraling around Elsa. There was a second loud _bang! _as Elsa's deathly cold ice slammed against the bars on the window. They did not shatter, but they looked bent now.

The broken shackle clattered to the floor, and Elsa jumped back. A stamp of her foot and the second was instantly covered over by ice. Elsa held out her hand, willing the ice to contract and crush the metal it encased. Blue sparks of magic danced around her palm and shot across the floor. _I hate those things! I hate them. I will destroy them and I don't care anymore...I do though, I'm lying to myself._

_Anna would say it's okay to care _and _to destroy them._

The girls heard a sickening crunch as the metal morphed to a nearly unrecognizable piece of junk. Elsa closed her eyes and hid her fist in her skirts. _I...I did it? It's that simple? Is Anna okay? Papa, why did you put me here? It's not even...I am literally able to get out. What is the point of a cell that doesn't hold its prisoner? I'm the problem. Should I have spoken up? I didn't know how, I couldn't. Why? Would speaking up really have made everything worse or would it have helped? _"It doesn't matter, I _tried_, I couldn't do it-"

"You did do it. They're busted," Anna said quietly. She reached to hug Elsa, but she was still far too cold to touch, and she pulled her hand back. _I can't touch her right now. If I do, I'll get hurt, Elsa will realize, and she'll be upset. If I don't, Elsa will think I'm scared of her. _Anna bit her lip, unsure what she was supposed to do.

Immediately Elsa seemed to deflate, and she backed up, assuming she had frightened Anna. _What did I expect? _"I'm so sorry. You...you don't have to stay, I-"

_Be honest. I should be honest. _"Elsa, I'm not scared of you _at all. _I swear it," Anna interrupted quickly. "But, you're too cold to touch right now. I don't have any extra blankets with me to put on you so I can give you a hug. If we go upstairs, we can get some. I just don't wanna scare you." She took her own cloak off and put it around Elsa. Elsa herself was still cold to touch, even through the thick cloak, and the dungeon itself was cold too, but the temperature in the dungeon wasn't dangerously cold like Elsa, who _definitely _needed a hug in Anna's opinion. It would warm her up and comfort her too.

Elsa had her eyes scrunched shut, and she tried her best to make her body temperature go back to normal. _I'm still right around freezing. I can feel it. Reverse it, Elsa. Go back to normal. Think about being warm and cozy upstairs. _She wanted her Anna hug, and she wanted to go upstairs. "You...you took your cloak off. You'll freeze," she protested.

"Nah, it's fine. Just dissolve the ice and then we can go upstairs." Anna was shivering a bit, but this wasn't going to hurt her. She watched Elsa slowly dissolve most of the ice, and then pushed her out into the corridor. Elsa didn't resist; she was happy to head back upstairs. The second they were in Anna's room, Anna took the cloak from Elsa and put it back on herself.

Elsa watched silently as Anna dumped a pile of blankets on the carpet and then selected the softest one to put around her. The ice inside calmed further. _Anna is not either scared. She's being careful for once, so she can protect both of us, _Elsa thought. _Anna knows I'm capable of being dangerous and she doesn't care. _"Thank you," she whispered.

Anna smiled and tugged the soft blanket over Elsa's platinum hair. "You're already lots warmer. I can tell. Here, sit. I think maybe your magic just needs to finish calming itself down. You're still upset but not all panicky or anything, and usually you just get freezing like that if you freak out. Did you cool yourself down like that on purpose this time?"

"...Yes. I had to make sure the magic wouldn't explode onto you, and cooling _myself _seemed...safe." Elsa sat next to Anna on the carpet, her good hand clutching Anna's soft blanket around her. _I was scared and upset and it needed to channel somewhere...not dangerous, in case I did have one of those horrible attacks._

"You did good. Well, I mean," Anna said, hugging the older girl tightly. "Those things are all gone, and while yeah, you did _start _to freak out, you were okay mostly. D'you want another blanket? You're not too cold or anything, I'm just wondering if it'd make you feel better." She was surprised when Elsa reached for the heaviest one, an old thing Anna had loved when she couldn't sleep when she was little. "You want that old thing, Elsa?"

Elsa nodded. "I feel...safer under it. I wrecked the weighted one Gerda made me when we were little." She was very glad Anna didn't question it. Anna just grabbed a pillow that had fallen off the bed and pushed her onto it, tucking the blankets around her. _I'm so lucky to have Anna._

_"_You keep mine then, Elsa. I only use it sometimes anyways." Anna gave Elsa's shoulder a squeeze. _Elsa looks mostly happy now. I'm glad I could help her. I know something's still bugging her, but at least she's smiling. It's just...Elsa's eyes are sad. Are mine sad too? Elsa's guards are worried about her. I could hear them talking. They respected her enough to obey her and leave her be, but they know darn well she's hurt._

"...Anna?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Papa frightened me on purpose so I wouldn't...do anything?" Elsa sounded calm and matter-of-fact, but her eyes were bright with tears and the smile had faded. _I love him. I don't understand him, I don't like what he did, but...I still love Dad. "_Because...I don't think my powers grew _that much _in the months since...last time I was trapped in there. I should have been able to...get out then."

Anna gulped. How on _earth _was she supposed to answer that? "I don't think so, but..." she trailed off. _What if he did? I wouldn't be surprised by anything at this point. _"Elsa, you were holding back _a lot, _and you hid your emotions from him all the time. It's not your fault, but he probably didn't know how scared you were," Anna said finally. "I mean...did you cry? Or anything like that?"

"Not until I was alone."

Anna couldn't help imagining how horrible it must've felt to be locked in that cell with those awful shackles, trapped alone in the dark all night with no light or food or _anything. _She wrapped her arms around Elsa and just hugged her close. _I'm not letting her go down there again. Never if I can help it. There's not even a reason to anymore. _"It must've been scary. I'd probably cry too."

"And throw a fit." Elsa sounded somewhat amused now, which made Anna worry a bit less. _I feel a bit better just knowing Anna thinks it would have scared her too, even if she would have yelled and made a fuss to prevent it. _"Let's go fix your memories once my arm is completely healed. If I can break metal, I can protect you."

* * *

MEANWHILE...

"What exactly did Princess Elsa do in that cell?" Pieter called to the two guards still watching his cell from the corridor.

"What's it to you?"

"She's my princess too!"

"You attacked her! She could've executed you for that. If she chooses to tell you what she was doing, then that is her choice. But I shall not tell you a thing."

Pieter considered the loud explosive sounds and the metal bending and crushing noises they had all heard a few minutes before. Anna and Elsa had then gone back upstairs and sounded like they were both fine, if their footsteps were any indication. _Elsa..._broke _those metal shackles? Those were heavy wrought iron. _"Princess Elsa somehow crushed the special shackles in that cell, didn't she?"

One of the guards abruptly opened Pieter's cell and went inside. He stared right at Pieter. "Be glad she is not one of those tyrannical dictator types. You want to see that cell? Get out here and you can see before going back in yours."

"...She's so _small, _and she did _that_?!" Somehow even after seeing Elsa using her magic before, the state of the old dungeon cell surprised Pieter. Elsa had indeed dissolved most of her ice, but the destroyed shackles still lay on the floor, the chains in pieces, and the bars on the window were bent outwards like something heavy and very strong had punched it. Certainly Elsa's small fist had not done such a thing, and she certainly couldn't _possibly _be physically strong enough to crush metal. It was her magic that had let her do this.

"Yes. We should be grateful Princess Elsa is on Arendelle's side. Why, if anyone ever threatens Arendelle, she could quite literally destroy ship cannons and the like. Any small demonstration of this and most likely enemies would go running or come crawling to her for help and forgiveness. Who knows what else she can do?"

**A/N: And that's a wrap for today.**

**Next chapter coming soon!**


	14. Chapter 14

** A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**So I have a question for my reviewers. Since these chapters are pretty long, do you want to have to scroll past replies to reviews or would you rather I didn't do them? I also can't always reply to everyone right when I'm about to share the chapter either, and those times, replying will mean the chapter goes up day(s) later if I'm busy. So I'd love input.:) I'm not saying I will or won't at the moment but I wanted opinions anyway!**

**On to the story!**

"We _have _to leave a note, Anna, I don't want Gerda and everyone to worry too much," Elsa said firmly. True to her word, once Elsa's arm was healed, she immediately told Anna she would go with her to the Valley of the Living Rock to fix Anna's memories whenever Anna was ready. "We can lock your door and leave the note in your room. Gerda will know to have Kai get your door open once hours pass and neither of us answer. Then they will know where we went and know we aren't hurt. I don't want to lock _my _door also because that...that will probably scare her worse." Elsa's expression was clearly guilty, and she was twisting her special bracelet around on her wrist. _I'm sure she'll still get worried, but I won't have Gerda thinking I did...that again._

Anna quickly nodded and smiled at Elsa, hoping she would stop making that guilty face. _No, she shouldn't have done that to herself, but I don't want her feeling guilty and upset, either. That won't help her feel better so she won't feel like doing that again. _"Okay. Do you want me to write the note?"

Elsa shook her head; she had gotten that splint off her arm the day before, and she thought she could write fine, just not for an extended period of time yet. A note should be okay. "Let me try. Please," she said quickly.

"Well, all right, but you better tell me if it gets sore or tired or something," Anna informed her, knowing quite well Elsa would probably hurt her arm by using it too much too soon if no one made her be careful. "Is your magic working okay now?"

Elsa tilted her head to one side, considering that as she looked down at her hands. _I...don't know. I haven't tried. It doesn't feel wrong, but...not exactly 'normal' if I can call it that either. _She hesitantly made her snowflake; it instantly appeared, hovering and slowly spinning over her palm. "I can do that, anyways," she said after a moment. _I don't think it will let me do much more though. Or else, if I tried, it would hurt._

Anna frowned. "If it hurts, quit that!" she scolded. "I just want you to be okay, I don't want you to be hurting. It's all right if you can't do the magic just yet. I'm not upset with you."

"It doesn't hurt. I just don't think it wants me to...stress it too much. If I tried to crush metal with it, I think _that _would hurt. But I'm fine, really." It crossed Elsa's mind that she would not be able to free her other hand should she be trapped in a place with something like those destroyed shackles, but she kept that worry to herself. For now they were gone, she had Anna, and she would go get Anna's memories back, no matter what the cost might be. She sat at her desk to write the note, and while her hand did get tired almost immediately, it didn't hurt and she could write just fine. "There. Let's go put it in your room and then we can go. I want us to arrive before dark."

Anna grinned and nodded. "Let's! We can sleep in the Valley of the Living Rock. It'll probably be safer there than someplace along the route. Besides I'm hoping that boy Kristoff you met will be there. I want to meet him!" she said excitedly. _I think this will be fun._

After carefully making sure their note would be easily found once Gerda went into Anna's room, the sisters quickly slipped through the secret passages outside the walls. Elsa stiffened the second they got outside, like she had every time they had gone to the marketplace before, but she took a deep breath and began walking. The snow on the ground meant they would leave footprints as they walked away from the castle. Elsa stood stock still, biting her lip. "Anna..."

"The trail we'll leave? Just fill my footsteps in as you walk behind me, Elsa," Anna whispered in her ear. "You don't leave a trail anyway, and you can hide mine easily."

"If I make too much, people will realize what I'm doing," Elsa whispered back. _Also, I'm not cold at all, but I don't want Anna sleeping outside! We have blankets, but...maybe this is a bad idea. Maybe we should wait._

"They will not. Nobody is going to think a random girl walking by is creating snow. They'll think their eyes are playing tricks on them and move on. Besides, you can stop once we get away from here and the snow's already been trampled on a bunch." Anna gave Elsa's shoulder a reassuring squeeze and started walking. "And I'm not going to get cold. We have blankets and you bundled me up so much there's more winter clothes than Anna here," she teased.

Elsa followed behind, carefully filling Anna's footprints in with new snow with her own steps, leaving the snow appearing pristine and unmarked behind them. The second they were out into the main streets, she stopped and moved up to walk beside Anna instead. Though it was cold, the sun was shining and Elsa felt warm and content inside now rather than worried. Finally she could erase the last thing she felt she had stolen from her little sister. _I didn't take her memories myself, but I wish...I wish I'd spoken up. Maybe Grand Pabbie could have done something different. Maybe he could have used me to help Anna instead._

Anna was not concerned about the trip at all; with Elsa by her side and knowing Elsa would defend _her _if necessary, she would just need to protect Elsa if they ran into trouble. _We'll take care of each other. "_I just want you to know one thing. We decided we were going to ask lots of questions first, and if it's going to hurt you in any way, I don't want to do it," she said firmly. "I want my memories back, but not enough to risk you being hurt. Again. Besides, I've felt less...hazy since you thawed me. Kind of like the real memories are dreams or something."

Elsa did not answer for quite a while, making Anna unsure if she was listening. But once they were out of the hustle and bustle of the main marketplace, she finally addressed it. "I want you to have your real memories back, all of them. Please. You deserve it." Elsa's voice was quiet, but she was clearly determined. _I don't care what it costs me. _"I should have spoken up when we were little but-"

"You were a little kid," Anna interrupted. "That was _not _your fault. I don't think speaking up would've helped anyway. I mean...maybe there wasn't any other way to heal my head. We don't know. The trouble was that no one told me about your powers again afterwards. If little me had known, I probably could've filled in the gaps myself even without my actual memories I think. Anyways I shan't have you be harmed somehow trying to fix the memories. It must cost something and I don't want you paying whatever the price is."

"I don't want _you _paying whatever the price is," Elsa countered. "It was my mistake, I should pay for it anyway, you know." She looked down at her hands and then glanced at Anna. Anna just reached for her hand and kept walking, so Elsa decided not to say anything more. _I still don't want to see those trolls again, but I need to keep it together so I can protect Anna. If I don't like what Grand Pabbie tells me we have to do to help restore Anna's memories, I'm getting us out of there._

Anna kept a tight hold on Elsa's hand as they kept going. "It is and was _not _something you should pay for. Please don't think that. Or at least try not to, 'cause I know you can't help it sometimes. We're going to ask questions first. If either of us aren't satisfied by whatever we're told then we'll just turn around and go home. We won't 'pay' for anything we don't want to. I don't want you hurt and you don't want me hurt."

Elsa nodded a bit but didn't answer. Anna's memories were something dearly important to her; if she had to pay something for Anna to have them back, that would be all right with her. She let Anna hold her hand and just kept walking. _It's nice outside at least. It's sunny even if it is cold, and I made sure Anna bundled up. She is not going to freeze. We are going to have a nice trip._

Soon they reached a fork in the path and consulted their map before continuing. Anna skipped a bit ahead, her boots crunching in the snow, and turned around so she was walking backwards. She copied the hand gestures Elsa usually made when she used her magic. "You should use your magic out here! There's nobody nearby at all and it'll be fun."

Elsa tensed and glanced around nervously, worried someone might have heard Anna, but the only living things she saw were a couple of squirrels in a tree. There were no humans besides Anna and herself along the forest path at all at the moment. _I could make an ice sled and pull Anna. That would be fun. _She carefully created a sparkling sled of ice, decorated with deceivingly delicate-looking runners and then asked if Anna wanted to ride.

"You bet I do!" Anna plopped onto the sled and grinned at Elsa. "Ride with me and push us along with your magic like you told me you did when we were little!"

Elsa hesitated and bit her lip, closing her eyes. _I did that with her the very night everything was ruined. What if I hurt her again? _

_Elsa, _that _didn't hurt Anna. She was jumping from snow pile to snow pile and I couldn't keep up-I missed! I hit her. I was scared and I nearly killed her not so long ago...I panicked and exploded and hit her _again.

_She also helped you reverse your mistake. It will be okay. _Elsa opened her eyes and smiled shyly at Anna. "I, um...I don't remember how," she whispered.

"That's all right. Sit down and just _try. _We know it works just off your thoughts a lot, so just think about what you want your magic to do. You _crushed metal, _Elsa, remember? You can figure something little like this out too. You did it when you were little and your powers weren't nearly as strong as now." Anna was glad Elsa nodded and listened and sat behind her. "Can you hold onto me with your right arm? Then you won't be stressing it trying to use your magic with it a lot just yet."

"I think so. You...you watch for people. I don't want someone to see us mysteriously having a sled made of ice out here," Elsa told her. _Okay, Elsa. Just think about what you want and try it. _Elsa held out her hand, thinking about what she wanted her magic to do; it tingled happily in her fingers, ready to release when she let it.

The sled inched forward about a foot.

"Aw, Elsa, make it go fast! We can _walk _faster than that!" Anna teased. She yelped in surprise when their ice sled abruptly shot forward down the path and then began laughing. "This is great, Elsa!"

Elsa was so surprised, she tumbled off into the snow and hopped up brushing snow out of her face. _Oh. I really can do it! Next time I just have to hold on better. _She ran after the sled down the small slope in the path where Anna had stopped and climbed back on. "I will try again. I wasn't really expecting it to work _that _easily," she commented, and they were off again.

This time Anna hooked her feet into the curlicues in the runners and held on to Elsa herself. She did not want Elsa falling off again. _I don't want her hurting her arm again and I don't want her to get scared, either._

But she needn't have worried; Elsa was not scared now at all. She was genuinely enjoying herself and since she was aiming her magic in the complete opposite direction of Anna, she wasn't so worried about hurting her, either. "I can see someone around the bend at the bottom of this hill!" she called after awhile, not caring if someone saw Elsa's magic but knowing Elsa would not like it.

Elsa yelped and immediately stopped pushing them along, but they were already going downhill and gravity took over. She closed her eyes and held on to Anna hoping they would stop before reaching the person. _If I dissolve the whole sled now, we might crash! I don't want Anna to be hurt! _The next thing she knew Anna had steered them into a soft snowbank and they bailed into the cold powder. _Anna! Is Anna hurt? I'm okay, but..._

"That was fun!" Anna's happy response told Elsa the younger girl was just fine; Anna was sitting up and brushing snow out of her hair. "Are you okay too?"

Elsa nodded. Her eyes grew big when she realized the same person Anna had told her about was coming toward them, looking concerned. _The sled. That thing is ice. It is going to be suspicious. But if I dissolve it, that's going to draw even more attention and obviously be magic..._

_"_Are you okay?" the stranger called, surprised to see two girls sledding here. They appeared to be fine, just covered in snow.

"Yeah, we're fine!" Anna called back. She hopped up and tugged Elsa to her feet too. The stranger's wife was looking at their unique sled curiously.

"Did you _make _this? It's very detailed," the wife said, clearly curious.

"She did!" Anna said, pointing at Elsa. Elsa jumped in surprise and turned bright red. _Anna, why on earth would you say that? You know I don't want anyone else finding out, and...I'm scared another of the wrong person will see. Someone else like Damian._

But the woman was smiling. "You should enter the ice carving competition in the square that's happening the day after Christmas. This is incredible."

The husband added, "I like carving myself and can't make anything like this."

Elsa was stunned speechless. These people thought she had made it, yes...but by ordinary means. They had no idea she had made it in seconds with her magic. "I, um...thank you but no thank you," she blurted after an awkward moment of silence.

The two strangers didn't push it; satisfied the two girls were fine, they said their goodbyes and moved on. Anna climbed back on their sled and asked Elsa to get back on also, but she shook her head and began pulling the sled herself in ordinary fashion, no magic at all. "I want to do it this way," Elsa explained simply.

Anna shrugged. "Okay. Well, you tell me when you get tired and then I'll pull you for awhile."

"Okay."

* * *

Elsa grew tense once they started into the troll valley. Now it was dusk, and the growing darkness only made her worry grow more. _I haven't been here with Anna since we were tiny. Not since... _Memories of seeing little five-year-old Anna unconscious in their mother's arms flooded through her head. She had made Anna lose her memories. That was not fair. Now the same person-just no longer five-was walking next to her, their bags and supplies on the ice sled. It was now a wagon since the troll valley had no snow, so they didn't have to carry them.

Elsa felt very much like the scared little eight year old she had been the first time she'd come here. _Why am I like this? Just...stop it. Anna is here. We're going to ask questions and if we don't like what we hear, we're going home._

"Elsa, are you okay? If I didn't know better, I'd think you were shivering," Anna said. She stopped walking and turned Elsa to face her, her hands on the older girl's shoulders. "Tell me if we need to leave, you hear me? I don't want to be here if it's going to make you panic or something. Do you want me to talk to ol' Grand Pabbie for us?"

"I...I'll be fine. I did come here by myself before. I can do it." _What is wrong with me? I should be _less _scared than last time. _Elsa closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on calming herself down. Anna was there. She just didn't want the trolls to take Anna away from her. That was why she was scared, not the actual process of getting Anna's memories back.

Anna gave Elsa's shoulder a squeeze as they started walking again. "I know you can, but you don't need to do it alone this time, so let me help. Letting me help doesn't mean you can't handle stuff yourself. It's just gonna make it easier," she said firmly. "You said you freaked out on the way back and had to sit down for awhile. I don't want that to happen again if I can help it."

Elsa was quiet, but she nodded. _I still just don't like Anna having to help me. I'm supposed to be the one taking care of her, not the other way around, _she thought, not for the first time.

"Hey, Princess Elsa," said a voice Elsa didn't recognize immediately. The man-boy, really-that had helped her get to the Valley of the Living Rock last time was standing there, looping climbing rope into a coil. He didn't seem surprised to see her again at all. The reindeer Sven grunted. This must have meant something to Kristoff because he said, "You're right, Sven, the other one must be the sister she mentioned. Should I say anything to them?"

Sven nudged him toward the princesses with his antlers.

Anna giggled. "Hi, I'm Anna. Elsa told me all about you. Thank you for helping her before. That was really nice," she informed him. Elsa's 'nice but strange' description really did seem accurate. Anyways, he was cute and he had been kind to her big sister when she was in trouble. Anna immediately liked him. He was big, like Elsa had described him, but Anna didn't think he was any older than Elsa.

"She did?" Kristoff looked curiously at Elsa, but she only shrugged sheepishly and didn't say anything.

"Yes, I think you were Elsa's knight in shining armor, and it sounded really romantic, but she said it wasn't at all and you were very nice to her but she was just worried about talking to you right. Oh yeah, we brought you another lantern since you lent the other one to Elsa! Here it is. Do you live here?" Anna was talking fast, and she gestured excitedly as she spoke.

Elsa stood awkwardly next to Anna, her cheeks growing hot. Kristoff stared at her curiously, making her feel more uncomfortable. _Anna, why did you have to say that? _"I...I didn't mean that as an insult," she mumbled, twisting her bracelet around her wrist.

"That's okay. I don't care even if you did," Kristoff said now. He sounded amused. To Anna he said, "You sure talk a lot especially compared with El-Princess Elsa. Did you talk her ear off the entire way here?"

Sven huffed an apology for his blunt owner. Kristoff glanced at him guiltily. "Sven says I should apologize."

"Heyyy. That's not nice! You're rude for such a nice person," Anna informed him. "But I like you already 'cause you were nice to Elsa."

Elsa put a hand over mouth to stifle a giggle. Someone who knew they were the royal family but treating her and Anna like ordinary people, and not being mean or trying to harm them was new. She did not understand why or how Anna could just randomly chatter away to someone she just met, but if Anna was going to do that, then she didn't have to say anything.

"Thanks for the lantern," Kristoff said now. "I figured E-Princess Elsa would come back here sometime soon since she's got magic. But I didn't expect to meet you too, Princess Anna."

"We don't care if you just call us by our given names," Anna told him.

Elsa opened her mouth to refute that but then clamped it shut again. _It doesn't matter. I don't care at all, but I know we aren't supposed to do that. _Sven snuffled at her shoulder, and she jumped in surprise. The reindeer looked apologetic. "Do...you mind if I pet him?" she asked.

Kristoff grinned, pleased to be asked that and surprised too. The princess was not wearing gloves this time, her arm was no longer hurt, and she just seemed...a bit _different _from when he had met her those weeks before. _Her sister must help somehow. I don't know what exactly happened to them, but these two aren't just spoiled rich people. _"Don't mind at all. Do you have any carrots?" Kristoff said in his Sven voice.

Elsa shook her head no, but she gently patted Sven's nose and stroked his soft fur. Anna could talk as long as she liked; she would stand here and pet the reindeer instead. Anna smiled. She loved animals as much as Elsa did, but it seemed to her that animals did something very special for Elsa. They helped her get used to being close to live things, she could talk to them without worrying about a human's reaction if she said something 'wrong', and Anna was _very _sure being kind to new animals helped Elsa feel a little better about what had happened to that bunny years before. Elsa had not said so and Anna hadn't asked, but she was absolutely sure of it all the same. "You aren't worried about Elsa touching Sven at all," Anna said very quietly. It wasn't a question, just a statement. _The more I see him the more I like him. He's handsome and nice and he accepted Elsa immediately so I like him lots._

Kristoff shrugged. "Can't say no to her or you anyway, can I?"

"I don't think that's why you said yes. I think if you didn't trust her you'd have told her no even if she's the crown princess because you love Sven." Anna watched Elsa; she gave the reindeer a hug and then headed toward the troll boulders.

Elsa turned back and waved. "Anna, please stay there. I want to ask a few questions before y-you get any closer," she called. _I have to do this by myself for now. _"I will come back in a bit, I promise."

Anna hesitated. Elsa no longer seemed frightened, but she still didn't want to leave her alone. _I wanna talk to Kristoff too. Elsa seemed okay..._

"The trolls won't hurt her," Kristoff said. "My family might be weird and...strange, but they won't hurt you guys."

Anna frowned. "But they took my memories away and...and...and they didn't _tell _Mom and Dad separating Elsa and me was bad!" she blurted. "Wait, what? I shouldn't have said that-Elsa wouldn't want me to tell anyone even you, and-Yeah! Forget I said that."

Kristoff blinked at her, clearly unsurprised. "Are you sure you don't care if I just call you Anna?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Anna, I know those things already. After your sister came here those weeks ago, I asked Grand Pabbie some stuff. He never meant for that to happen. I delivered missives from him to the castle multiple times. They must have either gotten lost or ignored. Elsa's important. She's...rare..." Kristoff felt very awkward now. And Anna was making a face now.

"She's not just her magic, Kristoff. She has a personality besides just _the magical princess,"_ Anna said sharply. "Also you said rare. That makes it sound like there are more humans with magic like Elsa."

"Obviously! But Elsa's been...shaped by the fact that she's got magic, right? Don't you think if you guys had been raised differently, Elsa might be different too? Whatever has happened to her has made her cautious and thoughtful. Those are good qualities for a powerful mage like her. She's not been taught to be a power-hungry weapon. The bad part is that she wasn't taught how to use it until recently." Kristoff paused, now worried he'd said too much. "And yeah, she's not the only one. But natural mages are very very rare. Elsa's the only one _exactly _like her right now. There are no more ice mages alive according to Grand Pabbie. Not even less powerful ones."

Anna felt like crying. "That...that sounds like it's justifying...stuff. That happened," she mumbled. _Does this mean Pabbie didn't say anything to Mom and Dad because they _wanted _her to be hurt like that? Then why bother sending missives to try to fix things? I don't understand._

Kristoff looked guilty. "That's not what I mean. I dunno what happened to you guys, I thought you were all spoiled, no offense. But somebody was not taking care of her right, even if your family is rich and has servants and stuff. I can...tell," he said hesitantly.

Anna wondered if this was because somebody had not treated _Kristoff _right when he was little before the trolls evidently adopted him. "What did Elsa say to you?"

"Well, when I asked her why she was out traveling alone in the night, she said she didn't have anyone else to send. That's a weird comment for a rich girl to make, especially someone I knew was the princess, even if she hadn't said so." Kristoff patted Sven, who had come up behind him. "Also, I wouldn't tell Princess Elsa this, but she doesn't talk very good. Well, I guess."

"Don't say that!"

Kristoff stiffened at Anna's sudden bossy tone. Maybe that had been out of line and he shouldn't have said it even if it was true. "Sorry. I just meant that I thought it meant someone had been mean to her. Or she was really really shy." _That seems like something she should've been taught to deal with though. The princesses aren't snooty at all. Both of them are nice. Anna's just really protective of Elsa._

"I know it's true. I just don't like somebody else saying it," Anna muttered. She looked over to where Elsa had gone, but the older girl had seemingly vanished. "I really really like talking to you but I need to find Elsa. Can I talk to you some more later?" she suggested eagerly.

"Well sure, but I'll be leaving now. Traveling at night is peaceful and I'll be heading out."

"Aw, all right. We'll come back then. Thanks again for helping Elsa before. Come visit us sometime. Please," Anna said hopefully. "We like visiting the chocolate shop. You could meet us there too."

Kristoff looked uncomfortable. Anna was sweet, but she talked an awful lot and she was still one of the princesses. Probably he shouldn't hang out too much with her or Elsa. It would just get him into trouble eventually if they grew tired of him. "Maybe. Well, see you, Pr-Anna."

"Okay. Bye!"

* * *

"I need to go back a-and find Anna," Elsa said again. "You are going t' have to...s-say all this again anyway." Elsa was satisfied the procedure would not harm Anna now, but she knew Anna would want to hear everything before they went ahead with it. Also the trolls still frightened her. She wanted Anna with her. _Calm down, Elsa. It's for Anna. You can do this. And your magic being tired wouldn't be so bad. That's fine._

"Elsa! Where are you?" Anna called. Elsa turned; there was Anna running down the slope toward her. "Elsa!" Anna spotted her sitting on the ground, her knees pulled to her chest, and she plopped next to her, completely ignoring the old troll nearby. "Are you all right?"

Elsa nodded. "Grand Pabbie will t-tell you what it entails. I'm satisfied," she said softly.

Anna glanced at Pabbie. "Well, what happens? Is this going to hurt Elsa in any way?" she asked sharply. _Because if it will we are going home._

"Your childhood memories are intact, but we will need to use your sister and her memories to restore them and give you access to remember them properly," the old troll started.

Anna scowled. "I don't want to _use _her! That sounds like it'll make Elsa lose hers!" she protested.

"No, princess, it means we will be using her _magic. _This will not harm her, but it may drain her temporarily. I will not know how much until we proceed. Princess Elsa's magic is extraordinarily powerful for a human her age and size, so it might not tire her powers at all. But ordinarily doing this will simply make the mage in question very tired for a few hours up to a few days-or more, if we were dealing with a weak mage, but that is certainly not the case." Pabbie's gravelly voice was calm.

"Is it going to make her feel sick?" Anna asked, tightening her hold on Elsa, who just stayed quiet and let Anna ask her questions. _Last time Elsa overdid it with her magic it made her sick. She told me that's what happened when she was sixteen that one time and I was allowed to see her for a tiny bit. Because she couldn't use her magic and I didn't know it. I was so confused. _"And is doing this going to...traumatize her somehow? I don't want Elsa to have to relive her childhood memories somehow."

The old troll answered honestly. "Yes, she might feel ill temporarily if it drains her too much, but it is not dangerous in any way. As she should not have to see her own memories at all, I shouldn't think so, but that is something your sister will have to answer for herself. I can tell she does not feel comfortable or safe here."

"I'm fine," Elsa said quietly but firmly. "You may do as you have explained to us. Then-"

"But Elsa!" Anna interrupted, immediately putting herself between the old troll and her sister. "I don't want you to be sick! He won't promise it's not going to make you all upset, either." _Elsa has enough issues already. I shan't make it worse for her just to get my memories fixed._

Elsa sighed deeply. "He can't promise that. _I _can't promise that. But I think I'll be fine. You're here, and I want this for you. Please let's just do it. If I end up feeling sick, then I can sleep a little while before we go home. That's not going to hurt me. It is worth the small risk to me." _I want to do this for Anna, no matter what._

"Are you sure? I told you, I want my memories back, but not if it's going to hurt you. You look scared," Anna said quietly.

"I am a hundred percent sure. I'm just...normal nervous, not the...panicking kind." Elsa stood up and held Anna's hand tightly. _I want to do this before I lose my nerve. _"We're ready."

* * *

"They left alone!" Back at the castle, Gerda had grown worried when neither of the sisters had answered their doors for hours. Checking Elsa's room produced no Elsa or Anna, but the door hadn't been locked either, so she didn't think Elsa had harmed herself again. But Anna's door was locked, and it had not seemed right to just force it open immediately. After waiting several hours she told Kai, who immediately unlocked the door. The girls' carefully written note was promptly found right where they had left it.

Kai set his jaw. "Don't tell anyone they're gone. We still don't know where Damian is or if he had more supporters inside the castle. Ridiculous decisions our stubborn princesses make!" he fussed.

"This says they couldn't bring anyone because they were going to the Valley of the Living Rock to fix Miss Anna's memories..." Gerda trailed off, feeling more worried now. Though she knew little about the trolls, the idea of creatures meddling with the memories of the two girls she cared about so much scared her.

"Then, they should have waited for awhile longer. I understand why Miss Elsa would have chosen to do it now-she probably felt she needed to help fix that-but still." Kai hesitated. "I imagine the rest of us here already know they're most likely gone, because they are always together and nowhere to be found. I think I'll tell Erik to keep the guards on standby and keep a lookout for anything amiss potentially happening."

* * *

VALLEY OF THE LIVING ROCK

"You will each see the other's version of the shared childhood memories," Pabbie said now. "Princess Elsa, your magic will allow me to restore your sister's, so you will need to channel it into me and let my magic access yours temporarily. Princess Anna, all you need to do is hold her hand and mine. You might feel strange but it should not hurt."

Anna gripped Elsa's hand tightly, still feeling uncomfortable with the idea. "It's not going to hurt Elsa either, right?"

"Not as long as she is willing to allow the process."

Elsa bit her lip and held out her snowflake in her right hand. Anna was clutching the other in a death grip and didn't seem to want to let go. "How much do you need...?"

Grand Pabbie gazed impassively at her. "You need to channel pure magic. A stream of it. Your snowflake is lovely but will not provide enough power to do this."

_I need to switch hands then. _"Anna, I need my other hand now. You can hold this one," Elsa said quietly, knowing quite well her barely healed arm was _not _going to let her do that. Probably the link she made with Anna would hurt, but that was okay. She was not going to ruin this for Anna.

"That reminds me," Anna spoke up, "Elsa broke her arm before and now it's healed and she can't use her magic much with it. Is she all right?"

Elsa reluctantly let him look at her arm. The old troll promptly shook his head. "Not healed quite correctly. You would need to break it again to set it properly. It-"

"Can't you heal it for her?" Anna asked, putting an arm around Elsa's shoulders. "I don't want Elsa to go through that again!"

"It is not something my magic can fix because I can heal injuries caused by magic only. This is-was-an injury that occurred through natural causes." Pabbie sounded genuinely apologetic, and he shook his rocky head again. "I imagine traveling home again last time with it untreated did not help. I know she was injured when she came to ask how to reverse her mistake last time."

Anna remembered Elsa not going to let Dr. Raske take care of her arm until Anna had made her do it. That had been days after getting hurt; Elsa had acted like it was fine since she had put ice on it. _I should have made her do it immediately. Elsa's ice kept it still, but she couldn't set it herself, so that means she probably had it set wrong until we got it taken care of. _"I'm so sorry, Elsa. I should've made you get it taken care of _immediately."_

Elsa shrugged. "Not your fault. We're here to take care of your memories. I'm all right. I...at least I know it won't hurt you anymore if it really is messed up," she said firmly. _I don't like it, but if I concentrate on that aspect, I'm fine with it. I can write, and that is what's most important. _She took Anna's hand with her right one and held out her left instead. "I'm ready to do this."

"Wait! Won't it still hurt Elsa if we do this?" Anna demanded, her focus entirely on Pabbie.

Elsa caught the troll's glance and shook her head. _I want to do this. I don't care. _Grand Pabbie answered simply, "She will be all right with you here."

Anna looked at Elsa suspiciously, but the older girl only blinked at her with an innocent look on her face. "Okayyyyy..."

"Very well then."

The next thing Anna knew, she was inside a memory that she did not recognize as hers. _I'm not experiencing this, really. It's like I'm watching inside Elsa's head, but from the outside. It's Elsa's point of view and her thoughts...but I'm also watching her. _Her real self felt magic flooding through her, not in a painful way, but it also sensed oddly surreal too.

_"That my sister! Anna!" A tiny little Elsa with a black headband clapped her hands excitedly. "Hold Anna?" she asked hopefully._

_"No. You're too little, Elsa." The toddler Elsa looked like she might cry; she wanted to hug the baby. _Anna wished she could run into the scene and hug little three-year-old Elsa.

I want to hug her. I would be very very careful. Does she have magic like me? I love Anna. She is cute. My sister. All mine.

Anna squeezed Elsa's hand; the tiny Elsa's thoughts seemed very real...and _were _real to Elsa. She wondered what Elsa was seeing now. It also struck her that this...this was _not _a shared memory. This one was Elsa's only. A sickening feeling began in her stomach. As cute and fun as seeing her big sister as a toddler was, something inside her warned that something wasn't quite right. The sense of magic flooding through her was starting to feel _cold, _not just cool. The troll magic had seemed in control of the mixture of Pabbie's magic and Elsa's at first, but from experiencing the way Elsa's magic felt before, Anna was certain _Elsa's _magic was wresting control away from the old troll magic. _Elsa's not out of control or anything but something's not right with this. What do I do? If I pull away I might hurt both of us. I don't think she's doing that on purpose._

A series of memories of the two of them playing together flashed by at seemingly lightspeed.

I love Anna, I need to protect her.

No, I'm glad Anna doesn't have magic. She can be loved right. I have Anna so I don't mind.

Don't want Anna borrowing my dress! She gets them all dirty and ruins them. She looks awful cute though.

"Stop! Stop now!" Present-day Elsa's frantic voice scared Anna; her cold hand was shaking as she clutched Anna's. Ice crackled beneath them and across the valley. Anna flinched as a new, much different memory violently ripped the pleasant and rather amusing dress one away and burned across her own range of sight. Anna thought this little Elsa was nine or ten. After the accident, certainly; she was in her room and Anna could 'hear' her sad and frustrated thoughts.

What if I don't want to calm down? It is my room. What does it matter if there's ice all over it? _Little Elsa was enjoying herself skating around the room until she heard Anna's voice in the hall and she somehow landed wrong and fell. _Anna! I hurt Anna with my ice! I shouldn't be playing with it! Bad girl, Elsa. Very bad girl.

Anna watched the old memory grow blurry temporarily. Their father was there; he was fussing at Elsa for icing the floor, but she sensed that Elsa could no longer remember all the exact words and believed he hadn't known she had hurt her ankle since she'd been hiding it.

It snapped back into focus abruptly. _"You should be ashamed of yourself, Elsa." There was little Elsa, now trapped in her closet. She was crumpled on the floor crying._

Why, Papa? I want out! I'm a little girl too. Can't you love me too? I just want my baby sister back. I want to be a normal girl like Anna.

You can't be loved, Elsa. You're defective. You hurt Anna. _"Anna...Anna, I wish you could find me. Maybe you'd fix me...it hurts, Anna...it hurts so much..." _I want a hug. A big warm hug.

Anna thought she was going to be sick. Something wasn't right, and even if this was part of what was supposed to happen, she felt like she was violating Elsa's personal memories. This wasn't something Elsa had shared with her. What else had gone on that she hadn't shared? _I wish I could go back in time and get her out._

More memories slammed into Anna's head. Blurry ones of Elsa alone in her room. Magic mistakes. Little Elsa under her bed, ice crackling across the floor around her. Watching little Anna playing outside, happy to see her but sad too because she couldn't talk to her. Elsa's magic, tired and hurting, always aching and causing her pain because she wouldn't let it out. The one of Elsa in that dungeon cell and Anna had rescued her. This one Anna of course recognized; Elsa's thoughts and emotions matched Anna's assumptions. Older Elsa held not even a hint of dreamy ideas that anyone would ever find her; she was just hurt, angry, and scared. And when Anna found her, she was _very _surprised and relieved.

"STOP IT NOW! I...I'm going to end up hurting Anna!" Elsa screamed. She was still holding Anna's hand, not daring to yank herself free should the memories go awry. Ice spread over her own arm and up Anna's. It _hurt. _Pabbie's magic was meddling and inside her the ice protested violently. _I can't hold it back much longer! I need to either kick his magic out or calm mine down, and I can't. I don't know how! _Anna's memories had been quite nice for her to see, but now she felt like things were being ripped out of her, though she couldn't sense precisely what beyond _negative things I don't want to recall, _and it was painful. Elsa thought her head would split in two if it went on much longer.

Anna tried to speak, but unlike Elsa, she couldn't. _What are we doing?! My memories aren't worth this. Whatever is going on it's hurting her. My arm is freezing. It almost feels like Elsa has made a shell around us. It's spreading. _Anna watched the past Elsa in the memory trying to practice giving a speech to their father. She implied she would use her magic to help defend Arendelle if necessary but then was scolded for it. There was some kind of discussion that Elsa evidently couldn't remember clearly and then Elsa saying she couldn't live in there forever and she asked their father if he would knock her out so she wouldn't wake up.

Anna's right hand went to her cheek a second later. The realization slammed like a brick. _Dad slapped her. She probably doesn't really remember this, and he didn't want to hear her say those things. _Then, _I can move again. I can see real present day again. _"I...what...what _happened_?" she stuttered.

Elsa was standing next to her still, but she looked dazed and was swaying on her feet. _It's over. I think Anna is all right_. She glanced at Anna, who looked horrified. _What did Anna see? _The icy shell that had spread over their linked hands was still there. She dropped to her knees before dissolving it with her left hand. Then Anna just had her arms around her, hugging her tightly. _The memories? I hope you got them before my magic kicked the troll magic out. I can't try that again, I don't dare._

_What did Anna see? Something ripped out of me to throw Grand Pabbie's magic away from us. I want to know!_

_I'm scared to ask._

_"_Are both of you all right?" Grand Pabbie asked now. He looked startled and apologetic. "I am sorry. That was _not _supposed to happen. Elsa...your magic forced mine out. I think the procedure finished despite that, but it should not have been so...violent."

Anna ignored him and kept her focus on Elsa, who had closed her eyes and seemed to be trying to calm her magic. The ice in the valley was slowly dissolving, at least, but Anna was very sure Elsa's arm was hurting her again since she was holding it close against her chest. _Stupid trolls. No wonder Elsa doesn't like them. She yelled for Pabbie to stop and he didn't! I guess maybe he couldn't... _"Please talk to me, Elsa. Are you okay? I'm fine. I feel really weird but my memories are fine. I do remember the mushy hazy ones now. I'm just worried about you after...that."

Elsa nodded and didn't say anything. She curled up right where she was, holding her arm, her eyes screwed shut. _Little Anna's memories. Think about that, Elsa. Not yours. You have something else to concentrate on. _She felt safe right now, and while she was unsure just _what _memories Anna had seen of hers, she knew they were not good ones. The sense of loneliness and fear that felt all too fresh to her said as much. It was all muddled inside, and she had a nasty headache. _Anna is here. It's okay. _Elsa tried to say something, _anything, _to assure Anna she was okay, but the words didn't want to come. They were buried somewhere inside with the rest of her jumbled self. _I want to say I'm fine! I can't _say _anything. Is there something wrong with me? Why can't I talk? I'm not scared to talk to Anna. I know that. I can talk to her now. Can't I?_

Anna pulled away just enough to see Elsa's face. "Elsa, if you can't talk to me, can you at least open your eyes?" Instantly the older girl blinked at her, and Anna tried to smile. "Okay, so I know you're here. Good. I'm going to ask that troll what happened. Then we're getting out of here." _Grand Pabbie better not have hurt her. I know he didn't mean to, but...something went wrong and now Elsa's not talking to me, and something tells me she _wants _to talk to me and she feels like she can't._

Elsa didn't react to that; she pressed herself closer to Anna and closed her eyes again. _Whatever Anna saw didn't make her hate me, at least, and she's not hurt. I want to get out of here. I want to go home. _She tried to stand up, but Anna held on and wouldn't let her. Elsa stopped trying and just let herself relax in Anna's arms.

"What did you do to Elsa that made her magic do that?" Anna demanded. "That hurt her and you said it wouldn't!"

"Nothing, princess. That was her magic doing whatever it could to kick out the outside intrusion. I was not expecting her to be _that _powerful and be able to do something like that." Grand Pabbie was looking at Elsa with newfound respect for her power. The girl had very little direct control over it, but if she practiced more...she would be a force to be reckoned with. "She does not know much about what she can do to direct it enough. That is why it hurt her. But I believe that was her magic sensing other magic interfering and automatically attempting to defend herself. Magic innately wishes to protect its owner. Princess Elsa's defense system is much stronger than normal because of her past and the magic being linked to her emotions...and the fact that she simply is the most powerful mage I have ever seen."

Elsa glanced up at Anna. Surely hearing something like that would make Anna push her away in horror or something. But Anna hadn't even reacted; she continued holding onto Elsa tightly. She didn't even look _surprised. _

And then Anna said, "I just knew you were extra special, Elsa!" She sounded _happy. _Elsa smiled a little. _I don't understand that, but at least she doesn't hate me. I want to tell her. _The memories she had seen of little Anna made her happy. She had always, always thought things like that. Little Anna was mischievous and a troublemaker, but she didn't mean to make trouble. She wished they could go back in time and make more of the happy childhood memories. The unending fear and pain from the past faded away further. _I want to sleep. I'm not so scared of nightmares with Anna here. I'm so tired. _Elsa let Anna tug her to her feet and remained quiet. This was okay. Anna was big enough to help now. She could understand why Elsa might be sad. Little Elsa hadn't wanted to try explaining why she was sad sometimes to little Anna. Maybe she shouldn't expect her to be able to help now either. No, that wasn't right. Anna would say she liked helping.

"Will Elsa be okay once we get out of here?" Anna asked now. _Elsa doesn't seem tense though. I don't think she's unhappy right now, so whatever is bothering her has something to do with the troll magic, right? _Elsa still hadn't said a word since her screaming before, and while she was always quiet, Anna was still worried.

"Yes. She just needs to rest a little while. I am sure that process was more unpleasant for her than for me, and I must rest now." Pabbie smiled at them and then hesitated. "Be careful and safe on the way home." He rolled back into a boulder.

Anna sighed and looked closer at Elsa. She no longer appeared dazed, but she was still holding her arm and staying very close to Anna. _Do I stay here in the troll valley where it's a bit warmer or start walking back? I'm tired and Elsa _needs _to rest according to Grand Pabbie. _"Are you sure you're all right?"

Elsa nodded. She thought for a minute and then just made a tablet-sized sheet of ice in her hand, writing an etched message on it with her finger. Their second lantern besides the one they had given Kristoff sat beside them on the ground untouched, so they could still see in the dark. '_I'm fine. I do not feel scared, really, but I think the inside part of me is a bit muddled. I think I need to sleep for a little while before we start home. Is that okay?'_

Anna held the ice up to the lantern so she could read the message. _Okay that makes sense. That's why she isn't talking to me. _"Of course. Let's get out of the troll valley, though. I'll be warm enough what with all the layers you made me put on. Am I right thinking you don't want to be here anymore?"

Elsa nodded. She most definitely did _not _want to be there anymore. _I'd rather walk all the way back right now even though I feel weird than stay here. _Elsa walked with Anna to where they had left their bags, and she shook her head when Anna tried to take both. _I can still take mine._

"No, you can carry yours after we rest a bit. Come on." Anna snatched both bags and slung them over her shoulders. Then she started walking, her arm around Elsa's shoulders. "I don't know why you're not able to talk to me right now but I don't like it. I want you to be okay." _I wanna ask Elsa about those memories of hers but I better not. I'll just end up making her sad all over again._

_I don't know exactly either, but I think if I take a nap, I'll wake up and be fine. Concentrate on little Anna's memories, Elsa. _Little Anna's happiness had rubbed off on her some, and Elsa thought if she didn't have those feelings that weren't even hers to concentrate on, she would _not _be okay right now. She kept walking with Anna until they came to a large, old tree. The trunk would be wide enough for them to lean on side by side, and there was snow drifted around it enough that she could create a shelter and it would not be noticed unless someone knew it was there. Here she pulled away and created her shelter with a mix of the natural snow and her own.

"Cool!" Anna exclaimed, and scrambled inside. Elsa crawled in after her and then sealed the entrance closed with snow. They pulled blankets out of their bags, and Elsa put hers around Anna.

"Elsa, I'm literally _hot _now!" Anna exclaimed. "Keep it. You might not get cold but I know you like sleeping under a blanket."

Elsa ignored this and curled up next to her. _I will not risk her being cold. Absolutely not. I'm going to nap and then we can get going. I'll get us back quickly with a new sled. I do feel better after walking a little while. Can I talk to her now? "_I...I'm sorry," she whispered finally.

_Goody. She talked to me. _"What for? We got my memories fixed, even if it didn't go right. It hurt you, didn't it." Anna was not asking a question, just stating it.

"For...whatever I made y-you see." Elsa searched Anna's face by the light of their lantern, but Anna only looked concerned, not sad or hurt. _I just hope I didn't force her to feel _my _emotions. I didn't want to ruin the process like I did, but I couldn't help it. I guess we're lucky neither of us had our memories completely ruined._

Anna burrowed further under her blanket and pulled Elsa close. "Stop apologizing for things that aren't your fault. Just...go to sleep. I'm sure we're safe in here." She really wanted to ask Elsa about those memories, but no way did she want to risk hurting Elsa further by trying to make her talk about it when she might not have had to experience it again herself this time.

"It's cozy. Are you cold?" Elsa asked now.

"I told you no, you stinker. Just try to sleep a bit. You said that would help you feel better." Anna was very glad Elsa didn't protest further; she closed her eyes and seemed to immediately drop off to sleep. _I'm glad I can at least comfort her now, but those memories were awful. I see why she does the things she does. I might too. _Anna wanted to think she would have made a giant stink instead of just accepting things like Elsa had done, but she knew she wasn't sure now.

Anna wondered if being inside the small shelter bothered Elsa and made her think about being trapped in her closet. _No I don't think so. She said it was cozy in here and she didn't sound like she was pretending to think it. _She pulled the blankets around both of them and closed her eyes herself.

* * *

Elsa jerked awake from her dreams awhile later, first feeling puzzled and confused and then remembering everything. _I wish that that _had _been real, _she thought regretfully. Somehow her younger self had been in the closet in Anna's room-once their shared room-and Anna had yanked her out, saying she was a knight, and they had made a pillow fort. Elsa blinked in the darkness; their lantern had gone out. The pillow fort memory had been one of Anna's that she had seen, but little Anna had been rescuing her doll that looked like Elsa from the wardrobe, not Elsa herself. _I wonder if Anna saw me trapped in _my _closet. I don't even want to ask, because if I ask and she didn't see it, then she'll be angry at Dad for it. _"I think we should go home and sleep there," she mused aloud.

Anna lay curled up next to her shivering a bit despite her previous claims that she wasn't cold. Maybe she was cold now because she was sleeping. Elsa fumbled to light the lantern again in the dark and then woke Anna up. "Anna, let's go. I feel fine now and I don't want you shivering here in the cold."

Anna stretched and sat up, blinking sleepily at Elsa. "Okay. Warm bed would be nice." She leaned against Elsa's shoulder, clearly still half asleep. "You're warm. Maybe let's stay here longer."

"No. We're going home. I won't have you being cold," Elsa said firmly. She blasted a hole in the snow out of the little shelter and crawled out with their bags, waiting for Anna to follow.

Anna came with the lantern, still looking sleepy. _Must be middle of the night now. If we use Elsa's ice-sled way of traveling again, we'll easily get back before morning. _

* * *

The trip back was quiet and uneventful; Anna checked the map at every turn in the trail home, and Elsa steered their little sled. They saw no one. By sunrise Elsa had dissolved her ice sled and they started walking again since she didn't want to risk people seeing it again. "It's kinda creepy traveling at night knowing what happened to you last time, but it was fun going on a trip with you, Elsa," Anna said now. "I'm glad we came since we're both okay and we _did _get my memories back." _And I learned some things I sort of wish I hadn't but I'm also glad because maybe I can protect and understand her better._

Elsa smiled. "Me too."

"Let's get celebration chocolate on the way home. Is that okay?" Anna skipped a little and pulled Elsa along by the hand. Her own restored memories made her so happy. The stories Elsa had shared that were hazy to her were all nice and clear now. She remembered playing with Elsa in the ballroom when they were little. She remembered Elsa giggling as they played silly harmless pranks on guests in the castle.

"Yes. I think that would be very nice." Elsa didn't skip, but she was still smiling as they kept walking. _I'm so relieved Anna is okay. Fixing her memories was worth it. And I do not want to go back to see Grand Pabbie if I can help it._

"Yay!"

Once they arrived at the chocolate shop, the girls hurried in. The warmth from inside greeted them, along with Marie, who was just opening the store for the day. "Good morning. Nice to see you two again."

"Nicolette!" Daisy squealed happily. She liked the older girl's friend too, but mysterious friendly Nicolette that looked like a grownup Princess Elsa was her favorite customer. "Happy y-you came back."

Elsa knelt and gave the little girl a smile. "Me too. You...you remind m-me of my little sister," she whispered. _Wait. I shouldn't have said that. _Little Anna's memories flitted through Elsa's mind. _I missed Anna growing up. She claims I didn't because I listened for her voice outside my room and watched from the window, but... _"I need to go outside, Daisy. I'm very, very sorry."

Daisy's wide eyes darted from Elsa to Anna and back again. A sister. Was Nicolette's friend her little sister? "I do s-something wrong?" she asked hesitantly.

"No." 'Nicolette' hugged her and then whispered something to Anna, who nodded and smiled, saying okay and she would be out soon. Daisy watched her go outside and then went behind the counter again. She would ask why her customer-friend had to go so abruptly next time.

Elsa sat on a bench and just waited silently for Anna to come out. _I love Daisy but today she reminds me too much of little Anna. I didn't want to risk making a mistake in there. I will wait and then we'll go home. Almost there._

**_A/N: _Next chapter coming soon!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**I think I'm going to start trying to reply to reviews via PM but please don't be upset if I don't every chapter. I wanna at least be able to get the story up as consistently as possible for everyone.:)**

**On to the story! And into some action moving the plot along some...**

Elsa sat quietly on the bench waiting for Anna outside the chocolate shop, her eyes closed as she focused on calming her magic down and not risking making any mistakes out here, even if it was already snowy. She was still lost in her own thoughts when a strong hand snatched her by the arm off the bench and dragged her to her feet. She instantly tensed and tried to pull away, frost spreading on the already-snowy ground under her feet. _I do not want to hurt this person. I'm making mistakes right now! Thank goodness for the natural snow. __What is going on now? I want to go home. I can't handle any more complicated things today. I didn't want to see little Daisy right now. I might have made a mistake indoors. She reminds me of little Anna, and- _Elsa shuddered and tried to think. The person was in her space and hurting her arm and she wanted to be left alone. He was talking. She didn't want to hear it. _Go away. Go away now._

_I told Anna to go away so much. That is _different, _and you know it! You need to listen so you can get away, get Anna, and go home. This is what Kai and Anna made you practice for. _Elsa yanked harder attempting to pull herself free.

"Hey," the person hissed, prodding her in the back with a gun. "What else is wrong with you besides that cursed magic? You listen. Pay attention. You are going to come with me to-"

"Damian," Elsa said to herself suddenly. She was sure of it. Why on _earth _was he here now of all times, and how did he know she and Anna were outside the gates alone? Someone had to have told him; it was too coincidental. They should not have left alone until he was caught. _And_ why _would he not just kill me? It would have been easy! I wasn't even paying attention to anything around me. Oh Anna, _please _stay in the chocolate shop with Daisy. Please. _Elsa felt her magic tingling in her fingers as Damian pulled her out into the middle of the street. It wanted out. How could she get away on her own? If she screamed, she would have Anna running out and get herself shot besides. She tried pulling free again but couldn't. "Let me go."

"Look up. You make one move against me, my men on the roofs will shoot one of these people. You make one move against them, and I'll shoot you," Damian hissed quietly. "Whatever you can do with that ice of yours, you can't disarm multiple people before I shoot."

_What? If all he wants is to somehow...prove I'm a witch or something, why threaten to hurt my people? _Elsa shook her head slightly at a middle-aged couple asking if she was okay and mouthed, _I'm fine. _They clearly didn't believe her and kept watching as they not-so-subtly pulled another passerby aside and started talking to them, gesturing like they wanted to help. She tried her best to stop shaking and look as if she were not terrified. _I won't let these people be hurt. I promised Anna I wouldn't go without a fight. Why is this happening now when we were so close to getting home safely?_

_Don't think about whys or hows now. Get these people out of harm's way, Elsa. If you get them to safety, Damian won't have them to use against you. Then you can focus on helping yourself. Think about why and how this is happening later. Use conceal don't feel mode. Do not look at the chocolate shop. Don't. Do not attract his attention to it. _Elsa hesitated. Every moment she waited to act was another moment Damian could use against her. No one was going to listen to a random girl telling them to go indoors, but they might obey the crown princess. _If I can speak up..._

An important realization struck her. _I would rather reveal myself than him reveal me._

_"_You're not alone. Where's Princess Anna?" Damian demanded. "What have you done with her?" He spoke quietly so no one else could hear his words.

"She is safe." Elsa's voice was flat and neutral. _I will not let him realize where Anna is. I won't. _She reached up with a trembling hand and yanked the hood of her cloak down, revealing her distinctive platinum hair. _Okay, Elsa. Now. Say it now._

The couple that had asked if she needed help and the person they were speaking to stared at her in shock. Clearly they recognized her.

_"_What are you-" Damian sounded startled and worried now.

_I can do this. _"Shut up," she ordered quietly. Elsa stopped struggling, took a deep breath, and then shouted clearly, "You are in danger! I am Princess Elsa of Arendelle, and I ORDER YOU ALL TO GET INDOORS! Immediately!" _Please listen. Please. _It took a few seemingly endless moments for more people to stare at her and Damian and begin to realize what was happening, and Elsa forced herself to remain still. Damian himself seemed shocked at her reaction and was shifting nervously behind her as if he were not sure what to do now, still gripping her arm so tightly it hurt. There was no way she was strong enough to force him to release her. _Ignore it, Elsa. Make them listen to you. They can see there is trouble. Look like you know what you are doing even if you don't._

People began to process exactly what was going on and started running into their homes or whatever shop they were nearest to. One man pulled a gun and aimed it at Damian. "Let Princess Elsa go!" he yelled.

"Drop it or I'll kill her right now!" Damian pulled Elsa completely in front of himself so the man couldn't aim without risking hitting Elsa.

The man looked at Elsa, wondering what to do. Why on earth would the missing princess no one had seen for years be out here alone, and why _hadn't _this man killed her already if that was what he wanted to do? Was she hiding something he wanted to expose? In any event he did not want her dying.

Elsa caught the man's eyes and flicked her gaze to the roofs and back again. _You're in danger. Please notice. _"Please go indoors," she said after a moment. "Drop it a-and go." _If you don't you might die and I will too._ Elsa felt the horrible knot of fear in her stomach dispel a little the second he nodded abruptly and dropped the weapon, backing behind a cart out of sight.

They had _listened. _They had listened to her. They had recognized her and they had not questioned or ignored her.

_Just me in danger doesn't scare me. Now I need to figure out how to help myself._

_My magic. Anna would tell me to use it. Can I do that? Is it okay?_

The four men Elsa saw on the roofs shifted position, waiting for a signal from Damian. None of them had been prepared for the mysterious horrible cursed princess Damian had warned them about to reveal herself on purpose, not in a million years. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. She hadn't reacted the way Damian said she would. Damian had not signaled for them to shoot that man that had tried to interfere either.

Damian squeezed Elsa's arm harder and practically growled at her. "What are you _doing_? Don't think the citizens listening to you means they'll accept you once they find out what-"

"I don't," Elsa interrupted, surprising herself more than Damian this time. She did not expect her people to accept her; she just wanted them safe. Elsa could see a lot of people peeking out windows, looking concerned and scared. _If I use my magic now, _everyone _will know for sure. Everyone. I won't be able to undo that, and I think Damian _wants _me to__. Anna, what do I do? What do I do now? I don't want you to come out here but...I need you to tell me what to do!_

_You can just make yourself too cold to touch if somebody ever grabs you and you don't know what to do or they're too strong or something. No one will see that, _Anna's encouraging voice seemed to say. _You broke those shackles. You can do this. _Elsa closed her eyes and willed her skin to become deathly cold all over.

Damian let out a surprised yelp just as Elsa opened her eyes when she heard a small voice she recognized.

"P'incess Elsa! I-I knew it!" Daisy exclaimed. The four-year-old was running toward her. _No. No no no, please no. _Elsa glanced toward the rooftops just as Damian jumped back and threw Elsa's arm down as if she had burned him.

Elsa spotted the crossbow bolt headed straight for her little friend and threw up an ice wall on instinct in front of Daisy to protect her not a second too soon. Daisy screamed and for a moment Elsa thought she had been hit, either by her ice or the bolt. But the little girl was _angry. _She was yelling and screaming and crying for help and for the bad men to stop hurting the princess. People began pouring back out of the buildings. She spotted Anna behind the ice wall with Daisy, looking horrified. No one else seemed to have recognized or seen Anna yet. _Anna go inside! Please._

Elsa stood still, feeling shocked. _I need to do something else. Go back inside, people!_

_...I need to neutralize those men on the roofs before someone gets hurt. Especially Anna. "_Everyone, _go back indoors_! I...I understand if you do not trust me after s-seeing what I did, but GET BACK INSIDE! Immediately!" Elsa's sincere words made most people stop short and do as she said. _Okay that is all I can do. Disarm those men now. It is to protect others, so it's definitely fine._

Time seemed to slow down to her as a bolt of magic shot one man's crossbow out of his hand and clear to the fjord.

Two. The second crossbow clattered off the roof to the ground.

Three. The third missed the weapon slightly and knocked its owner over instead from the force hitting his arm. The man landed with a dull thud. Elsa cringed. _Did I kill him? What do I-no. No Elsa, think about that in a second. Get rid of the last one. This is for all of these people. Anna would want you to. _She took a deep breath and readied herself to do the same one last time.

A shot rang out, and Elsa immediately collapsed. Something was burning, burning all over. She needed to do something else. Something she wasn't finished with. Protect Anna. Was it that? No, Anna was screeching something. Her little sister wasn't hurt; it was herself. _Stop it, Elsa! You need to think clearly! Be shocked and disoriented later._

"That man shot Elsa!" Anna screeched. "I'm gonna kill him. I swear, he's gonna be sorry he was ever _born_!"

_Disarming the last one on the roof, Elsa. Do that. Now. _Elsa looked up where she had last seen the person. He was scrambling down now, having seen Anna finally because she was yelling and figuring out how to get out from behind Elsa's ice wall. She lifted a shaky hand and instantly he was pinned to the side of the building with icicles, none hurting him but leaving him unable to get free. The other two she'd already disarmed were on the ground now, looking disturbed and ready to flee the scene. This was not what they'd signed up for.

_They're going to get away. Do something about it. _She remembered the cage she had made around herself Anna had hated so much. She could do that. It was simple and would not harm these bad men.

One ice cage.

Two.

Anna continued yelling but the words were indistinct to Elsa now. She would focus on one thing at a time. Anna was behind the ice barrier with Daisy, angry but unharmed. That was fine.

A young girl with dark hair and sharp eyes glanced at her and then ran to one of the men. Elsa didn't try to stand up as she turned her gaze toward traitorous Damian. Now that her people were safe from those men, maybe she could do something for herself. He looked horrified and...a little scared now. Of her. _I must be imagining things_. _I'm not even scared now. Just hurt. I don't think anyone else was hit. _"Never target my people again," she spat darkly, her blue eyes sharp.

Anna finally just shoved reluctant little Daisy back inside the shop and then squeezed between the edge of the icy barrier and the building. Where was Elsa? She needed to find her sister and take her away from here. Anna tripped over a loose stone on the street and fell; then scrambled up and pushed between people to get to Elsa. Several people were shouting and blocking Damian from Elsa themselves now. A bloody knife lay on the ground near Elsa; she recognized it as one of the sharp kitchen ones from the castle. Elsa must have stabbed Damian with it but then dropped it. _What do I do? I don't even know! I don't know what to do. Elsa, I'm so sorry. At least she actually did something. She tried to defend herself too. Good. _Anna gathered Elsa into her arms and just held her tightly. _I gotta get us out of here. Looks like Elsa already neutralized everyone but Damian, but... _"Don't you touch her again!" Anna yelled.

"The elder princess is a witch!" Damian announced loudly. "You all saw what she did! She deserves to die!" He was stumbling now and grabbing at his legs where Elsa's clumsy stabbing attempts had hit him.

Another man Anna didn't know stepped out from where he had been hidden behind his goods cart. "I saw the princess save a child and her people!" he shouted above the din. "If anyone should die it's you for shooting her! She didn't do anything wrong!"

A woman shouted from an open window, "Princess Elsa is innocent! Strange magic or not, she saved that child and us too! From you!"

"If she's dead you just killed one of the royal family for _no reason_!"

"What reason could there be?! There's never a reason for that! It's Princess Elsa's right to take the throne!"

"That power she has proves her right besides!"

"She should sentence you to death!"

"If she doesn't I'll kill him for her!"

Elsa felt Anna's warm hand on her cheek, trying to rouse her. She didn't say anything, but she opened her eyes partway and smiled at Anna. _I hear people _defending _me. What? I must be imagining it._

_No. No, you are not imagining it, Elsa! They don't care! Just like Anna said!_

_These people must have run to help when they realized she was actually hit and that creep didn't miss. Well then. _"You defended yourself, Elsa. I'm so glad," Anna whispered in her ear. She glanced around, clutching Elsa close, but Damian was not paying attention to Elsa any longer, not that any of the people around them would have let him near her anyway. Obviously he thought his mission was done. Anna was disgusted and she hoped their angry citizens killed him, even if that seemed morbid.

"I...tried," Elsa said faintly. _Wait. Anna. I don't want her to get hurt too! _She struggled weakly, trying to push Anna away. "Please, I...I don't want...you hurt too. Go inside."

Anna watched as more people poured out of their homes and shops and surrounded their two princesses further. "I won't get hurt, Elsa! Damian's the one in danger now," she said matter-of-factly. Damian may have succeeded in stirring up the people, but not the way he had hoped. They were all clearly angry...with _him_! Anna spotted Kristoff in the entrance to the alley and caught his eyes. _Get help from the castle! _she motioned to him.

Kristoff seemed puzzled for a moment before understanding and giving her a nod. He took off with Sven. _I didn't see what all happened, but I don't want them hurt either. I'll get help._

Anna tried her best to ignore the growing blood puddle beneath Elsa, but it was scaring her. This was not Elsa's fault this time, but that didn't make the idea of potentially losing her sister hurt any less. _I need to get Elsa help fast. She's teeny, it can't possibly be okay for her to be losing this much. _She picked half-conscious Elsa up and stumbled back to the chocolate shop and Elsa's barrier. "Elsa, can you dissolve the barrier? I can't get through here carrying you." Maybe Marie could help until they could get back home.

"...O...okay." Elsa had decided she would just trust Anna. If Anna was right about Damian then dissolving the barrier was safe. She dissolved it and just concentrated on the fact that Anna was _not _hurt, and Anna had gotten her out of there. _I don't know what Anna is doing but I...I am just going to trust her._

The same couple that had tried to ask Elsa if she was fine earlier, before she had revealed herself as the princess, quickly opened the door for them and then stood in front of the entrance.

"Is she..." Marie trailed off hesitantly when she saw Anna come in carrying Elsa.

"Elsa's alive," Anna assured her, "but she's bleeding a lot and I don't know what to do-I mean obviously I've hurt myself before, but not _shot, _and...yeah. Can you help? Please? We'll pay you for it, I just, I just don't know what to do right now, I certainly can't carry her all the way home with everything being crazy, and what if there are _more _creeps in the castle...sorry. Sorry I'm listening."

"I was just saying you can just take Princess Elsa upstairs to where we actually live until it's safe. If you would like, of course, your highness," Marie said quickly.

Anna nodded. Elsa's uneven breaths on her neck only assured her Elsa was alive, not that she was okay. She followed Marie and worried-looking Daisy up a narrow flight of stairs. Marie instructed Daisy to get their old blankets and then wait in the bedroom. The little girl obeyed. Loud voices from outside told them that there was still drama going on even though Anna and Elsa were no longer there. Anna scrunched her eyes shut and laid Elsa as gently as she could on the old blankets spread on Marie's floor.

"Try to help her lay on her side so we can put pressure on that wound," Marie said softly. "I...I'm so sorry. I had no idea you two were the princesses. Daisy thought Nicolette was Princess Elsa and I didn't believe her." She had the princesses in her home and one of them might be _dying, _and she had seen them multiple times before and had no idea who they were. No wonder Elsa was so shy and reserved; she had obviously been isolated from people in an effort to hide the ice magic they had all just seen her use to protect Daisy and neutralize those men!

"That's okay. We didn't _want _to be recognized." Anna tugged Elsa onto her side; the older girl made a pained noise but didn't resist. "Elsa? Can you hear me?"

Elsa nodded slightly, her fingers clutching at Anna's arm. "I...I'm not scared anymore. It just hurts. A lot," she whispered. _And I feel dizzy. Where am I? I smell chocolate. Did Anna take me back in the shop? Or am I just imagining things and it's been longer than I think, and she took me home? No, we're in the shop. Where is Daisy? I don't want to scare her._

Anna was so glad to hear Elsa's voice she started crying again. "We're in Marie's flat. Over the chocolate shop. She's helping us until we can get home safely. Okay?" She squeezed Elsa's hand, and Elsa squeezed back, though she didn't say anything else. _Well, Elsa's really hurting, and she might be feeling weird from losing all that blood. At least she's not freaking out. And she did use her magic to protect everyone! _Anna pressed the cloths Marie handed her against Elsa's back and held Elsa's hand with her free hand.

Elsa stayed silent but held onto Anna's hand tightly. She did not cry. This was not something to cry over to her; she was safe and most of all, _all_ _those people outside had stood up for her even after seeing her magic. _Elsa felt as if the weight of the world had lifted from her shoulders. _If I survive this, I won't need to worry so much anymore about doing my job. I will still worry about doing a good job, but...in the normal way... _"Thank...thank you."

"Me or Marie?"

"All." Elsa's simple one-word reply said a lot to both Anna and Marie. _I'm okay. I don't have any idea how serious this is, but...I'm okay._

* * *

A sharp knock downstairs after a few long minutes brought a very worried Dr. Raske upstairs. Marie's husband stayed down in the shop guarding the door to his family's business with Erik; Kristoff stood awkwardly in a corner waiting as Erik had ordered him to.

Upstairs Dr. Raske immediately tended to Elsa, who didn't resist but was clearly unhappy and uncomfortable with letting him touch her back. When she had hurt her arm that was bad enough. Elsa lay there quietly but gripped her little sister's hand so tightly it hurt. Anna gently stroked Elsa's hair both to distract her from the pain and keep her calm.

"This...isn't a normal bullet," Dr. Raske said, squinting at the thing he'd extracted from the wound. "It's almost as if there's some kind of...static electricity or something in it? Odd..." He set it aside and went back to tending Elsa.

Elsa closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on thinking of something else. _I protected my people and I defended myself, too. Obviously not well enough, but I didn't just...do nothing! And I have Anna here with me. She sounded proud that I actually tried._

_...My magic feels odd, as if it's not focused on my back anymore. _Elsa realized she had been feeling like her ice was inwardly fighting something right where Damian's shot had hit her; now she just felt what she considered normal pain, not her magic doing things to her that she didn't understand.

_"_It looks like it has magic in it," Anna muttered. "Why would Damian use something magic to shoot Elsa when magic is what he hates? And where'd he get it?" The yellowish sparks in Damian's bullet reminded Anna of the blue sparks in Elsa's blood. _In fact, _Anna realized, disturbing herself as she cringed looking at the horrible marks on her sister's back, _it almost looks like Elsa's magic tried to help her. The blue sparks are all clustered up. _"Dr. Raske, is Elsa's spine okay? Like, inside?" she asked now.

"I don't know, princess. There's no broken bones, at least."

Elsa felt oddly light, as if her magic had completely relaxed and all of her could relax now. She abruptly jerked completely awake when she sensed something..._off _magic-wise nearby. "Give me...that bullet," she whispered urgently. "Now!"

Anna did, and Elsa's ice instantly encased it. The thing seemed to be attempting to explode or release something within its ice casing, but it didn't break Elsa's ice. _Damian really was trying to kill her but make it look like he'd done some heroic thing. Why would he use something magic though? And _how? _This must mean there's someone or something else out there with magic like Elsa. Someone bad._

Elsa tensed and scrunched her eyes shut, sensing the outside magic she didn't recognize nearby. It was neutralized now, but what if whatever had created _that _bullet had made more? _That's bad. I don't even know whether to believe it. It's probably just a new kind of weapon or something. What do I do? What does _Anna _do if something happens to me?_

_And what if Damian got help from Weselton? Those crossbows make me think he did. That is a popular weapon there._

* * *

"Princess Anna, you can't go home right now, especially with your sister in this condition," Erik said quietly a little while later, standing in the doorway.

Anna frowned. "What do you mean? Dr. Raske took care of her. He said she's stable now. That's good, right?"

"It's not that. I don't think this is over, princess. With all the chaos out there, Damian has conveniently disappeared again, despite the guard details I sent out and seemingly all your citizens helping look also. Someone is helping him. He did leave a blood trail though, so we should locate him quickly. You said Princess Elsa had injured him enough that he was stumbling around. The four accomplices she neutralized can't be all of his supporters. Someone else had to have alerted him that you two were outside the castle walls alone, someone on the inside. I'm not certain I understand why that happened in the first place, but what's done is done." Erik glanced at Elsa, who seemed to be listening now. "You can't do a repeat performance of today for a long while, and you can't recover safely with only a few completely trusted people to protect you. It's not like there have been any new staff hired for over a decade, so it must be someone else all of us have mistakenly trusted for years."

"I need to...get us out of Arendelle temporarily." Elsa's soft, tired voice concerned Anna, but at least she seemed to be thinking clearly. _Corona. We go to Corona. Uncle Thomas and Aunt Primrose would hide us. I think._

Erik nodded in agreement. "If you trust Kai to take care of things for awhile and allow me to do a bit of...questioning, you and Princess Anna could go stay in Corona with your relatives. I believe you would be safer there for the time being. They could protect and hide you two if necessary."

"A long trip isn't advisable, but..." Dr. Raske trailed off, knowing quite well his patient's chances were much better somewhere she would not have to have three sixty vision 24/7. Besides, if Elsa went to Corona, then she would not be trying to do work while she was there because there would be none for her to do.

"I'll deal," Elsa said as firmly as she could, glad Erik had voiced her own idea. _That validates it, I think._ She gave Marie a grateful look. "Thank you for helping us. Please tell Daisy we're fine."

"Of course. I'll be in the other room with Daisy." Marie dipped her head and left, hoping that was the right thing to do.

"I have a friend who's the captain of a merchant ship. I've been worried something might happen eventually and you'd need a way to leave the country discreetly, so I asked him if something should happen, could he escort our princesses to safety? He will take you to Corona or wherever else you might decide no questions asked," Erik told them. "That strange friend of yours, Kristoff, can take you to the pier hidden in his wagon. He's waiting downstairs if you're willing to go. If not, I shall send him on his way for you and we will do our best to get you home safely."

"We don't really have any supplies with us for a long trip," Anna pointed out; then scowled. _Why am I worried at _all _about packing for a trip when Elsa is lying here and can't even really sit up at the moment? Bad me. Bad, bad me._

"He can drop us with Erik's friend and...Gerda can bring us...supplies before we sail," Elsa suggested. _It can't be a lot or it will appear suspicious. We'll have to just travel light and buy whatever we might need upon arrival, I don't know. _She tried to sit up, but Anna quickly held her still and she didn't resist. Trying to move hurt worse and she still just felt off inside. _I just want to go home. I have to keep Anna safe though. Erik is right; it's not safe here right now. And every minute we stay here, we're putting Marie and her family in danger if someone bad realizes we're in here._

"Perfect plan!" Anna exclaimed, still clutching Elsa's hand tightly.

"An official announcement. We need something official that...that leaves Kai in charge temporarily until we return," Elsa said now. "I want him protected as if he were one of us."

"Okay, I'll write it. I know how now. You showed me, Elsa," Anna informed her. "Then you can just sign it."

Elsa blinked and nodded. Yes, Anna could do that. _Stay awake, Elsa. So you can't get up, fine. Keep it together. _Elsa felt out of control unable to actually _do _anything right now resting on one of her citizens' _floor _in a home she didn't know. Not magic-wise, just people attempting to make choices for her and feeling unsure what to do. How could she keep Anna and herself safe? What if they left and then someone attacked Arendelle? Then what? What if this was a ploy of some kind beyond just attempted assassination of the princess with the magic? Of course, Elsa also supposed no one would do that if they thought she was out of the way. After today, Elsa _knew _her powers could help protect others. She had seen it. _If only I had known what I was doing, or just...reacted faster. I was slow. _The experience of seeing little Anna's memories at the Valley of the Living Rock was still all too fresh in her mind, and she dearly wanted peace and quiet. Not more drama. She had had quite enough drama.

_There is going to be drama permanently because of what I did._

_Anna knows _my _memories. I'm...embarrassed. I know she would never tell anyone, but... _Knowing that her little sister had seen her major childhood memories so Pabbie could restore Anna's own disturbed her to the core. Elsa wondered if she had said or thought anything bad to make Anna disappointed in her. Which bad post-accident memories had Anna seen? She wished she could just crawl under her bed and hide the way she had when she had been small enough to do so.

And Elsa felt she was in way over her head. Revealing her magic in a situation like that was not something she had ever even considered happening. At least everyone-or almost everyone-had reacted just the way Anna had said they would.

_What are Uncle Thomas and Aunt Primrose going to say if Anna and I just show up in Corona? Is that okay? I'm scared of leaving Arendelle and right now I'm scared to stay._

_I can't die. I'll make Anna sad, and I won't leave her with this mess to clean up. _Elsa did not feel at all like she was panicking, but she did feel far away and detached from what was going on, as if she were an observer rather than experiencing it, and her thoughts raced from one thing to another even though she also felt sluggish and slow. Anna was there, and Anna was talking to her now.

_I'm supposed to respond. What did Anna say?_

"-sign this, Elsa?" Anna asked her now. "Please?"

_Sign what? Oh. Oh yes. We were going to make something official and now Anna has written it and I didn't. Wake up, Elsa. Pay attention. _Elsa blinked at Anna. "I...want to read it."

"'Kay. I'll read it to you." Anna kept her voice light so Elsa wouldn't worry any more than she already was, but these were _not _the circumstances Anna had imagined for their trip to Corona. Sure, their aunt and uncle had answered her personal letters saying they were happy to have their nieces visit anytime, no warning necessary, but still. If she and Elsa went alone to avoid attention and the fact that she really trusted no guards except Erik at this point, who needed to stay to help find information about the mole, how the heck was she supposed to take care of Elsa on the way? And was it safe? Elsa _had _used her magic to defend others, and she had used an ordinary weapon to defend herself, but she had still ended up badly hurt. _Is Elsa...okay? I mean obviously she's not really okay, she's been shot, but...I hope she is _going _to be okay. _Elsa not insisting on getting up and claiming she was fine scared her, even though she definitely didn't want Elsa to do that. There had to be something badly wrong simply because stubborn Elsa _wasn't_ doing that.

Elsa was satisfied by Anna's simple straightforward message, so she asked Anna for the pen and signed her name with Anna's help. Propped up in Anna's arms, she felt a little bit more like herself. _Okay. First things first. Daisy. _"Is Daisy all right?"

"She's fine, Elsa," Anna assured her.

Daisy's little voice from the other room insisting she knew all the time that it was Princess Elsa coming to visit told all of them that Anna was right.

"Everyone else. Was _anyone _else shot?" Elsa asked next.

"No. You protected them yourself," Erik said flatly. "All four of the men you neutralized have been apprehended, though your ice is taking a very long time to chip them out and throw them in the dungeon. One claims to be a mercenary and offered information in exchange for escaping the death sentence. I took the liberty of saying I was sure the queen would grant that, since we all know you would, and he immediately said we needed to look for a young girl with dark hair and green eyes. Said she was around eight. I think he may have been making this up, but there's no way to know for sure."

_The magic source Damian's bullet was from, _Elsa thought immediately. _Could he be using a child? But why? Why, when he wants to kill me because of magic? _Elsa looked up at Anna, who just kept still and held her securely.

_Elsa's trusting me to help her figure this out. We shouldn't have done our trip to the troll valley by ourselves. Actually that's not the problem. I asked her if she would get celebratory chocolate with me on the way home and I knew she was upset seeing Daisy and I let her go outside by herself anyway because she said she'd be fine. Well she would have been fine but...I still shouldn't have let her go by herself all the same. She probably got targeted right then because she was alone and upset. This...this is my fault! _Anna bit her lip and held Elsa tighter. She would apologize and talk to Elsa later when they could be by themselves again. "Let's go, unless Elsa says no. I wanna do whatever we can to keep her safe."

* * *

AN HOUR LATER...

"Um...I'm supposed to say, I have a delivery of ice and sunflowers for the captain," Kristoff said somewhat awkwardly.

Anna and Elsa hidden under Kristoff's hay in his wagon cringed at that delivery of Erik's instructed message. Kristoff _was _supposed to say that; but he was supposed to act nonchalant as if he really were dropping off a normal delivery, not helping the princesses get onto the ship unnoticed. "Are you okay?" Anna whispered to Elsa.

Elsa didn't answer but squeezed Anna's hand. _I'm fine. Please be quiet. I'm scared this won't work. If someone finds us... _She closed her eyes, feeling as if her world were sliding out of control. What if their ship sank? What if someone realized Erik was friends with this captain and that got him into trouble? What if Kristoff got into trouble?

They heard muffled voices nearby and felt hay around them being moved aside. Elsa stiffened and Anna felt Elsa's hand grow cold. _Elsa's scared. She's been holding it together but she's scared. And hurting. _Elsa not making a fuss about letting Anna carry her down the stairs at the chocolate shop had frightened _Anna. _Not that Anna wanted her to try, but it didn't seem like Elsa to not insist on trying herself. Anna blinked at the sudden sunlight and looked at Elsa. Elsa gave her a tired smile but didn't say anything.

"Hey, this captain dude wanted me to give you this," Kristoff said now, handing a folded paper sealed with wax to Elsa. "He said I should give you this so you'd know he's legit."

"Thank you." Elsa opened the paper and showed Anna; it was just a short letter from Erik saying the exact same things he had told them earlier, with the addition that both he and his captain friend would consider their lives forfeit if either betrayed the royal family. _Okay. I need to make sure Anna has everything she needs. I won't be able to take care of her myself. I know Gerda is supposed to come with us after Erik tells her what's happened...And Daisy's family. I don't want them hurt. _"Kristoff, may I ask you a favor? Please?"

Kristoff stared at her. "Well, yeah. You're a princess. Or queen. I don't know what you are but yeah."

"I'd like you to...keep an eye on the chocolate shop. Especially l-little Daisy. Please. I would appreciate it so much." Elsa had seen enough of Kristoff to know he was a good person and would protect others if they were in danger, even if he pretended he didn't care about anyone but Sven. _Also, he likes Anna. I am sure of it._

"Sure, Sven and I can do that, won't we, Sven?" Kristoff asked.

Sven grunted affirmatively, making Anna smile as she carefully picked Elsa up. Elsa winced but stayed quiet. "I'm sorry, Elsa," Anna whispered. She glanced around, but no one was paying them any mind. "Your hair," she added quickly.

Elsa tugged her hood back over her hair and kept it on until she and Anna were safely hidden belowdecks in the cargo hold. It was dim and a bit damp, but it was obvious someone had prepared a place for them to hide. One large crate was empty and lined with blankets and pillows, and some non-perishable foodstuffs were packed into one side as well. Elsa was very, very glad she had Anna with her; staying in this dim, damp place reminded her of the castle dungeon and she wished she could bolt. _Anna is here. It will be okay._

"I know it's not much, but if I give you one of my few cabins now, you'll be easy to find if the cabins are searched before we can leave. I'm sorry. We count cargo every day in the morning and evening at 8. Pull the crate closed then. The second the ship is underway, you're welcome to any cabin of your choosing of course." The captain seemed surprised when both of his important stowaways appeared nonplussed by the idea of hiding in a crate temporarily.

"Thanks. We'll be fine," Anna said firmly. "Tell Kristoff we said thank you. Please let us know when Gerda gets here."

"Of course, Princess Anna."

"Anna, tell him to ask Erik to have...the royal carriage sent...out. Stop at the chocolate shop. Return to the castle." Elsa spoke barely louder than a whisper, but her mind was racing. Certainly people had seen her and Anna go into the shop. Now they needed to make it appear they had returned home. With Kai in charge, people would just assume he was taking care of things until she recovered from whatever injuries she'd sustained. That would get to whoever the mole was and Damian would not look for them in Corona or target the captain. Hopefully. Damian didn't _want _to kill others besides her; he just had targeted others to get to her. Therefore most likely he would simply wait for a better opportunity to just take her out. _And if we're lucky Erik and the loyal guards will find him before that._

"Ohhhh. Good idea Elsa." Anna relayed Elsa's message.

The captain chuckled despite himself. "I knew I liked you two. A sound plan, sounds like. I will do as you have said, of course."

"Thank you."

* * *

Soon Anna had gotten Elsa settled resting on her side inside their small hideout and crawled in next to her. "It's kind of like a mini fort and we're camping out, don't you think?" Anna said a little too brightly. _Wait. Something's wrong. Elsa's upset. _"Elsa, what's the matter? Do you want the medicine Dr. Raske gave me to give you?"

The tiny snowflakes floating around Elsa made Anna quite sure that the older girl was upset. Elsa's eyes were closed and she had tears trickling down her cheeks. _I don't like this. It hurts and I feel trapped in here and I'm scared and I know I can't get out of here by myself even if I wanted to. _"No, I...I just...I don't like it down here," she whispered. "It's...it scares me. It's not like our...our s-snow shelter."

Anna was quite sure she understood exactly what Elsa meant. _The stupid dungeon. Being stuck down here reminds her of it, and she probably doesn't like being on a ship like this after what happened to Mom and Dad. I don't like it either. _"We're not trapped down here. We're just staying hidden 'til probably late tonight or early tomorrow when Gerda gets here," she pointed out. "It doesn't take long to get to Corona, just a few days. Maybe you'll feel better by then and we'll just have a nice vacation assuming we don't get stuck in some storm or something since it's winter and stuff."

Elsa hesitated, unsure whether to tell Anna the other thing that was bothering her. _If I tell, Anna might be scared, and if I'm wrong and it's nothing, I'll be concerning her for no reason. _"I don't...I don't think I'm going to feel better in a few days," she said finally.

"...I'm glad you're admitting you don't feel well, but that doesn't sound like you. Usually you go and say, I'm fine, even when you clearly aren't," Anna said suspiciously. "I _definitely _don't object to you not doing that but something's not right. What's wrong, Elsa? You didn't even protest 'cause I was carrying you and people saw, not a word. Are...are you really hurting that bad? 'Cause if you are I'm going to give you some of that pain medicine whether you want it or not." Anna scrunched herself closer to Elsa and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. _Please just tell me. Please. I'm not going to leave you for whatever it is. Those horrible memories and now this happens._

_I'm going to have to tell her eventually. _"I can't walk." Elsa's quiet voice was calm and matter-of-fact. She didn't look at Anna; she just stared past her at the side of their small hideout. "I did not want to cause more of a fuss and still don't. So keep it to yourself or kill me." Elsa flinched as Anna's nails dug into her arm and the younger girl tried to jump up...and promptly banged her head on the crate overhead instead.

"Ow!" Anna rubbed her head and began talking quickly in an angry whisper. _I guess I thought it was something like that already and just didn't want to think it, but...Elsa! _"Don't you dare suggest I kill you just because you're hurt! I am going to find that Damian and kill _him, _I just-"

"Anna," Elsa interrupted. "Anna, please listen to me. Please. I'm so _scared _right now, I...I can't deal by myself. I'm more scared of...being stuck in here and not being able to...get out than of being injured like this." _The fussing isn't helpful. I have got to calm down. Elsa, get it together. Get it together now. You have Anna right here. _Elsa relaxed a little when Anna settled down and wrapped her in a warm hug. _I'm not alone, and this is not the dungeon. Or that closet. It's okay._

"Why didn't you tell Dr. Raske about this?" Anna asked hesitantly.

"Because he can't fix that anyway. You just have to...wait and hope, and probably nothing changes, or if it d-does, it takes a very long time." Elsa sighed and closed her eyes. _I have Anna here. I'll be fine._

Anna felt even more guilty about letting Elsa go outside the chocolate shop by herself than she had already. _If nobody can help her...and we know the trolls can't heal her because of Elsa's magic not letting them.__..we barely got my memories... _"I won't leave you, I promise. I...I'm _so sorry _I let you leave the chocolate shop alone. Maybe all this crazy stuff wouldn't have happened if I'd stayed with you or we hadn't gotten chocolate at all. But I'm not leaving. Are...are you sure you really can't walk and it's not just because you're hurting too much to try right now?"

"I am very sure. I _wasn't _sure, but then I...I realized I can't move," Elsa said softly. "That...that's why I said I was scared. If...if you leave, I..." Elsa's blue eyes welled with tears all over again, and she hid her face in Anna's shoulder. _If I'm alone, I'll be trapped. That terrifies me. Anna can't stay with me all the time, and I don't expect her to. _"I want to go home," she whimpered desperately. "I'm sorry-I'm trying to n-not be...messing up anymore, but-"

"You saved people, Elsa. Where the heck do you think you 'messed up' today? You didn't mess up anything at all!" Anna ignored the snow falling more rapidly around them and the cold emanating from Elsa. _What do I do now? Did I hurt her worse picking her up and carrying her inside? No, I had to, it wasn't safe for me to not do that and stay put. _"Really, I can't think of a better way to reveal your magic than by _saving _people with it. The fact that you got hurt doing it is just going to make all those people love you more, not less. And I will not leave you alone. You are _not _going to be left trapped helpless somewhere, do you understand?"

Elsa didn't answer, but the snow stopped, and she nodded a little. _I know Anna is right, but it's...it's like being in here is that nightmare come to life. But, Anna is here and she helps._

Anna held Elsa tightly and went on, "And, you wouldn't be helpless without me here anyway. Your magic, Elsa. You were using it _after _creepface shot you and you couldn't get up, and you," she sounded pleased at this part, "you used your knife on him, too. Too bad you didn't kill him, the ol' creep."

Elsa actually smiled now. _I did. That's true. I should scold Anna for saying she hopes I killed that man but...I shall do that later. _"Thank you. That actually does help. Pull the crate closed, Anna. I don't trust us to hear people approaching quickly enough."

"But you said you didn't like it in here and honestly? I don't like it either!" Anna protested. "Nobody's gonna come down here until eight."

"We can deal for awhile," Elsa said firmly. "Let's not ruin our chances of getting out unnoticed. People should assume we went home after our carriage ruse happens. We don't want to be seen by accident." Elsa thought she heard noises nearby and gave Anna a meaningful look. _Close it!_

Anna reluctantly closed their little hideout and crawled back to her spot next to Elsa. _I hate this. I hate it and I'm sure Elsa hates it more than I do. _"It's so dark and cramped in here. It's creepy," she mumbled. _And is Elsa all right? How can she rest in here when she's hurt?_

Elsa squeezed Anna's hand. _We're together. We will be fine. _She heard scratching against their crate and tensed. What if it was a mouse? Or a rat? _Oh come on, better a rodent than a bad human. It's _fine.

Anna let out a stifled squeak. "Elsa, what's that? It doesn't sound like a person," she whispered.

The quiet meow a few moments later answered their question. Anna opened their hiding spot a bit and a large orange cat sauntered in. Elsa blinked in surprise. _A cat! I love cats. I don't want to hurt it though. _"It's so fluffy," she whispered back.

Anna smiled and sat back next to Elsa; then fluffed the pillows around her and tucked one of the blankets over her too. "You tell me if I can do anything to make being stuck in here more comfy," she informed Elsa. "How are you feeling now?"

"...I'll be all right. I just feel...strange," came Elsa's careful, quiet reply. _My magic feels fine now, which is wonderful for me, but my back really hurts. Then I can't feel my legs and I have a headache. I don't want to tell Anna all of that._

"Will you take some of that pain medicine, please? It's supposed to help you feel better. Your 'strange' probably means you're hurting really bad." Anna was surprised when Elsa asked a question instead of instantly saying no thank you. _She definitely feels terrible. I guess at least she's not panicking or anything. That's good._

"Is it going to make me sleep?"

"Well, probably. What about half a dose? It might help some but you won't be as drowsy or whatever," Anna suggested. "Then if you need the other half you can just have it in a bit. We would've gone home and slept anyway."

Elsa nodded. This plan seemed reasonable to her. _I can do that. I know I have to rest, and I won't be able to if I don't take something. Besides, sleeping will take up time. I don't have to be thinking about being stuck in here. _The big orange cat was purring now, and Elsa hesitantly pet it. _I love cats. I wish I had a cat, but..._ "Anna, actually, don't give me any of that. I can't fall asleep in here. I'll end up hurting you if I have a nightmare."

"That's ridiculous. We slept in the little snow shelter last night a little and it was fine. You've had nightmares lots of times and you've never hurt me because of them. You'll just make it snow and that's not dangerous. Here, there's water canteens in here. Take the medicine and drink some water. Please. I'm scared you might get worse and I won't know how to help." Anna spoke quietly and put another blanket over Elsa before wrapping one around herself. _It's so cold down here._

_"_I'm not cold. Keep the blankets for yourself. I know it's quite cold in here for a normal person. You are shivering, a-and I don't think it is because of me this time." Elsa didn't feel up to protesting further and she let Anna give her the medicine and water, much to Anna's relief. She wished she had something reassuring to tell Anna, but there was nothing to be done now. Maybe their aunt and uncle could help once they arrived in Corona, but first they needed to get there.

Anna curled up next to Elsa and closed her eyes, trying to pretend they were just having an adventure and camping out or something. _I hate this. I hate it I hate it I hate it. _The orange cat meowed in protest at being squished and gave her an indignant look. "Sorry, cat," Anna mumbled, but she didn't move away from Elsa. Their furry friend curled up by their feet instead, nestled in the blankets Anna had put around Elsa.

"Anna, I don't like it in here either," Elsa said tiredly, "but at least we're not _alone..._right?" _I don't know how I can even help Anna. I hate it here too and I'm scared Uncle Thomas and Aunt Primrose won't want me either. What if I can't stay?_

_Elsa, don't be ridiculous. They wouldn't do that. You must know it._

_I know. I must remind myself of it._

* * *

Both sisters were asleep when a quiet knock on the crate jerked both of them awake a seemingly endless time later. Anna's first instinct was to shout WHO IS THAT?, but she resisted and stayed still, Elsa clutching her arm. _Please be Gerda, please be Gerda. I don't know what time it is, maybe it's been long enough for her to get here._

_"_It's just Gerda," came the familiar voice. "I'm going to open the crate now, unless you two sealed it shut."

The orange cat meowed at being disturbed. Elsa sighed in relief. _We can get out! Finally. _Anna pulled Elsa close and scooted out the second Gerda had opened their crate. "What time is it? What _day _is it? Where are we?" Anna's questions came too fast for Gerda to answer. "It sorta feels like we're moving now. Are we?"

Elsa stayed quiet and let Anna ask the questions. _We're getting out of here. It's going to be fine. Anna would tell me I don't have to be scared but that it's okay to be. _She let herself relax in Anna's arms. Anna was warm, Gerda was there, and they wouldn't leave her all alone. Elsa's eyes drifted closed again. _I want to rest. I wish we could go home. _Never in her life had Elsa thought she could actually miss her room this much. It might have been a gilded prison to her before, but it was familiar and it was nice when Anna was in it.

"It's early morning, day after the...incident. The ship just left the docks. Please, princess, let's get you two into a cabin and get you some clean clothes. You two are a mess!" Gerda grew more and more worried as she led her two charges out of the hold and to the cabin she had chosen for them. "What were you thinking leaving the castle alone like that?!"

The orange cat followed and then ran off after a mouse.

"We went to get my memories fixed at the troll valley," Anna said defensively. "Which was all fine and we would've got back safely if that stupid horrid Damian hadn't found Elsa." She followed Gerda into the cabin and carefully laid Elsa on one of the bunks. "Are you all right, Elsa?"

Elsa just nodded and didn't say a word. _Cabin. Safe. Yes. I am fine. I have Anna here with me. I just... _She struggled to turn over and just stared at the wall. Then the tears came, the burning kind that just made her cry more. _I want to go home. I'm scared this is permanent and I'll just be a burden for Anna even more than I was already. It hurts. It still hurts. What if revealing myself to protect everyone gets back to Mom and Dad if they're alive?_

_I wouldn't even be able to get through the secret passages by myself if I had to stay in my room again. I literally couldn't. I wouldn't be able to get out. _Ice tingled in her fingers, and she clasped her hands close against her chest. _Calm down. Stop making yourself more and more anxious. Stop it._

_Anna saw my memories. She knows. She knows everything._

"Elsa, you said that last bit of whatever you are thinking out loud. I'm glad you trusted me to see those childhood memories. You don't have to worry, I'm not gonna tell anyone or something. Or think any less of you." Anna splashed water on her face from the washing basin and then dug into the small trunk Gerda had brought for them looking for clean outfits for both herself and Elsa.

Elsa didn't answer, but the snowflakes floating around her disappeared. _I know. It's just embarrassing and I can't help but worry. _There was silence for a few minutes aside from the rustling of Anna moving about and letting Gerda do her hair, and then Elsa flinched when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I don't want anything, Gerda," she said. "But thank you."

"Then let Miss Anna help you find something clean to wear and get settled. Please." Gerda's voice was kind but firm. "We _must _take care of you. We love you very much, and you need to come back home and take control again once you're able. You know that."

Elsa nodded. _I do know that. I wish I could just disappear from this, but I can't._

"I'll let you be. Please just come right next door to the smaller cabin if you need me," Gerda said quickly. "Listen for sounds in the hall before coming out though and be very quiet. No one thinks this cabin is occupied." As concerned as she was about Elsa, she knew it would be better to let her feel safe to talk with just Anna than be hovering over her asking over and over if she wanted help. "I do have a message for you from Erik. Kai sealed it; they both said it was for you only and whatever you chose to do with the contents was up to you and they would follow your decision regardless."

"Thank you." Elsa stayed put facing the wall, not particularly wanting to talk at all. She just wanted Anna nearby all the same.

"But Gerda, _of course _they're supposed to listen to Elsa-what kind of message is that, I mean-"

Anna had her answer when Elsa interrupted her indignant comments. "It's about Mom and Dad, Anna. They are in Weselton, according to the man Erik was questioning." Elsa did not regret revealing the contents to both Anna and Gerda; she _had _to tell them. _I can't just leave them there. I can't. What am I supposed to do now?_

"What?!" Anna snatched the letter and quickly scanned it. "Now what? Maybe the guy is lying."

Elsa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _Calm down, Elsa. You should be happy, not...upset. What kind of daughter are you? _She felt Anna's warm hand squeezing her shoulder and tried to concentrate on that. Yes, she had thought somehow herself that this was _exactly _what was going on, but having a suspicion and seeing this message were very different things. As much as she genuinely hoped their parents were alive, part of her had to admit she didn't want them to come back, either. _We're going to Corona for help. This is just something else to get help for. _"He doesn't have reason to lie, Anna," she said finally. "I'm not saying this mercenary is _trustworthy, _but he just wants to do what's best for himself. That would be telling us everything he knows. Most likely he doesn't care one way or the other about what happens to me. He was willing to help Damian, but he also probably doesn't have any loyalty to him beyond whatever he would get paid for the job, and since the job failed, he'll get nothing anyway."

Anna was startled into silence. Someone helping with a plot to get rid of Elsa and simply..._not caring one way or the other _wasn't something she had ever thought of. How could someone assist in such a thing?

"I wish to rest now," Elsa said in her flat, neutral voice Anna hated hearing. _Please leave, Gerda. I don't want to talk right now._

_"_Of course, Miss Elsa. I'll be right next door," Gerda said, and quickly left.

"Elsa, Gerda brought us some clothes and things. You gotta change; that dress is ruined and all dirty. Will you let me help you?" Anna asked tentatively. "We need to clean that nasty wound again too. I'm sorry. I'm _not _having you get sick 'cause it gets infected or something. Then you'll be more comfy. At least I hope so." _She's gonna say no. I just know it. Then what? I know she can't by herself right now. And she wouldn't be able to change the dressing on her back herself anyway. Do _I _know how? What if I hurt her more?_

Elsa hesitated and scrunched her eyes shut, knowing quite well that Anna was right but wanting to say no all the same. "I just...I don't...don't want anybody seeing me," she whispered after a long minute.

Anna locked the cabin door. "Nobody's gonna see you. Door's locked," she assured Elsa. _Wait...me either. She doesn't want me seeing her either. _"And I won't look. I promise."

"How are you planning to help and not?" Elsa's shaky voice held a hint of amusement now despite herself.

Anna smiled. _Good. That sounds more like normal Elsa. _"You can hold a blanket over yourself, and I'll just close my eyes if that'll help. Or," she went on in a happier voice, "you could just make an ice-dress. Maybe that would make you feel better."

_Well, maybe I could just decorate my normal clothes, at least. I'd feel so self-conscious if I made another ice-dress. I guess since people know now, it wouldn't matter though... _Elsa nodded. "I'll make an ice-dress to wear for now. I don't want to and can't go out on the deck anyway, so just you and Gerda will see me. Is that all right?"

"Duh yes!" Anna was rewarded with a small nod and Elsa trying to sit up by herself, her expression a little happier now. Anna quickly sat next to her to help.

Tiny sparks of magic danced around Elsa's fingers as she touched her shoulder and closed her eyes. _Dress. I want another dress, _she thought, picturing what she wanted in her mind. In seconds the ruined outfit had vanished, replaced by sparkling ice. _I already feel better. Not so dirty and...not me. One day at a time. I can do that. I will worry about rescuing Mom and Dad when it is time to do so. I will not worry about anything until we get to Corona because there is nothing more to be done until then. We just need to stay quiet and hidden for now._

"You look lovely, Elsa!" Anna was hoping Elsa would smile or at least brighten a little, but she just shook her head.

"I...I feel broken all to pieces." Elsa's soft whisper made Anna's eyes tear up. She had her hands clasped in her lap, trying to make them stop shaking. _I'm so scared right now. I have Anna, but...what is she supposed to do with me? What am I supposed to do with myself? I wish I'd reacted faster. I wish I could fix me. The inside and the outside._

"You're _not _broken, Elsa, you're just hurt." Anna gave her a hug and just held on, as much for herself as for Elsa. _I don't know what to do. I might try to be optimistic but even I know some things don't heal when they're hurt. How am I supposed to make her feel better? If she _doesn't _get better and then we find Mom and Dad, then what? _The mental picture of frightened, hurting Elsa chained in that cell unable to get out simply because she couldn't stand up flitted through Anna's racing thoughts. She realized she was starting to feel genuinely sick, and she quickly made sure Elsa was all right sitting by herself before running into the tiny bathroom. _I can't let something like that happen to her. I can't. I couldn't protect her from Damian and he should be dead and have no power at all, how can I protect her from Dad? Would he do something like that to her? I don't even know. I want to think no, but..._

It wasn't that Anna thought she had nothing at her disposal to avoid such a thing, but she _knew _there would most likely end up being a week or two in which she wouldn't be able to get Elsa back before she got help from Corona or something. That would hurt Elsa and undo everything they had done for the last few months, even if Elsa claimed she'd be fine for awhile. Maybe they could rescue their parents before even returning home. Then Elsa would be safe in Corona already and there wouldn't be a problem at all.

She thought of the memory she'd seen of little ten-year-old Elsa crying, trapped in her closet for hours.

_Elsa was so little. She trusted Dad not to hurt her and he didn't even notice she had hurt herself because she hid it from him. She wanted _me _back. She wished she didn't exist. ELSA WAS TEN YEARS OLD. _Anna found herself crying and she looked through the tears for something to throw and break. She was so _angry _she couldn't stand it any longer. _If I see Dad I'm going to scream._

The basin of water crashed to the floor and shattered against the wall. Anna ignored the mess and kicked at the trunk instead. _I want to do something. I want to help and I'm so pissed and I can't fix Elsa._

_No! She doesn't need fixing, so there. _Anna hated herself for even thinking that. Elsa had enough people thinking there was something wrong with her that needed _fixing._

_"_Anna! Anna, are you okay?" Elsa looked down at herself in disgust and tried to get up, knowing she couldn't. _I can't. I can't get to her. There is probably something else I could do with my magic to help, but I don't know what it is. _Elsa yelped when Anna abruptly flung herself into her arms and just held on tightly, crying as if her heart would break. "Anna, what is wrong? If you're sick, why don't we ask Gerda to bring us some tea. That might help."

"It's...not that kind of sick."

"You threw up. I heard you." Elsa's calm voice puzzled Anna. She was leaning on the pillows now, her expression worried but no longer frightened like she had been before. "If it's not that kind of sick, what scared or disturbed you enough to make it happen?"

_Of course Elsa knows. It's happened to her. _"I...don't want to tell you," Anna admitted, still sniffling.

"Does it have to do with the memories of mine that you saw?" Elsa asked faintly. _My memories probably hurt her. _"When Pabbie's procedure went awry and you got some of my post-accident memories?"

Anna swiped at her eyes and just stared at Elsa. _She knows sort of, already. _"Elsa, please, I don't want to talk about this with you. I know you, it'll make you all upset and potentially panic, and I don't want that. You're hurt and I want you to sleep. And you won't sleep if you're thinking about old memories or worrying about me. I need to give you more medicine and take care of you-I forgot-I'm sorry-"

"If it will make you feel better, do those things and then go talk to Gerda. Can you do that instead?" Elsa gave her a reassuring smile and patted her hand. "Please. I would be ever so grateful." _I don't know what else to do. Surely Gerda can help Anna. I know I can't really help Anna process _my _memories when I hate thinking about most of them myself. Those horrible feelings felt so fresh after and the _only _reason I wasn't a complete mess and paralyzed by it was because I had little Anna's memories to latch onto instead of mine._

Anna nodded. "Okay. I'll do that."

* * *

Anna made sure Elsa was asleep before she went to talk to Gerda. Elsa had a contented smile on her face now, her dress's sparkling cape around her like a blanket, her hands carefully tucked under her head in that naturally elegant way she had sometimes. Anna did not think Elsa would wake up for several hours, but she went to get Gerda and came back anyways. _I don't want her to wake up alone. If she wakes up I'll just stop talking. _"Gerda, did you know Dad trapped Elsa in her closet as punishment?" Anna asked.

Gerda gave an involuntary start but nodded. "Yes. I remember letting her out and treating her ankle. She had twisted it tripping or something, she never explained. I found her in there when I brought her a meal. I didn't really know what to do to fix the situation. I rather wish I had told you then about Elsa's magic, come what may. What makes you ask about that now, princess?"

_Well, at least little Elsa wasn't left to try taking care of her ankle herself I guess. "_I got to see some of Elsa's post-accident memories when we got my missing ones back from the trolls. Something went wrong with Grand Pabbie's magic, and since Elsa's is linked to her emotions, it used some of her memories to kick his magic out. Most of them were...not good. We were lucky it didn't hurt us or wreck either of our memories." Anna glanced at Elsa and smiled sadly. "Elsa seemed mostly all right, which surprised me, so I asked her if she wanted to get some celebratory chocolate on the way home. She said yes, but then when we got to the shop, she got upset seeing Daisy and said she would wait outside for me and don't worry. I...I feel so _stupid. _I let her go out by herself figuring I'd be out in a minute and...a-and I guess Damian found her. You know what happened after." _Why did I do that? I wish we'd just gone home._

"It sounds like Miss Elsa probably saw some of _your _memories. Those are probably why she appeared fine but then was upset when she saw little Daisy. I imagine seeing those memories made her a little happier," Gerda told her slowly.

"Well now she's really badly hurt and I feel like it's partly my fault. If we'd just gone straight home..." Anna trailed off. _I don't know what to do. I don't want Dad coming home and...and hurting her inside again._

"She will heal, Miss Anna. It'll just take time. Yes, you two shouldn't have gone out alone like that, but your sister getting hurt is no one's fault but Damian's. You know that."

Anna's shoulders drooped. _I don't know, but I don't think so. At least I doubt it. _"Gerda, Elsa can't move her legs," she whispered. "I...don't think that's going to get better. I mean, I hope so, but I _really _doubt it. Besides whatever chances of that happening probably got ruined when I picked her up after. I wish she'd killed Damian," Anna said vehemently. "I hope he gets found and lynched for this!"

_Oh. _Gerda wasn't sure how to respond to that; Anna was probably right. "Well, then I shall help take care of her, as always," she said matter-of-factly. "She'll be all right as long as she's not alone."

"It's not even _that _so much! Elsa seems upset about it, but mostly okay. Like...if anything she seems _less _upset by it than you'd think. She's just terrified of being left somewhere by herself and not being able to do anything about it, which...makes sense. I'm scared of what might happen if-when-we _do _find Mom and Dad!" Anna paced back and forth in the small cabin. "And I'm so angry knowing exactly what Dad has done to her. I'm _pissed_! And I don't care if that's rude language it's true and I want to tell him off!" She hesitated and balled her hands into fists. "What if he's mad at her for revealing her magic in public and wants to put her in that stupid cell again? I mean, we know that's silly and pointless since everyone defended her anyway, but..."

"Any one of those people that saw her _protect others _with her magic would most certainly cause a fuss should they find out." Gerda glanced to Elsa, but she was still asleep. "I don't think he would put her in the dungeon for it. Goodness knows Erik wouldn't have it, for one, even if it got him punished."

Anna's tears overflowed then. "Why not? All Dad's done is treat her like trash," she said bitterly. "I can't understand it. The worst part to me is that I _know _he thought he was doing the right stuff. He lied to me every day. How could he love me and act like everything was normal when he was treating Elsa like that and obviously felt that he cared for her fine? I think he does care, just not enough. Why didn't Mom do something? She _loves _them, Gerda. I felt it. She did get angry even if she didn't say anything, but mostly she just wanted Dad to love and accept her." Anna decided not to say more about Elsa's memories since she _had _promised not to tell anyone. Gerda already knew Elsa loved their father, so saying that was okay, but Anna wasn't going to say more and betray Elsa's confidence. "Anyways, I'm not worried about not being able to get Elsa back if something happened, it's the...inbetween time. I can't let everything good from the last months get ripped away from her again, even if it's temporary. I just can't." _I'd say we could just go right back to Corona again, but I don't know how I could get Elsa out of the castle with me if our parents are back and she can't walk. She probably wouldn't go anyways._

"You told me King Thomas and Queen Primrose would be happy to take your sister in should it come to something that needed action that way," Gerda reminded her. "Also, she knows she has you now. That's different than before. Miss Elsa would be all right for a few days while you two straighten things out. Besides, you're headed to Corona now. They'll keep you both safe."

"She's not going to be okay in that cell again, Gerda, and you know it. It scares her. And like, I don't blame her one bit." Anna bit her lip and sat next to Elsa. Elsa gave a happy sigh and subconsciously reached for Anna's hand. "I did a stinky job protecting you yesterday, Elsa, but I won't let you be hurt inside anymore, at least. I won't." _I'll just stay with her literally twenty-four seven if I need to. I know Elsa genuinely does know that what happened to her isn't right. A little bit of her knew even before. She'd let me speak up for her even if she won't do it herself._

Elsa opened her eyes and just stared at Anna, looking a little confused. "Anna," she said after a moment. "I am happy you are here," Elsa added. Then she closed her eyes again and seemed to fall back asleep.

"Just let her rest, princess," Gerda said quietly. It was reassuring to her to see a drugged sleepy Elsa confused but calm and happy, and not waking up frightened of being somewhere unfamiliar and fighting falling asleep again. That was a good thing. The fact that the cabin was not cold-or at least no colder than the rest of the ship-and there were no magic mistakes only confirmed that. "You should rest too. I can't imagine either of you slept well hiding in that crate last night."

Anna nodded and curled up next to Elsa, who flopped a tired arm around her almost immediately. _Thanks, Elsa._

Gerda draped a blanket over both of them. "I'll stay here unless one of you says otherwise."

**A/N: Annnnd that's a wrap for today!:) I'm sure if you've read some of my other stories you already have a very good idea of just how Elsa got hurt and what might happen, but circumstances are different this time, so obviously completely different things are going on.**

**So Elsa's magic secret is out, but not the way Damian hoped; she ruined his plans and no one reacted the way he assumed they would lol. If anyone is wondering just why everyone made the quick decision to get both Anna and Elsa out of Arendelle, it's because they _know _there's at least one mole in the ranks somewhere and, especially since Elsa is hurt, they'll be safer with their aunt and uncle in Corona. (Besides, I want them to visit, so:)) They can celebrate Christmas there in a few chapters!**

**Next chapter coming soon!**


	16. Chapter 16

** A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing:)**

**On to the story!**

"Anna, we are heading right toward a storm," Elsa said suddenly that evening. Gerda had brought them a simple but tasty dinner from the galley (on one plate so it appeared to be for one _very _hungry person), and now they were sitting on the bunk looking out the porthole window and eating dinner.

Anna stared at Elsa. "Are you sure? I hope you're wrong but I know you're most likely not," she muttered. _A storm. Great. Not._

Elsa pointed out the window at the clouds. "I'm sure, and even if I was not, look at those clouds. Just a few hours more and it will be on top of us." _And I can feel it. Winter storms are dangerous, they don't even have to be...magical. _She blinked in surprise when she heard Anna's next question. "What?"

"I said, do you think you could move the storm away from us or just get rid of it?" Anna asked earnestly. _I know Elsa's hurt, but her magic isn't, really. I bet she can! And even if she can't, she could totally protect the ship somehow._

"...I don't know how. I...I think I _do _have the raw power to move it, but..." Elsa closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on her very faint connection with the storm. _What if I made it worse trying to help? I can't even get up by myself. What am I thinking even considering Anna's idea? _"Anna, why am I even remotely considering this?" Elsa felt her magic stirring inside her, ready to unleash if she allowed it to, and she pushed those feelings away. _Why am I like this? My ice doesn't even hurt now, but it's like...like it _wants _me to interfere. I shouldn't interfere with natural weather. Thinking I could do so is exactly what scared Dad so much._

"Because your magic isn't hurt, Elsa. It's still just inside, flowing through you like normal," Anna pointed out.

"I can't channel it properly," Elsa said quietly, and looked away, her expression a bit pained at the admission. _I don't know how else to put it. I _never _thought I'd miss that, never in a million years, but I don't...feel right. It's much better than the hurt from before, but I don't like my magic feeling like this, either._

_Elsa, that's greedy. You should not be thinking that. Just be grateful the ice no longer hurts._

_But...it feels _wrong! _Why is thinking that so bad?_

Anna set the dinner tray on the floor, gently took Elsa's cool hands in hers, and gave them a squeeze. "It's _there, _Elsa, and I think you know it as well as I do. I think...I think you probably can't channel it through your feet like when you ice the floor to skate. But, you mostly direct your magic with your hands anyway. I mean, you made your pretty dress easily. It doesn't feel like you lost any of your magic inside, does it?"

Elsa considered this for a minute. "No. I know it's there like always, but my legs can't feel it, even though I _know _the magic is there. It's..._dull. _The magic is sad. Does that...make sense?" Elsa sounded hesitant; it was clear she didn't particularly want to discuss it, even though she would answer Anna's questions when asked.

"Yeah, it does. Why wouldn't it be sad? Its owner is badly hurt and probably a bit sad too, even if she's happy because all those people accepted her." _That's proof. Elsa might claim she doesn't care about what happened to her, but it's not true. Elsa's magic is tied to how she feels, and she says her magic is sad. _Anna gave her a hug, and Elsa immediately relaxed and went limp in her arms. Elsa hiccuped as if she were trying not to cry, and a few tiny telltale snowflakes floated around her. "It's okay to cry, you know," she whispered in Elsa's ear.

"I don't have _reason _to, we're safe and you didn't leave me-"

"Elsa, it's not wrong or selfish to cry for a bit because you're injured. It's okay," Anna interrupted firmly. She tucked Elsa back among the pillows with a light blanket and smiled at her. "You rest now, 'cause I have got this feeling we're going to need your help." _I'm angry that she's hurt, but she doesn't need her legs to work to use her powers to protect everyone. That's just a fact. Not that I want her to have to, but I want her to know that she can. And why does this have to happen to her? She deserves some fun calm time after everything! It's ridiculous. I'd say I need a bunch of trustworthy bodyguards for her but I don't think she would like that. No I need to make it so she defends _herself _better. Elsa did try this time, but I'm sure she could've very well got rid of Damian before he did anything if she reacted better._

Elsa was silent for a few minutes before she spoke. "I wanted to go ice skating with you again," she mumbled almost inaudibly. _Now I can't. I'm not optimistic or naive enough to think I'm going to be able to walk again. I suppose there's a slim chance, but...especially since that bullet wasn't even normal. I should be dead...I'm lucky he didn't aim at my head. That was stupid on his part. He was so set on exposing my magic he didn't even succeed in what he was trying to do._

Anna gulped. That was not what she had expected Elsa to say. "Well, at least we got to do it some in the ballroom. Besides, I'm terrible at ice skating," she blurted, unsure what to tell Elsa. "Are...are you okay?"

_No. No I'm not. I'm scared and I hurt so much and I wish we could go back home already. _Elsa finally just shook her head and didn't answer aloud. There wasn't anything Anna could do to fix her anyway. She wondered what their parents would say upon seeing her now. _It's my fault. You went outside the gates, what did you expect, Elsa? You made a serious mistake, and now you must deal with the consequences. "_I should step down and give you my position," Elsa said now.

"No, you shouldn't. You're not incapable of doing your paperwork stuffs. You're going to get better, Elsa, so there. We'll figure out how. Maybe your magic can heal you somehow, I don't know." Anna wondered just what Elsa was thinking about that had made her say that all of a sudden.

"I know that. I don't mind the paperwork." _And I don't have healing magic, _Elsa wanted to say, but she decided not to.

"Then why'd you say it?!" Anna asked indignantly.

"Because," Elsa's voice was choked with tears now, "because ever since you found me, _you're _the only reason I can function at all. You saved me from myself; you s-saved me from Pieter; you picked me up from the street after...what happened. You helped me with _all _my writing after I hurt my arm before. What have I done but give y-you trouble?" _And now you're _still _taking care of this broken thing that can't take care of herself. _Elsa fiddled with the beads on her special bracelet uncomfortably, hoping Anna would understand. "I have done nothing for you but make life more difficult."

Anna considered that for a moment; then just crossed her arms. "That's just not true. Elsa, you sacrificed your own childhood so I could have mine. I think...I think maybe your choices and what you did when you were little made you the person you are now. You could've turned into a bitter creep after what happened to you, but instead you're still _you. _I, um...I can't give all that time back, but maybe it's my turn to give back what I can. I love you, Elsa. You're _not _troublesome to me, okay? Please believe me. You're my friend. I _want _to help." _I don't know what I can tell her. I kinda understand where Elsa's coming from though, what else could she think?_

"I do believe you. I just...don't understand. It...it's like there's something inside me that won't let me..._fully _believe it. I don't know. I would _always _understand if you just...got rid of me eventually. I...I wouldn't stop you." Elsa lifted her hand and held out her signature snowflake, the faint glow shining on her face. "It's not even just my magic that makes me a problem; for whatever reason, you _like_ it."

"Well, I'm glad you're starting to realize your powers aren't a problem, but the rest of you isn't a problem, either," Anna informed her. _That's new. Elsa realized she can genuinely _help _people with her magic after revealing herself in public like that. She's not trashing that part of her right now. But...but that means she just thinks she's a problem because she's hurting. That...is almost worse. "_Really, just think about it. Let's pretend you're me and I'm you for a minute. Would you _really _consider 'getting rid of me' even for a second just because I was hurting?"

Elsa dropped her snowflake and twisted the blanket in her hands, feeling a bit embarrassed. "No, of course not. That is disgusting and horrible," she said in an oddly neutral voice. _What is Anna thinking asking me that? _"I would _never _murder my sister or get rid of her, never ever, no matter what, whether she was like me or not."

"Then why did you say you'd understand if I did that to you?" Anna asked gently. "You know I wouldn't do something like that."

Elsa closed her eyes and wouldn't answer.

"Elsa, look at me. Why did you say that?"

_I don't know. Because I'm used to thinking I don't deserve anything at all. Because I'm scared and part of me would be relieved if I didn't have to live anymore, even though I _don't _want to...die. I want to be here, I want to be here with Anna. I know I do. I just...don't want to make everything complicated for her. She threw up because she was scared for me. What if my memories did that to her? _A single tear ran down Elsa's cheek, and she roughly swiped at her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Elsa," Anna said her name again. "Why did you say that? Are you feeling...suicidal or something again? I'm not going to judge you or be mad at you for it if that's what's wrong, but I gotta know so I can help you better. You need to tell me!"

Elsa immediately shook her head, but then hesitated and nodded a tiny bit too. Those thoughts weren't exactly _not, _even if she didn't want to die, either. _I have to tell her something...I don't know how. I don't understand me, so I can't explain myself to her, either. "_I just...I don't want to make everything complicated for you anymore. I don't want to hurt anyone. And...and I'm so _tired. _I'm tired of being me. I don't know," she answered. "The months since you rescued me are the best months of my life in literally a decade. Even if I seem to be constantly getting into horrible trouble. For the first time I...I feel like I have...real hope for the future, even if I am still anxious and scared often. It probably doesn't look like it, but...that is the truth."

_Okay, well, at least Elsa's being honest. I don't think she really understands how she feels and so she can't tell me even though she wants to. That's fine. So we'll figure it out together. "_Would part of you still feel like you don't want to be here if you knew you weren't 'making things complicated', weren't going to hurt anyone, and weren't so tired?" Anna asked, keeping a tight hold on Elsa's cold hand.

"Of course not. The reasons would no longer exist," came Elsa's instant reply.

"Okay, that's good. We're going to make the reasons go away then. You're probably feeling yucky emotions partly 'cause of...what happened. I think you're all stressed out from being seriously hurt. It probably made everything worse, especially after the whole fixing memories thing. The tired. Is that something that's going to go away if you sleep some more? I don't think drugged sleep from taking medicine counts all that much. Speaking of that, you oughta take another dose, prob'ly." _I have to help her. Elsa is trying to get better, but it's like everything's working against her. I mean Elsa being shot like this is enough by itself to make somebody feel terrible. _Anna was determined to help, even if she wasn't really sure how to do so.

Elsa actually smiled a tiny bit now. _Anna probably is right. Maybe I feel all wrong and weird inside because I'm physically hurt too. _"No, it's not that kind of tired. I'll be fine that way. Being around you helps me sleep better."

"I think it is, at least sort of. Because if you mean your, like, emotions are tired because you don't know how to handle them, or you're hurting inside, that's gonna interrupt you sleeping the same way your back hurting really bad would," Anna pointed out. "I mean, I don't _know, _because we don't have anything that tells us how to help make anxiety or depressed feelings go away, but it'd make sense, right? I know you. Elsa, I've been around you enough to know that your brain goes a million miles a minute like all the time, even though you usually don't share all those thoughts, whether you're upset or not. You have deep complex emotions you stuff away and don't want to or don't know how to deal with. I know so, 'cause I _felt _them when I got to see your memories." _Oh bother, why did I say that? I'll make Elsa sad._

"I made you feel _my _emotions through my old memories?!" Elsa sounded horrified now. _I knew it. I don't want to do that to her!_

Anna smiled at her and nodded. _Well I messed up saying that, now I gotta fix it. "_Yes, and I'm gonna use what I learned t' help you feel better now. Like if you were an actress in a play and you become the character for a bit to be them properly? Like that. You felt the same when you saw little me's memories, right?"

"Well...yes, but yours were good! They actually helped me be okay after those trolls did that to us," Elsa admitted. _Little Anna was funny and those memories made me happy. "_All mine did was make you upset!"

"No. They made me understand you better," Anna corrected. "Also, they weren't _all _bad memories. I saw pre-accident ones too. You were cute and awfully funny, Elsa. For all your little prim and proper acting ways, you were also mischievous and loved playing games with me. Thought four-year-old me was lovable but a great big messy pain and _hated _me trying to borrow your dresses, did you?" Anna couldn't help teasing Elsa a bit; she would stop if the older girl seemed upset. She wanted to make Elsa laugh, or at least smile.

Elsa's pale cheeks turned pink, but her eyes seemed livelier now, and she was indeed smiling. "You would get them all dirty," she protested. _Thank you, Anna. That actually does make me feel better._

"Would it help if I told you which bad ones I got, Elsa, or would that make it worse?" Anna asked carefully. _I won't ask her to discuss it right now, but maybe not knowing is bothering her? _She wanted to talk to Elsa about the whole thing anyway, but she also didn't want to stress Elsa out more by forcing her to talk about it.

"...It would help, because honestly right now that part just feels like a blur to me. I don't like not knowing which of my horrible old memories are the ones Pabbie accidentally forced you to see." Elsa seemed calm and matter of fact now.

Anna took a deep breath and brushed a stray wisp of hair out of Elsa's face. "Okay. There were a bunch of rapid-fire blurry ones where you just seemed really sad and were looking out your window or hidden under the bed. You must have done that a lot. There were only a couple actually clear scenes post accident-so don't think I legit saw _everything _you can remember. It was kind of like your magic just ripped a couple free so you'd be strong enough to throw Pabbie out. I saw little ten-year-old ish you trapped in your closet for absolutely nothing," she said indignantly, "and I saw one of the...dungeon cell times. It was the one where I came down and found you. You...you felt very hurt and lonely but then you were all happy and relieved. Which I already knew. And..." she trailed off, unsure whether to finish. Elsa appeared fine, but her hand was growing cold, which said otherwise.

"Anna, I want to know, _please_."

"...I think you were maybe my age or a bit younger, I'm not sure. Dad slapped you because he didn't like something you said," Anna said hesitantly. _Please don't be scared, Elsa. Why did I even tell her this stuff? She doesn't need to remember that right now. But...she asked. I can't lie to her. Well I mean I guess I could but then she won't trust me anymore if she finds out. I shan't lose Elsa's trust. That's something she gave me and I'm not going to ruin it._

Elsa gave a start and tried to sit up, looking indignant, and Anna quickly wrapped her in a hug instead. "Papa never, ever hit me!" she protested. "I'd...I'd remember that!" _Yet...Anna must be right. She wouldn't randomly make that up. I do remember something odd right then... _Elsa put one hand to her cheek, as if remembering what had happened. "I was practicing giving and writing a speech...did I ask if he could knock m-me out so I wouldn't...wouldn't wake up? And...he didn't want to...hear me say that...?" _I...thought that was a dream. It was real? Did Anna just see a bad dream of mine? I don't remember this. _"Maybe you saw a dream," she said in a small voice.

Anna spoke carefully, keeping the blanket around Elsa so she wouldn't worry she might be too cold for Anna to hold. "I don't think so. That memory is the one that snapped the connection between us and Grand Pabbie. I think you stuffed it away subconsciously and convinced yourself it was a dream because it hurt too much. And your magic, like, 'found' it and used it. Elsa, you were writing about your magic as a "secret defense" in your speech to defend Arendelle. A bit of you actually felt angry and wanted to release your ice. You actually attempted to speak up a little for yourself, even if it wasn't expressed clearly or in a good way. It'd make sense to use a memory like that to throw outside magic away from your mind. Multiple strong emotions, it was directly about your magic. I _really _don't think that was a bad dream you once had, Elsa. I'm very, very sorry." _It explains why she didn't make a fuss about the dungeon too. Of course she didn't attempt speaking up for herself again. She had tried before and it didn't work. Even if she didn't consciously remember that...incident, it probably really hurt her and she didn't want something like it to happen again._

Anna decided she was all the more impressed at Elsa's actions in the marketplace the more she thought about it. Elsa had spoken up, something she was not used to doing and was difficult for her, and she had purposely used her magic to defend others in a controlled way _in public _without panicking or making any magic mistakes...and while she hadn't been able to prevent Damian from hurting her, she _had _defended herself all the same. She had not just given up and allowed him to harm her. And she had not just shut down and stopped fighting after being injured, either. _I still wish Elsa had used her magic on him, but at least she did something._

Elsa didn't cry or answer immediately; she just stayed still and took a deep breath. _I don't want to think that that's real. Papa, why? What did I do? Did I do a bad thing at home? No, I had to. I had to protect my people. That can't be wrong, I don't believe it. _"I don't want to believe Dad did that," she whispered.

"I know. I don't either." Anna felt sick again thinking that while she had been skipping around the castle asking Elsa to come out and play, things like _that _had been going on; and she'd been oblivious, though she had thought something wasn't right all the same. Maybe Elsa's child self remembered and interpreted those awful things wrong, but Anna didn't think so. _And I'm sure Dad had good intentions, but it doesn't...excuse or fix anything. I wonder if he's more like Elsa than any of us think. I wonder if he lashed out and got mad at her because he saw himself. I _know _he didn't like showing lots of emotion. He probably did that stupid conceal don't feel garbage himself and thought it would be good for Elsa!_

"You...you won't yell at him after we rescue them, will you?" Elsa asked hopefully. _I might be a tiny bit angry somewhere inside, but mostly I feel...numb and hurt about it. I just want Dad to love and approve of me, too._

"I don't know, Elsa," Anna said honestly. _Why does she even care? The same reason she was kind to Pieter, I guess...it's just the way Elsa is. _"I'm not gonna promise not to yell at him, because I know you won't."

"How is that going to help anything? Don't we want to try to...make everything okay again? That would be a very lousy welcome home. He might be hurt. He has feelings too, even if he didn't like...expressing them." Elsa's voice was muffled against Anna's shoulder, but she didn't care. _I might still not feel well and I hurt quite a bit, but...inside-me is all right now. I feel safe with Anna. If she knows those things and still is treating me exactly the same as always, then I know she won't leave. "_Besides, that would not make a good first impression anyway."

_What does she mean, "okay again", it was _never _okay, _Anna thought sourly. "Look, should we be successful with this whole rescuing thing, I'll give him a chance. One. And only one. And the second he does or says something I decide isn't nice to you-_I _decide, not you-I'm making it _very _clear I'm not putting up with that. I'll do whatever it takes to shut that garbage down immediately. You _know _what happened isn't fair, Elsa. I know you know. It's not happening again. Please don't let anyone walk all over you anymore in some effort to make them accept you. Anyone who doesn't isn't worth your time or emotional energy. You can't...force people to like you. Dad himself taught us that when we were little and had lessons and stuff. So. That stands here too."

"But I love Papa. He did his best."

"Well, if that was his best, that's horrible and on him. You can't possibly think slapping your daughter in the face is okay. You weren't even disrespectful or something. It wasn't justified _at all. _Not that I think it would've been okay even if you _had _been being rude or obnoxious, but...you weren't. If he thought for two seconds he would have known you were indirectly crying for help!" Anna hesitated; Elsa's cheeks had turned red and she looked embarrassed. "Elsa, there is _nothing_ your depressing memories showed me that you should be embarrassed for. Absolutely nothing. None of what happened was your fault."

"I just...you're making it sound like...like Dad is the villain here. I don't like it. Surely at _least _most of it was my fault. Not his. I'm the one that...wasn't made right," Elsa said softly. _I don't even know how to explain myself. Do I really believe what I just said, even? I never asked to be born different. I didn't ask to have my magic. All those people in the marketplace didn't think that._

"Good grief, Elsa, think about what you just said. You were _born _with your magic. We have an ancestor that was different, just like you. The ice powers are from Dad! Even if you're trying to say that you 'weren't made right', which is dumb, it's _still _Dad's so-called fault." Anna scowled. _I wish I'd got magic like Elsa. It would've been fun to learn and practice together._

Elsa looked puzzled for a moment, but then she nodded. _That does make sense._

"And I know you love our parents, I do too, but you can love Dad and not put up with his...his abuse! I'm sorry, but it's true. I _hate _that. You know in some ways you're all grown up but in others you're like a little kid. You don't owe Dad anything. You haven't got to get his approval to be worth something, okay? You're worth something to _me, _and you're also worth something to all of those people that defended you in the marketplace, too." Anna tried to pull away a little so she could see Elsa's face, but Elsa dipped her head and looked away. _Why won't she look at me now? Elsa doesn't _usually _do that so much anymore... _"Elsa...? Are you all right?"

"Do I _look _all right?" Elsa blurted before she could think to say something else or just stay quiet. _Elsa, that was rude. Anna is sitting here trying to take care of you and you just snapped at her. Apologize. _"I...I'm-"

"No. You don't. That was a stupid question," Anna interrupted gently. _Of course she's frustrated. Elsa's not mad at me. _"Let's try again. Is there anything else I can do or get for you that would help?"

Elsa shook her head. _Not unless you can fix the broken outside part of me, and that is impossible. You can fix the broken inside part, though. I thought it was impossible, but it's not. "_This helps. I...I will be fine like this as long as I c-can have you near." Elsa still wouldn't meet Anna's eyes, but she seemed relaxed now. _Anna isn't going to get rid of you, Elsa. You can trust her. Even if you couldn't talk to her, even if you can't walk anymore, she would still stay. You know that._

_I know. I'm scared of Papa taking her away. I know he's alive now for sure, so I'm more frightened than before. If he doesn't approve of me then he won't want me near Anna anymore. I'm scared I won't be able to explain everything._

_You can write a letter, Elsa. If you can't speak up out loud, then speak up on paper._

Anna held her tighter and spoke firmly. "I'm not gonna leave you, Elsa. You being injured just makes me all the more insistent that I don't leave you alone. It _will _be okay. You can cry as much as you need to, you can shout, yell, sleep, I don't care. _I will not leave. _I promise. I'm not going to leave you, Elsa, even if you push me away. I'd be really hurt and mad if you did, but I won't abandon you." _No matter how long it takes for her to heal-all of her, both inside and out-I'll stay. I might get tired but I shan't let her be alone. "_I love you. Gerda loves you too. And Kai. And Uncle Thomas and Aunt Primrose-I know it even though we haven't met them yet. They'll help us. That's why we're going to Corona, remember?"

Elsa didn't answer for awhile, trying to figure out what exactly she wanted to say. Finally she just asked, "Do you think it would be wrong for me to run away after we rescue Mom and Dad if I can't...deal?" _That is a ridiculous question; you literally can't do that, Elsa._

"Elsa, you sort of can't..." Anna mumbled cautiously.

"Pretend I wasn't shot."

"Well, no, but Elsa, if you have the guts to do that, why can't you just refuse to go into your ol' room in the first place? Yeah, assuming your legs _don't _heal, someone could just pick you up and move you, but unlike an ordinary girl, you have your magic. You don't have to hurt anyone with it to prevent being mistreated." Anna paused before adding, "And you don't even have to talk if you don't want to."

"Maybe...maybe I could make personal rules. I can put up with insert certain thing here, but not...other thing here. Is that illogical?" _I just want to be prepared for anything. _Elsa's pensive expression assured Anna that while Elsa was definitely frightened of what might happen, she was also trying to think clearly.

"Of course not. That seems _very _reasonable. And what will you do if a protect-myself-rule is broken?"

"I had not gotten that far yet," said Elsa, but she was smiling a little now.

Anna had a sudden realization. _Those people like Elsa. Dad is smart; he wouldn't want to cause a fuss. I shouldn't have to make a huge stink at all. We'll probably be able to make him understand fairly easily. It'll be fine. _"You know, Elsa, you'd probably get fussed at for revealing your powers and being around me, but really...what's Dad going to do? The people already know, and they like you. Like just say you were supposed to go in that horrid cell you destroyed again. Erik and a lot of our staff would be _pissed. _Dad wouldn't want to, um, what's the word? Alienate? Yeah. Alienate all of them. If you express that you're hurt by something he does, they will revolt in your favor. Right?"

"But I don't _want _to hurt our parents. I don't want anyone to know what...I'm like inside either. It would make me feel exposed a-and...vulnerable. I just...I guess I just want our family whole again. I...selfishly wish they would l-love and accept me for...me...like you do." Elsa's voice was quiet, and she gazed out the window. _And_ _I don't want to let myself hope and then be disappointed again._

Anna wasn't sure what to say to that, so she just sat silently with Elsa and looked out the window too.

* * *

Elsa woke in the night to frantic knocking on their cabin door. _Anna locked that! I can't answer it... _Anna was fast asleep beside her; Elsa could hear her snoring. _The storm. The storm is here. _Elsa's finely attuned senses told her it was sleeting fiercely outside and very windy and cold. The ship creaked and rocked on the waves, and Elsa felt as if her heart just sank to her stomach. _What if the ship sinks? Then what? What can I do?_

"Miss Elsa! It's just Gerda. Are you able to wake your sister up and get her to answer the door? Please!"

"I...I can try." Elsa winced as she sat up; then bit her lip trying to decide whether to wake Anna up or not. Anna did not like the ship or the storm. Waking her up might scare her. _I should be able to answer the door. Think, Elsa. There must be something I can do with my magic...besides just blasting the door open. I used to be able to push Anna and me around the ballroom when we were little. I pushed our ice sled along on the way to the troll valley too. Can I do the same thing to pick myself up now...? _Elsa really really did not want to bother Anna and wake her up.

Gerda grew worried when she heard a soft thump and muffled yelp. "Are you all right?"

Elsa blinked and took a deep breath. _Okay. I'm off the bed. Now what? _"I'm all right," she called. _Time for magic._

"Elsa? What are you trying to do?" Anna asked sleepily. "Hey. Are you okay? What are you doing out of bed? Do you need something?" She quickly hopped up and knelt next to Elsa, worried she had somehow hurt herself further, but Elsa appeared to be fine, or at least as fine as she had been before. "How did you get up anyway? I put you next to the wall and I went next to you so you wouldn't fall out of bed if the waves got really bad!"

"I...I just dragged myself out. You sleep like a log and you didn't wake up." Elsa's magic sparked to the door and froze the lock open delicately, no destruction this time like breaking the dungeon chains. "Gerda, it should be open now." Elsa frowned seeing Gerda's expression once the door was open. "What is going on?" _She looks worried. Does she think I'm supposed to do something? What can I even do?_

"Hi Gerda." Anna yawned and put an arm around Elsa's shoulders. _At least __she didn't hurt herself more. I don't think she did anyways. "_Why'd you need us? Elsa is supposed to be sleeping!" Her eyes grew big as she felt-and heard-the ship rocking and creaking amidst the storm. "What's going on? Is the ship sinking or something?" Anna asked nervously, clutching Elsa.

Gerda's candle was casting dim creepy shadows around the cabin, and Elsa bit her lip. The storm outside was making her feel antsy and jumpy, yet beyond the fear she also had the odd urge that she wanted to go outside. _Storms make me feel more...alive. I don't understand, but... _"Is it safe on the deck?" Elsa found herself asking.

"Why on earth are you asking _that_, Elsa?!" Anna asked incredulously. "I'm not taking you up there-what if we get washed overboard or-never mind." She carefully picked Elsa up and put her back on the lower bunk.

"Because the storm would be more exciting and less frightening in the open," Elsa explained. _That probably sounds odd, but...that is how I feel. If I could go up there by myself right now, I probably would. _She glanced out the window and then back at Gerda. "I still don't know what either of us are needed for?"

"Ah...the captain woke me up to say I should make sure you two were safe and ready to abandon ship if absolutely necessary. He didn't think that would happen at all but warned me to tell you now just in the extreme case. Evidently there are some leaks in the hull," Gerda explained.

Elsa's blue eyes practically lit up. _I could help! _She thought for a moment and then said, "I can fix it, but I need to be able to touch it. I don't trust myself to seal it without doing that," she said slowly. "Anna, will you-"

"Is the ship going to sink unless Elsa helps?" Anna interrupted, still holding onto Elsa tightly. She really, really did _not _want Elsa going off anywhere unless it was absolutely necessary. Elsa needed to rest and sleep as much as possible.

Gerda hesitated. "I don't think so, but there is a chance. It was just precautions, and since he knows it's his responsibility to deliver you to Corona safely, he wanted me to give warning now."

"Then I don't want Elsa going anywhere. Not unless we're in dire trouble." Anna was firm about this. Elsa was acting like her normal self, but she knew the older girl did not feel as okay as she wanted Anna to think, even if she was mostly happy right now. She had a sick inkling that if Elsa wasn't so used to being in pain from her magic before, she probably would be crying and not be able to do much of anything at all if she didn't take enough medicine to knock herself out so she could rest.

"Anna, please. Erik did not have to arrange passage for us; the captain did not have to hide us. Let's do what we can, all right? I shall be fine as long as you help me," Elsa said firmly. "I can rest as much as I need to once we get to Corona...hopefully." _If Uncle Thomas and Aunt Primrose don't mind dealing with me, _she couldn't help thinking.

"I just don't want you to be hurting," Anna protested. "I _know _every time I pick you up it hurts you. I can see it in your face even though you don't complain or say anything about it. You oughta be lying down and resting 'til you heal."

Elsa glanced toward the porthole window; it was too dark to see anything, but she could hear the sleet pelting the glass, and she could oddly _sense _the storm. If she left it alone it was going to pound them and get worse and worse. _I need to move it, _a little voice told her. _I need to try. Not ice the ship, which could ruin it. Move the storm off our route. _"Gerda, please come back and tell us if my help is absolutely necessary. I can do it, but then the entire crew will know we're aboard for sure. We don't want them to be targeted for knowing where we have gone when they return to Arendelle if we can help it. It's...it's probably going to be hard enough to get us _off _the ship discreetly." _I want to help, but the important thing is we stay hidden if possible. If no one is in danger, Anna and I should stay right here in this little cabin and lock the door. We shouldn't go out on deck anyway. I have a plan._

"Very well, Miss Elsa. You and your sister stay safe here in the meantime. May I bring either of you anything?" Gerda asked.

Anna looked at Elsa, who just shook her head. "I think we're good. I'll make sure Elsa's safe and make her rest." She gave the older girl a pointed look, but Elsa had her eyes closed, her hand on the porthole glass, as if she were trying to touch the storm outside. _What's Elsa trying to do?_

Gerda smiled at them and left, closing the door behind her. Elsa didn't react; she still seemed focused on whatever she was doing or thinking about touching the window. Anna stayed where she was with her arm around Elsa and decided not to interrupt what Elsa was doing, since she did not seem upset.

"...Anna, could you open this window?" Elsa asked hesitantly a minute later. Her hand was sparking with blue magic now, not in an out of control way, just like she was holding back a great deal of power and waiting to release it at the right time. _I can do it. I can _feel _it inside somehow. I just need to move it away from us and send it elsewhere. _The storm would not be badly dangerous _not _at sea.

"Um...I guess so? Here, Elsa, I'm going to lay you down for a second so I can get the window," Anna told her. She gently laid Elsa down on her side, lit a candle, and began fiddling with the window latch. "I don't really get _why, _but if it'll help you feel better, I will." Anna glanced at Elsa's hand; now she was holding the sparking one against her chest pointed towards herself just in case she made a mistake, but Elsa didn't appear frightened in any way either. Elsa's eyes were closed, her expression calm but determined. _She doesn't seem out of control at all. What's she trying to do?_

The second the porthole opened, the wind began blowing the snow and sleet mixture inside their little cabin. Out went the candle. Anna yelped and hopped off the bunk in surprise, even though she had known that would happen. Elsa bit her lip hard to keep from making any pained sounds, and the magic sparking around her hand faded. "Anna, I...I am sorry. Are you all right?"

_I think I hurt her and she's asking me if _I'm _okay. _"Yeah, but you aren't! I'm really really sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. Don't...don't move. I'll hold you by the window if that's what you need. What are you trying to do?" Anna was not sure what to do now; Elsa would not admit she was hurting and probably wouldn't ask for help.

Elsa sounded mildly amused even though Anna could tell she was still in pain too. "I can't go anywhere, Anna, don't worry," she deadpanned. "I...I want to move the storm away. To protect the ship." Elsa flinched as if she were worried Anna might react badly to that, even though Anna had been the one to bring it up earlier. Her voice was so quiet Anna could barely hear her. _I am pretty sure I can. I'll be very tired, but that's all right._

Anna hesitated, debating whether to argue that or not. _I love that Elsa wants to use her magic for something like that, but...she's hurt. I don't want her to hurt herself using her powers, and I don't want her hurting herself _not _using them either. But I'm the one who brought it up earlier. I can't now tell her not to. _"Elsa, are you sure you can do something that big right now without hurting yourself more? I know you just want to help, and hearing you say you _want _to use your magic in a big way is awesome. But I'm still really worried about you." She fumbled to relight the candle again and set it in its wall fixture.

"It won't hurt my...normal injuries, if that's what you mean," Elsa said carefully. _I have no idea how much doing that would drain me magic-wise, but I feel like I can do it._

Anna frowned and crossed her arms. "Does that mean it's going to hurt your magic instead? Or make you feel sick?"

Elsa looked at her earnestly. "It wouldn't _hurt _me. The worst that might happen is I feel sick and need to sleep...which I know I should do anyways." _Please don't try to prevent me from helping. I think this is something I can actually do. The only reason I think it is because of you._

"Will you at least stop if your magic starts feeling too drained and tired?" Anna knew the answer before Elsa said it.

"No. I will keep trying with everything I have if I must. Please let me help." _Please don't tell me not to. I feel so useless and I want to help. _Elsa wished she could explain herself better.

Anna hesitated. If she tried to order Elsa not to try, Elsa would probably listen even though she didn't have to, but she would also hurt Elsa's feelings. _I can't let Elsa hurt herself. Is doing this going to hurt her worse? _She scrunched her eyes shut, thinking. "Elsa, just...be honest. I don't want to lose you. I don't want you hurting yourself worse. Can you do this without doing that? If it's just going to make you tired, then fine. But I...I just can't let you harm yourself again. That includes your magic. Hurting your magic is also harming yourself. What Damian did to you is not your fault obviously, but I don't want you to make yourself injured further by pushing yourself too much."

The rain and sleet continued pelting into the room through the open porthole. Elsa wished again that she could go outside. "I swear I just want to help," she whispered. "Please believe me. I don't know what exactly it would do to me because I...I've never done s-something like this before."

Anna sensed she had probably pushed a bit too much. _Elsa can't tell me. She doesn't know. _"I believe you," she told Elsa, hoping she was doing the right thing. "If you can promise doing this won't...k-kill you...then do it."

Elsa didn't smile but didn't hesitate either. "I can promise that." The response was immediate. _Thank you, Anna. Thank you for trusting me._

"Then tell me what you need."

"I want you to put a cloak on so you aren't cold. Then help me be right in front of that window. Please." Elsa was so, so relieved Anna was willing to believe her and help her do this.

"You got it." Anna still did not like Elsa's plan, but she had decided to trust Elsa about it. _Hopefully I don't regret letting her try._

* * *

"You're still okay, Elsa? You're trembling and really cold," Anna said worriedly a few minutes later. She was holding Elsa up by the window, and the cold wintry weather mix was hitting both of them straight on. _I'm freezing. I can't tell Elsa that._

The ship continued rocking, and Anna felt Elsa flinch every time they slammed down into the trough of a wave. "I'm okay. Don't...don't worry, no matter what. If I think I can't finish without passing out, I...I'll warn you." Elsa closed her eyes and put her hand outside into the storm. Magic sparked out into the darkness. _I can do this. I have to. Come to me, storm. I like it. You make me feel more alive. But I need it to go away from us. Away from our route. I have a mental picture of it._

Elsa poured more energy into her mission. Whatever strength she had left, she would use it for this. Behind her, Anna loyally stayed put, burying her face in Elsa's cold shoulder to keep from being pelted by the sleet. Elsa sensed Anna's assumption that her injuries did _not _mean her magic was damaged in any way was spot on. It easily came to her fingers, pounding through her and ready to unleash. It felt _wonderful. _It was not going to explode in unwanted, dangerous fashion and hurt Anna. The magic felt happy to her, happy she was willing to use it and saying, _yes Elsa, I will behave for you now._

Elsa smiled. Unable to control the surge of power with only one hand, she lifted her other hand too and ignored the aching pain that spread up her arm. _I'm just using it to support my good hand. I can do this._

Power leaped out of the window into the night, spreading above the ship into the sky. Instantly the waves quieted and the wind eased. The rain and sleet mix morphed to fat snowflakes pouring down. Elsa put her hands together, careful to keep most of the power in her good hand, but she could still feel herself starting to give out. _Just a few seconds more. Push it away. Away now. Over land._

The water went glassy and calm. The sky twinkled with stars. Elsa sighed in satisfaction and drooped against Anna. _So tired. Very tired. _"Done," she whispered happily. _Simpler than I thought, too._

Anna lifted her head from Elsa's shoulder and peeked out the window. _It looks so peaceful now. Elsa really did it. _"And you're all right?" she asked.

"Just tired...want to sleep." Elsa sounded so happy and pleased with herself that Anna was sure she had to be all right. "I...I'm f-fine. Thank you for...your help." _I did it! I really did. Anna helped me. _She felt Anna gently tuck her back under the covers and brush damp hair away from her face.

"I didn't really do anything, but I'm proud of you. The Elsa I found those months ago wouldn't have been able to do what you did just now, especially with me being close to you." _Wait...if Elsa had been taught how to use her magic before...she could have saved Mom's and Dad's ship from sinking. Or whatever happened with the storm then, she could have helped. _Anna squeezed Elsa's hand; the older girl flinched and pulled her hand away, but then reached for Anna herself with her other hand. "Did you hurt your arm again doing that, Elsa?" Elsa's silence answered her question, but she didn't seem unhappy or upset in any way, so Anna decided not to fuss at her. _She did save the ship from being damaged further, which dangerous or not costs money to fix, and I know she wasn't purposely trying to hurt herself, she just wanted to help. _"Do you mind if I stay with you?"

"'Course not." _I'd be scared if you left, actually. _Elsa immediately dropped off to sleep, feeling warm and content.

* * *

"Captain, you gotta have Princess Elsa aboard. She just saved your ship. I thought I just saw magic. Either that or she helped us from back in Arendelle. Can she do that?"

The captain eyed his trusted chief officer carefully. He and Erik had discussed that he _would _need at least one other person in confidence to get Anna and Elsa _off _the ship safely and discreetly. Frederic was young and would be able to deliver a message to Corona castle without being noticed as long as he went and played the poor street boy he had been all the years before when he'd first begged to be allowed aboard as a cabin boy. Now he was a son to him and he trusted Frederic implicitly. "Come with me to my quarters."

"Of course." Frederic followed him to said quarters and waited expectantly for whatever the captain might tell him.

"I need you to deliver a message for me once we arrive in Corona. Not in uniform. The street boy I adopted. I don't want you noticed. You know the princesses are here. They _must _get to their relatives in Corona safely, no matter what. Do not tell anyone they're aboard. If they think it from seeing the magic then so be it, but if anyone asks, we don't know how it happened and she must have stopped the storm somehow from Arendelle. It's magic; no one will question that. Understand?"

"Can she do that?" Frederic was intrigued by this idea. He wanted to talk to her now. They were orphans too, weren't they? Maybe he could take her and Anna one of his woodcarvings he worked on in his free time and say, sorry about your parents. No that was lame. They wouldn't want to talk about that. Besides, he wasn't _really _an orphan anymore with the captain as his dad.

"I don't know. All I know is that girl is our new queen and she is currently under our protection due to circumstances out of everyone's control. My job is to deliver her and her sister safely-and _hidden-_to Corona castle. What happens after that is up to, I suppose I can call her this already, Queen Elsa, and her aunt and uncle in Corona." Frederic's second adoptive father gave him a serious look. "We must act normal. I'd like to think my entire crew is trustworthy, but I will not risk it. The storm is gone and the wind in our favor, so we will sail as fast as possible. If you see _anything _suspicious, please inform me."

Frederic tried to look serious but mostly he was just excited now. "Do you think it would be okay to talk to them?"

"Frederic, let them rest. If you want to see them you will have to ask their servant, Gerda, first. She can decide if either of them are up for any kind of visitor. One is seriously injured and the other is probably traumatized from seeing her sibling like that. We're supposed to be protecting them, not making them into a freak show."

Now Frederic looked amused. "I bet that Elsa could make lots of money and get rich off entertaining people with her magic if she wasn't already a rich royal," he said, clearly thinking this idea was quite funny.

"Don't disrespect her like that. I know you're just joking around, but still do not let me hear you say anything like that again, please."

Frederic appeared suitably chastened, though he still thought his idea was funny.

* * *

Anna jerked awake in the morning to a familiar knock on the door. _Must be Gerda. _She carefully slid off the narrow lower bunk, making sure not to jostle Elsa, who was still sleeping next to her. But then when she opened the door, she also saw a sheepish-looking redheaded boy in an officer's uniform trying to hide behind Gerda but too tall to do so. "Gerda, who is that?" she asked, pointing at the boy.

Gerda was startled and whipped around to see who was behind her. The boy stumbled backwards, his cane smacking against the corridor wall, clearly surprised himself. "I told you to wait until I spoke with them!" she scolded, not caring that this boy was second in command aboard the ship because of his adoptive father. "Miss Anna, I'm sorry. This is Frederic, the captain's adopted son. He saw Miss Elsa's magic last night when she stopped the storm and is going to be the delivery person for contacting your aunt and uncle once we arrive, so he knows you two are here."

"Oh. Well, hi," Anna said politely. She stayed put in the doorway, not letting either Gerda or Frederic in. Elsa was asleep and she was not going to wake her up. Then she realized most likely not everyone had seen Elsa's magic the night before fixing the storm. If that was the case she should retreat into the little cabin and not be attracting attention to this corridor. She glanced back at sleeping Elsa and told Gerda and Frederic to come in. "But be quiet, because my sister is sleeping."

"I brought you two breakfast. Frederic, tell the princess your plan. She can tell Miss Elsa later," Gerda said quietly.

Anna felt she needed to hide Elsa; Elsa would not like some stranger seeing her sleep. So she stood in front of Elsa and stayed put. "I don't want to hear any plan now. Tell Elsa after she wakes up, please," she said in her best politely authoritative voice.

Frederic bowed awkwardly and went out looking very disappointed. "Of course, Princess Anna." He closed the door behind him.

Gerda laughed and shook her head. "He's a bit older than your sister but you would think he was about twelve, some of the things he says and does. Must be smart though considering he's been taught to be second in command already."

"What happened to him that he's got a cane or is that just for show?" Anna asked curiously.

"He needs it but likes showing it off because he did all the carvings on it and painted it himself. Very quick to explain about it; he won't mind telling you." Gerda thought Frederic was quite amusing, but now her amused look faded as she looked at Elsa. "Is she okay? I don't know what she did exactly, but it must have been tiring for her to stop a storm like that."

Anna bit her lip. "I...I don't know. I think so. She _moved _the storm-she didn't get rid of it. Elsa fell asleep almost immediately right after, but she seemed okay. Or at least as okay as she could be. She was happy, at least," she explained.

Gerda touched Elsa's forehead gently. "No fever. That's good. Maybe she's just very tired. Better Miss Elsa sleeps anyway."

"I...'m...fine." Elsa spoke very quietly, but she opened her eyes and blinked at Gerda, clearly still exhausted. _I think I really am fine. I'm just exhausted. Was there some other person in here? I don't even know. I guess it doesn't matter since Anna and Gerda are here._

"You always say that, Elsa!" Anna protested. "You don't sound fine." She gave Elsa's hand a squeeze.

"Tired." Elsa's blue eyes drifted shut again, but she squeezed Anna's hand back, and she had a contented smile on her face. _I'll be all right. Please don't worry, Anna._

_I'm still worried she's not okay but Elsa does need sleep. I should just let her be. _"Okay. We'll let you sleep. I'll be right here," Anna promised.

* * *

Elsa slept peacefully all day long and into the evening. Anna ate her meals and paced back and forth in the little cabin, but she didn't try waking Elsa up again. She checked constantly to make sure Elsa didn't seem restless or sick, but Elsa only continued sleeping calmly. Finally she woke up just as Anna was starting to eat a late evening snack. "...Anna? I didn't miss us arriving, did I?"

"You woke up! Yay!" Anna exclaimed happily, stuffing the rest of her cookie into her mouth. "Are you feeling...sort of okay? I mean I know okay isn't really the right word but you know what I mean." She wrapped her arms around Elsa and hugged her tightly again. Elsa was _there, _she was alive, and she did not seem upset. In fact, she seemed quite content, at least at the moment. _Elsa's gonna be all right. I'm glad she woke up. _"You scared me. I thought I'd lose you or something. I knew you needed to sleep so I didn't wanna wake you up but it was so _long. _I got scared you wouldn't be here any more. I wanted to talk to you."

Elsa felt warm tears as Anna buried her face in her shoulder. _Anna's crying. I made her cry. _"I'm here, Anna. Next time wake me up. I...I'd try my best to talk to you," Elsa said, hugging Anna herself. "And to answer your question, I'm all right. My magic doesn't feel tired or sick, and I don't have such a headache anymore, either. I feel _much _better."

Anna sniffled and pulled away just enough to see Elsa's face. "What about your back?" she asked worriedly. "I don't want you to be hurting at all." _I guess at least Elsa's magic is fine. Nobody can really take care of that for her since we don't know how._

"Anna, it's going to hurt for now no matter what we do. Don't worry about it." Elsa tried to give her a reassuring smile. "I shall take half a dose of that nasty medicine. Only half. I don't like feeling all drugged and strange. It...it makes me worried I won't be in control of myself and make magic mistakes." _Why does Anna look _more _worried instead of less? I tried to be honest! _"Never mind. I'm fine."

"Liar. You're not either fine-you _asking _for the pain medicine tells me that!" Anna exclaimed. Elsa was definitely not unhappy, which was good, but Anna could tell just from looking at her that she was hurting. _Still...I'd rather her be physically in pain than whatever emotional pain she's always been in. Elsa might be hiding her physical hurts, but she seems genuinely happy. And that part is great! _She gently helped Elsa lie back down on her side against the pillows.

_"_I _was _being completely honest and then you looked worried. I don't want you to be worried!"

"Well I'd rather you be honest with me and make me worried than hide how you feel! You don't need to try to protect yourself by not showing your real feelings," Anna shot back; then clapped a hand over her mouth, sure that she'd said something very wrong. _I probably hurt her snapping like that._

Elsa was startled. _I didn't even say anything about that. _"That is...exactly right. Why do you just _know _that...?"

" 'Cause I know you. You might've believed you deserved the bad things that happened to you before but you still didn't like it so you tried to protect yourself by not saying anything. ...Right?" Anna wished yet again that she had broken into Elsa's room years ago. Maybe when she was little she wouldn't have been able to get Elsa out or know how to help her, but _certainly _she could have at least tried and let Elsa know her magic wasn't going to make Anna hate her. _Good. I didn't make her upset._

Elsa nodded shyly. _I still don't want to talk about that anymore though. I have Anna here now, and she loves me despite everything. She makes me feel safe. _"How are we getting _off _the ship unnoticed?" she asked now. Subject changed. Discussing a present plan would be better.

Anna decided not to press Elsa further to discuss any hard things; she clearly did not want to talk about it any more. "I don't know exactly, but the captain has an adopted son, Frederic. He's supposed to help. I think he's just a little bit older than you. Do you want me to get Gerda and ask her to find him?"

"No. I, um...I need to mentally prepare myself to actually discuss anything first. Please." _That should be all right. I don't like having to talk and not knowing what I want to say first. _Elsa was very relieved when Anna immediately said sure and to just let her know when to get him.

"...How long did I sleep? It's dark outside," Elsa said now, realizing the view out the porthole window was black with just pinpoints of stars.

"Almost 24 hours. That's why I was so worried! And then happy when you woke up. You moved the storm at around 11 PM or so last night. It's a bit after 9 PM now. I imagine we'll get to Corona either late tomorrow night or the morning after, I don't know. Something like that. Then we get to meet Aunt Primrose and Uncle Thomas and Rapunzel! Isn't she like exactly your age, Elsa? You guys can be besties." Anna quite liked this idea. While she knew she was far more interested than Elsa in making other friends, she also wanted to get shy Elsa more friends. She deserved them.

"She might not like me," Elsa pointed out, "and how would you like it if cousins you'd never met just randomly showed up at your home needing a place to hide?"

"I'd think it was fun and give them presents and invite them to my room for a sleepover. And if one of them was badly hurt like you I'd spoil her rotten."

Elsa couldn't help laughing. _Anna would, too. I have no doubt about it._

**A/N: Anna and Elsa will arrive in Corona next chapter and have some nice pleasant downtime for a bit. They certainly deserve it:)**

**Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!**

**On to the story!**

ARENDELLE

"Open up! Castle guards!" Erik knocked loudly on the door of the little shack he had gotten a lead to from one of Damian's cohorts that Elsa had apprehended before she and Anna had left Arendelle.

A boy opened the door cautiously and peeked out. "Are you, um, looking for someone?" he asked.

"I told you not to open the door!" a girl's voice sounded from inside.

"I had to, he's from the castle!" the boy shouted back.

Erik was more suspicious now, and he gently pushed the boy aside and stepped in. The interior of the little shack was clean but extremely messy. Under the threadbare carpet he noticed a lump in the center of the floor. "That a trapdoor leading to your cellar, mister?" he asked casually.

The boy looked toward where the angry girl's voice had come from and nodded silently. A girl that appeared a little older than Elsa stormed in. "What are you people doing in our house? We haven't done anything!"

"I have reason to believe a dangerous fugitive is hiding here, and we need to search the cellar. Please move the carpet or I shall be obliged to do so myself," Erik said calmly.

The girl stepped directly onto the carpet, right over the cellar trapdoor. "You're invading our privacy. Did _Princess Anna _authorize this or something?"

Erik stared at the stubborn girl incredulously. "You're out of line. We are authorized to do what is necessary to locate the man that attempted to assassinate the crown princess. Your behavior confirms that you must have _something _hidden there. If the criminal is not here, we will leave you and..." he glanced at the boy, "I assume your brother, monetary compensation for the intrusion. Now let us search."

"She isn't dead?"

Erik's men looked to him for what to do next, hands ready to draw weapons. The girl sounded oddly disappointed; her brother looked terrified and was glancing from his sister to the armed guards and back again. "Jade, you are gonna get _us _killed," the boy said nervously. "C'mon, let them see. I don't get why you helped creepy ol' Damian out of the marketplace and hide here anyway. Sir, he's hiding in our cellar. Please don't hurt my sister."

"Espen! Shut up! You don't understand!"

Erik's sharp gaze softened. "We won't hurt her, but you must understand harboring an attempted murderer can't be tolerated. Men, apprehend Damian. One of you watch Jade. Espen, get your sister to move aside," he ordered. Then, looking straight at Jade, Erik added, "You must be disappointed to know Princess Elsa lives. What can you possibly have against the girl, that you're hiding the man that tried and failed to kill her? She has done nothing wrong."

"_She _hasn't done anything wrong. Her parents did!" Jade spat, undeterred by the two guns trained on her. Erik had told her little brother he would not hurt her and she believed him. The other palace guard holding her by the arm wasn't treating her roughly either; he was merely holding on firmly enough that she couldn't pull away. "I have nothing personal against her."

"Then why support a man attempting to murder her? Is he paying you? You know the normal sentence for attempted regicide is execution. While I don't believe she would, she could sentence you to the same if she wanted to, purely for hiding him!"

Espen glanced from Jade to Erik and back again. "Jade is bitter because our parents died after they got let go from working at the castle. When the gates closed. They couldn't find other work and ended up getting sick and starving to feed us. I don't really remember a whole lot but that's what she said." Espen paused and counted on his fingers, clearly thinking. "That was like ten years ago? So I was only three."

"Damian is paying us some much-needed money for staying here," Jade muttered. "And now it's all for nothing." _Why does he even want to kill Elsa anyway? If she will actually _use _that magic she's got she could do a better job than her parents. But she doesn't know much about it I don't think. I wish I could take it from her._

"Indeed. You're under strict house arrest until further notice. Either that or you will go to the castle dungeon until further notice. Your choice. Of course, once Princess Elsa has recovered, she may alter that sentence as she deems fit." Erik spoke sharply, wanting to stress that _Elsa _held the final authority on such matters, no one else, even though she was still underage. He gave Damian a death stare as the would-be murderer was dragged from the tiny cellar. "You on the other hand. I am highly tempted to kill you myself, you disgusting piece of trash. Let my royal family punish me for insubordination as they see fit."

Damian did not look at all sorry, but he wisely said nothing.

Espen spoke up quietly, "Do, um, do you feed your dungeon prisoners?"

"You and your sister would receive two simple meals per day and unlimited water. You may bring what you please from your house as long as you can carry it yourselves." Erik knew Kai would be fine with that arrangement, and though no one but him and Kai knew it, Elsa wasn't there to change it. _Knowing Elsa, she would probably let Jade and Espen go, _Erik thought reluctantly. _Though, she did fight back in the marketplace. Maybe she wouldn't let them go._

"We should go with these guys, Jade. They're good guys and we won't be hungry," Espen told his sister. The boy glared at Damian. "And you did not either kill Prin-Queen Elsa, you idiot. I'm glad."

"I shot the witch at point blank range! How can she not be?!" Damian protested as he was dragged roughly toward the door.

"You call her by her name and title. Do not persist in disrespecting her like that. I can't believe we _worked _with you for so long," Erik snapped. Though he refused to show it, he was worried Elsa wouldn't make it to Corona. Ideally she shouldn't have been traveling at all, and he knew she had just been putting on a brave face after the incident. His young boss had not been okay at all.

"Lucky for you she isn't dead! Princess Anna would kill you. She still might!" one of the other guards exclaimed. "Good _grief, _it's just magic. There have been rumors of magic in Arendelle forever! It's something neutral. Depends on the person using it, same as any other weapon. She's a good person, it will be good magic. If _you_ had magic, it would be bad magic. End of story! Why are you so adamantly sure she means harm to us all? She used it to capture criminals and save a child. That's the opposite of what you imply!"

"It's unnatural! Shouldn't exist and it's dangerous for everyone else. I want Princess Anna on that throne instead. Not her!" Damian was insistent upon that. "Princess Anna may be naive and far too young, but at least she doesn't have that accursed magic."

Erik stared at him in disbelief. "Are you even thinking what you're saying at all? What do you suppose Princess Anna would do to you if you actually succeeded in murdering her sister?"

"Probably kill me herself. However, that's my sacrifice for the good of society."

Erik reacted impulsively. He hauled back and punched Damian in the face. Then he turned away and ignored him entirely, composure restored. "Miss Jade, make your decision now, if you please."

Jade had an idea that if she agreed to go willingly to the castle _dungeon _of all places, something horrible would happen, no matter what these guards said. If Elsa was told she had been helping Damian, she might take the food and mundane luxuries privileges away at the very least. Then again, it sounded like she could not do her normal duties right now, either. "What about Espen? What's going to happen to him if we go with you? This isn't his fault. He didn't want anything to do with it."

"He can help around the castle if he likes or stay with you in the cell. I can see he didn't want anything to do with it," Erik said firmly. "Decide now, Miss Jade, or I shall be obliged to decide for you. I must get Damian back immediately."

BACK ABOARD SHIP...

_"_

Anna, are you _sure _I look okay enough for...someone besides you and Gerda seeing me?" Elsa asked again the next morning before they planned to speak with Frederic to make their plans to get off the ship. "I don't want anyone to feel bad for me or worse, not take us seriously."

"Elsa. You're wearing your ice-dress, which looks fit for a queen anyways, and we did your hair. You look nice, and besides, why the heck are you expecting yourself to look perfectly fine when you were literally shot just days ago? Give yourself a break," Anna said firmly. "You look fine. The only thing I can visibly see that's not 'fine' is you have dark circles 'cause you're tired. And _I _can tell you're hurting, but nobody else will know. Really."

_Anna wouldn't lie to me about that. _Elsa nodded. "All right. I am going to trust your judgment then," she said decidedly.

Anna gave her a critical look. "Make a fancy chair with your ice and make it soft with snow. You can sit in it while we discuss," she suggested. "But if you start looking like the pain got worse or something you're going right back in bed. So there. I can tell even when you're trying to hide it, so don't bother."

Elsa's cheeks grew pink. "I'm sor-"

"No! Don't be sorry. I'm just not going to let you overdo it. I shall drive you crazy and fuss over you if I have to." Anna gave her a hug, and Elsa happily accepted it. _Well, at least Elsa doesn't have to deal with this all alone. I can help, and once we get to Corona, Uncle Thomas and Aunt Primrose can help me help Elsa. _Anna lifted Elsa and gently set her down in the sparkling creation she'd made in seconds. She considered asking Elsa to make a second for herself to sit in too, but then decided against it. Elsa looked like a queen from a fairy tale in Anna's opinion, and she didn't want to make the effect any less. _I shall just stand next to her or sit on the bed if I want. _"Want me to ask Gerda to get Frederic now?"

Elsa nodded, her hands carefully folded in her lap. She wondered what he _really _thought about her and Anna. Anna put her ear to the door listening for people in the corridor, and Elsa spoke up. "Actually, I think I hear Gerda and another person out there now. The other person must have a walking stick or something. I can hear it."

Anna stared at her in surprise. "You can hear all that?"

"I listened a lot in my room." Elsa smiled a little when they heard Gerda knock and say she had Frederic with her. "See?"

Anna opened the door to let them in, and in seconds Elsa had made three more chairs of ice for the others. To her there was no reason to have everyone except herself standing while they made a plan. Anna was disappointed Elsa was not letting herself keep her miniature icy throne just for her, but she didn't say anything. Frederic looked _very _intrigued and interested. He bowed and kissed Elsa's hand, making Elsa turn bright red and Anna giggle. "At your service, Queen Elsa. My con skills shall help us get you and your sister to your relatives safely," he said quite seriously. Then, "Is Princess Anna a magical ice girl too?"

Frederic sounded so hopeful that Elsa immediately felt she could talk to this boy. Maybe. _And I don't feel comfortable with some weird boy I don't know kissing my hand, but...it also means he's not scared of me and he doesn't hate my powers, either. _"No, but she does help me control my magic," Elsa said after a moment. "...You can sit, you know," she added when he didn't sit down.

The others sat, and Anna spoke up next. "What if we didn't _really _hide at all? Maybe we could say we're going to be our cousin Rapunzel's new servants or something. Also, just call us Anna and Elsa, will you? That okay with you, Elsa?"

Elsa nodded. _Sure, why not, we shouldn't...but it's not going to make any difference, I don't think._

Frederic looked at Elsa and then shook his head. "Won't work. You might be able to pass, but she won't. I, um, I think even if you weren't injured, Qu-Elsa, it would be difficult to be convincing. You just carry yourself too...regal. Ish. Or something, I don't know."

Elsa stared at him. "Then, tell us how to fix that," she said flatly. _And I know he is right. I stand out too much. _"I have never been to Corona. Please...show us how to blend in."

Frederic seemed excited by this prospect. He thought a minute before saying anything else. "Maybe you could send Gerda here to buy more Corona styled clothes. Cheap ones. Not ones a wealthy girl would have. While she does that, I'll deliver the message that you're here to the castle. Then she can bring the clothes back here. Since some of the cargo will be delivered here, we can 'deliver' both of you to the castle with the rest of the delivery hidden in that crate. Your relatives can get you hidden inside the castle somewhere after that."

"Frederic, will those crates be inspected before delivery? Anna and I will be found, and certainly being discovered as stowaways would be worse than risking Anna's idea," Elsa said quietly.

Anna had another idea. "How about we use _both _ideas? We hide in the crate, but Gerda rides along with whoever's delivering the stuff. She lets us out near the castle. Then I say I'm supposed to be Rapunzel's new personal servant. If someone asks about Elsa I just say she's my best friend and she goes where I go. I'm sure Uncle Thomas and Aunt Primrose would go along with it, so if we're questioned, it'll be okay."

_And I could seal the crate shut anyways, _Elsa thought. Then no one could open it from the outside anyways.

"Miss Anna, if someone realizes your sister is injured, it's going to raise more questions and suspicion," Gerda pointed out. "Not to mention the fact that you are two girls that match the ages and physical descriptions of the Arendelle royal sisters."

"I can hide it as long as I am sitting or lying down," Elsa deadpanned. Anna frowned but didn't argue. _I know that's true. Anna can tell, but no one else would._

"It's only E-Elsa's pretty hair that's the issue there, if I may say so," Frederic said, looking at Elsa again. He wished she were not the princess-turned-queen; he liked her a lot already. "It doesn't matter that she's injured. You guys ended up on the wrong side of town and ran into trouble. That's easy to explain. You could even say that's the very reason you want to work within the castle. To keep your friend safe. They just can't see her hair. 'Cause there ain't anyone I ever saw in Corona with hair like that. Actually, both of you are kind of too fair skinned for native Coronians."

Elsa was surprised anyone would say they _liked _her hair. Only Anna and Gerda had ever called her platinum hair pretty. Not only that, he had included _Anna, _who Elsa thought looked perfectly normal, in his 'too fair' assessment. _There's another issue. _"Our accents will give us away. Both of us can speak fluent German, but it'll be obvious we are not from Corona," she said now. _And I know Anna speaks it better than I do, and I write it better than she does._

Anna shook her head. "Maybe not. I'm great at matching accents," she said in German in a perfect accent.

Frederic stared at her. "Well okay then. That was perfect. Now you...?" he asked Elsa hopefully.

"I am sorry, I can't do what Anna just did." Elsa spoke quietly in her very best German, which was clear and understandable, but she still had a noticeable accent. _I'm causing problems again. I used to be proud of my language skills, but...it's not good enough. Not verbally, anyway. On paper, yes._

Frederic shrugged. "Maybe just don't talk unless absolutely necessary, but if asked you grew up in Arendelle mostly and only moved back here a few months ago or something. That explains why you can speak German fluently but sound like you're from Arendelle. Um...is that okay?" he asked hesitantly.

Elsa nodded. "Why...do you know so much about fooling people?"

"Because I grew up on Corona's streets for years until I was adopted. Then I ran away because that family sucked and I found the captain here. He adopted me for real. On the streets you lie to survive and get free stuff and keep yourself and your friends safe." Frederic did not sound one bit sorry about his past at all. "I had a friend. Flynn. I lost him after those horrible people adopted me and I never saw him again, but he saved me and taught me everything I know."

Anna and Elsa traded glances and then said, "We will look for him for you," at the same time.

* * *

As Anna had predicted for Elsa before, the ship docked in Corona at dawn the morning after their discussion with Frederic. The sisters realized it was warmer outside here than back at home. It was still chilly, but 'cold' here was not 'cold' in Arendelle. They could tell even hidden in their crate hideout waiting just in case everything was unloaded _before _they could enact their plan. The only issue was that if that _did _happen, then they would potentially have to wait quite awhile before someone could safely let them out to go inside the castle. The hold was not as freezing as it had been before, though it was wetter than when they had been down here before. Anna thought she could probably sleep outside here without Elsa's snow shelter she'd made during the visit to the troll valley and not freeze. Now that they were actually _here, _Anna was more excited than nervous despite the journey to safety not really being over yet. _Why am I even awake? _Next to her Elsa lay awake but still. "Are you all right?" Anna whispered.

Elsa only squeezed Anna's hand in response. Footsteps were coming, and they had no way of knowing who it was since Elsa did not recognize the steps. She closed her eyes and concentrated on Anna's presence beside her. _I don't need to be scared. This isn't the dungeon and it isn't my closet. And I have Anna_.

Anna stayed very still with Elsa; the footsteps faded away. Someone must have just been checking something. Then the steps came back and forth several more times. It sounded like barrels and crates were being moved out. Tiny snowflakes landed on Anna's nose. "Elsa, you're snowing," she whispered. _I don't know if they'll show outside our crate or not._

Elsa flinched and her hand grew tense. _Stop it, Elsa, calm down. You are going to give yourself away. _Anna didn't say anything else; she just gave Elsa a hug, hoping that would help. The snowflakes stopped falling just as they felt the crate being dragged. Gerda hadn't come back with the clothes obviously, and Elsa wondered what on earth someone was going to think if they found her and Anna. No one could open the crate from the outside since Elsa had sealed it with ice, but that still left the problem of getting out of wherever the containers were delivered to.

The two of them were slammed from one side of the crate to the other as their hiding spot was evidently taken up on the deck. Anna held Elsa tightly, trying to take the brunt of the impacts herself. The pillows and blankets could only do so much to cushion them. Elsa didn't make a sound, but she was biting her lip and clinging to Anna. Anna hit her head against the side of the crate and made a stifled squeak. _Please nobody hear that, _Elsa thought. She would make sure Anna was okay once all the motion stopped. Right now she needed to concentrate on staying silent herself. If she could move properly she would be trying to protect Anna from slamming on the sides. _And I can't. I can't brace myself, let alone hold Anna. _If she used her magic to try cushioning the sides, the small glow it made might give them away. _I should have cushioned the sides with snow the second we went in here._

They heard someone saying, "Load that one on the castle delivery wagon. It's a gift. No throwing the crates or barrels. Be careful." The captain's voice. He must know they were inside this one.

Anna stiffened as the crate evidently went down the unload dock and into the wagon in question. Elsa was shaking, but since she wasn't cold, Anna knew it was because she was in pain. _Please be okay, Elsa. We just need to make it to the castle and then you can rest in a nice warm bed._

Elsa was grateful for Anna holding her; she still felt safe in their hiding spot even though they really weren't, especially with the risk of the crate being dumped or thrown by accident or something. She felt the wagon start moving after awhile and she finally felt it was all right to whisper a quick, "I'm all right. Thank you. Did you hit your head?" to Anna.

"Don't worry about me. I'm not the one who was shot," Anna whispered back, but she was glad Elsa had said something, even if she didn't believe that Elsa was okay. _We're headed to the castle and surely Uncle Thomas and Aunt Primrose can help Elsa feel better. My head hurts but I don't care right now._

The sisters sat in silence and listened to the unfamiliar sounds outside. Anna spotted a tiny crack in their crate, but if she wanted to peek through it she would have to stop holding Elsa, and she didn't want to do that. The wagon rolled along smoothly, and the pillows that had not been helpful with the more violent motions were helpful again. Anna felt tense Elsa slowly relax, and she relaxed herself.

After a seemingly long time, the wagon stopped and they heard guards asking what this delivery was for. _This is the dangerous part. Things did not go as planned. Anna and I cannot be found now. I'm glad I sealed our crate. At least we _can't _be dumped or dragged out even if someone does get suspicious._

* * *

Inside the castle, Frederic's note from the captain delivered to one of the guards at the gates made it to Primrose unopened after being passed through several hands. Rapunzel watched her mother curiously, holding Eugene's hand. Primrose seemed concerned but also excited. "Who's it from?" Rapunzel asked curiously.

"This is your cousin's handwriting mostly! It's from Anna and a ship's captain from Arendelle that delivers goods here often; evidently Anna and Elsa trust him. There aren't many details, presumably for safety, but they're here in Corona as of this morning and need help. They will need to hide." Primrose thought for a moment and then turned to Eugene. "Check the deliveries for today, please, and have the crates and barrels stored in the stables until you can check them. They must be hidden that way. We need to find the girls and get them inside without being recognized. Rapunzel, go to your room and bring back two of your plainest cloaks and give them to Eugene. That will hide their clothes."

Rapunzel ran off to do as she was told, excited to meet her Arendelle cousins, even if they were visiting unexpectedly because they were in trouble. She snatched two plain cloaks from her room and came back carrying them. "Here they are! Oh I'm so excited to meet them!" she exclaimed happily.

Thomas looked up at her from where he was doing paperwork. "Rapunzel, you _must _act completely normal, do you understand me? We don't know what's going on exactly. Whatever it is must be serious, and if they need to hide, then none of us can act any differently than usual," he said quietly.

Rapunzel nodded and tried to look serious. "I will. Can Elsa and Anna stay in my room? Where are we going to hide them?"

"Most likely in plain sight. No one here has seen the Arendelle princesses, so we needn't worry so much about someone recognizing them as if they had been in the public eye for years. We'll figure something out. For now you've got two new ladies-in-waiting and they go into the empty maids' room adjoining yours that the princess's servants would usually go in. That means we won't be able to hire you any real servants until they go home, but I know you don't care anyway. If that won't work for any length of time we'll figure something else out. But I think that would be simplest. It's not fair to Anna and Elsa to not give them a real guest room, but they'll be safe at least." Thomas smiled at his daughter. "You can lock all the doors to prevent unwanted snooping visitors and spend time in your room with them if you like."

Rapunzel was satisfied with this; it would be fun to have a secret sleepover with her cousins. She couldn't wait to meet them.

* * *

In the stables, Eugene was checking the unloaded crates and barrels for Rapunzel's cousins. There were not many this time, and since the Arendelle girls were in none of the ones he had opened and then closed again, they must be in the last one that he'd been unable to open. Then he wondered how on earth he was going to get them out if he couldn't open it. Finally he just said, very very quietly, "Princess Anna, Princess Elsa, I can't get you out because the lid is stuck and I can't break it because then someone will know I'm checking all of these. I'll be back with help." If he was talking to Fresh Produce like it said on the big crate, then so be it. But he wanted to be sure that if his girl's cousins were trapped in there, they knew he was a friend and would come back.

Inside the crate, Anna and Elsa had been just sitting perfectly still in silence, worried that the person who had been checking all the delivered containers wasn't someone that should find them. Now Anna whispered for Elsa to unseal their crate. "Please, Elsa. We heard him say he was Rapunzel's husband and whoever the other people were listened to him even if they were displeased about it."

Eugene turned back, hearing Anna's whisper but not the exact words. "I get if you guys don't trust me but I will come back. I'll bring Blondie-I mean Rapunzel-so you can trust me."

"Wait," Anna called as loud as she dared. "Elsa, please. I know you're scared but we can't stay here indefinitely."

Elsa finally did as Anna asked. Anna pushed the crate open and blinked up at Eugene. "Hi!"

"Oh!" Eugene jumped and stared at the girl in front of him with messy red hair. _How did she open that crate if I couldn't? Must be rigged. _"You must be Anna. Let's get you guys inside. I brought a couple cloaks for you from Punzie."

"Great." Anna crawled back inside the crate and then emerged carrying Elsa. She kicked the crate closed. Elsa blinked at the sudden light and said a quiet hello. "Elsa's hurt. She needs help."

Eugene gulped. Getting an injured girl back inside unnoticed would be difficult and he hadn't been prepared for that. He whipped around when he heard someone coming and quickly shoved the cloaks at Anna and Elsa. "Put these on. Quickly. I'll get you both inside. Hide that you're injured if you can."

Anna knelt, setting Elsa down so she could put the cloaks on herself and Elsa. Elsa shook her head even as Anna pulled the cloak over her hair. "I'm ruining our chances already. I can't hide not being able to stand," she whispered, clearly nervous.

"We'll be fine. They can't see your hair and this isn't Arendelle. They're not going to think it's Princess Elsa," Anna said firmly. _If anything we'll be in major trouble for trespassing, _she thought but didn't say aloud. She gently lifted Elsa again, making sure the cloaks covered their clothes and Elsa's hair.

"Who are those girls?" the castle guard demanded of Eugene. "Bringing strangers into the castle walls again? I'm not sure King Thomas would approve of some of the company you keep," he said, referring to the people he'd known 'Flynn Rider' had associated with. He still did not like Eugene even if the Coronian royal family accepted him.

Eugene answered smoothly. "_I'm _not sure King Thomas would approve of you talking to his son-in-law with such disrespect," he blustered.

"_Who are those girls?_" the guard demanded again. "You cheating on the princess already?"

Anna was mad now and felt she had to speak up. "I should say not!" she exclaimed, using the same perfect accent she had demonstrated for Frederic before.

The guard looked at her and Elsa curiously. "Why are you here?"

"I, um...My friend and I are going to be Princess Rapunzel's new servants and he's just showing us the stables," Anna blurted, earning a _good thinking _glance from Eugene and a sigh from Elsa. _Oh. Oh crap. It's just me that's supposed to be that. Not Elsa. She can't._

"Really." Clearly the guard wasn't convinced, though he no longer seemed mad. He looked more puzzled than anything. "How does your friend do her job?"

Eugene stepped between them. He appeared completely unruffled, though Elsa could tell he was nervous too. "She's a seamstress," he said quickly, going along with Anna's comment. "She's making Punzie some new dresses." Then he pushed Anna and Elsa in front of him and headed out of the stables before more questions could be asked.

They made it into the castle without being stopped again; it seemed that being with Eugene meant fewer questions would be asked. Two more guards asked who Eugene had with him, but they did so politely and didn't question the 'Punzie's new servants' explanation and didn't seem to look too closely at Anna and Elsa. Soon they were in the royal family's personal quarters of the castle, and Eugene relaxed. "Should be safe now. Here's Blondie's room. I think you'll be safest here, at least for now." He opened the door, and he was greeted by a very excited Rapunzel.

"Hi Eugene! Are these my cousins?!" Rapunzel exclaimed happily. "They must be. They look like paler versions of Mom. But way younger. And they're wearing my old cloaks. Come in. We're going to have so much fun while you're here."

Eugene shook his head. "Okay, I'm going to find your parents and let them know I successfully got Princess Anna and Princess Elsa in safely. Lock the door and don't open it for anyone but your parents or me. Please."

"Got it."

Anna felt sure everything was really going to be okay now. It was going to be like a nice vacation and poor Elsa would be able to finally relax. She stepped into Rapunzel's room, still holding Elsa, and she thanked Eugene before he shut the door. "Hi! I, um, I'm _really _happy to finally meet you, but could we have a place Elsa can lie down? Please? Elsa has got to rest. I'm scared she's not okay."

Rapunzel's excited expression faded as she looked at her cousins closer. Anna had a dark bruise forming on her forehead, Elsa looked way too pale, and Anna was carrying Elsa besides. Something had to be very wrong. "Sure. I'm sorry. I was just so excited you were here and I could finally meet you I didn't realize you guys were hurt. You can rest as long as you want." Rapunzel took her cousins to the adjoining room to hers that was supposed to be for the princess's personal servants. "I know this room isn't nearly as fancy as you probably have got at home, but Dad said we're gonna hide you in plain sight as my, ummmm, ladies-in-waiting. You don't have to _do _anything, obviously, but then you can hide out in here without anybody thinking something's weird. Just keep the door locked."

"That's fine," Elsa said quietly. "It...it looks nice. Thank...thank you." _And please don't hate me, _she couldn't help thinking. She winced as Anna gently on one of the two beds. Everything hurt worse now from being thrown around inside that crate, but she didn't want to say anything about it. Anna was hurt too. Elsa watched her little sister stretch stiffly and then sit beside her. "Anna, you're hurt. You hit your head," she whispered.

"Don't care. A bruise and headache won't kill me," Anna said firmly, looking at Elsa's drawn face. She looked worse than she had since right after Anna had carried her into the chocolate shop right after the incident. "I'm so worried about you." _I don't think Elsa's unhappy, but she's hurting really bad and she can't hide it right now. _On a sudden impulse, she gently pushed the cloak aside to try to check Elsa's back. The red on her old outfit explained the problem. _Elsa's wound must have torn open being thrown around like that. No wonder she's hurting so much. _"Elsa, why didn't you say anything?"

Elsa didn't answer; she was sure she knew what had happened and there had been absolutely nothing she and Anna could do hiding in that crate, so she'd just said nothing. Now she just closed her eyes, her cheeks flaming in embarrassment. She wished this wasn't the first impression Rapunzel had of her, and she couldn't change that now.

Rapunzel looked from one cousin to the other, feeling awkward. "What, um...what happened to you? Did you guys get attacked and have to escape or something? Where's the bad guys now?"

"Yes, it's a long story and I'll tell you _all _of it, I promise, but right now I gotta get Elsa help," Anna said quickly. "She was shot a few days ago, like right before we left Arendelle. We did get it tended to properly before, but I think getting thrown around in the crate we were hiding in tore the wound open again. That's how I banged my head. I tried to protect her but I guess I couldn't completely."

"Yikes! That sounds scary. You're right, let's get you guys taken care of first and then you can tell me all about it. Elsa, would you let me help or would you rather I got my mom? I'll do whatever you want." Rapunzel wished she still had her healing magic, but that couldn't be helped. They would have to heal Elsa the old-fashioned way. "Just lemme know what you need."

Elsa's blue eyes filled with tears, not because of the pain, but because Rapunzel was simply asking her what she wanted. Even though she had barely said anything at all, Rapunzel was still addressing her directly and was _asking her what she needed. _Somehow a bit of her had still expected to just be pushed aside or unwanted here, and instead she had gotten nothing but kindness. Even that guard that had snapped at them and Eugene...it seemed he'd just been trying to make sure there were no intruders and didn't completely trust Eugene. If Uncle Thomas and Aunt Primrose were like Rapunzel, she wished she could stay here forever, though she _did _miss Arendelle itself.

"Hey did I say something wrong? I'm sorry if I did! Or if it's 'cause you're hurting really bad, we'll fix it. You're both safe here."

"N-no. It's just..." Elsa looked to Anna. _Please say something. I can't explain, I can't. It sounds ridiculous._

Anna held Elsa's cold hand tightly. "You made Elsa so happy she cried," she said simply, knowing that was _exactly _what had happened. _Goodness knows Elsa's done the same with me before. "_Maybe get Aunt Primrose? Or even just some supplies so we can take care of Elsa ourselves. Just...something. That would be great."

"Okay. I can do that."

Rapunzel took off, and Anna stayed put with Elsa, though she made sure to lock the door after her. "You're gonna be okay now, Elsa. We're safe. I know Aunt Primrose and Uncle Thomas will help. They already have." She wanted to sleep herself, but she wouldn't rest until Elsa was taken care of. Not til then.

"The outside of me feels terrible, but the inside part is _so happy," _said Elsa. "It feels...surreal." _And I hope it doesn't stop._

Anna knew it probably made her entitled and greedy, but she thought their relatives were being kind, yes, but not any more than they should be. Of course they would take care of Elsa. _And Elsa's happy because people are being kind to her. Family members are willing to care for her. I know that's what it is. She's still used to being treated like...before._ "I'm very glad you're happy."

Rapunzel returned with her mother a few minutes later. Instantly Primrose went into action. First she greeted her nieces. She gave Anna a hug, and then she asked Elsa if she minded a hug too. Elsa blinked at her in surprise, her eyes big and round. "N-no, I don't mind," she whispered.

"Then, you shall have one the second we get your injuries cared for. Rapunzel tells me you were shot. I'm no doctor, but as it's not a good idea for us to let anyone know what happened, I think Rapunzel and I should take care of it as best we can for now. Will that be all right?" Primrose looked so much like Idun, and she didn't seem remotely nervous about being near Elsa, either. "Please give Anna some ice or snow for her head, if you can do that."

Elsa's expression grew even more surprised. She nodded and thrust a handful of snow at Anna, who grinned and accepted it. "Wonderful. Anna, help your sister get these ruined clothes off. Rapunzel, get an extra blanket and a dressing gown. Elsa, hold the blanket over yourself so you're more comfortable with this." Primrose gave more rapid-fire simple instructions to the girls, making the uncomfortable process go faster for Elsa, who still absolutely hated anyone trying to help when she was hurt. Elsa opened her mouth to protest, but Primrose only gave her shoulder a squeeze and shook her head. "No one's going to see anything except your back, I promise. It's okay, Elsa," Primrose said gently. "Please let us help you get better."

_You can't fix me, _Elsa wanted to say. _Why are you trying to help? Aren't you going to be disappointed and leave me alone too? _She thought of her aunt _telling _her to make snow to give Anna for her head. Primrose must not mind her, then. Elsa didn't protest any more.

Soon Elsa lay under the covers in the borrowed dressing gown, her back still burning with pain and feeling achy all over, but inside she felt safe and happy. And _surprised. _Despite Anna's claims that their Corona relatives would be happy to have her, it still surprised her. She and Anna had just appeared at their doorstep and still they were doing _everything _to care for her and Anna. She whispered a thank-you. Elsa felt an unfamiliar hand touching hers, and she pulled her hand away, closing her eyes again. "Why are you being so...kind to me?"

"Because Thomas and I love our not-so-little Arendelle nieces. Both of them," Primrose said simply. She sent Rapunzel back to get some snacks so she could talk to Anna and Elsa a little by herself. Rapunzel sighed disappointedly but obeyed. Anna just sat on the bed next to Elsa. "Now would you two like to try explaining what happened that made you come here, or would you like to sleep awhile first?"

Elsa glanced to Anna. Anna probably would want her to sleep for a few hours first, but she felt they at least owed their relatives an explanation. Certainly two nieces they never saw appearing on their doorstep in need of help needed to be explained. "We'll try to explain. I...we...just...thank you for everything," she stuttered awkwardly.

Instead of answering that, Primrose gave her the hug she had promised before. Elsa was no longer the tiny toddler she had been last time Primrose had seen her, but she still seemed shy and she still wanted hugs, even if she didn't ask for them.

Anna beamed at Primrose, the message clear that she loved seeing someone else care for Elsa and be kind to her. "I can explain mostly. Elsa, you just fill in what I miss. You know about the accident when Elsa and I were little. And the trolls changing my memories? Well we went back to the troll valley alone to fix them. That part was fine. But, we have had this creep Damian. He doesn't like Elsa's magic."

"Yes, Elsa sent a business letter asking for him to be searched for discreetly here. Thomas knows about this man, too." Primrose was nodding in understanding now. She looked at Elsa, who was lying down on her side again but definitely alert and wanting to hear this conversation. "Is this man Damian responsible for attacking you?"

Elsa nodded, her cheeks red in embarrassment again. "I know we shouldn't have been traveling alone..."

"Perhaps not, but _how _did he get to you? If he's been missing after the initial traitorous act, then how would he know where you were? You were assaulted outside the castle walls, yes? Not inside your home?"

Elsa nodded again.

Anna scowled. "We went to the chocolate shop on the way home. Elsa decided she wanted to wait outside for me. Damian found her and she ended up revealing herself and using her magic in public to protect everyone else from getting hurt. He wanted to expose her powers and get her targeted as a witch, but since she had just protected a little kid from getting hurt with said powers and caught Damian's stupid goons with ice, all the people just got mad at him instead." She paused and looked at Elsa. _Why does she look embarrassed? She did a good thing!_

"And somehow Elsa was shot by accident? Was he using citizens to force her into acting with her magic?" Primrose asked.

Elsa shook her head. "No, it was definitely on purpose. He wanted to kill me and appear a hero for it. The bullet was infused with some...some other kind of magic. At least one of his men was a mercenary. I don't know for sure, but...I-I think they did not c-care one way or the other. He...he offered Erik information in exchange for no death penalty. And supposedly Mom...mom a-and Dad are in Weselton." She hesitated before adding, "We left Arendelle because there is s-some sort of mole on the inside. It wasn't safe. Kai a-and Erik are going to try to find said mole discreetly so we...so we can go home." _Why am I scared talking to Aunt Primrose? Stop it, Elsa. Just stop. _"I'm sorry."

Primrose gave Elsa's hand a gentle squeeze. "Anna, Elsa, I think we need to tell Thomas all this as well. I'm going to fetch him for you now, paperwork be darned. He can tell you both hello now and help make plans to counter this another day. You both need sleep," she said firmly. She stood up and added, "And, Elsa, do not worry. He will be kind to you too." Elsa's already cautious expression had grown frightened the second she'd heard Thomas's name. _Either she trusts us enough to let us see she's frightened, which I doubt-she doesn't know us-or she can't hide it, in which case...why didn't her parents get her help before? If they couldn't care for her they could have sent her here. Goodness knows I offered before. My sister _wanted _her to at least come for an extended visit and it never happened. _"I'll be back. Do not open the doors for anyone but Rapunzel. You're safe in here."

* * *

"They are lucky to be alive then," was Thomas's immediate reaction when Primrose quickly told him what Anna and Elsa had told her. "We must keep them here at least until Elsa recovers. Certainly if it's true Agdar and Idun are trapped in Weselton, then Elsa is probably capable of rescuing them on her own if she uses her magic, but I am sure she wouldn't know how and she's still only one person. We'll need to assist her." He had a thoughtful expression as he headed with his wife back to Rapunzel's room which connected directly to Anna's and Elsa's simple but comfortable hideout.

"Thomas! The girl is not a weapon, poor thing. She can't even stand up. Anna and Elsa didn't say anything, but I think that shot paralyzed her. I wish we could just keep both of them here permanently," Primrose said quietly.

"She's capable of being one if she chooses, though, and I imagine she must have used her magic _after _being shot too, yes? One, she may fully recover, and two, if she doesn't, it doesn't prevent her from using her power. Elsa just needs a safe place to practice, that's all. No, she's not a weapon, but people will think she is. Therefore Elsa needs to be able to use her magic as one if necessary." Thomas knocked lightly on the door, and Rapunzel answered, recognizing her father's voice in the hall.

"Hi Dad! We're eating snacks and having tea," Rapunzel said happily. "And playing chess. My big ol' fancy bed is plenty big enough for all of us. Elsa can stay lying down and still be included and Anna and I can lie down too." She climbed back on the bed, making some of the chess pieces fall over. "Though, Elsa already fell asleep. She said she loves being here though."

Primrose smiled; she was not at all surprised that Rapunzel had wasted no time in turning a bad situation into fun for all three girls. "Did you lock the door that leads straight into the hallway from the other room though?"

"Yes and Elsa sealed it with ice, actually. The window too. Nobody's getting into that room unless they break through the wall or come in through Punzie's room," Anna piped up. "You're Uncle Thomas. Hi. And thank you for having us even all unexpected like this."

"We did tell you that you were welcome anytime. I just didn't expect to see you under dangerous circumstances, that's all. We're happy to have you here and we'll help business-wise too. Rest for a day or two before any of us tackle the big issues," Thomas said. "You'll be here for Christmas, so we will make a nice holiday vacation for you as well, even if you just stay inside the princess suite the entire time."

Elsa woke up at the new voices and wondered what she should say now. It felt ironic to her that while they were again trapped indoors within a castle, she didn't _feel _trapped at all. _If I didn't hurt so much, I'd feel like everything was perfect for me right now despite the outside trouble I need to take care of. And I feel something...different, too. What is it?_

"I'm sorry I can't give you two a tour right now, but I think it will be safest if you stay hidden away here. At least for now. Elsa. Will that be all right?" Thomas noticed Elsa had woken up and seemed to be staring at him. Remembering Anna's previous letter, he did _not _want her to feel like she was forced into being locked away in a room again.

Elsa stared some more and slowly nodded. _Is that all right? Is Uncle Thomas crazy? Of course it's all right! _She wondered why he had even asked her that in the first place. Nobody was telling her to get away from Anna. Nobody was saying she shouldn't be near Rapunzel. Nobody had even just left her in the other room alone, which would have seemed reasonable to her and would not have made her sad. In fact, _everyone _was actually including her even though she couldn't really do anything right now. "I...I love it here. I don't mind staying inside just these rooms at all. It's cozy." _I'm not even just pretending to be okay with that, or just making myself deal. I really don't mind._

"Well, if either of you need or want anything, let one of us know and we'll get it for you. Were you able to bring any luggage of any kind with you? Anything at all?"

"One trunk. I...I imagine Gerda is back on the ship wondering if we are okay. I don't need anything myself, but could y-you maybe...make sure she knows we're all right?" Elsa asked hesitantly. _Is it really okay to request something? Stop it, Elsa, of course it is. Don't be ridiculous._

"Of course. Do you want her to come stay here or go home to Arendelle? We will get the trunk here somehow too." Thomas waited for Elsa to answer; she didn't seem _scared _of him so much now, but she was still staring at him and seemed very surprised.

"Stay. Please. I...if we will be here for Christmas, I want Gerda to be here." Elsa wanted the one grownup that had _always _taken care of Anna and her their whole lives, no questions asked, to be there for the first Christmas she was actually looking forward to for the first time since she was little.

Thomas nodded. "Very understandable. Let Primrose and I take care of her for you. You stay here and take care of yourself. I would like you and Anna to know about one other important thing for now. Both of you need rest, and the rest of us need to go about our everyday business so no one will think anything is different." He smiled at all three girls and nodded at Rapunzel. "Please show your cousins how to get into the tiny safe room and lock it closed from the inside. Hopefully none of us will ever need it, but just in case, I want them to know."

Elsa thought of the secret passages in her own castle back at home and wondered if the castle here had them as well. She watched curiously as Rapunzel pulled a bookcase in her room aside and slid a panel in the wall up, revealing a dark, narrow room beyond. It looked to be about six feet long and two or three feet wide. If all three of them had to hide in there, it would be very cramped. Elsa did not want to go in there one bit, but it was nice to know the safe room was there anyway.

Anna reached for Elsa's hand and gave it a squeeze. "That's cool. I hope we haven't got to go in there, but it's nice to know it's there," she said, mirroring Elsa's thoughts.

Elsa seemed to suddenly be intensely focused on Rapunzel, and she pushed herself up on one elbow. She was feeling a bit better now and sensed something different she hadn't noticed before. The _different _something she was feeling...she recognized it now. _There is other magic here that isn't mine. I...feel it. Something in or on or near Rapunzel. "_I...I don't know how I didn't know it before, but...you have _something _magical here. Something that is not mine," she said softly. _There...there's something else like me _here_? Is my cousin magical like me? Is that why Uncle Thomas and Aunt Primrose didn't push me away and aren't scared?_

Rapunzel was startled, and she twisted a bit of her short brown hair around a finger. "I...I _used _to have magic. Healing magic from a golden flower. But, um...I lost it. I mean, if I still had it, I'd have healed you guys."

"Lost it? Punzie, were you born with it like Elsa?" Anna asked curiously. Elsa could not lose hers because she had been born with it, so Rapunzel shouldn't have lost hers either. _Right? If Punzie has healing magic, maybe she can help Elsa._

"Well, yeah, but after everything that happened trying to escape from Mother Gothel, Eugene cut my hair and-I guess this all probably makes no sense and I should tell all of it later, but...my hair used to be really really long and golden blonde and it would light up when I sing and it could heal. And after it's cut, I can't anymore." Rapunzel glanced at Elsa. _But I did heal Eugene somehow after that. Like with a tear or something? We were so surprised with the miracle that I'm not really sure. I always thought that was a one-time thing. Maybe Elsa's right. _"You really feel I have magic?"

Elsa slowly nodded. "Maybe it's...magical residue, if there is such a thing, but I feel _something."_ Part of her wished _she _could lose her magic the way her cousin had. Why was she still stuck with potentially dangerous ice powers and Rapunzel had lost her healing powers, something that would _never _be dangerous to others and that she obviously missed? "Can you take mine away?" she asked hesitantly. _But I did help. I moved a storm. I have had fun with Anna. I...don't want it to go away anymore. Not so much at least._

"Elsa, that is part of you. I don't think you would want anyone to do so even if it was possible," Thomas cut in.

Anna had a different idea. She thought about Elsa saying she couldn't channel her magic through her legs anymore after she'd been shot, but that she didn't feel like she had _lost _any of her innate magic. Elsa had only lost a channel for her magic to use because the injury had paralyzed her, not the magic itself. Maybe Rapunzel and her magic worked the same way. "Maybe your hair is just a channel and you can use it in a different way," she suggested.

"Gosh I _hope _you're right, but I don't know how and I've tried. Believe me I've tried," Rapunzel mumbled, feeling bad both because she had genuinely liked having her magic and because she didn't think she could help Elsa. "I'm really really sorry, Elsa. I...I don't think I can help you."

Elsa's quiet voice sounded sharp now. "Do not be sorry. You already helped me by being so nice. I, um...it makes me happy to know another girl has, or used to have, magic like me." _I want to know what happened to my cousin. She hasn't always been safe here at home with her parents. Bad things happened to her too. Not just Anna and me. _Elsa wondered if Rapunzel was scared of talking to people just like her, or if she basked in that sort of thing the way Anna did.

Rapunzel's cheeks turned a bit pink, and she impulsively gave Elsa a hug. "Me too. I didn't know I wanted to meet someone else with magic til I knew about you."

Anna was so happy, she pounced on both of them with a hug; then hopped up again. Elsa was clearly happy, but she had flinched and Anna was very sure pouncing on her with a hug had probably hurt. Either that or she simply felt overwhelmed with _two _people hugging her at once. _Probably both, _Anna thought. But Elsa was smiling and reached for Anna; she seemed more puzzled than hurt. "Are you okay?" Anna asked.

Elsa nodded. _I'm fine. You both just startled me. _She felt a bit as if she had landed in some other world or something similar. These relatives she didn't know at all were so nice, all of the surroundings were different than at home, and she was just dropped into the center of it. It wasn't a _bad _feeling, but it did feel strange. Even her physical hurts felt odd to her; it wasn't at all like when her magic had felt horrible before, and it wasn't something she was knowingly causing herself by refusing to let all that power buildup out. This was normal pain, the same Anna or anyone else would feel. The magic did not hurt. It was only sad because she couldn't use it the same way anymore, and somehow after helping move the natural storm, it didn't feel all wrong inside any longer either.

Elsa was very, very glad Damian had not tried to hurt Anna too.

Thomas spoke up. "Anna, Elsa, I'd like you two to sleep awhile. Rapunzel, you usually enjoy going out in the city with Eugene in the afternoon after your mom does lessons with you. You can skip lessons for today since that's private business, but I'd like you to still go off with Eugene today. People are used to seeing you do that now." Then he spoke to Anna only, "Make sure Elsa stays still. I imagine she'll listen to you. Maybe the three of you can figure out how to get Punzie's healing magic back, but for now we're stuck with ordinary means, so Elsa, _you stay put. _Understand?"

"We understand," Anna said quickly. Rapunzel and Elsa both nodded.

"Good. One of us will bring you dinner, and we'll find and bring Gerda here too. Please sleep. You're safe here."

Once all three of their relatives had left, Anna whispered to Elsa, "Why does Punzie still have her own room if she's married?"

Elsa laughed. "I don't know. Ask her when she comes back."

**A/N: Next chapter coming soon!:)**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing!:)**

**On to the story!**

_"_Your cousins aren't what I expected," Eugene teased _very _quietly as he walked out into the city with Rapunzel.

"Shush," Rapunzel scolded in a whisper, but she thought the streets were plenty loud enough that no one would hear.

"Blondie, nobody can hear me but you. You can probably barely hear me."

"...True." Rapunzel skipped a bit and kept walking.

"Anna is not princess-y at all except that she's bossy. She reminds me of you. And Elsa, well. I dunno about her, she's a bit confusing. She carries herself like a royal but then when you look closer she's...I don't know." Eugene frowned. "Actually I know _exactly _what else she reminds me of. When I've seen you cry because you said you didn't feel like a princess and don't know everything the crown princess should. Particularly the times you cry about that horrible b-"

"Eugene! Don't you dare finish that!" Rapunzel squeaked. "Yeah I know you hate Mother Gothel, and I _know _she...wasn't nice, but she still raised me all those years since she stole me. I wish she didn't have to die so I could...escape, that's all." _I wish she had just _asked _instead of stealing me. I wouldn't have minded using my magic for her. She didn't have to do all the things she did._

Eugene was not at all sorry the creepy old woman was dead and thought she'd fully deserved it, so he didn't say anything else about it. "Let's just go paint the mural inside the library some more this afternoon. I know you wanna go back home since your cousins are here, but we're supposed to do normal stuff, right?"

"Yeah. So nobody gets suspicious." Rapunzel bounced excitedly from one foot to the other, waving at people that waved to her as she walked. "I hope Dad lets us share my room soon. Like once Anna and Elsa are able to go home. Not that I want them to go of course because I definitely don't!"

"Hey I'm just happy he gave me a chance." Eugene grinned and put his arm around her shoulders. "Married in name only isn't so bad. I think Thomas just wanted to stop all those proposals you were probably getting, the gorgeous Lost Princess suddenly appearing all grown up out of nowhere." Privately he also knew from Primrose that the decision had more to do with letting Rapunzel get used to _being _the princess and healing inside without immediately throwing her into being a grownup married woman. She was only eighteen, just like Elsa, after all. _And I bet they just want their daughter to be their kid for a bit since they didn't get to watch her grow up._

Rapunzel rested her head on his chest as they kept walking. "Do you think I still have magic?" she asked abruptly.

"What makes you ask that again now all of a sudden?" _No, I think you used the last of it to save me._

"Elsa. She said she...felt magic. From me," Rapunzel whispered so softly Eugene could barely hear her. "I felt so bad I couldn't do anything. She wasn't upset, but...still."

"Maybe she's just in pain and not thinking straight," Eugene said carefully, not wanting to get Rapunzel's hopes up for nothing. "I mean...I got the impression she doesn't really know a whole lot about her own magic. Why would Elsa know about yours?"

Rapunzel shook her head hard. "Not knowing much is why she didn't notice it immediately. She even said as much. And she's definitely not, not thinking straight, because she was playing chess before she fell asleep earlier and kicking my butt at it. And I think I'm good at chess," she said.

Eugene walked with her up the steps into the public library. "Let's talk some more about that when we get back since it'll be too quiet in here to talk without being overheard. All right?"

"'Kay."

* * *

Inside their safe hideout in the Corona castle, Elsa slept peacefully most of the afternoon. Anna slept awhile and then just sat next to Elsa reading one of Rapunzel's books. Usually Anna thought she would prefer going outside part of the day, but right now it was nice just staying resting with Elsa. Besides, it wasn't safe for her to venture out from the princess suite anyways. _Though, I bet I could try blending in fine if I was by myself, _Anna thought. _But I shan't leave Elsa behind, and I know she can't go out anywhere here right now, even if she wasn't hurt. It's not safe._

Now Anna noticed a few telltale snowflakes floating around Elsa, and she frowned, gently tugging at Elsa's arm. "Elsa, it's okay. Wake up. It's just a dream, whatever it is. Please don't cry! I mean, never mind, if you have to that's okay but I don't want you to be sad."

Elsa abruptly jerked awake and tried to get up, her blue eyes still frightened. _Anna. Anna is right there. Is she okay? She was hurt and I couldn't help her. What-_

"Elsa. Quit struggling, it's just me. You're going to hurt yourself more. Uncle Thomas told me to make you stay still, remember?" Anna's worried voice cut into Elsa's thoughts, and she just stared. Anna was not hurt. _She _was hurt instead. Not Anna. This was the way it was supposed to be. No, Anna had a bruise on her forehead. Where had that come from? Elsa reached for Anna and touched cold fingers to her forehead, trying to make Anna feel better. Then she closed her eyes, as if their surroundings had startled her. "Elsa, it's fine. Don't worry about _that, _of all things," Anna assured her. "Do you want to talk about whatever the dream was?"

Elsa shook her head, but she wiped her eyes and tried to sit up again. "I...I'm okay. I think I just felt a bit...disoriented. Anna, quit holding me still. I can sit by myself fine." _We're in Corona, in Rapunzel's princess suite. Anna and I are by ourselves because our relatives have to do the everyday things they always do. Okay._

"Uncle Thomas seemed to think you'd heal better if you stayed still. So, you are staying still. Too bad if you don't like it. I'll bring you books or whatever else you want. I'll stay with you and talk to you and give you hugs if you want them. But you're staying put." Anna didn't want to annoy Elsa, but if there was even a tiny chance staying still would help Elsa's legs heal, she would take it. No way was she going to put all her hopes in Rapunzel getting her healing magic back. Besides, after seeing Elsa's magic react to the troll magic and violently kick it out entirely, Rapunzel might not be able to help Elsa anyway, even if she _could _use her healing magic again. "I'll help you instead. Don't try to do anything by yourself." Anna helped Elsa sit up and then fluffed the pillows around her.

"Bossy," Elsa grumbled a bit, but she didn't protest further, and she held Anna's hand tightly. "Thank you for taking care of me, Anna. I...I know you know I have trouble...letting anyone do that, but you still..._stay._" She hesitated, thinking of their relatives that had been nothing but kind to her from the moment she and Anna had arrived. _I don't know what Anna did or told them to make them care, but... _"I don't understand why they are all so nice," she whispered finally. "It feels like I have landed in another world. It feels nice and comforting but all wrong."

"Elsa, they are treating you the way Mom and Dad _should _have," Anna said gently. _She must know that. She has to. _She looked at Elsa; she seemed happy but genuinely confused. _That makes me so mad. Elsa shouldn't be _confused _because family members are just treating her like she's supposed to be treated! _"You...do know that, right?"

"No. They don't owe me anything. _You _don't owe me anything. I'm surrounded by Annas. People are not angry I can't...be normal. No one saying, Elsa, you know what you need to do. Stay there. Stay away from everything and everyone, especially Anna. Be a good girl, Elsa, you can handle it. No one seeing me and tensing, scared I might hurt them because I'll make a mistake." Elsa bit her lip, struggling to figure out how to express what she was thinking. _I can talk to Anna. She never thinks my feelings are stupid or tells me to get it together. _"Anna, practically the first thing Rapunzel did was just...ask what I needed. Then, Aunt Primrose came in and she asked if I minded a hug. Not even, do I want one, or doing it without asking. She asked if I _minded._"

Anna didn't say anything; she just held Elsa's hand and brushed a bit of hair out of her face. _I can listen to you, Elsa. I don't really understand, but I can listen._

"I felt helpless and so embarrassed when you three tried to take care of my back, but all three of you were so gentle with me. No one told me I was being uncomfortable for nothing. And Aunt Primrose didn't just...leave me alone in here after, either. She could have gone into Rapunzel's room to talk with just you. Instead she included me." Elsa had tears in her eyes again, but Anna could tell she wasn't upset. "She _included _me," she said again. "Then I saw Uncle Thomas and he...he talked to me exactly the same as he did to you and Rapunzel." _And I think he knew I was stupidly scared of him, but he didn't act offended or mad, either. I don't know how I can thank all of them for everything. _Elsa put her hands over her face, clearly trying to hide her tears. "I'm sorry, I d-don't know why I'm crying, I'm not upset."

"Oh, Elsa," Anna said quietly. She gently gave Elsa a hug, hiding her face in Elsa's shoulder. Anna felt her own eyes welling with tears as she clutched Elsa tightly. _I wish I could make her understand that none of them think they're going way out of their way to be nice to her. They're just treating her...properly. Not hurting her and unintentionally making her feel like dirt. _Anna wondered what their parents _would _do right now with Elsa. She couldn't be left alone, obviously; she was seriously injured and would need help with things. _Probably just leave her in bed alone, _Anna thought bitterly. _Or think she was faking it, because Dad wouldn't want to believe there was anything wrong._

"Please don't cry, Anna. I'm _really _not upset, I mean it. I don't understand why I cried, but I do know I'm not upset," Elsa told her worried little sister. "I'm actually very happy right now."

"I know. It makes _me _upset knowing you find family members just treating you...like normal is so surprising to you. It's-"

"Anna, I'm _not _normal. Why should I expect that? All of you are so...understanding."

Elsa tried to pull away, but Anna held on and didn't let go. Not for the first time Elsa thought she would be in absolute heaven if she wasn't physically hurting. Even now she was content just the way she was, just confused as to _why _everyone was being so nice.

"You are, Elsa. You don't think so, but you are. You're just a normal human girl that happens to have magic. Uncle Thomas and Aunt Primrose and Punzie see that." Anna wasn't sure what else to say. "What'll make you understand that you _are _worth it, that you're not just some burdensome thing no one wants? I _love _you, Elsa. They love you too. It doesn't have anything to do with what you can or can't do, magic or otherwise."

_Nothing. I'm happy all of you care, so happy, but I'll never understand. _"I just feel lucky to be here. I don't have to understand," Elsa said finally. "It's just all a bit...overwhelming." _I'm grateful for everything, and I would understand if it all went away._

Anna thought she would like to make a big fuss about that; Elsa should _not _be thinking her own family members treating her like they should was so different and unfamiliar to her. Both girls stared at the door into the hallway suddenly. Some sort of paper was sliding under the door. Anna tiptoed over to the door and picked up the paper. "Oh! It's just from Uncle Thomas, saying Gerda is here safely but hidden in Aunt Primrose's adjoining servants' quarters since this room is too small for us AND Gerda to be comfortable. And the trunk will come in when Punzie and Eugene get back. I guess he just can't come in and talk to us right now without it looking weird since Punzie isn't here. Cool."

Elsa smiled and then laughed a bit and shook her head. "I am in an alternate universe where I still have to stay locked in a room and get messages under the door, but I'm not lonely or sad because you are here with me," she said happily. "If you told me a year ago that this would be happening today, I'd have thought you were crazy." _Also. It's so close to Anna's birthday. I need to try doing _something _for her. I don't know what I can do now-I can't leave our safe room to get or make her anything._

_"_Your 'alternate universe' would be better if you weren't injured," Anna said a bit grumpily, but she just squeezed Elsa's hand and sat next to her again. "We don't even know if you'll get better." _Elsa really is happy though. I don't think she's pretending. I shouldn't mess that up for her. So I should be quiet._

"But I have you with me, and I feel safe and happy. I...I would rather be like this than feel like I did before. My magic does not hurt anymore, and I just feel...all warm and cozy inside." Elsa gave her little sister a shy smile. _I mean, I do really hope I'll get better and not hurt as much soon, but I just can't care much with everything else being so _good _right now. _"That probably sounds strange...?"

Anna immediately shook her head. "No way. You felt awful, like, emotionally for so long. And I know your magic was physically hurting you before too because you were forcing it to stay in too much. So now you're still physically hurting, just differently, but...the inside-Elsa feels better. I don't think that's strange one bit," she said firmly. "But I still wish you weren't hurt! I hate it."

Elsa looked a bit amused now. "One would think you were the one who was shot instead of me," she teased. "Anna, I will be all right. I don't mind this kind of hurt. It's not making me...shut down. And it's...normal pain. Not my magic doing it to me." _Elsa, you did it to yourself and you know it. It's not the magic's fault._

_"_

Can I get you anything? And are you bored?" _Well, at least she's not scared. I think I'd be really scared if I was Elsa right now. _Anna was still concerned, but she was glad Elsa didn't seem to be hiding how she felt.

"No to both. I don't know why, but I'm still a bit tired." Elsa thought she would probably just fall asleep again soon. There was no _need _for her to stay awake; she had no responsibilities to take care of like at home, and she could not do anything to plan for Anna's birthday right now. Anna was there and would snoop anyhow, and she couldn't get up to do anything, either.

"Do you want more pain medicine? I still have that in my pocket," Anna offered, still concerned, just not quite as much as before.

_I don't want that, but I know it would help. It's okay if I'm not completely awake. Anna is here, and I think I'm happy enough that my ice won't...make mistakes right now. _Elsa looked down at her hands. The special bracelet from Anna was still clasped safely around her wrist. It had not broken even with all the commotion. "I think, just...half. Please. I don't want to be addicted to it and I still don't like not having control of myself."

"Taking prescribed medicine doesn't make you an addict, you stinker. But okay." Anna gave the half dose to Elsa and scrunched herself closer to Elsa, who reached for the book Anna had been reading. "Want me to read it out loud? Then you can go to sleep enjoying the story."

"I would love that." Elsa handed the book back to Anna, and she closed her eyes. _I'm so glad we're here, safe, and I can do things like just listening to Anna read a book out loud._

* * *

When Rapunzel got back in the evening, she immediately ran to see her cousins. "I'm sorry I wasn't here all afternoon to entertain you guys. Eugene has your trunk. He's right behind me. And I bought a bunch of snacks and stuff today. It's all for you since you can't go down to the dining hall. Want me to put the things on the wall shelves? Oh, sorry. I didn't realize Anna was asleep." She immediately dropped her voice and spoke _much _more quietly.

Elsa shook her head. "It's fine. Anna sleeps like a log. She was reading to me earlier and I fell asleep. And I guess she went to sleep after, because I woke up a few minutes ago and she was sleeping." She watched Rapunzel unpack the things she had brought and sighed. "I'm sorry I can't...help put the things away," Elsa added after a moment.

"Elsa, it's _fine. _Really. Don't apologize just 'cause you can't do something. Having you and Anna here all of a sudden is actually an awesome surprise for me. I've wanted to meet you, like, since I knew you existed. I mean you're just my age and Anna is close and we'll be great friends," Rapunzel told her. "I wish you'd gotten to come for a more pleasant reason, but I'm super glad you're here. _And _you have magic just like me. Or did. I don't know. I didn't think anybody else had magic."

Elsa's cheeks turned pink, but she was smiling now. _She _likes _my magic, because she used to have magic too. I'm not the only girl with magic, and knowing there's someone else makes Rapunzel happy too. "_I'm glad to be here. I...thank you for being so kind. I was not expecting the lovely welcome your family gave us," she said quietly.

"Why 'your'? We're your family too. Of course my parents welcomed you. Did you...did you think Dad and Mom would turn you and Anna away?" Rapunzel looked extremely puzzled now, and she held the door open so Eugene could come in with the trunk.

"No, but I didn't expect..._this. _Not like...like it was a treat for all of you to have us here. You don't...you aren't..." Elsa trailed off, embarrassed and unsure how to explain that despite receiving those letters that said she and Anna were welcome anytime, she had still been convinced their relatives would not really want her there. _I sound ridiculous. I should just be quiet. Anna understands me, but I don't know how to explain to anyone else, and I don't think I want to. I'll end up making them dislike me or something even if they don't now._

Rapunzel frowned. Elsa's nervous expression appeared to have abruptly vanished, but there was no way she could have just been instantly _not _uncomfortable all of a sudden. _I don't know how to read her. Anna does, but I don't. _"Elsa, if you're hiding how you really feel, you know you haven't got to do that, right? We're not trying to have some business meeting or something like that. Dad says it's good to be mad or upset or scared if you're _not _trying to conduct business. He told me so. I didn't get to have princess lessons when I was little and when I got here that was like one of the first things he said. That you put on game face for business and don't do it otherwise because it'll hurt you and your family. You look like you have _your _game face on now. And you don't have to." _I hope I explained it right. I like talking to people and stuff though. I don't think Elsa does._

Eugene put the trunk in a corner. "She just doesn't trust us yet, Blondie. Give us a few days, Princess Elsa. Then you'll be more comfortable," he said smoothly.

Elsa blinked in surprise. _What Uncle Thomas told Rapunzel is what I should have been told. I'm sure of it._

"Can I...ask you something, Elsa? Please?" Rapunzel asked shyly.

_Why is she asking _me _that? I don't understand that either. But I can try. _"...Of course. I'll do my best to answer it," Elsa said quickly.

"Could you help me figure out how to get my magic back? You told me you could feel it and I wanna believe that means I can still use it," Rapunzel said all in a rush. "Eugene doesn't want me to get my hopes up but I want to try. I miss my magic and I want to heal you too."

Elsa glanced at Anna sleeping beside her. _She should ask Anna for help, not me. I don't know much about _mine. _How can I help Rapunzel figure hers out? _"I don't mind trying, but I...I think you should ask Anna. I barely know how to use my own, so...I'm not sure I'd be any help to you at all," she said quietly.

"But we won't know if we don't try. Even if you can't help it will be fun to hang out with you."

"I can't _do _anything!"

Eugene decided to let the girls talk in peace; he just hugged Rapunzel and then waved at Elsa before leaving. Rapunzel dragged a chair in from her own room and plopped into it. "But you don't have to do anything. I just wanted to talk to you about it. If you don't feel good I'll leave you be though obviously. So's you can sleep some more."

Elsa smiled a little and shook her head. "I feel like I've done nothing _but _sleep. I'm fine. The only thing I can think of is that you must have a different...channel by which you can direct whatever magic you have," she said slowly. Elsa lifted her hand to use her own magic and then immediately hid it under the blankets again. _What am I thinking? Ice magic is not the same as healing magic. What if Rapunzel doesn't want to see it? She won't want to be my friend anymore. I don't want to scare her._

_Elsa, just _ask. _You can control it now, so if she says she doesn't want to see it then don't do anything. If she says yes then you can show her. _"Is using my magic all right with you?"

"...yes? I really want to see it, actually! Why wouldn't it be okay?" Rapunzel actually sounded confused. "Are you worried somebody's going to want you just for it?"

"Try the opposite," Elsa muttered, but she relaxed. For whatever reason, her cousin seemed to believe that people would _want _her for her powers, and not _not _want her because of it. That was strange, but she supposed it made sense since Rapunzel had been kidnapped because someone wanted her magic for themselves. She held out her signature snowflake in her hand and then dissolved it again. "If yours functions anything like mine, then I'd think you could still use it, just not with your hair. But I definitely can't use _mine _with my hair, so that theory might be useless," Elsa said. "I just know even though I'm...like this, my magic is still the same. I wouldn't be able to ice skate or something obviously, but the magic is still inside. Can you...feel your magic inside still?"

Rapunzel frowned and shook her head but then nodded. Then she bit her lip and threw her hands in the air. "I don't know. It's just, I used to sing and my hair would glow and you know...heal. Or in Mother Gothel's case, make her look younger. I didn't really feel like I was channeling it. It just happened."

Elsa fidgeted with her bracelet uncomfortably. _I don't know how to help. Rapunzel's isn't exactly...a simple elemental base like mine. _"Did it ever...react automatically if you were under intense emotions of some kind?" she asked hesitantly.

"No. Never."

"What if you sing now and _think _about where you...want the magic to go?" Elsa continued fiddling with the beads on her bracelet nervously. _This is not my area of expertise. She needs Anna's help, not mine. Anna helped _me; _she can probably help Rapunzel too..._

Rapunzel began quietly singing, starting with the _flower, gleam and glow... _line, but she didn't feel anything different. Just like the other times she had tried, nothing happened. "I feel silly. Can you feel anything from me differently than you felt before?"

"...A little bit." Elsa closed her eyes and then opened them again. _The song activates the magic for her. _"I think your singing...sets your magic off. I don't know how to describe it, because it's definitely not working like mine does. But..." She put her hand over her bracelet from Anna on her wrist and looked away. _Stop looking at it. I don't want anyone else to know what I did those months ago._

"Your bracelet is pretty, Elsa," Rapunzel ventured, wondering what had made Elsa go silent all of a sudden.

Elsa looked startled. _I'm not sure what to say. I don't want to talk about it_. "Anna m-made it for me."

_That's why she keeps messing with it. Maybe it helps Elsa be happy. _"It must be really special to you then," Rapunzel said now. "Could I see it?"

Elsa did not want to take that bracelet off; she hadn't taken it off once since Anna had given it to her. She shook her head hard and then blurted, "I'm sorry-I just don't-"

"Gosh, it's fine. I'm not gonna snitch it and I'm not mad," Rapunzel interrupted. "It's okay. Really!" _Great. Mom told me to be extra careful not to scare Elsa somehow even if it was over something that seemed tiny. Now I've done just that. And not make a big todo about it either. _"Elsa, are you all right?"

"I'm fine." Elsa hesitated, debating whether to say anything else or not. _I don't think Rapunzel would hurt me, but I don't think I can...explain, either. But I could say _something, _I think. _"I have never taken it off since she gave it to me. Anna's present helps me...r-remember the good thing about a day I don't want to think about otherwise." _There. That's the truth and I didn't have to explain everything either._

"That makes sense. I won't ask any more. But it _is _really pretty!" Rapunzel smiled and added, "I wish I had a sister too."

Elsa stifled a giggle. "Anna has enough love for everyone. I know she does. She'll be like a little sister to you too."

* * *

The next morning, Rapunzel ate her breakfast with her cousins in her room. She hopped up to answer the door when she heard her father's voice in the hall. "Hi Dad! We're finishing up breakfast."

"Shh, no 'we'." Thomas shook his head and quickly came in, shutting the door behind him. "Don't mention Anna and Elsa _at all _outside this room, okay? _At all. _Elsa, I'd like to discuss some things with just you today. Do you think you're up to that?" Thomas asked. "Punzie, you go have your lessons with your mom, and Anna, if Elsa is willing, will you please wait in the other room? It will just be a few minutes."

Rapunzel nodded and hopped up to go find her mother.

Elsa's blue eyes darted nervously from Thomas to Anna and back again. _I don't want Anna to go! I can't ask for her to stay, either. I just can't. Uncle Thomas will think I can't discuss anything on my own. _"Does she have to go?" she blurted after a moment.

"No. She does need to promise not to interrupt what I say, and be quiet until I'm finished if she stays, though." Thomas looked straight at Elsa and added, "You _know _I have no right to take your sister away from you, even if I wanted to, which I don't. You've more power than you think."

Elsa blinked in surprise. Whatever she had expected her uncle to say, it wasn't that. _That's...true. Uncle Thomas doesn't have any right to take her away from me. I guess I just didn't realize that... _"I can talk by myself," she said finally, "but I...I'd _like _her to stay." Anna beamed at her and did a zip the lips motion to show yes, she would be quiet.

Thomas smiled and nodded; then grew serious again. "Then Anna stays. Elsa, firstly, do you wish to rescue your parents at all? Because if not, you may always claim ignorance and let sleeping dogs lie."

"I do." Elsa's reply was instant. _I won't just abandon them. I don't care what was done to me, I won't do that._

_"_Then we need a plan. I want to help you and Anna with this, and I want you both to know you're always welcome here. Always." Thomas looked straight at Elsa and added, "You write here if we succeed but then things go back the way they were. Understand?"

Elsa looked down at her hands. "I don't want to...cause a fuss. It is not worth it," she said softly. _Anna is going to be mad at me for saying that. Or at least frustrated._

Anna huffed and crossed her arms. She looked ready to make a stink, but she stayed quiet. She would let Uncle Thomas explain why that was _not _what they were going to do. Sure enough, he immediately said, "I said nothing about causing a fuss. I said write a letter. Elsa, you're a good writer. I think you know that. You can do that easily, even if you didn't feel comfortable 'causing a fuss' in person."

"I do not want you and Aunt Primrose causing a fuss on my behalf. It's not worth it."

Thomas glanced at Anna; her expression clearly said she'd had a similar conversation with Elsa before. "Would you think it wasn't worth it if the person in trouble was Anna and not you?"

"No, that is different," Elsa replied instantly. _I'd do anything to protect Anna._

"It is not, other than the fact that I'm sure Anna would most definitely cause a fuss to help herself, and you are telling me you won't. If anything, that means _you _would need more help than she would." Thomas hoped some simple logic would get through to Elsa. _She has all that power and she refuses to do anything for herself with it._

Elsa didn't answer for a minute. _Logically that makes sense, but...it's just me. It's not Anna. What about Arendelle? It's bad enough that I revealed myself like I did in public. _"I don't know," she said finally. Knowing that people _would _speak up for her if she was in trouble was nice, but she still didn't want to make things difficult for their parents either. Speaking up for herself or letting others do so for her would cause her father all kinds of trouble.

"Please think about it. I can't force you to do anything, but we want to protect you. What happened to you when you were little was not fair, and I don't want anything like it happening again. Let Anna and the rest of us help you. As for rescuing your parents, you need to learn to use your magic as a weapon, Elsa," Thomas told her. "We will help you, of course, but the easiest and safest thing to do is _you _being the main weapon system with ordinary people as backup. I did not say you were a weapon, but you have more power yourself than Arendelle's military combined. Use it. You need to learn how anyway, after what happened that caused you and Anna to have to flee here in the first place."

Elsa only stared at him incredulously. She looked down at her hands and her own body that hurt and wouldn't function right anymore. Uncle Thomas was virtually telling her she was supposed to lead some kind of invasion, and his words sounded an awful lot like Anna's. "I...can't. Uncle Thomas, look at me," she whispered. The vague memory Anna had seen, the one where she had tried to write a speech that included her magic being a defense for her country and gotten herself into trouble, flitted through her head. _I don't understand. Why is he telling me the exact opposite of what Dad did? Why is he so matter of fact about the idea of fighting with _magic? _He acts like it's a perfectly normal thing to do!_

Next to her Anna was grinning like a Cheshire cat. She was _incredibly _pleased. About time another grownup would tell Elsa that! Anna kept her word and said nothing, but she was delighted.

"I _am _looking at you. If you don't completely heal, that will make fighting more difficult, yes, but it doesn't mean you can't. You must know that, Elsa. Anna told me you _moved a storm _on the way here. Certainly you can use your magic against some ordinary humans to rescue your parents." Thomas paused before adding, "Also, if your explanation for why you can't is because you are scared, that's not a good reason, either. You can be scared and still do something. Do you think ordinary soldiers aren't scared if they go into a battle?"

Elsa shook her head slowly. _No. I'd think anyone was delusional if they claimed not to be. _"But I couldn't stop Damian. That is one person and...four accomplices. That I know of, at least. This would be...much bigger than that," she said hesitantly.

Thomas only smiled at her. "That's five armed men then. You're a young girl that has no experience fighting at all and, let's see...you neutralized all but one without really knowing what you were doing? That's not something to sneeze at. Then there is the fact you probably did part of that _after _you were injured. Right?"

Elsa slowly nodded again, not sure what she should say. _I'm so confused. I feel like I am dreaming._

"Elsa. You reacted well. Maybe slower than a trained person would have, but you _did fine. _You didn't just shut down and panic. It also means you can use your powers just fine even if you don't completely heal. Does that make sense?" Thomas asked. "How did you stop those criminals from attacking others or hurting you further? Knowing that might help come up with better strategies in the future."

Elsa looked at Anna, wanting her to explain. This conversation was way too weird to her. _I don't know how to explain. The whole incident felt strange. It was like I couldn't focus properly but then I remembered what I was doing and was able to focus as long as I did one thing at a time._

Anna started, _"_All the creeps except Damian were up on roofs and she disarmed them with ice and-"

Uncle Thomas shook his head and Anna went quiet again. "Anna, please let her explain," he said firmly. "We have all day. Elsa, it's okay. Take as long as you need to figure out what to say."

Elsa blinked and looked at Anna again. Anna nodded and squeezed Elsa's hand, but she did not say another word. She seemed to understand that she was supposed to let Elsa explain herself, even if it took longer. "Why are you willing to...wait? I don't understand." _I don't get it. I have to explain myself but it's okay that I can't do it easily? You aren't going to tell me to hurry up and say what I wanted to say?_

Thomas ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath, clearly frustrated. He had not been able to see _his _daughter for eighteen years, and he had wanted her back...and then here was Elsa, whose father had certainly not taken care of her properly at all. _He didn't deserve to have her or Anna. __If Elsa were mine, I wouldn't have made her...like this. She acts like she thinks whatever she does must be troublesome or wrong. _"Why should I _not _wait? Elsa, I want to hear what you have to say, and you seem to need time to figure out how to explain. Therefore I shall wait." Thomas hesitated before adding quickly, because Elsa was starting to look more worried than confused, "You are not the one I am frustrated with, just so you know."

_"_But I can't...I can't do it right. I just showed up here unexpectedly and I'm...like this so I can't _do _anything, I can't talk right s-sometimes, and..." Elsa's blue eyes darted to Anna and then down at their clasped hands. "I'm not like Anna. Why is it _okay? _Why...why isn't Papa like you?" she asked, her voice cracking. The snowflakes floating around her made her cringe. _Now I'm making mistakes. Stop it, Elsa. Stop it right now. He might get annoyed and it'll all be just the same as at home._

"Because he's an idiot," Thomas spat, and gently touched Elsa's cold hand. Elsa flinched and jerked her hand away. "Look, I can't know all of whatever has happened to you, but it's not happening here. You're getting the same damn treatment Anna or Rapunzel would get if they were hurt too, pardon the language. Elsa, it's all right. Nobody expects you to just 'be okay' with any of those things you mentioned. If you don't want to explain today, that's fine, we'll try again tomorrow, but I know you can do it."

"It's not that I don't want to."

"Then, I will wait."

Elsa smiled a little, still feeling strange at this reaction, but the fact that she knew he _would _wait for her to figure how to explain made it easier to do so. "The four men were on roofs. I honestly...don't really remember everything properly, I don't think. But, I can...shoot ice easily at a target consistently. I disarmed them that way and made cages of ice to...contain them?" Elsa hesitated before adding, "I was a bit off one of the times and hit the man in the arm by accident instead of just knocking the weapon out of his hand. I hope he isn't hurt." _Uncle Thomas looks impressed. What on earth?_

Thomas actually laughed. "Good grief, Elsa, so you're a crack shot. A sharpshooter wouldn't do better. I don't want you to do it now, because you need as much rest as possible, but once you're feeling better, practice right here. Please."

"It doesn't take much energy to do. I...I could show you...?" Elsa sounded less hesitant now, but she still seemed wary she might say or do the wrong thing. _Anna is here. She won't let anything happen to me. I can do that. I don't think Uncle Thomas would get angry with me anyways._

Thomas wasn't sure whether to say yes or no. _If I tell her to do it, Elsa might hurt herself; but if I tell her not to, I'll hurt her feelings. _"Anna, will doing what Elsa described with her magic injure her further?" he asked finally. "Elsa, I'm sorry, but I don't trust you not to push yourself too much."

"No way. Elsa could do that in her sleep," Anna answered instantly. _"_Go on, Elsa. I wanna see you do it too!"

In seconds, Elsa had iced over a small knot in the opposite wall she had noticed, and she carefully hit her small makeshift target right in the middle several times. Icicles split the previous shots down the middle each time. Then she created an empty cage in the corner, just for reference purposes. Elsa gave Thomas a questioning look. _Is that what you wanted?_

"...And you aren't at all tired out by doing any of that?" Thomas asked, clearly impressed. _Elsa doesn't _look _tired. She almost seems more awake after using her power, like it made her feel better, not worse. _He stood up and went to touch the latticed cage of ice in the corner. "This is very impressive. And...detailed, even though you did in seconds. Do you know how strong it is?"

"No, but I do know Kai and Anna can't break it with their bare hands. I can, but with...non-magical things, both of them are physically stronger." Elsa still spoke quietly, but she no longer sounded nervous. She knew that was true, and saying it out loud oddly made her feel better. Hearing herself say it aloud also made it seem less strange too. _I have something I'm weaker for and something I'm stronger for. That's...normal. Not weird. It's my own magic. Why _wouldn't _I be able to break it?_

Thomas considered this for a moment. _Elsa could use that ability both offensively and defensively if she had to. _"A bigger one. Could you create one large enough to hold, say...all three of us?"

Elsa nodded. _I could make one around the entire castle if I knew more about its layout. _She held onto Anna's hand tightly and didn't say anything. Anna looked at Elsa and then spoke up herself. "I know I'm not supposed to talk for Elsa, but she's _really _understating what she can do, Uncle Thomas. She can flood the whole ballroom at home with snow in seconds. And she can make dresses, and her ice can stop a crossbow shot. That incident in the marketplace? There's a little girl that Elsa likes talking to, Daisy. One of those creeps aimed at her, and Elsa threw up an ice wall to protect Daisy. She's able to sense when a storm is nearby, and she can make really detailed things in seconds. _Way _more detailed than that cage. I bet she could make a whole ship if she really wanted to."

"What about a ship?" Thomas asked curiously.

Now Elsa felt embarrassed. She clasped her hands in her lap and bit her lip. _I know Anna is right, but...still. _Elsa thought for a moment and then carefully created a small model ship of ice about twice as big as her own hand. Then she held it out to Uncle Thomas cautiously. "It won't melt and it shouldn't break..." _I thought maybe it can be a decoration somewhere? It looks just like glass...why am I even thinking that? I don't think anyone would want that except Anna._

_It doesn't matter, Elsa. It's okay._

Thomas took it carefully and stared from it to Elsa and back again. "It's not even very cold! Such details. This could probably pass for glass, Elsa. I can't put it up now just in case someone realizes it is _not _glass, but if you make another later, I'd love to have one. For now, may I have a simple rod of ice? We can test how strong it is. In the meantime, you and Anna could brainstorm a plan. But don't try too hard; I want both of you to rest."

Elsa morphed the little ship to the simple ice rod and smiled. "We can do that."

"And finally, think about what you two might like to do or have for Christmas."

* * *

ARENDELLE

"Perhaps we should write to our princesses now that Damian has been caught?" Erik suggested to Kai. "There's starting to be a lot of suspicion that they aren't here already because Princess Anna hasn't been seen at all, and Gerda is gone. Yesterday I had one of my men asking if Princess Elsa died. He didn't believe she would let you take care of _everything _for her, even if she was injured. I told him she was resting, but then he said she was not in her room he had been guarding, which is the truth."

"That Damian hasn't told you or anyone else who his mole is, Erik. We can't have them come back yet. It's not safe," Kai pointed out. "What are we supposed to do? He's had nothing but water for days and he says nothing. I wouldn't care a whit what happened to him, but Elsa's not going to be happy if she comes back and he's been...interrogated further. She trusted us enough to leave. We can't lose that."

Erik considered simply telling Damian he would sic Princess Anna on him, but that would not do any good because Anna was not there, and also he had a feeling that _nothing _they did to Damian was going to force him to talk. They needed a way to trick him into revealing everything rather than trying to make him do so. "I wonder if he'd talk to Pieter."

"What about the girl? Jade?"

"She claimed to not know who Damian's contact inside the castle is, but I got the sense she was lying. That young woman isn't trustworthy." Erik thought for a moment before asking, "Okay with you if I ask Espen, the little brother? He could be helpful; I'm sure he has overheard his sister talking to Damian while he was hiding at their place."

Kai immediately nodded. "Do it. Bring him to that parlor downstairs though. I don't want him seeing the layout of the castle upstairs just in case, but we don't need to scare him off, either. He's just a kid."

When Erik brought Espen to the parlor a few minutes later, the boy immediately spoke up before Erik could say anything at all. "I'll tell you everything I overheard if you tell Jade somebody else told you. I just don't want her to be mad at me," Espen said. "Sir, I mean. Sorry. I don't want the princesses to get hurt some more. They seem nice from what I hear in the market."

"Espen, do you really believe she's not going to know you're the one who spilled the beans? I took you here to talk and she will hear when whoever the culprit is, is brought to the dungeon," Erik pointed out.

"Well...I guess not..."

"I'd really appreciate hearing what you know. You said you don't want the princesses hurt. If you tell me what you saw or heard, we can help protect them better." Erik spoke firmly and gestured for Espen to sit. The boy sat stiffly and stared at Erik; Erik sat in a chair across from him.

"...Could I meet them? Please?" Espen asked hopefully.

"Let's hear your information first, young man. That's something for them to decide. You may not meet them anytime soon, at least."

Espen hesitated again, and then jumped up. Then he sat back down. "His name is Anders or Andre. Something like that. Damian mentioned somebody named that a lot. And he's one of the guys that works guarding the gate. Like from the castle wall watchtowers. Does that help?"

"It does. That narrows it down a lot, actually. Did he ever mention what this man looked like?" Erik asked.

Espen shook his head. "No, but Damian said if something happened to him and he was caught, his contact would 'make sure the job was done' himself. That was before whatever happened in the marketplace and Princess Elsa got hurt, though."

"So he was hanging around your home a long time. What did he say when he arrived back the day of the incident then?" Erik was frowning now. _There's more to this. Espen might not know, but there's more. A lot more._

"He thought Princess Elsa was dead. Damian said he'd shot her, and Jade was all like 'That doesn't mean she's dead, people survive being shot all the time'. I told him he should leave her alone and hope he missed, and he hit me and laughed." Espen was scowling now. "He said I didn't know what I was talking about and he said really horrible things about the princesses. And I didn't wanna hear it so I went outside."

Erik stood up and began pacing. "You hear anything else? Anything you thought strange, or something about plans beyond the assassination attempt?"

"...Like magic stuff?"

"Maybe."

Espen gulped. "Jade said she wanted whatever magic the princess had for herself. Damian didn't know that, though. He just wanted to kill her because of it and was using Jade. I think...I think maybe Jade felt threatened after Damian tried to kill the princess. She hates you for protecting the royal family, but she didn't want Damian back at our home, either."

"But you said she brought him back that day. Of the incident, I mean."

"Yeah, sir. Yes. But she treated him differently after that. Like she didn't trust him. I think he told her something that made her hide him after that. I don't know what," Espen said cautiously. "You...believe me, right?"

"I believe that you are telling me what you believe to be so, but that doesn't tell me whether it's actually true or not." Erik looked the boy right in the eyes. "Do you know where the men that helped in the assassination attempt were from?"

Espen nodded emphatically and looked relieved. "They were all from Weselton except one. The other guy was from here in Arendelle. He was an iceman. He said the princess's magic would ruin his job."

"And the ones from Weselton? Were they individually approached for this or did the duke authorize their actions? Ever hear anything like that?" Erik asked sharply. _Two told me they were mercenaries. Could they have been lying?_

"I dunno. I'm sorry."

Erik nodded. "You have been most helpful. I may ask you more later. Thank you for your information."

* * *

CORONA

The next afternoon, Elsa woke up from napping to hear loud talking, almost shouting, from Rapunzel's room. She lay still and just listened. _What is going on? _A loud knock on the door linking Anna's and her small room with Rapunzel's made her flinch.

"Are you two awake? I'm sorry to bother you," Thomas said. He sounded frustrated and worried.

Anna looked at Elsa; she had been reading and letting Elsa sleep. The more Elsa slept, the better. "Yeah, we are," Anna called back. She helped Elsa sit leaning against the pillows again and then answered the door. "What happened?"

"Rapunzel, get in here. Immediately," Thomas ordered.

Rapunzel skittered in and didn't say anything. She looked close to tears, and Elsa suddenly felt sick. _What is going on? Why is Uncle Thomas so mad? Did he make Rapunzel cry? _Elsa was glad when Anna came back and sat next to her.

"What's going on?" Anna asked, more curious than anything.

"I did something stupid," Rapunzel mumbled.

Thomas nodded. "I have the ambassador to Weselton here right now. He is convinced I am concealing Arendelle's royal sisters in this room. Rapunzel told me she talked about you two to Eugene while she was out. Quietly, of course. After promising not to mention her cousins outside this room."

"I'm sorry. I promised after I did it the once," Rapunzel said quietly.

Thomas sighed deeply. "I know. I'm sorry I scolded you so much, but this is extremely important. Your mistake could potentially cause a lot of trouble for both Corona and Arendelle. I'm more upset with Eugene than you. He should have known better, with his experience hiding and pretending things! Someone must have overheard you. Between that and the fact that your new servants have not been seen once since the day they arrived, it's enough to make anyone think Anna and Elsa are here. You two can't hide in the safe room for any length of time comfortably, so that won't work."

"So, let them see the room," Elsa spoke up softly. _Anna can pass. I can't. I can hide in the safe room long enough for this nosy ambassador to see that we 'aren't here', and the trouble will be gone._

Anna took one look at Elsa and knew exactly what she was thinking. "Elsa's right. The closed off servants' room is the problem. Elsa can hide in Rapunzel's room, or the teeny safe room if she has to. I can be, like, sweeping the floor or something and then all the suspicion will be gone."

Thomas looked at the girls and abruptly nodded. "I don't like it, but it should work. Are you all right with doing that?"

Elsa smiled a little. _Definitely. _"We'll be fine. I am sorry for causing you trouble, but I'm very glad there's a simple solution."

**A/N: and that's a wrap! Next chapter coming soon! (In which the solution shall take place and probably Christmas...)**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who's followed/favorited and/or is reading but not reviewing! **

**On to the story! I am so sorry for taking so long to update. It has been horridly busy where I work and just...yeah.:P It'll probably be awhile before next chapter too, but it _is _coming.:)**

"Elsa, you're really okay with this plan?" Anna asked her again. "None of us know exactly how long it will take. I _know _you hate the idea of being in that safe room alone."

Elsa nodded. "It really is fine. I can listen, and I know you will come let me out. So I will be okay," she explained simply. No, she didn't _want _to go in the safe room at all, but it would be all right. _I won't be happy in there, but I won't...freak myself out either. I'll be fine._

Anna gently set Elsa down on the blankets and pillows Rapunzel had put into the tiny safe room, still not wanting to leave Elsa in there. Elsa didn't seem frightened, exactly, but she was tense and making her carefully neutral expression Anna hated. "Maybe I should stay in there with you," she suggested.

"No, that nosy ambassador needs to see you playing your role. If we're both mysteriously missing, it will not help mitigate his suspicions that we are here," Elsa said firmly.

"Maybe you could-"

"Anna! Please listen to me. You _know _I wouldn't pass, not for a second. My accent will give us away-something I cannot hide like you can, I'm injured-which is something that could immediately identify me if he somehow knows what happened back at home, and I can't sew dresses like my supposed job entails, either." Elsa shook her head, looking almost amused at that idea. _I can make magical ice-dresses, but I definitely don't know how to make an ordinary one. All I know how to do is simple things, like sewing a button back on. _"It has to be you. Uncle Thomas will let him barge into our room, you will be sweeping it and look startled, and Rapunzel will come in and interfere because he 'scared' her so-called servant. The end."

"...well, okay..." Anna frowned, but she gave Elsa one last hug and then put a light blanket around her. "We'll try to hurry. You have a candle and a book, and a canteen of water, anyway, in case it takes awhile." _I hope our plan works. _Elsa hugged Anna back as tightly as she could, but she didn't say anything else. Anna finally let go and moved to shut the tiny safe room off again.

"Wait a moment," Thomas said suddenly, unfastening his watch from his wrist. He knelt in front of Elsa to hand the watch to her and said quietly, "I'll be back for this, you know. Primrose gifted that watch to me before we married. You can keep track of time this way." _I know she doesn't _really _trust anyone here except for Anna. She wants to but doesn't yet._

Elsa smiled a little bit and nodded emphatically. _Thank you. "_I will take good care of it," she promised. _I don't understand why he is trusting me with something that special, but I won't mess that up, either._

"I know. Hopefully this will be quick. Seal the opening off with ice once it's closed, just in case, please." Thomas debated on giving her a hug and then decided not to; he didn't think Elsa trusted him enough for her to actually want a hug. Instead he gently squeezed her shoulder. "Anna will be back for you in a bit. That we can promise."

"Okay." Elsa nodded again, her guarded expression faded now. She looked mostly happy again and just a bit nervous. _I don't need to hide how I feel here. Relax, Elsa. Why are you still thinking something terrible will happen or one of them will just leave you alone or something again? They _won't. _You know that, _she told herself. Anna's reassuring smile was the last thing she saw before the safe room was closed.

"You seal it off yet, Elsa?" Thomas asked through the wall.

Elsa quickly did so. "I have now," she called back. There was a sickening creak of the bookcase's wood, and Elsa pulled herself toward the wall of the safe room farther from the opening. The candle flickered dimly in the tiny room, casting shadows on the walls, and she closed her eyes. _I wish Anna was in here too. She is right out there, Elsa, you can hear her._

_"_Thank you, Elsa. Nobody's getting in there unless you let them now," she heard Thomas say. Elsa listened intently as Rapunzel and Anna talked outside her hiding spot. Seconds seemed like ages. The crate they'd hidden in had not been so bad since Anna had been there too, but now Elsa felt as if her surroundings were pressing in on her. She stared at Uncle Thomas's watch.

One minute passed. Then two.

_I want out. I know I _can _get out-I could blast free if I wanted to. I am not trapped._

_I have my Anna bracelet. It's fine. _Elsa tried to settle her racing thoughts, but trying to listen to whatever was happening outside her hiding spot was not helping. It only made her feel more trapped, even though she knew that was _not _the case and it was not her room or closet or that dungeon cell that used to frighten her so much. _I will wait, and I will be fine. I will not make magic mistakes or scare myself thinking too much._

_Read the book, Elsa. Read the book or try to sleep._

_I don't want to sleep here. I will read. _Elsa held the book near the candle and began reading the book.

She jumped a couple of minutes later-four and a half to be exact when she checked the watch-as someone knocked lightly on the wall. "Miss Elsa? Your aunt sent me here. Said I should stay with you if you didn't mind," came Gerda's voice from Rapunzel's room. Then she heard Rapunzel asking if she could unseal the opening. Elsa quickly dissolved the icy seal, and then blinked as light from outside the tiny safe room flooded inside. Gerda came in, and Rapunzel waved before pushing the opening closed again.

"Anna's in the other room. She says hi again," Rapunzel said, and Elsa actually laughed and said thank you.

Gerda squeezed next to her; the tiny safe room wasn't really wide enough for both Elsa and Gerda, but Elsa felt less claustrophobic than more so with Gerda there. "I'm glad I don't have to stay in here alone," Elsa whispered. "Thank you for coming." She felt a warm arm wrapped around her, and she closed her eyes, feeling much, much better. _I'm such a child, I suppose, but I do not feel irrationally scared anymore. Uncomfortable, yes, but...fine._

"I'm just happy to see you and Anna safe again," Gerda whispered back. "Your aunt has told me you two were fine and safe, but I really wanted to have a chance to see you for myself." She was glad Elsa seemed much improved than she had been on the boat trip there. Resting here in Corona had helped a lot already. _I shall still ask her all the same._ "Are you feeling at least a little better now?"

"Much," came the quiet reply, but Elsa's contented tone indicated she was not just pretending to be okay now. The candlelight looked cozy now instead of eerie. _I never, ever told that I felt scared in here alone. How did anyone know I would feel better if someone stayed with me? I said it was fine. Insisted on it, actually. Maybe Anna asked._

Gerda smiled and gave Elsa a gentle squeeze. "Good. You know what I mean, though. Does your back still hurt a lot, or does that feel better too? Is your sister making sure you take that medicine?" She was quite sure Elsa's 'much' reply just referred to her emotional state, which was good, but she wanted to make sure Elsa was healing physically too.

Elsa mulled this over for a minute before she answered. "It hurts, but...less than before. Anna convinced me to take half doses...some. I just hate the way it makes me feel, Gerda. I would honestly rather be in pain than feel like I am not in control of myself," she said hesitantly. "And, I'm scared of becoming addicted to it. So we compromised with half doses instead."

"All right, Miss Elsa. As long as you aren't overdoing anything and you're able to sleep." Gerda was much acquainted with Elsa not wanting anything that altered her perception in some way or made her 'not in control'. That had not changed even though she could control her magic fine now.

"I have just been sleeping, reading, and playing board games with Anna and Rapunzel." Elsa sounded surprised but happy now. _I have had such a lovely time here. Too nice, really. I hate causing so much fuss for them. I wish Anna and I had not had to come under these circumstances, but I'm glad we came, too. _"And...thinking what to do to about...what has happened and how to get my parents...back."

Gerda frowned; Elsa had grown a bit colder to touch at her last comment even though she didn't seem particularly upset. _Elsa's magic knows she's wary of doing that. Horrible thing to think, but I don't want her finding them unless things will change. _"If you must," she said after a moment.

"I must." Elsa didn't go into detail further; she still missed them and yet didn't exactly want them to come back either. _That's a terrible thing to think, but it's the truth. I hope I can make Mom and Dad proud...eventually. Once Dad finds out I revealed myself in public...then what? I _can _control it now. Will that be enough? If I don't get better, will I be in trouble for that too? _Elsa closed her eyes, wondering if the incident had been her own fault. She should not have left the castle in the first place with only Anna, but she thought that was the only mistake. She definitely hadn't done anything to antagonize Damian in the marketplace; she'd simply _existed _and he didn't want her to exist. That was that.

Rapunzel's voice right outside the tiny safe room startled Elsa. "I can't hear anything if you guys are talking, but just in case I'm telling you my dad is bringing the nosy ambassador dude right now. Don't answer or anything, I'm just saying."

Elsa stayed very still, holding onto Uncle Thomas's watch in one hand and Gerda with the other. Gerda kept her arm around Elsa and said nothing. They would just listen and wait.

* * *

"If you are so sure I have hidden my nieces from Arendelle in Princess Rapunzel's servants' room, I suppose I could humor you," Anna heard her uncle say loudly from in the hall. Anna began sweeping the floor slowly, mostly listening and not sweeping much. _I have to convince this dude I'm not Princess Anna. Time to act._

The man knocked but then barged in without waiting for an answer. Behind him Thomas gave Anna an encouraging smile. "Oh," the ambassador said hurriedly, "you aren't who I thought you were...are you?"

Anna feigned being startled, so she yelped and dropped her broom prop. She dropped an awkward curtsy and said politely, copying the native accent Rapunzel had, "That depends who you're looking for." Then after a moment, because she thought the man was looking at her a bit strangely, "Sir. Sorry."

"Now, see here, leave this girl alone. You've seen her, now let my daughter and her servant have their privacy," Thomas said firmly. While Anna could indeed match accents impeccably well, and she didn't act particularly prim and proper the way Elsa would do most likely; she didn't sound like an ordinary servant girl either. Anna just sounded like she was addressing an equal. If Thomas let their charade go on for too long, that could potentially give them away.

The Weselton ambassador nodded and started to leave, but then turned back to Anna. "What is your name? And where is your friend I heard you came with?"

Anna answered without missing a beat. "Kat," she said instantly, because there was a picture of a cat on the wall and 'Kat' could be short for multiple names. _What do I say about Elsa? We can't produce her for this guy to see. "_She's fitting Princess Rapunzel for a dress. They don't want to be disturbed," Anna said after a moment, slightly too loudly in the hopes that her cousin would hear and _not _interfere as they had originally planned. She moved directly in front of the door linking the rooms together. _C'mon, Rapunzel, don't come in. Please understand._

_"_Not _that _color! Ow, that pin stuck me!" came an exclamation from Rapunzel in the other room. Anna relaxed. _Good. Thank goodness she understood._

"You have seen my daughter's servant. Now let her be, please." Thomas held the door to the hallway open and looked at his guest pointedly. The message to get out of the room was clear.

"Very well. Sir, I must tell you, there is something strange about that girl all the same," the ambassador was saying as he went off down the hall. "She's not Princess Anna, but still! Doesn't act like a servant at all. Not like the ones at home at least."

Anna let out a deep sigh once the ambassador and her uncle were gone. She immediately ran to lock the door to the hallway, and then opened the door to Rapunzel's room. "Thanks so much, Punzie! Your comment convinced the dude to go away."

Rapunzel laughed. "Good. I was hoping it would! Elsa, it's safe now-you can de-ice the opening to the safe room, okay?" she said now.

"Okay. It is done."

Elsa's quiet reply did not sound at all scared, which made Anna feel much better about going through with their plan in the first place. The second the safe room was open, Anna knelt next to Elsa and just hugged her close. "Thank you so much for staying with Elsa, Gerda," Anna said quickly.

"She's very welcome. A bit of stiffness is well worth being able to hold my grown-up princess after she would _never _have let anyone so close just a few months ago." Gerda stretched uncomfortably and stood up smiling. Somehow Anna and Elsa were still the sweet little girls she had wished were her own years before...just older. They might have technically been her boss, but she loved those girls all the same. Seeing the two of them together again, _happy and smiling, _made Gerda happy too. The only thing wrong with the current picture in Gerda's mind was that Elsa was injured and they had no idea if she would ever completely heal or not.

Elsa's cheeks turned pink, but she said nothing. _I have all these people around me that love me just the way I am. I still don't understand it, but it makes me so happy and warm inside. It...doesn't matter that I'm not like Anna. I don't want those tiny feelings I still have that I shouldn't be here anymore to ruin everything. But I don't want to ruin things by...being here, either. _She hugged Anna tightly, still holding Uncle Thomas's watch in one hand. Elsa felt herself starting to cry again, only a few tiny snowflakes floating around her.

"Is there something wrong?" Rapunzel asked hesitantly.

"No," Elsa replied, her voice muffled against Anna's shoulder. She lifted her head and wiped her eyes. _I wish I could stop crying. I feel like I am always about to do so, whether it's because I'm scared or sad or happy or...anything. I never thought I would have a safe place like this where I could just be myself and no one would mind. _"I am sorry." _I'm sorry I get overwhelmed and am like this even though I really am happy. The longer I'm here the more I feel that way._

"You don't have to be sorry one bit. I cry sometimes when I'm happy too," said Rapunzel, feeling a bit awkward. Elsa was hard to read; she liked having friends close, but she didn't usually want anyone but Anna to touch her, it seemed like. Gerda must have been on Elsa's list of people she trusted enough to touch her without flinching. _If I could call it a list. That's two people. And that's it. She did want a hug from Mom though. She just wanted warning first. "_So...what would you guys like to do for Christmas?" she said to change the subject. That was something all of them would want to talk about.

Anna picked Elsa up and gently set her down on Rapunzel's big purple chaise lounge. "Let's put a tree in here!" Then she tugged Rapunzel to the opposite side of the room and whispered in her ear, "Can you get Elsa a big chocolate cat? Please? I want to give her a cat for Christmas."

Rapunzel looked at her a bit strangely but then giggled and nodded.

Elsa watched curiously but said nothing. _I shan't mess up whatever Anna's trying to surprise me with. Obviously she's excited and I have messed up enough things for her. _She looked down at Uncle Thomas's watch, still held carefully in her hand. _Not only is everyone just..._helping _me like they would a normal person, they seem to understand certain things that irrationally scare me too. Why? I did not explain. Not to anyone but Anna. _Elsa knew Anna had given a brief explanation of previous goings-on, but _still. _She had never been able to make anyone else understand before, even when she had tried to explain. The magic inside her no longer hurt all the time either. It was just _hers, _the same as it had been when she was little.

_If I go home now and we get Mom and Dad back, how can I go back to the way things were before? How can I _not_? I know I'm not exactly easy to deal with. _A dark thought came to her: maybe it would be better if something conveniently happened to her before they tried to go home. Then _no one _would have to deal with her at all, and besides, she would at least be able to talk to Anna first. _But I promised Anna. I'm happy here. Stop it, Elsa. Don't think that. Anna would not want that even if you believed it was better for her._

Anna's worried voice cut into Elsa's morbid ideas. "Elsa. You aren't here again. What...what's the matter?" she asked, sitting next to Elsa and taking one of her cold hands. _She's cold again. Why is Elsa upset now?_

Rapunzel slipped into the hall, and Gerda quickly locked the door behind her as she requested just in case. _I am finding Mom. And then I'm gathering Christmas stuff for us. Anna can make her feel better easier without me in there. I'm sure of _that.

Elsa tugged her hand away from Anna and hid her face in her hands. _I can't do this to them. I just can't. I can't even force myself to act...normal now either. The outside of me is broken too._ She felt Anna trying to hug her, and she pushed the younger girl away. "I...I can't do this to any of you," she said sharply, the crack in her voice on the last word not matching the rest of her tone. _Just quit it. Leave me alone and have a normal life. I don't want you to leave, but I think you should._

"Do...? Do what? Elsa, look at me. Look at Gerda. You aren't...doing anything to us. You weren't before and you aren't now. I-I thought you've been doing really really good with your magic and feeling better, like, emotionally in general. All I see are snowflakes!" Anna reached for Elsa again and wrapped a blanket around her so Elsa couldn't just push her away a second time. _But this isn't the same pushing away as before. What's going on in your head, Elsa? What's hurting you? _She stubbornly held onto her sister tightly enough that Gerda whispered to her to be careful and not injure Elsa further. "You stop it! You're not losing control and you won't hurt me. It's all right, I promise."

_This is proving my point! You're just staying here and wasting your time. _Elsa finally gave up and just lay trembling in Anna's arms; she wasn't strong enough to make Anna let go and she couldn't just get up and leave either. "You don't...d-don't understand."

"No, I don't. Can't you tell me what's wrong? Are you hurting again?"

_"..._

No."

Anna frowned. "That's a lie. Elsa, I _know _you. You're not scared of hurting me right now. Something else is making you cry and push me away, and I don't get it. And you said 'any of you' before. What is it that you think you're doing to me and Gerda and the rest of our family that's so bad you need to push us away?"

The snow falling around Elsa grew stronger, but it was still only snowflakes, so Anna held on. Elsa wasn't freezing to touch like she was when she was about to panic and lose control, so Anna was sure it was safe. "Not...not safe," Elsa whispered finally.

"Yes it is. You're not freezing to touch, and you know how to control it now anyways." Anna rested her own head on Elsa's shoulder and stayed put. "I am staying right here until you explain yourself."

_I don't know how. You're just going to say, It's okay Elsa, I'll take care of you. And that...that makes me happy, but I don't want to take up your time. If I can't function right without help, it shouldn't be _

your _problem. "_I just...don't want all of you to waste your time. Time is not something anyone can get back," Elsa said finally, unsure what else to say. _I feel wrong letting myself start feeling so content and happy like I have been._

Gerda scowled. "Miss Elsa, no one is wasting time. I know you hate needing help, but that doesn't mean helping you is wasting time."

"If I don't get better, I'll _always _need help, even if the inside...emotional parts of me are okay," Elsa's bitter reply made Anna hold on to her tighter; she sounded almost angry with herself.

"We _want _to help! It's our time to so-called waste, Elsa," Anna shot back. _"_If you think it's a waste of time, then fine, think that, but you're wrong and I will spend my time how I please! I've told you that before and I'm saying it now!" _So Elsa is not okay with being hurt. She may not be _scared _of it, but she's upset for needing help because of it. That I can fix. Punzie and I need to figure out how to use her healing magic on Elsa. That's all. _"And don't worry about not getting better-we don't even _know _yet anyways. It's okay to accept help. It's being offered to you 'cause we want to-you aren't ordering it or even asking it."

Elsa wished she could explain that she genuinely wanted to just accept everything was different now, but that the tiny niggling voice that her friends and family were wasting their time had grown strong enough that she couldn't ignore it and just let herself be content and happy right now. "I believe you, I just..." _I can't explain. I can't do it._

_Elsa, talk to Anna. She will definitely not understand if you do not try to talk to her. It's been months and she _always _understands when you try explaining__. "_I can't ignore it any longer. The...thinking that I genuinely feel much better but that to get that, I'm...being a burden on everyone I care about. Like most of me is happy, but those dark parts inside are still _there, _just...waiting. Waiting for a chance to kill me if I let it grow. I don't want to be here if I will cause trouble for all of you, and I _know _I am, even if you are all saying otherwise." Elsa immediately wished she hadn't said a word. Now Anna would be all worried and concerned again.

Gerda gently touched Elsa's hair and sat next to the two girls. "Miss Elsa, the trouble we have run into isn't your fault. I'm no expert on your family's role, but I think it has far more to do with the position you were born into than...you yourself. You know that."

"I left the castle with only Anna without anyone knowing. I dumped us on my relatives' doorstep with no warning. You are all forced to keep an eye on me because there's something wrong with me I can't fix no matter how much I try. Those things are my fault." Elsa twisted herself in Anna's arms so she could see Gerda and immediately winced. Anna noticed this and just held her still.

"You also saved a child and moved a storm, Elsa," Thomas spoke suddenly, startling all three of them. "I'm sorry, I didn't know Anna had let you and Gerda out already. Otherwise I would have knocked. I had Punzie's key, and I knew she was not in here." He pulled up a chair and calmly sat down; then asked Gerda if she minded returning to Primrose's rooms purely to keep up their ruse of who was who. Gerda said of course, gave Anna and Elsa hugs, and excused herself. Then Thomas returned his attention back to Elsa. "Elsa, you and Anna _were _invited here, at any time, for any reason. There was no 'dumping' on our doorstep. Did it occur to you that perhaps you simply need some time to heal? If Anna were stolen from you and treated badly for a long time before you were able to rescue her, wouldn't you take care of her as long as it took for her to feel better?"

Elsa nodded. "Of course I would, but that's different."

"Why is it different?"

"Because...because it's Anna. I love her. I would do anything to help her heal. No matter what, no matter how long it took." Elsa felt Anna's warm arms still holding her, still treating her like _just plain Elsa _even after everything. Anna would never leave her. Never, ever. Anna had never given up on her all those years in the past, either. She would do the same if Anna was in trouble. _I know that. I trust her._

Thomas looked straight at Elsa. "Replace Anna's name with yours. That's how the rest of us feel about you." _She's not going home if I think she's going to let herself be hurt again after her parents are rescued. Absolutely not. It wouldn't be right if I did._

"But I wasn't...um..." Elsa trailed off. _I have no argument. Elsa, let yourself relax. Try to push those old thoughts away. You're surrounded by people who care about you the same way you care about Anna. It will be okay. It's fine if it seems illogical. I think. _She abruptly held out her uncle's watch and blurted a thank you.

He did not say anything about the unintentional snowflakes or the tears still streaking her cheeks. What he did say was, "Anna, do not let her out of sight, even for a second."

Elsa had a sneaking suspicion that Uncle Thomas knew _exactly _what had been wrong, but somehow she felt more relieved than embarrassed or upset. _I do want everything to be okay. I don't _really _want to leave Anna, I just...still don't want to mess things up for her or anyone else, and I know if I wasn't here, then I can't mess things up._

Thomas hesitated before saying simply, "Let me show you something, Elsa." He rolled up his sleeve and held out his own arm. "I think you know exactly where this scar is from, don't you." It wasn't a question.

Elsa blinked. _Uncle Thomas did...that...himself? How long ago? It must've been something more destructive than a piece of sharp ice. That's old. Was he the same age as I am now? Who helped _him _feel better? Did Aunt Primrose help or had she met him yet? Was it after they lost baby Rapunzel? _She looked at Anna and then up at Thomas hesitantly. "I promised Anna I wouldn't make another attempt," Elsa said very quietly. "Months ago."

Thomas smiled at her. "That doesn't surprise me. I just wanted you to know you were _not _the only one that's felt that way before. You don't have to talk about it or ask questions if you don't want to, but now you know. You _can _ask about it if you ever want to." He reached for Elsa's hand, and this time she did not yank it away. "A few months are not very long. You've been stressed since you were quite little, and it sounded like more stressful things happened even after you got Anna back. Being injured doesn't help matters either. You _will _feel better. It will just take time, same as healing a physical injury."

Elsa was surprised not to be made to ask questions or even talk much if she didn't want to. She just nodded. Somehow hearing Anna-ish comments from someone else, someone else that had once felt the same way she did, really helped. _Logically I know they are right. It's just the...scared, hurt part of me that disagrees and I have to ignore that. _"What if...what if it doesn't?"

"You have help, Elsa. Help given freely that you don't have to ask for. You will be okay," Thomas said firmly. "What is _not _okay is if you two rescue your parents and things go back to the way they were before. That's what set you off, isn't it? Thinking about something like that?"

_Yes. _

Elsa twisted her bracelet from Anna around her wrist. "How did you know?"

"Because you were just locked in that safe room so the ambassador would not see you, and I know you were scared of being left in there even though you insisted it was fine." Thomas sighed. _Do I get Primrose? Maybe Elsa would prefer talking to her. I need to talk about...other things with Elsa sometime. Anna is here...she should be fine._

"That's because stupid Dad locked her in her closet and stuff like that," Anna said, clearly angry. "I don't even want them to come back if that sort of thing will happen again!" _I love them but I won't have Elsa hurt. Never again._

"That cannot happen again. Absolutely not. That is one thing I needed to talk with you two about. What do you think of simply bringing either Primrose or me with you when you go home, just in case?" Thomas asked.

Anna and Elsa looked at each other and then both nodded simultaneously. "We like that idea," Anna said. "Then we'll have, like, an actual grownup around that has the power to interfere if necessary. Like if Elsa won't do anything," she added pointedly. "And if everything goes fine, then that's good."

"I still do not want any fuss," Elsa put in, her expression back to her usual self again. _It's fine, Elsa. They want to help. Uncle Thomas even _really _understands how I have felt. He won't pressure me about it because he knows what it's like, but he will make sure I'm not left alone, either._

Thomas shook his head and smiled ruefully. "Elsa, I'm just going to say it since you seem all right now. There is almost certainly going to be 'a fuss', but it won't be because of you. You know my obnoxious guest we had to hide you two from? You've rights to declare war on Weselton. That ambassador let slip 'it would not be smart' for me to continue supporting 'the parents of that magical Arendelle girl'. We wanted confirmation that they were alive. Now we have it. I did not react to that bit, but I did give him a good dressing down for being so ridiculously rude."

Elsa considered this for a moment and then asked, "Does he know about the incident in the marketplace?" _If he does and thinks I'm dead, I need to get myself together and get home before something terrible happens to Arendelle. I don't know what they're planning, but that doesn't sound good. My country doesn't have a huge military force. I will have to help somehow, and I don't know how._

"I'm not sure, but I tend to think not. It's likely word has reached Weselton itself by now, but I don't think the ambassador here knows. When I asked what he meant by 'magic', he just said he knew the crown princess was 'cursed by ice'. I told him magic could be used for good and he should consider that before judging." Thomas paused; Elsa seemed utterly unsurprised, her gaze back on her clasped hands. "Frankly I wanted to tell him off, but I didn't want him to know I already knew about you and your magic, so I feigned surprise instead."

"My being here is putting you in a tough position," Elsa said slowly, clenching her hands into fists. _I could cause international issues if I'm not careful. I need to do _something. _Take authority away from people like the duke and his ambassador._

"No, he's all bluster. He doesn't know you are here, and no matter what he claims, he must know Corona could wipe Weselton off the map if provoked. Could be costly, certainly, but possible. _You _have the tough position, Elsa. If it comes down to it, you'll need to have a plan to protect yourself and Arendelle. I can help, but it's...it's something you need to handle yourself mostly for political reasons. You don't want other countries seeing you _have _to rely on Corona for assistance. Help, yes. Helpless without, no. Does that make sense?"

Elsa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. _It makes perfect sense. It also means I need to get home immediately after Christmas. I must. _"I am terrible at verbal communication. I can't meet with that duke-I will ruin everything even more."

"But you can write, and you have magic no one _really _knows the extent of, not even you. Use those things, and use people's ideas that an eighteen-year-old girl doesn't really know what she's doing and surprise them."

_I can fight by myself. I have done it. I can do better. I just need to learn how. _

Elsa nodded again, her expression determined. "And Anna is good at speaking to people. Maybe she can do that in my place if necessary, and I can do the behind-the scenes work."

"Well yes, of course Anna can help you, but I'm sure you _can _talk to people. You spoke up in the marketplace. You don't have to like talking to strangers to be able to do so. Being naturally shy is fine." Thomas continued speaking calmly and matter-of-factly, though he still felt torn every moment he spent with Anna and Elsa. There was _no _reason his nieces should have been separated for so long, and he still couldn't help thinking it was not fair that he'd lost his own daughter for so long...while a short ship's journey away someone else hadn't been taking care of his children properly at all.

Anna was smiling and hugged Elsa yet again. _Uncle Thomas understands Elsa perfectly. I know she can do stuff by herself even if she doesn't like it. It'll help lots for her to hear it from someone else. _"Yeah, exactly. Told you so," she said triumphantly.

"I need to plan for trouble before we go home." _You need to...learn how to fight properly. You must. You aren't willing to use the magic to protect yourself, but you will do it for others. _Elsa glanced at Anna again; the younger girl looked worried now.

"I don't want Elsa to have to fight or something though," Anna protested. "She might get hurt again."

"If she practices once she feels better, she will be less likely to get hurt," Thomas said quietly. "She knows Arendelle doesn't have a large military force. Hopefully it wouldn't come down to brute force, but _if _it did, then Elsa has the ability to fight and defend. All of us know that. You know it better than I do, Anna, since you've actually seen her do larger scale things."

Anna went quiet and looked at Elsa, who was just studying her hands very intently, as if they might tell her what to do next. _I do know. I just...don't want her to? _"I guess I sound dumb, saying Elsa can do tons of things with her magic and not wanting her fighting with it. I mean, I want Elsa to defend herself if she's in trouble obviously but I don't want her to have to. I like helping Elsa practice using her powers but I hate the idea of practicing because there might be somebody else that wants to hurt us on purpose."

"Anna, it's not dumb. You want to protect her. Do the two of you have any guards back at home that you trust enough to practice with?"

Elsa didn't look up from her hands, but she said, "Erik. And Kai, though he is not technically a guard." _I need to figure out the exact limits of what I can do with the arm that didn't heal quite right. That I can do now. Large scale things need to wait, but I could start with that._

"When you go home, you could have them practice on you. They should practice sparring against someone with magic anyway just in case. Surely you aren't the only person out there that has powers they can potentially fight with, yes?"

"Sparring with _me_?" Elsa asked curiously.

Uncle Thomas's eyes twinkled. "Think you might be too much for them?" he questioned with a grin.

"...What?! No!" Elsa's cheeks turned pink, and she sent Anna a _help! _look, but Anna only sat next to her stifling giggles. "What is so funny? I can't even move-_why _are you both laughing now?!" she asked. _Don't sass them, Elsa. Don't ruin everything. You know better._

"This is why. Look at this." Thomas held out a drawn pocketknife and stood up. "Take the knife away or otherwise neutralize it before I throw it and it hits the wall."

Elsa blinked again; then she reacted in a flash as her uncle drew his hand back and released the knife. A thin wall of ice crackled into existence instantly and the little knife clattered to the floor, unable to pierce the ice. Anna beamed proudly, but Elsa dissolved the ice immediately, feeling guilty for using her magic that easily around someone that was not Anna. What if Uncle Thomas changed his mind? "I'm sorry."

"No, no, no, don't be sorry. That proves my point. Elsa, you just need practice. Probably not even much of it. Now I need to go finish my work for the day. I'll be back with Christmas decorations later. All right?"

* * *

"A tree!" Anna squealed that evening when Rapunzel told her and Elsa that she and Eugene had spent the afternoon finding said tree. _I'm so excited! A family Christmas with Elsa. Nobody saying I can't see her._

_"_

Yeah! Dad and Eugene are gonna bring it in here. All those decorating supplies Dad brought in here earlier are for us to make ornaments with," Rapunzel said happily. "Though I guess you already know that," she added, seeing the long sparkling red and green paper chain draped across Elsa's lap, other chairs, the bed, and the floor. "Were you guys working on this all afternoon? It's pretty!"

Elsa looked up from where she was carefully adding tiny shimmering ice crystals to more links in the paper chain. "Mostly." _Are you sure this is okay? I know Anna likes my decorations, but...you are not Anna._

"Cool," Rapunzel said, plopping next to Anna, who was gluing more links to the paper chain. "Hey, wait a second. These sparkles are from you, Elsa! They're so detailed. Are they hard to make?"

"...No," Elsa replied after a moment, her voice quiet. She watched as Eugene and Uncle Thomas brought in a big Christmas tree. Aunt Primrose was behind them with Gerda; they were sweeping up the fallen needles from the tree. _I'm...having a real Christmas with Anna and even more family besides. This is normal for everyone else. I shouldn't make a big deal out of it. But it makes me happy. _She didn't say anything else, but Anna, who was sure she knew exactly what Elsa was thinking, sat next to her and put an arm around her.

"This is different for me too, Elsa," Anna whispered in her sister's ear, "because I'm going to get to spend Christmas with _you. _So thinking it's a big deal isn't weird." Anna was rewarded with a hug and a smile from Elsa. _Good. Elsa understands. I bet she won't talk much with everybody in here, but at least she is happy._

Soon the tree was set up in a corner, ready and waiting to be decorated. Rapunzel and Eugene ran to fetch a box of ornaments from the attic, and Gerda followed them to help, leaving Anna and Elsa with their aunt and uncle.

Elsa briefly wondered if this was intentional, but then decided she did not care if it was.

Primrose pulled two sprigs of holly out of a small bag and tucked them into Anna's and Elsa's hair. "There. I'm very glad you two are here to spend Christmas with us," she announced. Primrose looked right at Elsa next. "Do you feel well enough to help decorate the tree?"

"...I'm all right, but I _can't, _Aunt Primrose," Elsa said slowly, staring at her aunt. _Please don't be disappointed or mad at me. I'm sorry. _She twisted her bracelet around her wrist again nervously. _Elsa, stop. Aunt Primrose has been nothing but kind to you. You don't need to be nervous. Say something else. _"I...I think I would like to though," she added after a moment.

"Good," Primrose said briskly. "As nobody but your family is going to see you anyways, you can use your magic to help yourself do that if it won't hurt you. We would like your help hanging ornaments too." She patted Elsa's hand and went back to fluff the Christmas tree branches.

Elsa blinked in surprise and looked at Anna. Anna shrugged and crossed her arms, grinning at her like the Cheshire cat again. Elsa thought Anna had been doing that an awful lot recently.

"Well, go ahead then," said Anna, sounding extremely pleased.

"A sled or chair, something you can move yourself easily," Uncle Thomas suggested. "You made that detailed model ship, so I know you can also create something to help yourself, too. Imagine what your powers might be able to make to help Anna if _she _had been the one who was injured like you, and do that for yourself."

Elsa looked down at her hands and then back at Anna again. _It's...okay to do something like that? It really is? _The overwhelming feeling that she wanted to cry fell over her again. If she had been back at home with their parents and she'd been injured, what would happen _there_? Certainly she wouldn't have them telling her to use her magic to help herself do something...right? "It's really okay?" Elsa heard herself say.

"Yes, Elsa, it's okay," Primrose said gently. "You're safe here. If you still don't want to, we'll understand and figure something else out, but you _are _safe and it _is _okay. All right?"

_I just don't want to be left alone again. I don't want you to hate me. I don't want to let myself trust you and be hurt again when you don't want me anymore because I messed something up and made a mistake. I hurt Anna before. _

Elsa hesitated and then just etched those same thoughts on a piece of ice, not trusting herself to voice them aloud.

"Is this for me to read?" Primrose asked.

Elsa nodded, her fingers clutching at Anna as tightly as she could. Anna was there. If nobody else wanted her any longer, Anna would still save her. Anna, she trusted. Anna had rescued her enough times that she _knew _she could believe that.

Aunt Primrose seemed unsurprised, though; she set the ice aside and knelt in front of Elsa. "Do you really think any of us would not want you anymore because you made a mistake?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know. I...I suppose not?"

"I can understand why you don't want to let anyone else in again. Trusting someone makes that someone hurting you hurt worse than it would otherwise." Primrose gave her a reassuring smile and squeezed her hand gently. Elsa's hand was cold, and she immediately pulled her hand away. Primrose didn't say anything about it; she just waited for Elsa to say something.

"I don't know how to trust anyone else implicitly besides Anna," Elsa whispered. She sounded choked, as if the words hurt to say out loud. _Please let me talk right, _she silently begged herself. _I'm trying to do better. I do want to be able to trust others. I trust Gerda and Kai, but not quite as much as I do Anna. I trust Erik with...official things, but I wouldn't want him to know I'm like this, either. I trusted Mom and Dad to protect Anna from me, but nothing else. _

"That is because no one else has given you reason to do so, and people you should have been able to trust betrayed that. Can you give us a chance, Elsa? You do have Anna here. If anyone here ever betrayed that trust, I am sure she would make sure that _never _happened again."

Anna did not interfere; she stayed uncharacteristically quiet, still holding Elsa's hand. Elsa seemed to relax again, and she actually smiled. "I can do that. That I can do," Elsa said softly.

* * *

"This tree is going to look awesome," Rapunzel said happily a little while later. The sparkling paper chain had been done, but ornaments still needed to be hung.

"Not as awesome as the ice girl's throne," Eugene deadpanned. "Can you make more?" he asked Elsa.

Elsa turned red, but she nodded and smiled shyly. She had finally just made herself a wheelchair of ice so she could put ornaments up too, and while Anna had first been worried Elsa would hurt herself further being up and about on her own, she had quickly stopped that once she realized how much Elsa must have missed doing things by herself. Elsa seemed much more relaxed now, and she wasn't feeling so guilty because she needed help to get things. It made Anna more hopeful that Elsa would get better soon too, and that if she _didn't, _she would still be okay.

"You should sell them and get rich. Oh wait, you already are," Eugene said now.

Elsa laughed, and she shook her head. _That is ridiculous, but thank you for making me laugh, _she thought happily.

"Do I get a nickname too?" Anna asked, laughing herself. "You call Rapunzel Blondie and Elsa ice girl."

"I haven't thought of a good one yet," Eugene replied instantly. "If I do then you do."

"Fair." Anna hung a few more ornaments on the tree. She kept an eye on Elsa to make sure she was okay, but the older girl was clearly content at the moment. Elsa may not have been directly participating in conversation with anyone, but she was watching the others and hanging ornaments from the small box on her lap. And she was smiling. _I wonder what Elsa's thinking now. She's not talking, but she doesn't seem nervous, either. I guess she just wanted to be included at all._ Still, Anna also didn't want Elsa to hurt herself, either. Maybe she should lie down again. "You'll tell someone if you need to go lie down, right?" Anna whispered in Elsa's ear.

"...Maybe," Elsa replied honestly. "Anna, please don't fuss. You _know _I'm fine-you always know if I'm not."

"Yeah, I see that you're happy but your back hurts," Anna shot back, crossing her arms.

"Aw, she can finish hanging those ornaments, Prin-Anna," Eugene said casually. "The ice girl is tough. Just make her sleep once we're done decorating, maybe." He hesitated before adding to Elsa, "I think Blondie _can _help you, you know. I didn't want her or you guys to get your hopes up but seeing you use your magic easily right now makes me think she still has hers too, even though I said the opposite before. We were testing it earlier today."

Rapunzel frowned at him. "Eugene, why are you telling Elsa that already? We weren't even sure it was working!" she protested.

"Because it's true. Seeing her create ice and the blue glow _her _magic makes confirms it. Your hands were glowing gold earlier when you tried. Maybe it petered out because there wasn't anything for you to heal around, not because you can't do magic anymore," Eugene mused. "Anyway, I think you guys should experiment later."

The three girls all looked at each other and then nodded.

* * *

AN HOUR LATER...

"I'm _so _glad I get to have my cousins here for Christmas," Rapunzel said again. She, Anna, and Elsa were all lying on the carpet in front of the Christmas tree, the only light coming from the cozily crackling fireplace. They sipped hot chocolate and nibbled jelly cookies.

"Me too. It's so..._homey _here," Anna said, stuffing another cookie into her mouth. "I mean Corona definitely isn't home to me but you and Aunt Primrose and Uncle Thomas and even Eugene feel homey. Especially since Gerda's here."

Elsa stayed quiet, looking thoughtful. _It does feel homey. Even for me. When I feel wrong, I know it's just...me, not because of anything anyone else said or did to me. I can think, and even if I can't talk right all the time, no one fussed at me or became annoyed. _Elsa remembered speaking up back at home in the marketplace. She could too speak up-it just had to be for others. When it was for herself, she couldn't or else didn't know how. But Anna would do that much for her. The logical part of her knew her newfound family members in Corona would do the same. It was only the terrified little girl locked away for so long that didn't know it. This thought made Elsa smile, and she closed her eyes. _If I can just stop myself from being lost in those negative feelings...I will be okay. I _know _that. I'll be fine._

Anna knew Elsa was most definitely off in her own little world thinking, but since Elsa didn't seem to be panicking or otherwise upset, she let Elsa be. She did put a light blanket over Elsa and hug her, though. Elsa sighed happily and said thank you, but she didn't even open her eyes. It was clear the older girl was falling asleep.

Rapunzel wished _she _had a sister too. Quiet Elsa had someone close to her she could confide in and outgoing Anna had a built-in friend she would always have. She felt a bit jealous as she watched her cousins and then felt bad for being envious of them for that. "I think you're the one Elsa trusts the most," Rapunzel said quietly. "I sort of wish I had an Anna too," she admitted aloud.

Anna looked from Elsa to Rapunzel and back again. _I didn't do anything special. And I'm pretty ordinary. I know Elsa's just being...Elsa, and she doesn't trust much of anyone, but... "_Why would you say that? You have the bestest parents and a fun boyfriend. Or husband. Sorry, I just keep thinking he's just a boyfriend."

"Because you're, like, the _ideal _friend. If I had a little sister I would want her to be just like you," Rapunzel said, sipping the hot chocolate.

Anna felt a bit offended on Elsa's behalf. "What about Elsa? Are you saying you wouldn't want her?" she demanded quietly, feeling _very _protective of Elsa. There had been far too many people hurting Elsa and _not wanting _her. Anna was scowling now.

"Of course not!" Rapunzel exclaimed hurriedly, "she's nice, and funny, and she has magic like me besides. And, I said little sister. Elsa's not a little sister. She's a big sister."

"Oh. Okay," Anna said, mollified by that explanation. Tired Elsa was watching them curiously now, and she looked somewhat amused. "What's so funny, Elsa? I thought you were sleeping."

"You two. It's funny that someone thinks _I'm _funny, and you are being far too touchy, Anna. I thought that was my job," Elsa deadpanned. She closed her eyes again and sighed. "Thank you for everything. This has been such a nice evening. I think that I would like to have you come visit Arendelle when it's safe for Anna and me to return home."

"We didn't really do anything particularly special, though. I wish I could go outside the castle with you guys," Rapunzel said. "But I'd _love _to come visit! I hope I can sometime."

Elsa thought for a moment and then just answered, "It was special to _me. _You didn't exactly have family Christmases before either." _I shouldn't have said that. Elsa, why did you say that? It sounds rude and way too defensive. And you just told _Anna _she was being touchy._

"I didn't know I had another family. I thought Mother Gothel was all I had, and we did do stuff for Christmas, like having a tree and things. I guess...I guess I thought if _she _did that then certainly they weren't super special things. It was doing it with Mom and Dad that made it special, y'know?" Rapunzel sounded thoughtful and quiet now, and she swirled her spoon around in her hot chocolate to stir it up some more.

Elsa decided she did not want to explain that she had _not _had a tree in her room, and that after being told no the first Christmas after the accident, she hadn't bothered asking again. "Anna put special cards under my door every Christmas," she said instead, which was true and had always been the one thing she looked forward to every Christmas. "I would wake up and stand by the door waiting for her to put the gift under it after the first few times she did it." Elsa smiled and reached to give Anna a hug.

Anna frowned, but instantly hugged her. Elsa giving hugs herself still felt very special to her after all the times Elsa wouldn't let anyone near her because she thought she would hurt someone. _I don't wanna think about Elsa doing that by herself. I guess at least I made her happy. "_Well, you won't have to be alone this year," Anna promised.

"...Can I ask something?" Rapunzel asked hesitantly.

"Depends," said Anna, just as Elsa said, "Yes." Elsa gave Anna a pointed look, and Anna amended, "Well, all right, yes."

"It kind of sounds like you'd have been happier _here, _Elsa, so how come your parents didn't send you here to visit or something? I mean, my dad is actually really pissed you weren't sent here. He thinks I don't know, but I've heard him talking to my mom. He's angry he lost _me _for all those years and another father had _two _daughters and didn't take care of them properly. I...I think he's still sad, too," Rapunzel said softly. "He was mad, but I could hear him crying."

Elsa thought of the scars on Uncle Thomas's arm that he had shown her earlier and wondered if they had something to do with losing Rapunzel eighteen years before. She would not ask, but something told her that suspicion was probably right. He probably felt guilty after his baby daughter was kidnapped and unable to be found, and he would never have known whether his child was alive or dead, either. "I don't know," Elsa whispered finally.

"He prob'ly feels guilty for losing you and missing you growing up," said Anna, still clutching Elsa tightly. _No wonder Uncle Thomas is so mad at Dad. This is why._

"I know, but it's not his fault. He and Mom tried to find me!" Rapunzel protested. "I think they _spoil _me, actually."

Elsa smiled a little at that. "I don't _know, _but I think your parents are not spoiling you. I mean, I did hear Uncle Thomas scolding you for mentioning us in public even if it was before promising not to. They are just kind people and...reasonable." _Do I believe that? Yes. Yes I do. For Rapunzel anyway. She deserves her parents to be kind to her. _Elsa felt Anna hold her even more tightly at that, but she didn't say anything about it or try to pull away.

There was a small crash and then a tiny yelp from Anna as she accidentally dropped the almost-empty hot chocolate mug with the hand she was not using to hold Elsa. "Oops. I'm so sorry!" she exclaimed, and gently put Elsa back on her pillows before starting to pick up the pieces. "Ow, I think I cut myself," Anna muttered a moment later.

"Anna, what _are _you doing?" Elsa asked, sounding both worried and amused. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just gonna go wash my hand and then-oh wait! Punzie! Try healing my finger! Because if you can do _that, _then you can help Elsa. It can be an experiment," Anna said excitedly. "Oh I'm glad I cut my finger on one of those shards now. Perfect. We didn't want to risk hurting Elsa by experimenting on her when she's already seriously hurt, this is a good experiment."

Elsa watched curiously as Rapunzel took a deep breath and began singing her healing flower song. _She has magic just like me. I can _see _it, _she thought happily. Even if her cousin could do nothing to heal her, it felt _so _nice to know and see for herself that she was not the only human girl with magic. Rapunzel's magic might not be like Elsa's, but it still made Elsa feel that she wasn't so different after all. _Except...Rapunzel's magic isn't dangerous like mine._

_Stop it, Elsa. Think of the good things instead. You aren't alone. Anna is here. Your relatives care about you. Christmas will be lovely. You get to hug Anna anytime you want. _Elsa ticked off good things in her head until Anna practically jumped on her with excitement a few minutes later. "Anna! That hurt," she protested.

"I'm sorry, but! Elsa! Elsa, Elsa, Elsa! I think Punzie really can help you! Lookit at my finger! You can't even tell where I cut it! And she says the more she directed the magic with her hands while she sang the easier it got. Can we try to heal you too? Please? Please can Punzie try?" Anna's words were tripping over themselves because she was talking so fast. She tugged Elsa's arm until Elsa nodded, more to make Anna stop yanking than anything else. "Oh goody! Goody goody gumdrops!"

Elsa's blue eyes were more wary than excited. _What if my magic reacts to Rapunzel's like it did with the troll magic when we tried to get Anna's memories back? And... "_What if it doesn't work?" she asked in a small voice.

Rapunzel hesitated but then decided to just answer honestly. "I don't _know, _but I'm sure I could at least heal you enough so you're not in pain anymore. We still don't know if you'd heal completely in time or not, but if some of it is permanent, I dunno if I can fix that part. But I think I could at least make it not hurt. I feel like I can anyways." She looked nervous now, twirling a bit of her brown hair around her finger.

"Promise you will stop if I say so?" Elsa asked, looking her cousin straight in the eyes. "I, um...I don't know if _my _magic will react to yours trying to help me. If it does and I can't contain it, you and Anna _need _to run into the other room and leave me alone for a bit. I do want your help, but I don't want to risk hurting you, either." _There. I talked properly, and that is reasonable. I do want help, but I won't have them hurt because of it._

Anna knew Elsa was thinking of the trolls. "Just speak up before it gets to be too much to hold in, all right? We understand, but I won't leave you alone. So you better say, I need you to stop now, _before _it gets to be too much pressure," she said in a very serious voice.

Elsa nodded. _I can definitely do that. _She let Anna help her sit up and just stay resting in Anna's arms. _If this works, I can actually _do _something for Anna's birthday, _Elsa thought hopefully.

"Okay, I'm gonna try now, Elsa. Is that okay?" Rapunzel asked. "Gosh, now _I'm _nervous! I hope I can help."

Elsa nodded again. "I'll speak up if I need you to stop." Elsa closed her eyes and fiddled with her bracelet from Anna as she heard Rapunzel begin singing again. An odd warm foreign magic mixed with her own normal cool sense of magic, but Elsa did not feel as if her ice were trying to kick Rapunzel's healing magic out. _It just feels...wary. Like it's related to mine somehow but different. It doesn't hurt. And I feel better already. Not hurting in the normal way so much anymore, either._

"It's working, Elsa!" Anna said excitedly. "I know so cause you moved your leg a bit. Can you feel it?"

Elsa nodded, but she refused to let herself get too excited just yet. At the very least she wouldn't be in pain anymore, like Rapunzel had said. _I'm not going to expect anything at all. Then I won't be disappointed. Whatever happens, I still have Anna here with me, and if I still need help, then...I suppose that's fine. I just still really don't want her to have to, but I know I can't do anything about that. _Anna continued holding her, and she stayed very, very still. The ice inside remained calm, just wary of the intrusion on its owner and ready to react if something harmed her. _No, ice, it's just Rapunzel. It is fine. _All of a sudden the outside magic went away, and then there was Anna gently shaking her shoulders and asking if she was okay. "I-I'm fine. That was...strange. But Rapunzel's magic didn't hurt me like Grand Pabbie's did."

"Can...can you move, Elsa?" Anna asked hesitantly. _Elsa doesn't look like she's hurting anymore, at least. I guess that's good? If she still can't, then that probably means she never will._

Elsa's blue eyes lit up, and she nodded happily. "I don't think I feel back to normal, exactly, but I don't hurt anymore and I _can _move," she said slowly, as if she were trying to figure it out herself. "I shall fall asleep _instantly _tonight. I feel so much better!"

Anna thought Elsa had already been falling asleep quickly since she had been injured, but she didn't say this. _She must've been hurting more than I thought. I knew she was in pain, but she's seemed so...unbothered by it, I guess I didn't think about it as much I might have otherwise. I wasn't going to let her overdo anything, but I didn't make her take that pain medicine all the time either. _"Good. Thanks so much for helping Elsa, Punzie. She really needed it," Anna said gratefully.

Rapunzel looked extremely pleased with herself and beamed. "I'm just sorry I couldn't heal you right when you got here, Elsa. I'm glad you at least _feel _better. Not that I know what I'm talking about, but...did other magic hurt you too? It kinda felt like there was some other magic that injured you somehow. But mostly ordinary means? Does that make sense?"

Anna and Elsa traded glances. Anna decided to let Elsa explain herself, and if she had trouble doing so then she would help. "I was shot with a normal weapon, but the bullet had some sort of...other magic in it," Elsa explained simply. She tentatively tried to stand up; then immediately lost her balance and would have fallen if Anna hadn't caught her. _Okay. I can move, but my balance is off. I can't get one leg to hold me. Fine. That might improve if I practice, and if not, I shall figure something else out._

_"_

I bet, Punzie, that you can heal injuries caused by ordinary stuff. And not magic. That would explain why Elsa seems _much _better but isn't back to her normal self, either," Anna thought aloud. "Elsa, let me clean up the mess I made breaking that mug, okay? I don't want you to fall on it." _I _know _Elsa feels better, but I still hope she gets completely back to her normal self again. But if not I shall always help her._

_"_Okay," Elsa said agreeably, and she let Anna help her back over to the chaise lounge she had been resting on earlier.

Soon the mess was gone, and the girls went back to lying comfortably near the tree with blankets and pillows. Elsa told Rapunzel thank you several times and curled up next to Anna, thinking she would actually figure out exactly what she could and could not do tomorrow. For tonight, it was enough to know she was no longer in pain and could at least move again. Rapunzel turned pink, still thinking she should have been able to heal Elsa before when her cousins had first arrived. _I guess at least I made her and Anna happy. Cause I don't think they have gotten to be happy very much. They make me happy too. I like getting to have visitors. And Elsa's lucky to have Anna. I'm sure she would agree, too._

* * *

"I don't wanna do this anymore! She has magic like me and I changed my mind. Don't want to hurt her anymore! I shan't make any more bullets for you," the young girl proclaimed stubbornly.

"You'll be punished severely if you back out now. You know too much."

Green eyes glinted in the dim light of the candle. "You do that anyway. Maybe I'll use _mine _on _you. _I didn't want my power, but you don't know how to take it away. So there."

The diminutive man backed away from the young girl fearfully. "Th-that won't be necessary. I'll write to your parents instead."

The child seemed stunned speechless temporarily. "Fine. I'll help. Just don't...don't hurt them."

**A/N: Previous readers probably know it's a younger Kiara at the end there. However circumstances are different this time...**

**Next chapter coming soon!:)**


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